


Runaway

by Emcee



Series: Runaway [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Babysitting, Bisexual Poe Dameron, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Children of Characters, Clones, Emperor Hux, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghosts, Force Training, Force Visions, Gray Jedi, Jedi Holocron, Jedi Master Ezra Bridger, Jedi Training, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Minor Character Death, Multi, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Original Character(s), Past Character Death, Rebel Ben Solo, Revamped Legends Characters, Road Trips, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Sith Holocron, Star Wars: Rebels References, Twi'leks, Virgin Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-18 01:21:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 49
Words: 110,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13089459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emcee/pseuds/Emcee
Summary: After his humiliating defeat on Crait and being cut off from Rey, Kylo Ren finds he has no taste for leading the First Order. When the First Order apprehends The Ghost-- under the command of Captain Kaila Syndulla-- he sees his opportunity.Ben Solo will travel the galaxy to understand his place in it and how to become the man Rey wants.





	1. The Finalizer: Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those reading this after the Rebels finale has aired, I started this BEFORE the second half of Rebels season four. Had I waited... Probably would've just written about Jacen. But alas... 
> 
> After thirty-eight chapters the back half aired... And I had to rewrite to fit the canon, because the Rebels was beautiful. But that's why there might be some discrepancies.

They were planning to kill him. As Kylo stared out the viewport of the _Finalizer,_ this thought stayed at the forefront of his mind.

Even without the Force, Kylo would've been able to sense it. Hux wasn't gifted with great cunning. It was plain as day that Hux wished to supplant him. The troopers were loyal to Hux. A coupe was only a matter of time.

They feared him, but after his embarrassing defeat on Crait they did not respect him. They saw him as a petulant child. They barely tolerated him as Snoke's second in command, let alone his successor.

Kylo was going to burn it all down.

And then... What? What would he leave in its place?

Ben thought of Rey. How much easier it would have been has she been at his side? Then, everything would have made sense. Everything made so much more sense when he had been with her. Even if he questioned their bond, he never questioned _her_. He had never allowed himself to be so open to anyone and yet... It had felt natural. Right.

What was he supposed to do now?

Ben didn't care about the First Order. If he were honest, he never cared. He had wanted to please his master, the only one who had ever believed in him, who had never abandoned him. The very master he'd cut in half.

For her.

Rey had believed in him. Believed that there was something of worth.

But even she had abandoned him eventually.

"Supreme Leader."

Kylo looked away from the viewport, turning to face General Hux.

"We've intercepted a ship. VCX-100 Light Freighter. We've detained the Captain on suspicion of smuggling and possibly collaboration. The cargo was... Suspect." General Hux took a step towards Kylo.

Holding his head high, Kylo took a deep breath. He was still adjusting to being consulted on such matters. "Why are you bringing this to me? Is it not something you can handle?"

"The Captain was armed." Hux held out the weapon. "With this."

With gloved hand, Kylo accepted the lightsaber. He held it in his hands. He had not seen it for years, but it was so familiar to him. There was no mistaking it. Leather-clad fingers curled around the hilt. "Take me to her."

Kylo stormed after Hux towards the cellblock. As they moved closer, Kylo thought about his helmet. He had been going without for months. Now, he regretted the decision to destroy it.

Two Stormtroopers flanked the cell. "Leave," Kylo growled. The troopers did not hesitate to scatter. Kylo turned his smouldering gaze towards Hux. "I said _leave_." He flung out his hand, sending the General flying down the corridor.

He turned his attention back to the cell, dimly aware of Hux scrambling away. He pressed the controls, the cell door opening with a whoosh.

It had been years since he had seen her, but she did not look much different. He walked slowly into the cell, eyeing the slight, green-skinned woman. "Captain Syndulla."

She raised her chin defiantly. "Supreme Leader Ren, is it?" Her Rylothian accent was thicker than he remembered. She had spent time with her mother's people since he'd seen her last. "You've gone up in the world."

Her blue eyes drifted to her lightsaber. "If we are to do this, I would like for that back. Make it a duel rather than an execution."

Ben looked at the lightsaber and flinched slightly. He was taken aback not by the request, but the idea he would execute her. It disturbed him that it _hadn't_ been his first instinct. "You're smuggling now? Hardly fitting a Jedi."

She shook her head slowly. "Not much is expected of a Jedi anymore."

"You're smuggling for the Resistance."

"I'm smuggling for a lot of people," She retorted.

"You don't even bother to deny it." Kylo held out the lightsaber, extending it towards her slender throat, still unignited. She closed her eyes, grimacing. "You're very brave. And very stupid."

"I have very little to lose," She whispered. "By your reputation, I have been living on borrowed time for quite a while."

It would have been so easy to ignite the blade, to slice open her throat. Instead, Ben withdrew the saber. Without another word, he turned and stormed out of the cell.

Hux was lingering. "Supreme Leader..." He approached hesitantly.

"Confiscate her cargo. I will deal with her personally."

 

* * *

 

 

Kaila Syndulla.

Ben-- no, Kylo-- laid back on his bed and wondered the last time that name had come to his mind. He supposed he hadn't given her a thought since he'd joined Snoke. He wondered why he hadn't. She was an obvious target. She, Ahsoka Tano and Ezra Bridger had been the only Jedi he knew of with Skywalker in exile. They were good at keeping a low profile. It made it easy to put it out of his mind.

He remembered when he first met her. He had been seven and another nanny had left his parents' employ. It was difficult to find someone to deal with a rambunctious, Force wielding child. Whenever he drove one off, he ended up left with Threepio, which was never fun. But that time... That was when he met Kaila. She was a skinny twelve-year-old who looked like she would crack after an hour with him. He'd laughed and tried to topple a shelf of knick-knacks. She'd simply raised a hand and lifted him off his feet. She turned him over in the air.

" _Listen kid, we're going to have some rules around here. You can't mess with me._ "

He hadn't met anyone even close to his age who had the Force. His uncle had been searching for potential Force sensitives, but it was very slow. They had all gone into deep hiding. Kaila had been under his nose the whole time. She had been born not long before the Battle of Yavin, the daughter of Jedi who had survived Order 66. He had died before she was born. While her mother cared for her non-Force Sensitive brother, Ahsoka Tano had taken her to safety amongst a colony of Twi'lek refugees, while her mother fought with the Rebellion.

While Luke did eventually find more Force sensitives-- some even closer to Ben's age-- Kaila remained his confidant. Unlike the others, she knew what it was like to be left for the war.

" _We are children of the Rebellion, Ben. Consider yourself lucky you were born when hostilities were over._ "

The children of the Rebellion. What miserable people would bring children into the world, only to abandon them to a cause?

He felt a stab of anger. The children of the Rebellion were abandoned. And some of the children of the Rebellion abandoned people too.

Kylo raised his head and looked to the lightsaber, on the table across the room. He should have stormed back into her cell and taken her smug, green head off.

 

* * *

 

Ben was having trouble sleeping. He hadn't had a proper night's rest since Crait.

No, before that. Since Jakku. Since the droid and confronting his father and...

"Rey...." The name slipped out of Ben's lips before he had a chance to stop himself. It didn't matter if he said it audibly. He was screaming it across the Force.

He grimaced as he felt like he was tossed against a wall. The air was knocked out of him from the jolt. It felt so unnatural. Ben could _feel_ the connection. Even if Snoke had caused it, his death had not ended it. He was still tethered to Rey. But she refused to allow him in.

She was talented.

Ben remembered the look in her eyes the last time he saw her. That cold determination. That disappointment.

It had been worse when they had actually been together, in the throne room on _Supremacy_. She had believed him in. But he'd let her down.

Kylo clutched at his chest, fingers digging into the flesh. What was he feeling? What was this sick, disgusted sensation going through him like waves?

He had been feeling like this for weeks. He'd first felt it in the moments after he killed Solo.

He rose from his bed and donned his robes. He grabbed his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt. He needed to do _something_. He wasn't sure what. He paused for a moment, seeing the twisted remains of his grandfather's helmet.

He shook his head, ignoring the shame that washed over him at the sight. He strode out of his chambers and into the corridor.

Kylo's first thought was to go through with it: to go to Kaila's cell and kill her. She was his past. Hadn't he been telling Rey to let go of the past? Why was it so easy for him to say it to her, but impossible for him to actually do it?

Then, the memory of his father's touch on his cheek came unbidden to his mind. Caressing his face before he careened into the abyss of Starkiller Base.

Ben thought about his mother. He hadn't been the one to do it, but he felt like he had. If he hadn't led the team in, his wingman wouldn't have taken out the bridge. He as well as killed her, even if he hadn't been the one to fire.

He should've killed Kaila. She was a Jedi. She was a threat.

Then... Wasn't Rey also a threat?

He heard voices.

"Shouldn't we clear this with the Supreme Leader? That's a lot of credits." He didn't recognize the voice. One of the uniformed plebes.

"That girl murdered Supreme Leader Snoke." That voice he recognized: Hux. "We _cannot_ allow this. Supreme Leader Ren would tell you the same. I want every bounty hunter in the galaxy looking for her!"

Something else coursed through Ben: Fear. Hux was targeting Rey. Of course, Ben had told Hux that Rey had killed Snoke. Of course the First Order would want her dead.

Ben closed his eyes and reached through the Force. He needed to tell her, to warn her.

When he was greeted by the wall again, his body seemed to move on autopilot. He walked back to his chambers. He grabbed his pack. He shoved spare robes in, his holocrons. He stopped at Vader's mask. His hand reached out towards it.

He abruptly moved his hand away and picked up Kaila's lightsaber. He slung his pack over his shoulder and strode back into the corridor, to the lift.

As he was walking down the corridor to the cell, he thought of FN-2187. The traitor. He had done this. He had done _exactly_ this.

Ben shook away the thought and stopped in front of Kaila's cell. He opened it. She raised her head from the hard bunk, looking at the lightsaber in his hand.

He threw it to her and she caught it deftly. She rose to her feet. "So we're doing this?"

"Come with me," Ben demanded.

Ben heard her footsteps behind him. He walked with determination towards the lift. Hux had told him which docking bay the Ghost was being held in. He was Supreme Leader, he had the codes to get anywhere he wanted.

He heard the stormtrooper ahead, but he also heard the thrum of Kaila's lightsaber coming to life behind him. "You arm me and then are stupid enough to turn your back on me?"

Ben snatched up his lightsaber and ignited it. He slashed it across the Stormtrooper before he even had the chance to fully round the corner. He pushed the body aside savagely, looking over his shoulder to the Twi'lek. "If you see anyone, kill them. Don't hesitate. They won't."

When they reached the lift, Ben disengaged his lightsaber. Kaila-- obviously reluctant-- did the same.

"Do you mind explaining to me what is going on?" She demanded.

Ben cocked his head. "You said you smuggle for a lot of people. You're going to smuggle for me."

Kaila sneered. "I'd rather die."

"That can be arranged."

Kaila pulled back. She took a breath. "And what exactly do you want me to smuggle?"

"Me."


	2. The Ghost: Old Friends

Ben took a breath as the _Ghost_ shot away from the _Finalizer_. Hux would piece together what had happened soon enough. He'd left more than a few bodies. But the _Ghost_ was in hyperspace before the Star Destroyer could see it. Ben's authorization allowed them to open any doors they needed without raising any alarms.

If he thought he had much time to rest after his escape, he underestimated his companion.

As soon as the ship had come to a stop, Kaila's lightsaber flared to life. "Do you mind telling me what is going on?"

Ben looked impassively at the glowing blue blade. "You're free and you have your ship. Why does anything else matter?"

"You kidnap me! you commandeer my ship!" Kaila rose up, taking her stance. "These are not the actions of the man they call Jedi Killer."

"Do you really want to test that?" Kylo snapped venomously, reaching for his lightsaber.

Kaila just continued to glower at him, her skin illuminated turquoise from the glow of her saber. "Oh, believe me, I have suspected that day to come for years now!" She took a step towards him. "Your own mother told me what you had done. What you would do if you found me. I expected a monster. But what do I see before me? A frightened brat!"

Kylo blinked, shocked by Kaila's words. She really had no fear of him. She'd comes to terms with her inevitable demise. "Fly the ship," he ordered.

"Why do you need my ship?" She asked. She pointed out into space. "You command the entire fleet of the First Order. You rule the galaxy! You could have any of them take you wherever you want to go!" She stopped for a moment, blinking, before cocking her head, Her lekku hanging to the side. "You don't want them to know where you're going. You're running away."

Kylo took a step back. He blinked and swallowed hard.

Kaila's lightsaber disengaged. She dropped it to her side and took a step towards him, furrowing her brow. "Ben....?"

His father, uncle and Rey had been the only ones to call him by that name for years. Snoke had forbid it from being spoken aloud. Kylo turned away, pointing to the controls. "Fly. If you won't, I can do it myself."

Kaila took her seat at Ghost's helm. "She must be a hell of a woman."

"What?" Kylo took the co-pilot's seat. He felt his heart do an odd flutter in his chest.

"The _girl_. The one everyone is talking about." Kaila flicked a few switches. "The one you killed Snoke for. Have the rest of the First Order found out? Is that why you're running?"

"The girl killed Snoke," Ben-- no, Kylo... Kylo, Kylo, Kylo-- snarled.

"I heard that story too. But there is another story I have heard from the Rebellion." Kaila turned to him. "One where it was you. You killed Snoke to save the girl's life. You fought by her side. I have not met her. But if you were willing to turn against your Master for her..." She raised her arms over her head, stretching. "Your father wasn't even spared."

Ben kept his gaze firmly on the space in front of them. "Why are you flying the _Ghost_? Your mother would never give up this ship."

There was a pause. Just a heartbeat of hesitation. "I'm not going to tell the Supreme Leader of the First Order anything."

"So she's not dead then. No reason to keep it a secret if she was." Ben thought about it. He blinked as realization dawned and he finally turned to Kaila. "Did she think Thrawn would recognize it?"

Kaila remained silent.

"You might as well tell me. Even if I hadn't left the First Order, I don't care if General Syndulla has gone after Thrawn. The First Order cut ties with him years ago. His little ride through hyperspace did things to his mind." Ben nodded. "Yes... That's it. She's gone after Thrawn. She always had a personal vendetta against him."

"She came to me several years ago and gave me the _Ghost_. I haven't seen her or the rest of the crew since. They're somewhere in the Unknown Region." She paused. "I think."

"Does it bother you?"

"No." Kaila turned to Ben, glowering. "I'm thirty-four kriffing years old. I don't need my mother to watch over me." She pointed a finger at him. "Tell me, Ben... Is taking over the galaxy just a temper tantrum because you think your Mommy and Daddy abandoned you? It wouldn't surprise me. You Skywalkers have always let your family squabbles nearly tear the galaxy apart."

Kylo reached for his lightsaber. Kaila threw her hand out and Force Shoved it out of his hand.

His hand then shot out towards her, fingers curling inward as he reached out with the Force. Kaila grabbed at her throat, choking for air. "I wouldn't test me, Kaila. You think me a brat? I look at you and do you know what I see? A Jedi washout who runs from responsibility and dresses like a Twi'lek whore."

He released his hold on her and Kaila slumped over, taking in deep, gasping breaths. Kaila looked up at him, fear in her eyes for the first time. "What happened to you, Ben?"

Kylo glared. "Maybe if you hadn't left you'd know."

"Certainly doing a lot to dispel me of the belief you're a brat with abandonment issues." She went quiet, turning her focus towards the console in front of her. It was clear it was busy work. She was thinking. "You're walking trash, but you did get me off a Star Destroyer. I can get you away from the First Order... But that's all I'm promising."

* * *

 

Ben laid back in the bunk. He had randomly chosen one of the four cabins. It didn't seem to be currently lived in. He wasn't sure he cared if it were.

As he reached out with the Force, trying to locate Rey, he felt something. The room had echoes of the Force in it. They were long gone, but still flickers of the light remained. His eyes opened at the sound of the door. "Was this Master Bridger's cabin?"

"My father's," Kaila replied. "Ezra was next door. You can sense him, can't you?" She leaned against the wall and smiled. "Sometimes I come in here and I... I feel his presence."

"Why aren't you flying the ship?" Ben groused, turning on his side to face away from Kaila.

"Why are you so angry at me for leaving?" Kaila asked. He could hear her footsteps on the metal floor, getting closer and closer to him. "Are you so sorry you didn't have the chance to butcher me with the rest of the students?"

"You left because of who I was," Ben snapped. "You found out about my family and you _left_."

"I followed my Master," Kaila replied. "There was always friction between Ezra and Master Skywalker. And when the news about your grandfather came out... That was the straw that broke the eopie's back."

Kylo sat up. "Vader was a  _ great man _ ."

"Vader killed a lot of people," Kaila snapped back. "He would've killed Ahsoka if Ezra hadn't intervened."

Kaila sat down in the chair across from Ben. "It wasn't just that Vader was Master Skywalker's father... Your grandfather. Master Skywalker tried to explain to Ezra everything that happened at the Battle of Endor. Master Skywalker risked the entire Rebellion-- my mother, Chop, Rex, Sabine, Zeb,  _ everyone _ \-- to bring Vader back to the light side. Ezra just couldn't stay around someone who did that." She looked down. "I had to go with him. Ezra was my Master. He was  _ family."  _ She paused. "He regretted leaving. After he'd cooled down. But by then... It was too late."

Ben swallowed the lump that had developed in his throat. "Because I killed everyone."

"You did."

"I lashed out at the man who tried to murder me."

It was now Kaila's turn to recoil.

"I woke up to find my uncle standing over me with his lightsaber ignited, ready to strike." Kylo sat up. "I saw the hypocrisy of the Jedi."

"Master Skywalker was afraid," Kaila whispered. "Of what you were becoming."

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering," Kylo snapped, mocking the words Luke had spoken so many times. "When I looked into his eyes.... There was no difference. Light or dark. It didn't matter."

"Dark Sider's lament isn't going to work with me." Kaila rose to her feet. "Nothing you can tell me is going to justify what you've done, Ben. You've killed good people. Our friends. But if you're looking for absolution, the rebels need supplies. I was supposed to bring them. I can work some deals. Get what they need. While I'm dropping them off, I can take you to them."

Ben shook his head. "You can't. If I try to walk into the Resistance headquarters, he'll kill me on sight."

"He?" Kaila shook her head. "He who?"

" _Luke_ ," Ben replied.

"Luke's dead, Ben."

Ben couldn't explain the feeling that rose up in him at tht pronouncement. His father was gone. His mother. And now Luke. "How?"

"When you fought him on Crait," Kaila sighed deeply. "He was still at the First Jedi Temple. He projected himself across the galaxy. It drained his life force."

Another one of his family Ben had caused the death of. "He sacrificed himself to stop me." Ben nodded slowly. He looked down. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. I just know what your mom told me."

Ben's head jerked up. "My mom? My mom's dead."

Kaila let out a laugh. "What are you talking about? General Organa is fine. Well... Not _fine_. She's still recovering. Not to mention losing her husband and her brother in such a short span."

"I was _there_!" Kylo shouted. "I saw the bridge get blown up. I know she was on it! I felt her! That's why I..."

"That's why you what?"

Kylo wasn't about to explain to Kaila his feelings in that moment when he'd sensed his mother. How he'd refused to shoot. How his wingman had done it anyway. They emptiness that filled him as he watched that section of the ship explode. "I know my mother is dead."

"General Organa is the one who asked me to ferry supplies to the Rebellion. She trusts me... Because she trusted me with her son. She keeps trying to convince me to stay on. To work with your girl. I don't know what you think happened, but your mother is alive."

"How?" Kylo demanded.

"You never thought much of her choice. Not learning the ways of the Force. That didn't mean she didn't have it. And it's strong in your family. Stronger than any I've seen. Even untrained, an explosion wasn't going to take out General Leia Organa."

She rose to her feet. "So you don't want to go to the Rebellion. So what next, Ben?"

"I don't know," Kylo growled, trying to ignore the panic rising in him at Kaila's revelations.

"Are you going to hold me hostage? Make me take you wherever you want to go? You really haven't given me a compelling reason to put up with you. I got you away from the First Order. My debt to you is paid. Once I find a quiet planet, I'm going to drop your sorry, murderous ass off."

Kaila turned and stormed out of the room.

* * *

 

"A bit hard on him, don't you think?"

Kaila whirled around at the voice behind her. "Dad."

When he had died, he had been blind. But when he appeared to her, he always looked at her with warm eyes. Had he not been an ethereal blue, Kaila knew his eye color would have matched hers. Kanan smiled softly. "Hi Kai."

"What are you doing here?" She felt her eyes well with tears. "I haven't seen you in years."

"It's not that easy, is it? Besides, you don't need me." Kanan reached out to her, his hand ghosting over her cheek. "Look at you. All grown up. You look so much like your mother." He shook his head. "You can't leave Ben."

"You know what he did." Kaila retorted. "Am I just supposed to forget that and let him tag along like my little brother? Try to redeem his soul?"

"You can't redeem him. No one can do that but him. But he needs a shepherd."

"He has his mother," Kaila looked down. "He has the girl. They keep calling her the last Jedi. Master Skywalker was so self-important, he ignored the rest of us..."

"That's _Ezra_ talking. He and Luke had their problems." Kanan tilted up Kaila's chin. "I saw the destruction of the Jedi. For nearly sixty years the Force has tried to recover from the chaos. It's finally healing but the only way the Jedi will truly be revived is if the rifts are repaired. If those that use the Force can band together."

"If Master Skywalker's protege is so powerful, give her the responsibility! Maybe she'll have some luck. It's obvious Ben is in love with her. Isn't that supposed to be what redeems?"

"She's too close to it all," Kanan responded. "Ben needs to change for _him_. Not for the girl. Not for his mother. Being around them will create expectations." He smiled. "Not to mention the girl is young and as volatile as Ben. She need to finds a path a much as he does. You already know yours."

Kaila looked towards the cockpit. "My path's just open space."

"Open space will be good for him. He needs to get a little lost in the galaxy before he can find his way."


	3. Takodana: Sanctuary

Ben awoke with a jolt, blinking with surprise when he found himself somewhere quiet. He had actually managed to fall asleep. It felt like forever since he'd gotten any sleep. Even with his argument with Kaila, maybe his mind knew-- deep down-- that he was away from the First Order. That he didn't have to be at high alert.

He didn't trust other people to be around him while he slept. Not since he'd woken up to Luke standing over him with a lightsaber. He trusted Kaila, but only because she made her disgust of him so overt. She wouldn't try to kill him while he was unaware. She would want him to know she was doing it and she would tell him exactly why she was doing it.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He had actually done it. He had left. He wasn't out of danger... Nowhere close to it. But he had at least gotten away from the _Finalizer_. He would work everything else out in time.

He felt a tug in his heart. He hadn't felt that sensation in weeks. He looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Rey. But as soon as he'd felt it, it faded.

She was thinking of him. He closed his eyes. "Rey... It's all right..."

There was no answer on her end. He scowled and got out of bed. He pulled on his robes and stormed into the common area.

Kaila was holding a plate in one hand, a cup in the other. She gave him a nod. "Morning. There's still some caf in the galley. There are also some more panna cakes that you can warm up. Sorry the selection is thin. Once we make landfall, I'm going to replenish the stores."

Ben blinked, shaking his head slowly.

Kaila frowned. "Panna Cakes. You know... Little round things? Put some bantha butter and carbosyrup on them?"

"I don't eat things like that," Kylo snapped. "What's the point?"

"Um, nutrition?" Kaila took a bite of her food. She chewed and then swallowed it. "Avoiding starvation?"

"Protein paste is more efficient," Kylo replied.

"But it tastes like hull caulk." Kaila crinkled her nose. She gestured her mug towards the galley. "I mean, if you really want some, there's some in the emergency ration kits. Bottom cupboard to the right."

Ben took a step towards the galley and then paused. His brow furrowed. "Why are you being nice to me?"

"Because this is my second cup of caf?"

Ben turned. "Last night, you were ready to drop me off on the nearest asteroid. This morning, you're offering me breakfast."

"Yeah well...." Kaila took a deep sip of her caf. "I had some time to think about it. And well, right now I don't have any crew working for me. I could use a second set of hands, even if those hands are stained with the blood of the innocent. So you can... Stay on board. If you want."

Ben opened his mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say in response. He closed his mouth and just stared at Kaila.

She shrugged. "Besides, if worse came to worse, I could turn you in. News of your desertion has hit the Holonet. There's a bounty on your head: Two million credits, dead or alive. Highest bounty in history. Your father would be proud if you hadn't killed him."

"You would do that?" Ben asked warily.

Kaila sneered. "Of course I wouldn't. That would be giving the First Order what they want and I don't like doing that." She sat down at the table with her plate. "So if you've got that big a bounty on you, the smartest thing to do is stay on the move. And like I said... I could use the help."

"So what's your plan from here?"

Kaila ate another piece of panna cake and chewed thoughtfully. "The first thing we need to do is refuel. I burned off our supply pretty well getting away from the _Finalizer_. We also need information."

"Like what?" Ben cocked his head in question.

"Think, kid. Or are you just planning to fight your way across the galaxy?" She paused. "That is what you're thinking, isn't it?" She sighed. "We need to know _where_ the First Order is looking for you. Who they're sending out. Is it just bounty hunters, or are your Knights of Ren willing to turn against you? What the Rebellion is doing with the news of your desertion? We need to know where it's safe for us to go."

"And just where are we going to do all of this?"

Kaila rose from her seat, leaving her empty plate. She took a sip of her caf as she walked back towards the cockpit. "Hopefully, you haven't made her too angry."

* * *

 

"Takodana," Ben said as the Ghost began its landing sequence onto the rubble-ridden platform.

Kaila leaned over and flipped switches. "Yeah. There's no better place in the galaxy for us to lay low, supply the ship, find out what we need to know and maybe make a deal with some low lives for the munitions your boys confiscated from me."

"The last time I was on Takodana, I bombed the oldest castle on the planet."

"I heard." Kaila finished the landing sequence, the ship landing with just a small jolt. She turned to Ben and gave him a tight smile. "Probably wise for you to not do that this time. You also might want to apologize."

"Maybe it's wiser to go somewhere else." Memories of the last time he had been on the planet came flooding back to him. The first time he laid eyes on Rey had been on that planet.

"Where do you suggest?" Kaila asked. "Takodana has been a neutral world for hundreds of years. After your troops thrashed it, they don't see it as a threat. Besides, we really need to fuel up."

She slipped out of her chair and stood, stretching. Her brown leather clothing rippled. She pointed to Ben's black robes. "If we're going to be going under the radar, those clothes really aren't going to work?"

Ben looked down at himself. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Kaila rolled her eyes. "You look like a Sith Lord."

Ben looked away, gesturing towards Kaila. "You don't exactly seem to be dressed for covertness."

Kaila looked down at herself. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Ben glanced over at Kaila's bare green stomach. "You draw attention."

Kaila snapped her fingers so Ben looked up at her. "You would be surprised at how covert looking good is. I get into some trouble... Witnesses need to be asked...." She gestured downwards towards her bust. "About half can't describe what my face looks like."

Ben glanced at Kaila's bosom, blushed and looked away quickly. "You're shameless."

"I take advantage of what I have. Twi'lek women are written off as mindless sex objects. Humans-- especially human males-- are pretty disgusting that way. All good looking, green-skinned aliens look the same to them."

"All I have are robes," Ben pointed out. "Your clothes would probably just draw more attention to me."

Kaila strode out of the cockpit. She came back a few minutes later, carrying a pile of clothes. "My last boyfriend left these here. He was about your size. You'll fit right in." She thrust the clothes into Ben's hands.

Ben picked up the black vest on the top of the pile. He shook his head. "I can't wear these."

"It's either that or get sent back to the First Order," Kaila pointed out. "You're a recognizable guy. You led the First Order, have a huge facial scar and are wanted for two million credits... We can't do anything about those, but we can at least change your clothes."

Scowling, Ben headed back to his quarters. He stripped out of his robes and stood in the middle of the room, just in his undergarments. He looked over the clothes. They were simple Corellian wear: white shirt, black vest, blue pants. A red stripe ran up the sides of the pants. Kaila's former boyfriend had been military.

When Ben was young, he asked his father if he could dress like him. He had wanted to wear a bloodstripe. Han had explained to him how wearing a bloodstripe without earning it was dangerous. If you were discovered doing so, you could be killed.

Ben pulled on the pants. He had a death warrant anyway. A sartorial mistake was hardly the worst thing he had done. Once he was finished donning the clothes, he glanced in the small mirror mounted to the wall and sighed.

He looked like his father.

Ben noticed a small tie on the table and picked it up, using it to tie back his hair. With the exception of his scar, he looked like a different person.

A different person. Not Kylo Ren.

He was Ben Solo.

He stepped out of the quarters, walking down the corridor to the ramp. Kaila had put it down. She looked over at him. "Hey, look at that! It suits you."

Ben adjusted his vest, longing for the comfortable familiarity of his black robes. "Maybe I should stay on the ship."

"Just keep your head down and if there's any trouble..." Kaila sighed, rolling her eyes. "I can't believe I have to say this, but _don't_ kill anyone. If worse comes to worse, use Force persuasion."

Ignoring his bad feeling, Ben followed after Kaila out of the ship into the ruins around Nymeve Lake. Despite the carnage, the area seemed to be recovering. Makeshift tents were set up, traders dealing out of them. Ben looked down, covering his face with his hand. He was sure there were plenty of degenerates who would have turned him over to the First Order for a half credit, let alone two million.

Ben felt the Force. It was growing the closer and closer he and Kaila got to the largest of the tents. He reached out and grabbed Kaila by her long, brown coat. "We have enough fuel to go somewhere else."

"Just relax, Ben," Kaila tried to pry Ben's fingers off of her clothes.

"We can at least go to another town," Ben suggested. "Somewhere a bit less... Destroyed."

Kaila pulled back the flap of the tent of Ben was hit with the full power that was emating. It was like nothing he'd felt before. There were many creatures milling around. But that wasn't what Ben was focusing on. It was the power.

It was coming from one specific spot. It was very small.

A hand raised, waving dismissively at the surrounding creatures. "Out. Everyone."

Everyone quickly scattered. Ben watched the rush out the front of the tent. When he looked back, Kaila had moved out of the way.

He was exposed. He was open.

She was so tiny, her skin a burnt orange. She leaned in towards him. "Kylo Ren isn't welcome here."

Kaila stepped toward. "Maz, it's complica--"

The small creature-- Maz-- pinched fingers and thumb together, gesturing for Kaila to shut up. She got up and walked straight to Ben. She grabbed him by the vest, tugging him down with surprising strength. Ben allowed her, kneeling down in front of her. Maz adjusted her goggles, making her black eyes look huge behind the glass.

"Kylo Ren isn't welcome here... But you're not Kylo Ren, are you?"

Ben opened his mouth, unsure how to respond to that.

"Oh boy... You've made some mistakes, haven't you?" She cocked her head. "What happened here is barely anything compared to the devastation in your heart."

Ben still couldn't find the words to respond to Maz. She didn't seem bothered by this, turning to Kaila. "You know the rules. You can stay here one night free. After that you'll have to earn your keep." Her knowing gaze focused on Ben once again. "And there is much he can pay for."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to dietplainlite for the headcanon on Kylo Ren's eating habits. As soon as she mentioned it, I knew it was true in my head too.


	4. Takodana: Rebuilding

Takodana was a beautiful planet. Ben had never taken much time to appreciate such things since he'd gone to Snoke. In fact, he'd done his best to ignore such things as beauty.

That had changed the moment he'd set eyes on the scavenger girl trying to fire laser bolts at him. All of the walls he had built up around the things Ben Solo had appreciated and Kylo Ren wasn't supposed to slowly began to crumble.

Not only was Takodana beautiful, it was powerful. Ben couldn't believe he hadn't noticed the power emanating from the planet when he had been there last. True, he had been incredibly busy, but such an overwhelming strength should have stood out to him. It was not just Maz Kanata. She was strong in the Force without a doubt, but the planet itself exuded energy.

They had been on the planet for three days. They were supplied enough they could have moved on, but Kaila didn't seem in a rush to leave and Ben wasn't rushed to prod her along. No one had come looking for them there yet. The energy of the planet seemed to calm Ben. There was no better sign of that then the fact he'd been thinking of himself as Ben almost exclusively since they landed.

He was in the forest. Where he and Rey had first met. The trees were scarred with laser bolts. He knelt down on the ground and touched a boot print in the dirt. They were so small. He remembered passing his hand over Rey's face, making her faint into his arms.

"Rey...." He called out, his voice low and rough.

There was no response. He sighed deeply.

"Tell my mother something."

There was a tug at his heart and he blinked. There was Rey, standing in front of him. Ben felt his breath catch as he looked at her. Her hair was tied back in a simple, singular bun. She was dressed like she had been on _Supremacy_ , but lacking the gauzy fabric. It was more utilitarian that before. Even if she hadn't changed her dress, he could see it in her face. She had hardened.

Rey may have looked upset at his presence, but she had still engaged their bond. "You need to stop doing...." She blinked, cocking her head at him. Her gaze drifted over him. He hadn't seen her look so taken aback by his appearance since they'd bonded while he was in the midst of undressing.

Ben tugged at his vest. Even though he had opportunity to find other clothes in Takodana, he hadn't bothered. His hand then drifted up to his face, rubbing at the scruff that had developed on his chin. "It's different."

Rey nodded. "Yes." She averted her eyes. "What do you want? It can't be just to show me..." She waved her hand at him. "This."

"My mother." Ben felt the lump in his throat. "Can you tell her... She should know... I wasn't the one who shot the bridge."

Rey looked up. "What?"

"I felt her. When my team was attacking her ship. I was going to shoot, but I felt her... And I... Didn't. But then my wingman shot. I thought she was dead, but I heard she's alive. I _need_ her to know it _wasn't me_."

Rey blinked. Once. Twice. "Do you really think it matters?"

"Of course it does!" Ben cried.

"You sent your wingman there," Rey explained. "And all of the others. You didn't fire, but you were the reason the person who did was there."

Ben looked down. Rey was right. Of course she was right. He might as well have done it. "I just..."

"I'll tell her," Rey said softly. "I think she'd like to know." There was a moment's pause. "It's true, isn't it? The rumors. You've left the First Order."

Ben didn't reply. He didn't look back up. He didn't want to look into Rey's soft brown eyes. "The First Order will be focusing on me, but they were going to put a bounty on you too. They may have done it already."

"Where are you?" Rey asked. "Come here. Tell your mother yourself. If you've left..."

"It doesn't mean I've left to join yo-- the Resistance," Ben insisted. He shook his head, staring down at the boot prints they had left not all that long ago. "I can't go back. It's too late."

"I thought that too," Rey replied. "But if you're doing this. If you've left... If you care what your mother thinks of you... It can't be."

"Tell her I'm glad she's not dead," Ben murmured. With that, he closed off the Force Bond.

He hadn't closed it off himself before. Had Rey felt that sick feeling when she'd done it? Like intentionally severing a limb?

He kicked away the boot prints with his foot and started to walk back to Maz's wrecked castle.

Kaila was standing amongst the rubble. Her hands were outstretched and her lekku twitched slightly. Rocks were floating up around her, pushing back into place.

Ben stood back and just watched as Kaila carefully reconstructed the castle using the Force. Bit by bit, pieces were put back into place. He could see her body tense as she strained, the cracks in the rock reforming.

"She was on Lothal when this happened."

Ben looked down at Maz. He was normally so aware of his surroundings it was difficult for someone to sneak up on him, but Maz had been remarkably stealthy. "She had no part in this destruction. But she tries to repair it."

Ben wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Did Maz want him to say he was sorry? If he started doing that, he wouldn't be able to stop. Besides, most of what he had done as Kylo Ren was far beyond any sort of apology.

"Do you know why she fixes this place?"

"Because that's what good people do," Ben finally managed to find his voice. "Kaila is a good person. She doesn't want you to be without a home."

"Oh child, if I want to leave, I could. I have other worlds, other castles. She fixes it out of respect. Before the First Order and the Resistance... Before the Empire and the Rebellion... Before the Republic... Before even me... A great battle happened here. The Jedi and the Sith fought. That power scarred this planet. This castle was built as a monument to that battle."

Ben arched a brow. "And you turned it into a den of thieves and rogues."

"Better than turning it into rubble," Maz shot back. "She sees what it was. And knows no matter how much it has fallen, there is still value in it. It may seem too hard, too much trouble... But it is _worth saving_."

Ben looked back at Kaila. He then looked to Maz. He heard a noise of distress from Kaila. She was shaking and the rocks were starting to falter. He raced forward and grabbed her wrist, closing his eyes and reaching out with the Force.

He could feel every molecule of the rocks. Lifting them up and letting the Force guide them into place, knitting them back together. He let out a shaking breath with the strain.

"What are you doing?" He could barely hear Kaila's question.

"Take a break." Ben released her wrist and reached out. "I can handle this."

He remembered his very first lesson with his uncle. It must have been nearly twenty years ago. Luke had him lifting pebbles. Of course, Ben had already been moving many things with his mind before that. Luke had told him to feel everything. The Force flowed through everything.

He cringed as he saw the blaster bolts cutting through the rock, the ships crashing into the castle. He saw Rey terrified as her attacker-- him-- reached out a black gloved hand to her. He reached further still, seeing the Jedi fighting the Sith. He saw a woman with rusty brown hair and fierce blue-green eyes. She was leading the charge into battle. He saw a lightsaber in a box, a delicate hand reaching towards it.

_These are your first steps..._

"Ben! _BEN!_ "

Ben blinked opened his eyes. He looked down at Kaila. "What's wrong?"

Kaila was wide-eyed. "You're kidding right?"

"What's going on?"

Kaila pointed towards the castle. Ben looked to it and saw how much progress they'd made. Maz might even be able to stay within it. "What's wrong with that?"

"You've been working on it for three hours. You haven't _moved_."

"Oh." Ben suddenly noticed how weary he felt. His limbs were aching. "I lost track of time."

"I've been calling your name for an hour. I was about to smack you." Kaila shook her head. "You don't have to do this all now."

Ben nodded and took a step. His feet faltered and Kaila caught him. She squeaked. "Kriff, you're built like a Bantha! Don't work yourself to exhaustion. I can barely carry you without the Force. You're not seven anymore."

Ben pushed himself away, standing up straight. "I was just a bit tired."

"Not surprising." Kaila led him back towards the Ghost. "Come on, not only is Maz letting us stay another night, she arranged for some dinner to be brought to the ship. A little thank you for what you just did."

"You're the one who started it." Ben dragged himself into the ship. He collapsed onto the seats in the lounge. Kylo was ashamed at how tired he felt. Snoke would have lambasted him for his weakness.

Kaila hopped onto the seat next to him. "But you really did a lot. That's really something, Ben. You should be proud."

"It wouldn't have to be fixed if I hadn't destroyed it," Ben pointed out.

"Yeah, well... You're fixing it now. You can't dwell. Otherwise, you won't be able to move forward."

"She's right, you know." Maz stepped in carrying a dish. "What is it you told Rey? Let the past die?"

Kylo jumped to his feet. "How do you know that?" He reached for his lightsaber, ready to wield it at the tiny woman

"You're not the only one who speaks to Rey," Maz strode in. "You've got her very turned around. She's so confused about you. If only she knew how confused you were about yourself."

Ben let go of the hilt of his lightsaber when the scent of the food hit his nose. He ignored the comment about Rey, focusing on the aroma. "That's stewed kebroot."

Maz pushed past him, walking to the galley. "It is."

Ben followed after her. "That's my mother's favorite."

"Yours too, if Kaila is to be believed."

Ben looked back at Kaila, who was slinking in behind him. He was surprised she remembered... Or even cared. "I haven't had it in years. Not since before I went off with..."

"Your uncle," Kaila finished. "I thought so. Considering how you went on about protein paste. I thought it might be good for you to remember what actual food tastes like."

Ben closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the food. That aroma took him back to his parents' apartment. Sitting with them and eating together. His parents were so busy, but they tried to find the time to eat together at least once a week. His father learned to cook stewed kebroot for his mother's birthday and their anniversary.

"Ben?" Kaila's voice broke through his thoughts.

Ben opened his eyes. He hadn't allowed himself to think about that in years.

Maz nodded at him knowingly. "When you let go of the past, you let go of the _bad_ of the past. But use the good to move you forward."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a big EU nerd, so I threw in a tiny reference to Nomi Sunrider. There's no date for the Battle of Takodana and since Nomi hasn't been recanonized yet, I thought I could have her there. I'm going to throw in more EU references, because like I said... EU nerd.


	5. Takodana: Advice

Ben watched as Kaila turned over in her bunk. He leaned on his hands, sitting in the chair across from her.

Kaila's eyes suddenly snapped open. She jolted upright. "Ben, what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." He leaned in closer. He noticed her lekku moving. He peered over her shoulder and scowled. "That's rude."

Kaila groaned. "You still remember Twi'leki." She scrubbed her face with her hands. "You would think with your history, you would understand people not wanting to wake up with someone hanging over them."

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be." Kaila sighed. "What's going on?"

"I was thinking. About what Rey said to me." His conversation with her through the Force Bond had been weighing heavily on him. Not only had they spoken about troubling things, but just the fact that she was willing to talk to him. What did that mean? Did she really mean it when she said she wanted him to come to her?

Kaila sniffed and rubbed her forehead. "You woke me up for advice about your girlfriend?"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Ben insisted.

"Well, the last time you woke me up in the middle of the night it was to talk about that Hapan girl you were sweet on." Kaila still looked weary. "Besides, if you're thinking about a conversation you had a month ago..."

Ben shook his head. "No. We spoke yesterday."

" _What_?" Kaila jumped out of her bunk. "Ben, you contacted the Rebellion _yesterday_? We have to be careful about communication. We don't know what channels the First Order is listening in on. We have codes and subwave frequencies..." She shook her head slowly. "None of which you should know. _How_ did you contact Rey?"

"Not... Through communications relays," Ben admitted. He hadn't told anyone about his Force Bond with Rey. How many people had Rey told? It felt wrong to tell anyone about it. Dirty. Snoke had known because he'd created it and Luke had known because he'd seen them together, but they were dead.

But he'd asked Kaila for her advice. "Rey and I can... There's a thing... Snoke created it. We can talk. See each other. Like we're in the same room together and there's nothing else but us."

"A Force Bond."

Ben felt the heat rise in his cheeks and looked down. He was right. It felt dirty to be talking about it. "You could call it that."

Kaila sat back down on the edge of her bunk. "You say she's not your girlfriend... But you have a powerful Force Bond with her. Powerful enough that you can have conversations and see each other no matter how far away you are from each other?"

Ben nodded.

Kaila shoulders slumped and she looked up at the ceiling. "I'm stuck with the stupidest genocidal maniac in the galaxy."

Kylo growled, raising his hand. The urge to crush her windpipe was strong. He just needed to reach out with the Force. "I've killed people for less."

Kaila glared back at him, fire in her blue eyes. "And I'm betting you didn't come to their bunk at 0300 to talk about girl problems. The rest of the galaxy might be shaking with fear over the great and terrifying Kylo Ren, but do you know what I see?" She pointed at him. "The same shab who tried to act tough, but was really just a skinny little kid who couldn't say two words to a girl he liked." She cocked her head as she looked him over, scratching her lekku. "Just more muscular now. _A lot_ more muscular, actually. Is that all you did while you were with the First Order? Just lift weights?"

Ben slumped down in his chair. "Why do you do this?"

"I can appreciate a good fitness regime," Kaila shrugged.

"No. Talk to me like this." Kaila's lekku moved. He remembered clearly what she was signing. He shook his head. "I'm not your little brother anymore."

"You don't choose family," Kaila insisted. "Family chooses you. Even if they try to take over the galaxy. It doesn't change who you are to me. Or to your parents. Or to this Rey. The Force binds everyone together, but it binds some people closer. I called you stupid because you actually believe Snoke created the Force Bond between you and Rey. He didn't. Maybe he manipulated it... But you can't create a Force Bond. It happens because the Force wills it. Parent and child. Siblings. Master and Padawan. And... If the Force has joined you and Rey... And so powerfully..."

"You really think I'm in love with her?" Ben asked quietly.

"I knew you were in love with her even before you mentioned your bond. A man doesn't bisect his master over a woman he only have lukewarm feelings for." She smiled softly. "And a woman doesn't deliver herself into the stronghold of her enemy to save the soul of a man she doesn't care aboutn."

Ben's breath caught in his throat. "You really think that?"

"I know you like to pretend I'm a sexless blob, but I do understand women. If she didn't care about you, she'd shut you out."

"She asked me to come to her... Come to the Resistance." Ben wrung his hands. "I told her no."

"That's for the best."

Ben looked up. "You were ready to deliver me to them."

Kaila sighed. "That was when I was trying to get rid of you. Before I was willing to admit what you need. You can't go back just for her. Love is the most powerful thing in the galaxy... But it doesn't erase everything you've done. It doesn't magically make you the person you need to be. And I think you know that. That's why you said no. You want to be worthy of her love."

Ben reached a trembling hand up to his cheek, brushing his fingers over his face. Why were they damp? "How am I supposed to do that?"

"I don't know." Kaila smiled. "But I look forward to seeing it, Little Brother."

 

* * *

 

Ben knew he'd been deep in the Force again. It was easy for him to lose track of the world around him. He knew the name of the woman he'd seen in his vision: Nomi Sunrider. He also knew the person she'd faced in battle: Ulic Qel-Droma. He had been a Jedi who joined the Sith. Before his fall, they had been lovers.

It was obvious why the Force had shown him the vision. It wasn't just because he was at this place. The Force was showing him another Jedi who had fallen. And if Ben remembered his history and it wasn't just wishful thinking, a Jedi who returned to the light after his fall.

When Ben finally opened his eyes and looked at the castle, he smiled. It was still broken down, but every day Maz's castle looked more and more as it had before he'd launched his assault on it.

He rose on slightly shaking feet to walk back towards the _Ghost_. He stopped short when he noticed it was no longer on the landing platform. He looked around frantically, feeling a mixture of confusion and betrayal bubbling up inside of him.

"She told me to tell you she'll be back tomorrow," Maz said behind him. "She didn't want to bother you while you were in your trance."

"Where has she gone?" Ben demanded.

"She has responsibilities. Ones she is putting aside for _you_. The least you can do is allow her to fulfill already made promises." Maz grabbed Ben by the bottom of his vest. "Come with me."

Ben allowed Maz to pull him back towards the castle. "Where are we going?"

"You'll stay with me tonight. You've done enough work I can stay in my home." Maz raised her hands as they approached the large doors and they opened to her will.

The bar was empty, but it was mostly repaired. Ben had been focusing on the outside structure. Either Maz or Kaila must have done the inside. "Are you a Jedi, Maz?"

Maz let go of Ben's vest and waved her hand dismissively. She patted the stool by the bar and walked behind it. "There were many types of Force users in the galaxy at one time. Master Yoda tried to convince me to follow the ways of the Jedi... But I was never much for rules." She grabbed a bottle behind the bar and two glasses. She set one in front of Ben and poured some of the amber liquid from the bottle in.

Ben just stared at the drink, his brow furrowed.

"Well?"

Ben shook his head. "I don't drink."

"Are you sure you're Han Solo's son?"

"No one in the galaxy will let me forget it." Ben picked up the glass and sniffed it. He wrinkled his his nose and took a drink. He immediately spat it out.

Maz shook her head, tsking softly.

Ben blushed and stared down into the glass. He was quietly for a long time, just idly turning the glass with his hand. Finally, he spoke. "You know a lot about Jedi history, don't you?"

"I know a lot about a lot of history."

Ben cleared his throat. "Do you know about Ulic Qel-Droma?"

Maz moved her goggles away from her eyes. "It would show you him, wouldn't it?"

"So you know about him?"

Maz nodded. "I do."

Ben took another sip of his drink. This time, he was able to keep it down. "What can you tell me?"

Maz peered over the bar at the lightsaber on Ben's hip. "Your lightsaber. The crystal is cracked. How did that happen?"

Ben clutched at the hilt of his lightsaber.

"It's the same lightsaber, isn't it? The one you built when you were your Uncle's apprentice?"

Ben's fingers tightened further. He nodded his head.

"Bleeding a crystal is dangerous. It can drive a person mad. The crystal can try to destroy itself rather than turn to the dark."

Ben's hand started to shake. His fingers barely grazed the cracked crystal of his lightsaber. It was warm to the touch. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Every day, you repair this castle. You stitch the rocks back together like they were never broken. But you leave that lightsaber like that."

Ben looked down at his lightsaber. "A kyber crystal isn't the same thing as the rock in this place."

"I supposed it's not. The rock here doesn't mean anything. That--" Maz nodded towards Ben's lightsaber. "Means something much deeper. You know the Guardians of the Whills used to have a saying: The strongest stars have hearts of kyber."

Ben swallowed hard.

"They translated from the ancient texts incorrectly... It's supposed to say that the strongest _souls_ have hearts of kyber."

 

* * *

 

Kaila beamed as she stepped off the ramp of the Ghost and looked at Poe Dameron. "Look at you, Commander. So is it a promotion, a repromotion or an un-demotion?"

"Glad there's still someone out there helping us," Poe sighed. "You're later than we thought. Hope you didn't get into too much trouble."

"You would be surprised." Kaila walked alongside Poe towards the base. "Is there someone who can unload the cargo? I need to see the General and I can't stay long."

"Are you sure you can't stay? We could really use your help."

"You're getting help. Just... Not the way you expect it." She smiled at him. "Besides, you hardly need my help. I heard what you did to that dreadnaught. By the Force, I could kiss you on the mouth."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Poe leered at her. "You still with what's his name? Dummy Fel?"

" _Doman_ Fel. We broke up right after I saw you last. I'm surprised you're not with the stormtrooper yet." Kaila stopped in front of the door to the base and turned to face Poe. "You seemed pretty smitten with him the last time I was dropping off cargo. And who can resist the great Poe Dameron?"

"Apparently a stormtrooper. He's not interested in me like that. He's been getting cosy with one of our technicians." Poe leaned in. "Maybe you can mend my broken heart."

"Told you... I can't stay long." She grinned. "I could tell Doman to call you. I know you like to make fun of him, but you'd actually really like him if you met him."

Poe cocked his head. "Come on, it's been tense lately. I could really use some time to unwind. You're saying you don't?"

Kaila laughed. "Oh, you don't even _know_. Tell you what... Next time I make a drop, if you haven't charmed your way into some lieutenant's arms, I'll make sure I can stick around for a little while."

"I'll hold you to that."

"You better. Now go unload my cargo."

"I outrank you."

"And still you'll do it anyway."

Poe scowled. "Are you using Jedi powers on me?"

Kaila shook her head. "No, the power of promising to soothe your libido."

Poe rolled his eyes and nodded. "Just this once. Only because I've never seen anyone so keen to tell the General why they're late."

He opened the door to the base. Kaila walked down the corridor. She'd only been to the base once before, since the Rebellion had resettled on Cataalda shortly after the Battle of Crait. She knew there was only one place General Organa would be. It was the place she spent most of her waking hours.

There was only one other person in the War Room. She was a small slip of a girl, with dark brown hair tied back in a severe bun. Kaila took a sharp intake of breath at her presence. She had no idea who this girl was, but Kaila _knew_.

"I'm surprised Commander Dameron didn't keep you occupied for longer," Leia said without even turning around.

"Not for lack of trying. It's good to see you again, General."

Leia turned around. "Captain, this is..."

"I know who she is." Kaila nodded. "Hello Rey."

Rey's mouth gaped open, her eyes widening.

"Rey, I've told you about Kaila Syndulla. If the Jedi are to reform, you two need to talk." Leia touched Kaila's arm to lead her to Rey.

Kaila shook her head, holding back. "I'm afraid I can't do that right now. I wish you all the luck in the galaxy in reforming the Jedi. I'll help you where I can. With his isolation, there are more of us than Master Skywalker was aware. Hopefully, Master Bridger is..." She looked to Leia.

"I received their weekly communication yesterday. Nothing more than the code to tell me they're still alive, but... They're still out there. I wish they'd finish with Thrawn. We really need them."

Kaila looked down, unable to meet Leia's eyes. "I thought I would build up to this a bit more before... But I suppose now is as good a time as any. Rey, what you're doing is admirable, but I can't help right now. I've taken a Padawan."

"You could train a Padawan _with_ Rey," Leia pointed out. "Master Bridger trained alongside Luke for years. I know they had a misunderstanding, but we _need_ to stick together."

Kaila shook her head. "In this case, I don't think that's appropriate."

"Why not?"

"It's _Ben_ , Leia." Kaila finally looked up and met Leia's heartbroken gaze. She sighed. "It's why I'm late with the shipment. I was boarded by the _Finalizer_. I was there when Ben defected. I helped him leave. And now I'm helping him... Find himself."

Leia stumbled backwards until she found a seat. She lowered herself into it. "I thought the bounty... What Ben said to Rey... I thought it might all be a trick."

"It's not." Kaila looked over at Rey. Her own face was marred by heartbreak, but different than Leia's. Kaila shook her head sadly. "He couldn't come to you. Not with this."

"Why not?"

"Because you make him feel too much."

Leia now looked at Rey. The girl's face had gone red. Leia blinked. "You told me about the Bond. Why didn't you tell me..."

"I didn't think there was anything to say." Her voice was very quiet.

"But there is?"

"I don't know." Rey looked down.

"Ben's really not sure either. Not entirely." Kaila sighed. "And uncertainty is dangerous. So is pulling someone from the Dark Side. If you're looking for other Force Sensitives, he _can't_ be around them. You'll help, both of you... More than you know. But he can't be here." She rubbed her throat, remembering her first encounter with Kylo Ren. "He's not safe yet."

Leia stood up. "You can't do this alone."

Kaila shook her head. "I'm not."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've altered the history of Nomi Sunrider and Ulic Qel-Droma to suit my needs. Or Ben's needs in this case. And every other EU element that is brought into the new canon is altered a bit. So I'm cool with it.


	6. Takodana: Choices

Kaila stared down at the tall, muscular body lying in the foetal position on the floor of Maz's bar. She then looked to Maz. "You got the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the head of the Knight's of Ren, the fearsome Jedi Killer... Drunk out of his mind."

"He was a lightweight." Maz waved her hand dismissively.

Kaila crouched down beside Ben. "Ben... Hey Ben."

Ben opened his eyes blearily.

"Wakey wakey," Kaila kept her voice low. "How are you feeling?"

Ben stuck his tongue out, gagging. "Like I swallowed nerf fur." He grabbed his forehead, grimacing.

Kaila helped him sit up. "Maz, why did you let him do this to himself?"

"He might not be a Jedi, but he's a Force User, isn't he?" Maz strode back towards the bar. "He should have been able to use the Force to stop himself from getting drunk."

" _Now_ you tell me?" Ben growled before cringing again and crumpling in on himself. He groaned. "I was exhausted from fixing up _your_ castle."

"That _you_ wrecked. Besides, you're half Corellian! I didn't even know Corellians could get drunk." Maz shook her head. She began to clean up the bar, muttering to herself. "You come in here getting mad at me, but I'm the one who had to listen to him all night talking about the girl. Some of the worst poetry I've ever heard..."

Ben groaned and began to heave. Kaila lugged him up, bearing nearly his full weight. She swore under her breath, leading him towards the fresher. She helped him lean over the waste disposal unit. Her lekku twitched as he began to vomit. "I can't believe I gave up a night in Poe's bunk for this."

Ben sat up, wiping his mouth. "What was that?"

"Nothing." Kaila shook her head. She tousled Ben's hair. "I'm starting to understand why the Council frowned on Padawans drinking."

Ben glowered, smoothing down his hair. "I'm not a Padawan."

Kaila sighed. "Hangovers are awful, but it's good for you to get over it naturally. Teach you not to do it again. At least that's what Ezra always used to tell me."

"Did it work?"

Kaila shook her head. "Not really."

Ben gagged again. "Why my parents trusted me to you I'll never understand..."

"You were always glad they did." She cringed when Ben began to throw up again. "I'll be right back."

She ran out of the fresher, going back to the bar. She leaned over and grabbed a glass. She glared at Maz.

"What?" Maz asked accusingly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I was gone less than a day and this happened. Did you really think something to loosen the inhibitions of a Dark Sider attempting to redeem himself was a good idea?"

Maz waved Kaila away. "The world still spins and this castle still stands, thanks to that boy's efforts. Don't give me trouble just because you've decided you're not done babysitting him."

Kaila scowled and turned away, jogging back to the fresher. She walked in, grimacing. "You're going to feel pretty bad this morning. But I'd resist the urge to purge it with the Force." She got water from the sink and handed it to Ben.

Ben took it. "Why is that?"

"It builds character."

Ben took a sip of water. "Where did you go?"

"I told you... I was making a delivery to the Rebellion. But then your Star Destroyer boarded me. Maz has been helping me get the supplies your friends confiscated. The Rebellion really needed them. I was already late."

"You could have told me," Ben groused. He took another gulp of water.

"I'm not going to leave you," Kaila assured him. "I just thought it was better I go without telling you... So you didn't come with..."

"Why shouldn't I come with?" Ben groaned and leaned against the wall, eyes closed.

"She's pretty. And powerful. I can see why you like her."

Ben opened his eyes. "Rey?"

Kaila nodded. "I spoke to her and your mother. About you. About what we're doing. Not all the details... The less people who know the better. But the basics."

"What are the basics?" Ben asked.

"I've taken you as my Padawan learner."

"I don't need to be a Padawan." Ben groaned and let his head loll. "I went through training already."

Kaila leaned in to him. "You've spent years being corrupted. You need to relearn everything. As far as I can tell, there are about three people in the galaxy who could teach you. One of them is Force knows where, fighting a maniac... One of them is utterly enamoured with you and thus not really appropriate to train you... And then there's me."

"What if I don't want to be a Jedi?" Ben asked.

"You don't have to." Kaila sighed. "But don't you?"

Ben met Kaila's gaze. "I don't know what I want. Even you--" he pointed at her. "Standing there. Half the time I want to crush your windpipe just to get rid of the reminder of who I was."

"And the other half?"

"I don't understand. Why you would want to train me. Why Rey spends a moment of time thinking about me. Everything I've done... I killed my father. I've driven the Jedi to the point of extinction. I've massacred villages. I helped destroyed a Star System. I don't deserve mercy or friendship or love. I deserve to die."

"That would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?" Kaila stood up.

Ben raised his head. "What?" His eyes widened.

Kaila took her lightsaber in her hand. She ignited it and pointed it at Ben. "If I were to bring this lightsaber down on you... You wouldn't have to worry anymore. There wouldn't be any conflict. You wouldn't have to face everything you've done. You wouldn't have to make up for it. There would be no hard work putting things back together. It would be dark, cold, empty and _over_. Dying is _easy_. It's the coward's way out."

She turned off the lightsaber. "That girl believes in you. She has given you the most precious thing she has: her heart. And you want to abandon her because you're feeling guilty about what you've done? Haven't you gotten angry at everyone you feel has abandoned you? And you want to do that to the woman you love?"

Ben rose to his feet. "I didn't say I was doing it!"

"Well stop _thinking_ it!" Kaila demanded. "This is where things get real, Ben. I'm not here right now as your babysitter or someone you kidnapped or even your 'big sister'. I'm here as a Jedi Knight. I'm offering to help you. To train you. To get that garbage Snoke filled you up with out of your head. You have three choices: One... You study as my Padawan and relearn the ways of the light side. Two... You stumble around the galaxy until you kill yourself or someone else. Three... You end it right now just to get it over it. So what do you choose?"

Ben closed his eyes and sighed. "It's not going to be easy to get rid of Kylo Ren."

"I told you... Dying's the easy choice." Kaila cocked her head towards the door. "Go back to the Ghost to sleep off your hangover. After that... We begin."

* * *

 

"So I'm going to have to catch a transport to Coruscant." Finn leaned over the mess hall table, whispering to Rey and Rose. "There's still a lot of anti-Imperial sentiment there and the First Order is the same thing, new name. The General thinks we can increase the ranks or at least stir up some sympathetic ties. Of course, that means I'm going to be away." He turned to look at Rose. "I know you're going to miss me, but you have to promise not to electrocute me to stop me from going away."

Rose smiled and rolled her eyes. "That joke never gets old, _Lieutenant_."

"I just know how distraught you get when I go away. But we've pledged ourselves to something greater than ourselves." Finn turned to Rey. "So since I'm going to Coruscant, I thought maybe instead of any old transport, we could go on the Falcon. It might be a good place for you to look for Force Sensitives. It's one of the most populated planets in the galaxy."

Rey looked over her shoulder, eyeing Poe as he headed out of mess along with Snap.

"Rey?"

"Huh?" Rey looked back. "What was that?"

"Coruscant." Finn repeated. "Recruitment mission. Are you in?"

"Oh." Rey shook her head. "Yeah, I'll think about it. I'll be right back. I need to... It's not a big deal. I just need to..."

"Rey, it's all right. I get it." Finn sighed.

Rey blinked. "Get what?"

"You don't have to be uncomfortable about it. Yes, I kind of... Was interested. But obviously there are things happening here." Finn gestured between himself and Rose. "So you don't need to be weird and awkward if you want to ask Poe out."

"I want to _what_?" Rey blinked again. "What makes you think that?"

"You've been looking at him all through dinner. And he's a very handsome man. Rose, isn't he a very handsome man?"

Rose nodded. "Very handsome."

"Charming too." Finn continued. "Not to mention brave and talented."

Rose frowned. "I'm starting to think you want to date him."

"If I was interested in guys, I would be _lucky_ to have him." Finn said, wrapping an arm around Rose. "But as it is, I give you my blessing. Go to him, Rey."

Rey rose from her seat. "Thank you for the support, but that's not what I'm doing. It's... Jedi business."

"With Poe?" Finn frowned. "What kind of Jedi business could you have with Poe?"

"Don't worry about it." Rey felt her stomach sinking as she walked away from the table. She felt guilty not telling Finn and Rose more information. She'd kept everything about Ben so close to the chest. She's opened up to Maz about him, but that felt safe. She was so far away and didn't judge. She had been the one to put Rey on her path. The was a path that led to Ben.

Even her talk with Leia had been very brief. She stuck to the facts. She didn't want to complicate it with her confused emotions. Of course, now those confused emotions were out in the open, thanks to Kaila Syndulla.

Rey wasn't sure what to make of the other Jedi. Part of her was intrigued to know there was someone else out there. But Syndulla's hesitance to work with Rey-- and her newly revealed proximity to Ben-- filled Rey with anxiety.

"Poe!" Rey ran up to him. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure," Poe replied. He turned to Snap. "I'll catch up with you later. We've still got a lot of work to do on the new ships."

Snap nodded and walked off. Poe turned his attention back to Rey. "What's going on?"

"I just wanted to ask you about Kaila Syndulla."

" _Why_?" Poe asked a little too quickly, a bit anxiously. "What have you heard?"

Rey blinked. "It's just she's a Jedi Knight. And there's not really a lot of us. Really, she's the only one I've heard of other than Master Bridger." She spoke slowly, uncertain about where she was going. "And well... I know you know her. I just wanted to ask if she was..." Asking if she was 'good' probably wasn't the best question. "I wanted to know what she was like."

Poe ruffled his hair. "She's flown for the Resistance for years, but prefers to stay on the outskirts. But she's good people. I've known her since we were kids. I mean, I know she's been hesitant to work with you, but after everything that happened, that's kind of to be expected. The only Jedi who survived the massacre at Master Skywalker's temple were the ones who left with Master Bridger. The Knights of Ren found and executed most of them. Master Bridger and Kai only survived because he trained during the time of the Empire. He was good at keeping a low profile. And reforming the Jedi with you doesn't seem very low profile."

Rey frowned. Most of what Poe was telling her she had been told by Leia already. It wasn't really what she was looking for. "You've known her since you were kids?"

Poe nodded. "Yeah. After my mom died, my dad started to reconnect with some of his old Rebel friends. They would bring their kids. General Syndulla and him bonded a lot. Kai's dad was killed in the Battle of Lothal, so they kind of understood each other. So I hung out with Kai and Jacen. You really don't have to worry. I mean, if you want me to convince her to work with you..." He smiled. "I  _ might _ have some sway."

Rey was intrigued by something Poe had said, but it was quickly moving away from her initial line of questioning. "So your dad saw a lot of Rebel heroes when you were a kid. And you knew their kids..."

Poe nodded. "Yeah. Reb kids kind of had a special bond."

"Did you know Ben Solo?"

Poe's face went ashen. He grabbed Rey by the arm and pulled her into a corner. He leaned in very close. "Why are you asking me that?"

"What?" Rey swallowed hard. "It was just a question."

"You shouldn't ask about Ben Solo," Poe's voice was harder than Rey had ever heard it before. "Forget that name even exists."

Rey blinked up at Poe's furious face. "You _know_."

Poe released Rey's arm. "You know." He paused. "We're probably the one people outside of Leia's family who can say that. She doesn't like to talk about it. Understandably."

"The Holonet says he's defected." Rey didn't know how much she should share with Poe. The idea of telling him about the Force Bond seemed wrong. She was already feeling bad about telling Leia. "That he's on the run."

"And if he runs this way, I'll try shooting him again," Poe said darkly. "Yeah, I knew Ben. He was a quiet kid, but he was a troublemaker. I _liked_ him. I helped him cause trouble. But then I watched him cut down a man and order the death of a whole village. He tortured me for information. You were _there_ when he murdered his father."

Rey's insides squirmed. Everything Poe said was truthful. But it hurt to hear it. If Ben was truly starting to embrace the light side, he would never be able to come back to the Rebellion. There would always be people like Poe who couldn't see past what he'd done as Kylo Ren.

What would Poe think of her? Of the feelings she'd been having for Ben ever since the start of their Force Bond? "But I told you he killed Snoke."

"Because he wanted to take over. That's what Dark Siders do. They kill their Masters so that they can _be_ the Master."

Rey looked down. "I was... Just curious. You find out someone like Kylo Ren is.... Who he is. And you want to understand it."

"There's nothing to understand," Poe insisted. "I don't know about the Force, but I know that there are some things you can't come back from. If the First Order wants him dead... I hope they find him."


	7. The Ghost: Full Scope

Ben walked to the cockpit of the Ghost, looking out in the starscape before them. "So why did we leave Takodana? Are you that mad that Maz got me drunk?"

"We got the supplies we needed, you did some good work on Maz's castle... It was time to move on." Kaila looked back over her shoulder. "Now that the castle is mostly repaired, more people are coming back. We could get spotted. It's smarter to keep moving. I mean wouldn't it be awful to spend all of this time fixing up Maz's castle only for the First Order to destroy it again trying to track you down?"

Kaila had a point, but Ben still regretted having to leave. Every day, he'd had more visions of Ulic Qel-Droma. It felt like the Force was trying to unveil the whole story to him. He hadn't told Kaila about it. Outside of asking Maz about the ancient Force Wielder, he hadn't said anything at all about his visions.

"Where are we going now?" Ben asked. "Are you going to take me to some other place I've destroyed?"

"Well there's no lack of those, is there?" Kaila flipped some switches and rose from the pilot's seat. "It'll do us some good to travel at sub-light for a while. Make sure we don't have a straight line trail to follow. Besides... I like space. Don't you?"

Ben looked out into the dark void once again. He took a deep breath. "It's so cold... And black... And empty."

"Go further," Kaila prodded him.

Ben closed his eyes. He felt the Force in the black and it connected to all of the planets around them... To all of the life on those planets... It wasn't empty. It was teeming with energy. He could feel them all. There was so much. There was too much. It threatened to overwhelm him.

Ben started to laugh. He wasn't sure at first why. He fell down into the co-pilot's seat, his body wracked with chuckles. He doubled over, clutching at his side.

"What's so funny?" Kaila asked. She sat back down in the pilot's seat.

"Everything..." Ben opened his eyes and looked out into the void once again. "I actually thought I could rule it? Me... Snoke... Darth Sidious... All of us are just so _tiny_. All of the things the Empire and the First Order did-- _do_ \-- to control the galaxy... And it's impossible. No one can have that kind of power. The galaxy... Feeling it all. There's so _much_ out there. It looks like nothing. But that's only because I'm nothing."

He thought back on his words to Rey on the Supremacy. He had called her nothing. But really, all of them were nothing. He may have been born with an important name and a powerful bloodline, but that didn't make him any larger in the galaxy. He was the same speck of matter in the vast blackness of space.

He called Rey nothing, but she had people in the galaxy willing to fight for her, to die for her. Those friends Ben had called thieves and traitors would have laid down their lives for her. No one would lay down their life for him.

He swallowed hard. Except for the man who had laid down his life for him. Who put himself in Kylo Ren's reach, to drive a lightsaber through his stomach.

Ben's laughter began harsh. He felt the tears stinging his eyes. Snoke would have killed him with half a thought. Ben had always been nothing to him. He'd mattered to his family. But he'd murdered his father. He might as well have killed his uncle. He'd helped the people who were now hunting his mother.

"Ben...." Kaila said worriedly. "Ben, it's all right..."

Ben continued to sob, unable to stop the tears from flowing.

And then he felt it. The warm body against him. Arms around his neck, holding him close.

He stopped crying. He stopped breathing for a moment. He was too shocked by Kaila's embrace. He hadn't felt anything like it in nearly half a decade. His hands shook as they wrapped around her.

She had hugged him before... So many years ago, when he was a child. She'd hugged him last the night she left with Master Bridger. Her touch reminded him others. His mother kissing him on the forehead. His father touseling his hair. Chewie lifting him up and letting him ride his shoulders. Sitting in Uncle Luke's lap so he could show him how to fly an X-Wing.

And the soft brush of fingertips. The last affectionate touch he'd felt before this. The one that was so very real, but hadn't really happened. The touch he ached to feel again, this time in the physical realm as well as the spiritual.

He still meant something to her, to Rey. He meant something to Kaila. Maybe he still meant something to his mother.

Him. Ben Solo. Ben Solo wasn't nothing. Ben Solo meant something to people.

It was Kylo Ren who was nothing.

Kaila pulled back and Ben just stared at her through tear-blurred eyes. He wiped his cheeks, his eyes still stinging. "What just happened?"

"Nothing," Kaila replied. "And everything. What you want to make of it."

Ben swallowed hard, nodding. "I think I'd like to stay out in space for while. If we can."

Kaila nodded. "There's no rush."

* * *

 

Three days into their slow journey through space, Ben had a question running through his mind. He sat in his bunk, staring at the holocrons on his desk.

Luke had spent years tracking down as many as he could to restore the Jedi Order. When Ben had destroyed the temple, he didn't hesitate in taking them. After killing Luke's students, it was the worst thing he could think of doing to his uncle. It took away hope that he could rebuild again.

Kylo had only used the Sith holocrons. He had only been _able_ use to the Sith holocrons. The Jedi ones were protected from him, due the taint of the Dark Side.

He'd left those holocrons in his pack. He didn't want to look at them. He reached out a shaking hand to one of the holocrons, but thought better of it and withdrew it.

"What's stopping you?"

Ben turned to the door. Kaila was leaning against the frame. "You really should announce yourself."

"I should." Kaila nodded. "It's gotten me in trouble before. Why aren't you using the holocrons? There is good information in there."

"I've tried before," Ben replied. "They wouldn't open for me."

"When was the last time you tried?"

Ben looked down. He shrugged his shoulders. "It's been a while. A few years."

"What's stopping you _now_?"

Ben reached out and took one of the holocrons. He held it up to Kaila. "What if it doesn't work?"

Kaila shrugged. "It might not. You've twisted your soul up with the Dark Side. That's not something that's easily fixed. So if it doesn't work... You need to strive to get closer to the light. Until eventually it works."

Ben put the holocron back down onto the desk. "You should take these." He gestured to the holocrons. I mean, you're my Master now. Aren't you supposed to give me knowledge when you think I'm ready for it?"

Kaila pursed her lips in thought. "Hm. I guess so? I don't know. I've never had a padawan before." Kaila extended her hand and the holocrons floated up, levitating out of the room. "If you don't mind me asking... What were you looking for in the holocrons?"

Ben took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. "What do you know about bleeding a kyber?"

Kaila's lekku twitched. "Probably less than you. Seeing as how you've actually done it." She held out her hand. "Can I see your lightsaber?"

Ben wrapped his fingers around the hilt and held it out to her. She took it, looking it over. "You know, this looks a lot like your old lightsaber."

"It's the same one," Ben admitted. "Just... I had to change it..."

"You don't want to know about bleeding." Kayla shook her head. "You want to know about purification."

Ben got to his feet, he kicked his chair away. "What am I thinking? If I can't even open a holocron, what chance is there that I can purify a kyber?"

"You know you don't have to do it." Kaila handed the lightsaber back to Ben. "That lightsaber works. You've used it for years. The color of the blade doesn't really change how it works."

Ben placed the lightsaber on his desk, staring at it. "Clighal... Octa Ramis... Lor San Tekka... Han Solo..." He could name a hundred more people whose blood the blade had tasted. What was worse were the people he couldn't name because he couldn't remember them. They were a blur. "If I'm going to be a Jedi, I can't use the weapon of a Knight of Ren."

Kaila nodded. "I've only ever heard of one purification that worked. Ahsoka did it."

Ben shook his head. "I hadn't known that."

"She did. Two kyber crystals. Turned them pure white. Ahsoka Tano wasn't Jedi or Sith. She was a warrior... On her own terms." Kaila cocked her head. "How did you bleed the crystal?"

"I...." Ben grimaced. "All of the hate and rage I was feeling... I poured it into the crystal. I..." He faltered, looking down. "It happened all at once. That night. As I cut down more and more students, the blade turned red. It felt like my body was being torn apart. I was just so _angry_ at Luke... I nearly blew up my hand when the crystal cracked."

"A lightsaber is a weapon the same as any other. It can be used to hurt... Or it can be used to protect. Remember when you first constructed your lightsaber... When you sought out the kyber crystal and molded it to your will. When it took on that blue hue... Think about that. What you want to use your lightsaber to do now. From there... You have to find your own way." She sighed. "But you know... It is the nature of a Kyber to be on the light side. That... What it is now... Isn't what it's supposed to be. Things always try to return to their natural state. You may be overthinking it."

Kaila left without another word, closing the door behind her. Ben grabbed his lightsaber once again and set it on the ground. He sat down, cross-legged, looking at it.

Meeting blades with his uncle, stopping the strike that would have killed him.

Each and every one of the students at the temple who'd stood by Luke. They'd put up a valiant effort, but were no match for him and his knights in the end.

Lor San Tekka telling him he knew where Ben came from. And Kylo slashing him across the chest.

His father touching his face and the look of shock as the blade had gone through him.

The blade clashing against his grandfather's, illuminating Rey's determined face.

Fighting back to back with Rey against the Praetorian Guards.

_Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you._

Ben held out his hand and reached out with the Force. He felt the casings pull away, the power cells and circuits dispersed. He opened his eyes and watched as the lightsaber fell apart. Soon, the two halves of blood red kyber crystal were exposed. Ben turned his hand palm up, letting the pieces rest in his hand.

He hadn't been unarmed in years. His lightsaber had been like an extension of his hand. He had willingly destroyed it. It would take ages for him to put it all back together.

But it felt... Right. If he was going to go down this path, he couldn't hold that lightsaber any longer. He would rather face any opposition on his own than with that blade.

His thoughts went back to the fight  on the _Supremacy._ Since the lightsaber had been bled, that had been the only time it had been used to protect anyone.

He had tried to take over the First Order, acting like his attack on Snoke had been a power play. But in that moment, had he thought about that at all? No, all he had thought about was protecting Rey. When Snoke had ordered him to kill her, he knew he had no other choice. Snoke had to die.

When they had fought together, he had felt balance in a way he had never before. They didn't need to communicate to know what the other was doing, what the other needed.

Ben was so wrapped up in the memories of the fight, he didn't see the glowing figure standing behind him, watching the lightsaber components as they fell to the ground.


	8. Near Pando: Consequences

Having been exposed to his uncle's methods of teaching, Ben was surprised by the next week with Kaila. She left him mostly on his own in his bunk. He was free to move around the ship, but he found he didn't really want to much. He was content to sit on the floor, holding the shattered kyber crystal in his hand and meditating.

He was beginning to see the appeal Kaila found in space. After he'd reached out and felt how insignificant he was in the grand scheme of the galaxy, he began to feel... Relaxed.

A heavy burden was taken from his shoulders. All of his life he was told how he was the scion to the Skywalker legacy, the son of heroes Leia Organa and Han Solo, one of the most powerful potential Jedi in existence.

It was too much for anyone to live up to. But as a speck of dust in the universe, nothing was expected of him. With everything he had done, within a few generations it would be nothing but history recorded in a holocron.

He opened his eyes at that _feeling_ in his chest. He felt his breath catch. "I wasn't calling for you."

"You didn't have to before." Rey was sitting across from him. "It just happened." She looked uncertain. "Is it true? What Captain Syndulla said?"

"She says a lot of stuff."

"About you," Rey clarified. "Trying to become a Jedi."

"Kind of," Ben hid the shards of his crystal behind him. At Rey's confused look, he shrugged slightly. "I don't know if I'll succeed."

"That doesn't mean you're not trying."

Ben nodded. "I suppose so." He paused, looking down. "I thought I knew it all. I trained for years. But... I don't know if I know anything really. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. This is different."

"Your mother. I've never seen her so happy." Rey shifted. "I mean, she's not _happy_. But she seems... Less sad."

"Good." He nodded. It was awkward. He wasn't sure exactly what he was supposed to say to Rey now. Before-- when they'd been on opposite sides-- there was always a goal.

But didn't he still have a goal? Wasn't it really the same goal he'd had back then, he just had a word for it now? He'd wanted Rey by his side. But he hadn't wanted Rey as his apprentice... Not really. He'd wanted her as a companion. As...

He found his mouth was dry. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to talk to her now?

"Ben, are you alright?" Rey frowned deeply. "You look pale."

"I'm _fine_ ," Ben said quickly. "How are you? I mean... What are you... Doing?"

"I'm..." Rey cleared her throat. "I'm trying to help the Rebellion and reform the Jedi."

"That's good." Ben nodded. "It's... Good to keep busy."

He looked to the door. "I have to go."

"What?" Rey shook her head. "Ben, what's going on?"

The connection between him and Rey broke. Ben leapt to his feet and ran out of his quarters. He hurried into the cockpit, skidding to a halt.

Kaila looked back at him in surprise. "Ben? What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost." She got up warily. " _Did_ you see a ghost?"

"Why did you have to tell me that?" Kylo demanded.

"Tell you what?" Kaila asked. "What is going on?"

"Rey! You told me how I felt about her!" Kylo pulled himself to full height, towering over Kaila. "Why did you do that? How am I supposed to talk to her now?"

"You knew you liked her!" Kaila looked up at him fearlessly. "Don't throw a temper tantrum at me because you get tongue tied! I'm sure Rey wouldn't be at all impressed by it." She gestured for him to sit in the co-pilot's seat. "I mean, I know you didn't date a lot when you were a teenager, but are you really incapable of talking to someone you like?"

Kaila sank back into her chair. "By the Force, you're really incapable of talking to someone you like."

Ben groaned, leaning back in his seat. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We're both Jedi. We can't be together."

"Since... When?" Kaila blinked.

"It's part of the Jedi Code," Ben said earnestly, nodding his head. "No romantic attachments."

"Ben." Kaila pointed to his clothes. "You're wearing my ex-boyfriend's clothes. And I'm a Jedi."

"I just thought you were bad at being a Jedi."

Kaila scowled. "Ben, no one's followed those rules since the days of the Old Republic. They didn't really work then anyway. Neither of us would _be here_ if they did."

Ben sat up. "But Uncle Luke and Master Bridger always said..."

"Oh.... Oh Ben." Kaila sighed, shaking her head slowly. "That was just something Master Skywalker and Ezra told the younger students to stop them from messing around with each other. Even Master Skywalker and Ezra couldn't follow it. I mean, you knew..." Kaila frowned. "You _knew_ , right?"

"Knew what?"

"When Ezra left the temple. Their fighting was _really_ personal. You didn't pick up on that?"

Ben blinked. " _Really_?"

Kaila nodded. "For a long time. Basically as soon as they started working together."

"They just told you that?"

"One of my first lessons at the temple was to always knock." She paused for a moment. "So if when you started training you avoided romantic entanglements... And Snoke really didn't seem to encourage you to enjoy anything..." Kaila cocked her head. "Ben... You're not... I mean, you've..."

Ben blushed, looking down. "You know you could've told me the truth."

"It would've been _weird_ ," Kaila pointed out. "You were my little brother. I didn't want you to know what I was getting up to. I'm just surprised no one else ever told you. I know there weren't a lot of students your age, but there were a few."

"You were my only friend really. And you weren't even really my friend. You were... Another person who watched over me. No one else really liked talking to me."

Kaila frowned. "What about the ones who joined you? The ones who became the Knights of Ren?"

"They were afraid of me. That's not the same thing."

"Maybe me and Master Skywalker and Ezra treated you like a kid... But you're not one now." Kaila leaned over and ruffled Ben's hair. "Little brother, you are just... A complete mess. I'm starting to understand what you need to learn."

Ben looked at Kaila warily. "And what's that?"

"The only way you're not going to need Kylo Ren anymore is if Ben Solo learns to be a real person."

* * *

 

After a few more days in space, Kaila decided they had to go down to a planet. It seemed a random decision. She didn't bother explaining to him why she'd decided to do so. They were still doing fine on supplies. Maybe she had Rebel business she wasn't telling him about.

So Ben found himself down on the smelly planet. He pulled up his hood to mask his face, looking furtively around the sparse marketplace. It was really more of a strip of beggars. "Why would you bring me here?"

Kaila glanced at her Padawan. "Why? Do you have a problem with it?"

Ben's lip curled as he looked around at the beggars and merchants peddling whatever they could. "It's disgusting. We're not going to find anything we need here."

"Have you ever been here before?"

Ben sneered. "Why would I ever be here? It's wretched."

"You know, Near Pando used to be fairly nice. Especially considering it's in Hutt Space. It was a trade world. On its way to becoming a huge hub."

Ben recoiled from a man reaching out a gnarled hand towards his vest. "What happened? Did the Hutts stripmine it?"

"No." Kaila shook her head. "You did."

Ben blinked. "I've never been here."

"The First Order," Kaila replied. "They have a Stormtrooper training facility on Far Pando. Don't they?"

Ben shook his head. "But that's a whole other planet."

"It's choked off the supplies here. Everything that did come here is used to fuel your war machine."

Ben blinked, looking around at the people in the marketplace. He could feel the desperation in them. The hunger. The sickness.

"I would have taken you to Far Pando, but it's a bit dangerous... Stormtroopers everywhere and all." Kaila gestured around. "But it's even worse there. It used to be a really sweet farming world. Do you want to know what it is now?"

Ben remained silent, lowering his head.

"Do you want to know?" Kaila asked again.

"I already know," Ben murmured finally. He'd never been to Far Pando, but he'd been to other worlds like it. The natural landscape was burned, the ground cover in duracrete. Instead of trees towering over the landscape, huge barracks loomed over the worlds. Anything that wasn't demolished to house the troops was destroyed in training exercises.

"The First Order takes it all. The traders that come here now are ones the First Order doesn't think are tactically advantageous.  But the only people who will put in the effort are slavers and warlords ready to pick clean the bones of this world."

Ben shook his head frantically. He hurried down the street, looking over each and every person. They huddled together. They pleaded with him. Tried to shove meager items into his hand, calling out low credit amounts for whatever trash they could part with.

Ben broke into a run. He ran all the way back to the Ghost. Once inside the ship, he fell to his knees, exhausted. He gasped for breath.

He heard Kaila's footsteps behind him. He shook his head. "I didn't do this."

"You absolutely did do this." Kaila crouched down in front of him. "Did you think I was going to coddle you, Ben? You are a murderer. _You_ , Ben Solo. It's always been Ben Solo. Kylo Ren was a mask you wore to try to separate yourself from it. But you were always Ben."

"Why are you doing this?" Ben pleaded. "Why are you torturing me like this?"

"Aren't there a thousand people who has asked that question of you? And how did you answer? _More_ pain. Death. Look at them!" Kaila placed her hand on Ben's forehead. Images of people he had tortured flooded into his mind. "I can see them Ben. They're all pleading for mercy. But you won't give it."

" _Stop it!_ " Ben roared, throwing Kaila back hard with the Force. He panted, looking at his fallen Master. "Why did you do that?"

"Because you needed to see it." Kaila's look of hard determination didn't change even still crumpled on the ground. She slowly pulled herself up. "Because all of the reasons you've given me for why you decided to leave the Dark Side... Because you're in love the Rey... Because you feel bad for your mother... Because you feel guilty about your father... Everything is about _you_ , Ben. You're not trying to become a servant of the Light Side. You're trying to absolve yourself of your sins. But they're the sins that hurt _you_."

Kaila stood, looming above him. "You said you were nothing. That we're all nothing. But nothing can affect a great deal. You and Snoke and Sidious were all destined for failure, that's true. The galaxy is too big for one person to control. But look at the devastation one person was able to cause. The Clone Wars. Order 66. The First Galactic Civil War. And now the Second Galactic Civil War. You were all willing to burn the galaxy if it meant you could hold onto a piece of it. These people are doing nothing but trying to live their lives. But they're being choked to death by a war machine that hasn't stopped in nearly a century. You were a part of that. And I can't help you until you _know_ that."

Ben stumbled to his feet. He lurched towards the fresher. He got to the waste disposal unit just in time, losing the contents of his stomach.

"I'm sorry I had to do that," Kaila said quietly from the door.

Ben shook his head. "You're right. I did this. And so much more. How do we help them?"

"We can't."

Ben scowled. "Why would you bring me here if there was nothing we could do to help them?"

"We're a two person crew on a forty year old bucket of bolts. The First Order has an entire legion of troops on Far Pando. The only way to help this planet would be to get rid of the facility there. Even then, there's no guarantee this planet would be able to recover. It's been starved for years."

"Then did you show this to me? If there's nothing we can do?"

"I told you I was going to show you how to be a person. Being a person means being helpless sometimes."

Ben sniffled. "If what I've done is so horrible... Why would you still help me? Why would you lead me to the light side?"

Kaila looked sad. "Because you're crying right now. Welcome to humanity, Kylo Ren."


	9. The Ghost: Assets

They were only a few hours away from Near Pando. Kaila had put the ship on autopilot so she could sleep. Ben found it impossible. His mind was still stuck on the people he had seen. The people whose lives he had ruined.

For as much as Kaila had claimed he would not be able to figure out how to contact the Rebellion, it didn't take much. Ben was far more gifted with mechanics than she was. He attached a voxscrambler to the comm. "Contacting Naboo Endor Ben Three Four Two." He still remembered his mother's personal code. She never would have changed it.

"Provide authorization code," the automated response came immediately.

"Uhhh..." Ben looked back out of the cockpit. What would Kaila have made her code? "Dume Bridger Wren Two Seven Seven."

There was a long pause. Ben cringed. Maybe he didn't know Kaila as well as he thought he did...

"Wasn't expecting to hear from you, Kai." This time the response was from a person. "Did you just sense I was manning the comm and in need of something fun?"

 _Dameron_? Ben recognized the voice. At least he'd put the voxscrambler on so the pilot wouldn't recognize him. "I was in the Pando Spur. There's a Stormtrooper training facility on Far Pando."

"Your audio is garbled. Check your comm system for bugs. We know about that facility. Not a lot we can do about it right now."

He needed to sound more like Kaila, even with the voxscrambler. He cringed as he affected a Rylothian accent. "Zat ees why I'm contacting you. I found some security keys for ze facility. I'm transmitting zem now. Not much I can do with zem een my bucket of bolts, but you might want to see what you can do wit zem."

While Ben had never been to the Far Pando facility, he'd implemented codes into the Order system that would work anywhere. His skeleton key protocols. With Hux always a hair's breadth from betraying him, he needed to make sure he could cripple the General at a moment's notice. It was true they wouldn't do him and Kaila any help on their own, but in the hands of the Rebellion maybe they could do some good. "Ze codes will only work on planetary bases. And you'll only get a few shots wit zem before ze Order figures out what's going on. I'm sending a list of bases you might want to get some strike teams on before ze codes go bust."

"Babe... How did you get these?" Dameron sounded shocked.

Ben licked his lips, trying to think of a good answer. "Don't ask questions you don't want ze answers to."

"We'll have to look these over... But if these codes work out, you might have to take two nights on base for me to properly thank you."

Ben gagged. "Ghost out."

Ben disconnected the comm before Dameron could say anything else.

"That was a stupid thing you just did. And I don't sound like that."

Ben looked back at Kaila. "How are you _always_ there?"

"I got an alert someone was using the comm." Kaila walked into the cockpit. "You could've gotten us traced."

"You know I didn't."

"Poe could've figured out it was you."

Ben looked down. "Does he know I'm here?"

Kaila nodded. "All right... So you've sent codes to the Rebellion. What if someone in the First Order has already found your codes? Are these the same ones you used to get off of the _Finalizer_? You could've just condemned a lot of people to die."

Ben flexed his fists. "They're different codes. Rebel Intelligence will look into them. Tactical will figure out the best places to strike. Command will only go ahead with it if they think the plan is viable. I gave them my codes and they can do whatever they think is best with them."

"You could've mentioned it to me if you thought it was such a good plan," Kaila replied. "But you were worried it wasn't, so you didn't. Do you realize how bad off the Rebellion is right now? You don't find it strange a Flight Commander is on Comm Duty? That's because there's so few of them, Poe _needs_ to man the comm. They don't have a person to spare and you just suggested-- while pretending to be _me_ \-- that they send in strike teams onto guarded Order bases."

"I'm trying to help," Ben insisted.

Kaila sighed. "I'm sure the Rebellion will appreciate the tactical help. But you have run this stuff by me first.  I'm not only your Master, I'm the Captain of this ship."

"Fine. It's just... I might just be a person, but I'm a person who knows things. I was a Commander of the First Order. If the Rebellion is going to beat them, they need people like me. Even if they don't know about it."

"Run things past me first and we'll decide together what to share with the Rebellion."

Ben sighed, leaning back. "Why was Dameron flirting with me over the comm?"

Kaila scratched her brow. "I'm surprised you can recognize it considering you have no clue how to do it yourself."

"He's _not_ subtle." He paused. "I'm not going to call Rey 'babe'."

"She might like it."

"Do _you_ like it?"

"I'm not the issue." Kaila looked away, staring at the console.

Ben grimaced, catching the wave of discomfort around Kaila. "Is Dameron your _boyfriend_?"

"No!" Kaila protested. "He's my friend. You know he's my friend." She pretended to be flipping switches, but it was obviously just something to keep her from looking at Ben. "A very close friend."

"A friend who always liked to flirt with you," Ben replied. "You told me it was gross."

"It _was_ gross when he was fourteen and I was sixteen." Kaila's lekku twitched. "But he's not fourteen anymore."

Ben nodded. "But he's not your boyfriend. Just your very close friend. Your very close friend you're obviously have sex with."

Kaila glowered. "I refused to be judged by a guy who can't even talk to a girl even after he's offered to rule the galaxy with her."

Ben frowned. "I never told you I offered to rule the galaxy with Rey."

"Oh, _of course_ you did! A megalomaniacal worm like you would think that was the height of romance!" She slumped back in her chair. "You know, my life is spent ferrying cargo to the Rebellion, hiding from an elite squad of Dark Side Users _you_ trained to hunt people like me down. The few times I have managed a relationship with some smuggler or cargo pilot, it fell apart pretty quickly. Guys might like the idea of a hot Twi'lek warrior, but the shine wears off when I'm not willing to give up the Rebellion or they get tired of not understanding why I'm so secretive because I can't tell anyone I'm a Jedi. A lot of times I can't even tell them my real name! Most of the people I have any common experience with have been exterminated by the same people who are hunting me. So if I choose to blow off some steam in the arms of a handsome, charming man I have known for long enough I can trust him with just about anything than that is my own business!"

Ben blinked. "Are you finished?"

Kaila nodded. "Yes."

"That was..." Ben's lip curled. "Incredibly undignified and unnecessary. I take it you've been holding that in for a while?"

"Yeah."

"You're... Really defensive about this." Ben's brow furrowed. "Wait... Are you..."

"Are you trying to be _insightful_?" Kaila glared at him. "You're an emotionally stunted, sheltered virgin who panicked while trying to make small talk. I don't need you trying to figure out what's going on with me." She went back to the controls. "Because I'm _fine_. Nothing wrong with me."

"You say you don't sound like that... But your accent gets really heavy when you're mad."

Kaila rose from her chair. "I'm going back to bed. I need to sleep. I just know you're going to be getting me into more trouble soon."

* * *

 

"Sir!"

Hux turned to the Sergeant. "What do you have?"

"We've identified the prisoner Ren escaped with." He held out a datapad, bearing an image of the Twi'lek woman. "Our initial data was out of date. We identified the ship as the _Ghost_ , but the databanks listed Hera Syndulla as the Captain."

"Yes, it wouldn't have been her... Not if the latest communications are to believed. And no matter how well Twi'lek age, a sixty-three year old isn't going to look like the woman we captured." Hux looked up. "Her daughter."

The Sergeant nodded. "Kaila Syndulla. We don't have a lot of information on her. She was registered as a member of the New Republic shortly after the Battle of Jakku. Birth planet was listed as Yavin Four, born in Imperial Year 19."

"A true Rebel child then," Hux said, studying the woman's face. "She had a lightsaber when she was captured. Ren also seemed to know her."

"Sir, we have very little information about Skywalker's Jedi..."

"That might be the case for you," Hux snarled. He gestured to the shadows. "Commander Ren."

The black clad, masked figure-- Exar Ren-- stepped forward. Hux held his hands behind his back as he looked imperiously down on the knight. "Security recordings of the _Supremacy_ have been recovered via digital relay. My suspicions have been confirmed: Kylo Ren betrayed us and murdered the Supreme Leader."

Exar nodded.

Hux held out the datapad towards Exar. "Kylo Ren knew our prisoner. I suspect you do too. Who is she?"

"She is a Jedi," the vox scrambled voice came out from the mouthpiece of Exar's helmet. "Not one of Skywalker's. One of Master Ezra Bridger's."

"And here I thought Kylo Ren had you track all of them down." Hux sniffed. "Do the Knights of Ren remain loyal to the First Order and all that Supreme Leader Snoke has built?

Exar nodded. "I have taken command of the Knights of Ren. We will not rest until the traitor is punished for his crimes."

Hux nodded. "The Knights of Ren have the full support of the First Order. Anything you require is at your disposal..." a small smile curled his lips. "I know you were under orders from Supreme Leader Snoke... But the time for secrecy has passed. Tell me his name."

Black gloves reached up to the helmet, releasing the snaps on it. The helmet pulled away, revealing an angry but handsome face and dark brown hair peppered with grey. "His name is Ben Solo."

Hux stared at the Knight. He then began to laugh. "Ben Solo?"

Exar nodded.

"Oh." Hux was practically giddy. "No wonder you were forbidden from speaking of it. I always knew Kylo Ren was... Defective. I had no idea it was that rebel blood flowed through his veins."

"Solo will pay for what he has done," Exar hissed.

"His choice to take Captain Syndulla with him may be his downfall." Hux walked towards the comm bank, pressing buttons.

Exar followed behind him. "Syndulla has proven to be a difficult target. The Knights of Ren have been attempting to find her for years in order to exterminate her."

"Everyone has their price, Commander," Hux replied. "Everyone has vulnerabilities. Solo was a poor leader for you. He failed to teach you that not everything needs to be struck down with a lightsaber. Other means can be much more effective."

The hologram of a blue face appeared on the comm. Red eyes looked up at Hux. "General Hux."

"That is Supreme Leader Hux," Hux insisted. "There have been many changes within the First Order. One of those changes is a wish to renew the partnership with the Chiss Ascendancy. I hope you are amenable, Thrawn."

"And what do you propose?" Thrawn's voice dripped with contempt. " _Supreme Leader?_ "

"I received the communication you sent to Supreme Leader Snoke. The Aristocra could use ground support. You were offering a trade. I would very much like to go through with this deal."

"The last time I suggested an alliance to Supreme Leader Snoke, he seemed rather cool to the idea," Thrawn replied. "He didn't see the strategic value in it."

"Supreme Leader Snoke is dead," Hux replied. "And I will not make the same mistakes. What you were offering is quite valuable to me."

Thrawn nodded. "I expect an entire legion."

Hux hit some buttons on the comm. "Send your transport to these coordinates. I will collect the packages and give you your troops."

"Well, this is certainly a new day for the First Order. I look forward to seeing how things progress." Thrawn's holo cut out.

Exar eyed Hux warily. "How is that _thing_ going to help us find Solo?"

"Everyone has vulnerabilities." Hux turned to the Sergeant. "Have the security in the detention level doubled. We're receiving some very important guests."


	10. The Ghost: Discovery

Ben hadn't taken much time to look around the Ghost since he had come on board. Mostly, he stuck to his quarters or the cockpit. But since they were spending more time at sublight, with the ship as their home, he really needed to take the time to get to know it.

_Find a good ship, Ben. Find one you love. Then get to know it like the back of your hand. That'll save your life._

His father had loved the Falcon. Ben had loved it too. When he was a kid, he thought he'd eventually take it over. As Kylo Ren, he tried to convince himself that he hated the ship. But his revulsion over the Falcon was as false as his hatred for his parents. Kylo Ren hated everything Ben Solo loved. When he demanded it blasted out of the sky, he was desperately trying to quell memories of running around the ship as a child, creating a hidden fort in one of the smuggling compartments and taking a nap in Chewie's furry embrace as the ship went to lightspeed.

Now the Falcon was Rey's. If there was any person in the galaxy he wanted to have it other than him, it was her. But he still ached for that ship. He'd felt the loss of it the moment the golden dice disappeared from his hand.

He'd always had an affection for the Ghost as well. His father and General Syndulla used to get into playful arguments over which was the better ship. In the end, they always agreed that no matter which one was ultimately better, they were the best ships in the Rebel fleet.

The ship was much quieter than it had been when he was growing up. One thing the Ghost had on the Falcon was a dedicated crew. The Falcon just had his dad and Chewie. While General Syndulla was in charge, Master Bridger, Commander Wren and Commander Orrelios were just as dedicated to the ship. While they would all eventually move on, the Ghost was their home.

So many people had called the Ghost home at one time or another. Uncle Luke travelled with Master Bridger on it (now that Kaila had told Ben the true nature of their relationship, it actually seemed very obvious). Commander Wren married Lieutenant Onyo on the ship. Commander Orrelios had married Commander Kallus on the ship. Often when Kaila babysat him, Ben found himself on the ship exploring.

Now, it was just him and Kaila and it seemed strange. Empty. The crew had taken a lot of their things when they'd moved on to their other endeavours, but there were still small signs of them. Commander Wren's old quarters were still garishly spray painted, but it was faded and peeled. Master Bridger's room was almost empty except for a few tools, a box of lightsaber components-- That might come in handy for Ben soon enough, if he made progress with his crystal-- and something covered by a sheet.

Ben pulled back the sheet to reveal the orange and white droid. Ben blinked in surprise. "Chopper?" He ran his hand over the casing of the droid. "What are you doing in here?"

Ben looked over the droid. He didn't appear to be damaged on the outside. There must have been some sort of short in his circuitry.

"Kaila!" He called out. "Come to Master Bridger's quarters!"

He heard Kaila's footsteps. "What are you doing in Ezra's room? Oh." She nodded. "Right. Chop."

"Why is he like this?" Ben asked.

"He shorted out a few days before I was boarded by the _Finalizer_. I was going to get him fixed, but I've been a bit preoccupied." She arched a brow at him.

"Don't blame me because you're terrible at repairs." Ben continued to study Chopper. "You know you're a good pilot. You should be better at mechanics."

Kaila rolled her eyes. "I was a little busy learning how to fly _and_ become a Jedi _and_ work as an undercover Rebel operative. I can't do everything!"

"Rey could do it."

"Well, then it's lucky you're in love with Rey rather than me."

Ben cringed. "Never say anything about love and you and me together, even in the negative. It's just... I can't handle it. Even knowing you're in love with Dameron makes me queasy."

"Just shut up about Poe already!" Kaila insisted. She walked in the quarters and ran a hand over Chopper's dome. "Do you think you could fix him? I miss having him around. And I told Mom I'd take care of him. I really don't think she wanted to leave him, but she felt bad about going away and leaving me alone."

Ben opened up the plating covering Chopper and looked at his wiring. He crinkled his nose slightly. "It doesn't actually look all that bad. Looks like a short to power cells. He wasn't getting enough charge." He held out a hand. "Hand me the sonic wrench."

Kaila grabbed a tool from the desk.

Ben sighed as she held out the tool to him. "That's a hydrospanner. You're _terrible_ at this."

"I have other talents to make up for it." She grabbed another tool-- this time the correct one-- from the desk.

"Is this why you still use your dad's lightsaber?" Ben asked as he made adjustments to Chopper's charging unit.

"Maybe a little." Kaila knelt down and touched Chopper's dome again. "But mostly it's legacy. I mean... I've met his Force Spirit, but it's not the same as having him around. I didn't even know my dad's name until I was six. Everyone was so afraid about saying anything about my father being a Jedi. Keeping it makes me feel closer to him. Like a part of him is with me."

Ben paused in his work. "You know how raiders and scavengers who go over battlegrounds? Rey used to be one you know. Pillaging salvage from fights? Mostly, it's just garbage tech... But there's a black market for uniform pieces from the Empire. Mostly metals and rank pipes and insignias. But... I found something... Some Admiral in the First Order had it. I threatened to kill him if he didn't give it to me." He paused. "I might've killed him. I can't remember, honestly. It was pillaged from Endor shortly after the Second Death Star was blown up."

Kaila frowned. "What was it?"

"Darth Vader's helmet." Ben hadn't spoken about the helmet to anyone. Snoke of course had known. He knew everything. But he hadn't even mentioned it to Rey. "I used to talk to it. I always hoped he would tell me what to do."

Kaila sighed, sitting cross-legged on the floor. "I'm not really one to be generous about Darth Vader. But... Master Skywalker said it. He died as Anakin Skywalker. Of course Darth Vader was never going to visit you. He doesn't exist anymore. And Anakin... He wouldn't have visited you. Not when you were making the same mistakes that he did."

"What do you think would've happened to him? If he hadn't died on the Death Star? If he'd killed the Emperor and saved Uncle Luke, but lived?" Ben kept his eyes focused on Chopper. "Do you think he would've..."

"I think he would've gone into exile," Kaila replied. "Tried to relearn the ways of the Light Side."

"But do you think the Rebellion..."

"Ben, not everyone is going to forgive you," Kaila sighed. "No matter what happens, you have to be able to accept that. It's not about the rest of the galaxy. It's about you. What you think of yourself. You don't redeem yourself so everyone will see you differently. You do it because you can't stand the idea of doing evil any longer."

Ben nodded. He flipped a switch inside Chopper and the droid chirped, his head dome whirling around.

"All right!' Kaila clapped Ben on the shoulder. "Hey Chop. Sorry it took so long to fix you!"

Chopper turned his head towards Ben. He let out a series of deep beeps before the arm in front extended and Ben was jolted by a shot of electricity.

"Ow!"

"Hey!" Kaila cried. "Chop, don't do that! Ben just fixed you!"

Chopper continued to beep.

"Yes, I know he was evil. But you were out of commission for a while."

A long, deep series of noises came out of the droid.

"Well, it was about two weeks. But a lot of things can change in that time. He lives with us now."

Chopper swirled his head around and then pushed past both Ben and Kaila, rolling out of the room.

"So." Ben nodded. "I can use Chopper to get used to how people are going to treat me now."

"Mostly, he's just a jerk. I doubt you'll meet anyone else who is as bad as he is."

* * *

 

Ben was jolted out of his meditation by the rocking of the ship. He jumped to his feet, not even bothering to put on his shirt. "What's going on?" He yelled out towards the cockpit. He didn't really need to ask. He was sure he knew.

"Got a ship on our tail," Kaila replied.

"The First Order?"

"It's a bounty hunter," Kaila replied. "Ben, on the turret. Chop! I need you!"

Ben jumped over Chopper and got himself into the dorsal turret. He put on his communicator as he began to fire at the Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft. "Why are bounty hunters coming after you?" Ben demanded.

"Guess the First Order figured out who I am." Kaila sounded distracted, most likely checking the instruments. "I don't know how this guy got past the sensor scanners."

"I do," Ben fired at the ship. "I know who it is. Can we jump to lightspeed?"

"We're too close to a planetary system! I can't make the jump to hyperspace without blasting through that dustball. I'll tear us to pieces."

The ship lurched as it was hit with another blast. "Kriff, he's taken out the hyperdrive! Ben, you gotta give me some good news."

Ben swung around his gun. The opposing ship was missing the shots. "He's not trying to blast us out of the sky. He's trying to get us down onto the planet."

"He's going to get his wish," Kaila replied. "We've got to land. We're thrashed."

Ben closed his eyes and concentrated. He fired once more, hitting the ship. He let out a breath. "I took out his sensors. Try to get us down somewhere he can't trace us."

Ben climbed out of the turret as the ship descended towards the planet. "Where are we landing?"

"Closest planet. We can't get anywhere else. I can at least get far enough away that he'll have trouble pinpointing our location."

They made landfall and as the ramp extended out into the sand, Ben and Kaila both blinked at the intensity of the sun.

The place seemed so familiar to Ben. "We couldn't be on Jakku. We were on the other side of the galaxy."

"Still are. Wish we could've gone a bit farther. I have friends on Ryloth. I don't have them here. I've brought us down in a canyon that'll give us some natural cover. Hopefully, that bounty hunter won't find us before we can do some repairs."  Kaila started to go back onto the ship.

"He'll find us." Ben swallowed hard. "I recognized the ship. He won't give up."

Kaila went into the cockpit. She got onto the comm system. "Contacting Naboo Endor Ben Three Four Two this is Dume Bridger Wren Two Seven Seven."

"You have more codes for me, Captain?"

Ben's heart felt like it had stopped. He opened his mouth, but he found he couldn't speak.

"Just thought I'd let you know we've had to make a stop. Bounty hunter took us down. Had to make an emergency landing on Tatooine. We were able to shake him before we made landfall and his sensors were knocked out. I don't think he'll be able to track us."

"Get out of there as fast as you can, Captain."

Ben snatched the comm link away from Kaila. "Mom."

There was silence for a long moment.

"Ben....?"

Ben tried to will his heart to stop pounding. "It's Boba Fett."

There was another moment of silence.

"I'm deploying a rescue team. Keep him off you as long as you can." Leia paused. "Ben..."

Ben closed his eyes. "Mom, I'm sorry. About everything. If we can't shake him, I want you to know that."

"Just be careful. And hold tight. May the Force be with you both."


	11. Tatooine: Ghosts

"You can't leave the ship!" Ben insisted, trailing after Kaila out of the ship.

"I have to!" Kaila replied, prepping the garishly painted speeder. "We're grounded unless I can get some new parts for the ship."

"My mom is sending a rescue team." Ben pointed out. "Kaila, you know I'm not normally one for running away from a fight. So if I don't want to face Boba Fett, _what does that tell you_?"

"That you have some unresolved childhood issues with stories your dad told you about his history as a smuggler," Kaila replied. "I remember you having nightmares that Boba Fett was going to find you."

"They weren't exactly unfounded," Ben pointed out. "Do you know how many times people tried to kidnap me? I'm pretty sure the reason you were my babysitter is because you were a Padawan and you had your own lightsaber."

Kaila paused. "Okay, your mother _might have_ mentioned security protocols to me when I was looking after you. But Boba Fett never stepped foot into the New Republic. But you've always been irrationally scared of him,"

"He crawled his way out of the Sarlaac Pit and swore vengeance on my father and his whole family. How is that irrational?"

"This is my ship, Ben!" Kaila cried. "I'm not just going to ditch it to be picked up by the Rebels. My mother would come back from the Unknown Region _just_ to kill me." She got onto the speeder. "If you want to stay here, go ahead, but I'm getting what we need to put this ship back together."

Ben shook his head. "That's not it. If my mom is sending a rescue, they'll have parts to fix the ship." He frowned. "You don't want to be here when the rescue arrives."

"Of course I don't!" Kaila shot back. "The only people in the Rebellion who know about you travelling with me are Leia and Rey. I doubt they're going to be the ones coming to help us. Ben, I don't want you to get shot in the back by some pilot whose parents you murdered."

"Why did you comm my mother then?"

"Because I've been comming her every day since I told her that you were with me. She ordered me to. I _was_ planning to downplay our current situation, but you had to get all dramatic!"

"It's _Boba Fett!_ " Ben yelled. "You've never dealt with him before. I have. My whole family has. I do not take him lightly. You shouldn't either."

"Well if you're so worried about me, then come with me."

"Fine!" Ben moved to get on the back of the speeder.

Kaila looked down at Ben's hip. "You know, I haven't mentioned how happy I am you disassembled your lightsaber."

"I didn't think we were going to be running from Boba Fett!" Ben got onto the back of the bike and grabbed onto Kaila's waist.

Kaila grabbed a blaster from the side of the bike and held it back to him. "Please tell me you still know how to use one of these."

Ben slipped the holster onto his belt. "Just don't drive us directly into Fett. That's the last thing we need."

Kaila pulled out a datapad. "We're in the Jundland Canyon. Our best bet is going to be heading that way." She pointed out. "Mos Espa. We should be able to find what we need there."

"Let's hurry up. The sooner we do this, the better."

Kaila looked to the droid on the ramp to the ship. "Chop, close up the ship tight and keep an eye on it. Sound the alarm if Boba Fett tries to get in."

Chopper whistled and whirled his head around.

The bike screeched to life and Ben closed his eyes as they went through the scorching desert. Ben had never been on this planet before, but of course he knew it. Uncle Luke had spoken about it. He had grown up there. His grandfather had grown up there.

Even all of these years later, no one really paid attention to Tatooine, despite everything that had occurred on it that had helped shaped the galaxy. Even Kylo Ren had dismissed it as a sun scorched trifle. The hutts still controlled much of it. Slavery still existed. People still scrounged for the most basic of needs. Yet so much had actually happened there...

Kaila came to a stop once they reached Mos Espa. She parked the speeder bike and got off of it. "A spaceport like this should have a lot of junkers we can get parts from. Just need to find a shop."

"That one." Ben pointed at a shop. He didn't know why it had to be that particular shop. Something just told him that they needed to go there.

"Why that... Hey!" Kaila ran after Ben. He was walking towards the shop purposefully, ignoring the protests of his Master.

He walked into the shop and felt a wave of something like nostalgia.

" _Hi chuba da nago?_ " The Shistavenen proprietor growled his greeting in Huttese at Ben.

"We're looking for parts for a VCX-100 light freighter." Kaila answered in basic, held out the datapad to the owner. "The specs are here."

The Shistavenen looked at Kaila in confusion, before turning back to Ben. "These won't come cheap." The Shistavenen leered at Kaila. "But I'd take her. She looks like she's worth the parts."

Kaila opened her mouth to protest. But Ben knew the moment she did they'd be kicked out and be forced to find another junker. He grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to him. He cringed inwardly at Kaila being pressed up against him. "She's not for sale. She's a good little slave, not a _schutta_. She'll stay where she is. You'll be paid in peggats."

"Five hundred peggats for what you want," The Shistavenen continued to eye Kaila. "Or I'd take just a night. I'd give her back to you in one piece... Mostly."

"One hundred," Ben replied, giving the alien a hardened look. "And only if I think they're worth it."

The Shistavenen nodded. "I'll get the parts." He turned and went to the back.

As soon as the wolf-like alien was out of the room, the crack of Kaila's hand against his cheek shocked Ben. He stumbled backwards, letting her go.

"How _dare_ you do that," Kaila hissed, keeping her voice low.

"We're under cover and he just gave you a pretty good cover. He was never going to see you as anything but a slave."

"Because _why_?" Kaila asked.

"Because..." Ben shifted. "Because you're..."

"Because I'm _what_?" Kaila asked. " _Supposed_ to be a slave?"

"Are we really having this argument right now?" Ben asked. "I don't think you're supposed to a slave. But that nerf herder has clearly never seen a Twi'lek that wasn't. And we want these parts, so we can get out of here. So I let him think you were a slave! What did you want me to do?"

Kaila glowered at Ben. When the Shistavenen came back in with the parts, she turned her attention onto him, holding out a hand towards him. " ** _You want to give us those parts for free._** "

"I want to give you these parts for free."

" ** _You want to give every profit you make from now on to the Restore Ryloth Fund._** "

"I want to give every profit I make from now on to the Restore Ryloth Fund."

Kaila snatched up the parts and strode to the door. As she moved out, she kicked Ben in the shins, swearing under her breath in Twi'leki.

Ben followed after Kaila back to the speeder bike. "Kaila, I didn't mean anything by it."

She was securing the parts to the bike. "Ben, do you have.... Just _any_ idea what it is like for someone like me?"

"You said you use your looks to trick people!" Ben protested.

"I use my _looks_. I never, _ever_ act like I'm somebody's property. You just humiliated me using the most degrading, horrific thing that happens to my species. I grew up in a Rylothian refugee colony during the time of the Empire. I remember people just _disappearing_ in the night because they were sold off to some hutt. People used to come up to Ezra and offer him money for me! And it hasn't gotten much better now. Ryloth might be free, but it's people aren't. My people are bought and sold like livestock. And just humouring that sithspawn's beliefs for _one second_ makes me want to vomit."

" _Numa_..." Ben used the Twi'lek word for Sister.

"Just don't talk to me while I'm packing up," Kaila asked, not looking away from her task. "Just give me a few minutes. I'm still really mad.'

Ben sighed, shaking his head.

_You're a slave?_

_I'm a_ **_person_ ** _..._

Ben turned his head down the street. He'd heard voices. The Force was calling out to him. He followed the voices. It was a home that was attached to the shop they'd been in. No one had lived there in decades.

They were tiny. Servant's quarters? No... Slave's quarters. Ben touched his hand to the door and gasped.

_...And my name is Anakin!_

Ben had known Anakin Skywalker had come from humble beginnings... But he had no idea just how humble. Luke had said Obi-Wan wove the tale of Anakin as a young pilot when he was found by the Jedi Order.

But outside this building he knew the truth.

Anakin Skywalker had been a slave.

Ben pushed open the door to the domicile. It was being used as storage by the shop owner. He heard more voice as he pushed things out of the way and moved further into the hovel.

_He can see things before they happen. That's why he appears to have such quick reflexes. It is a Jedi trait._

_He deserves better than a slave's life._

_The Force is unusually strong with him, that much is clear. Who was his father?_

_There was no father, that I know of...I carried him, I gave him birth...I can't explain what happened. Can you help him?_

Ben could see the sandy haired boy. Young and vital... But enslaved.

"Grandfather."

"A more accurate image of me than a charred mask."

Ben whirled around to the ethereal blue figure. "It's you."

He was young and handsome. Ben had seen him in holos, but that was different than seeing his Force Spirit. "I've been waiting for you for years."

"You weren't ready before," Anakin replied. "You didn't want to see me. You wanted to see _him_. But that's different now. Now you want to know that I wasn't destined for darkness. I made a choice. A bad one. And I chose to come back from it. You made a mistake, Ben... But it was a mistake you can rectify."

"Ben!" Kaila called from outside. "Where have you gone? We have to go! I wasn't that mad!"

"It won't be an easy path, Ben," Anakin warned. "But it is worth it. And I promise it is not too late for you."

" _Nerra!_ " Kaila called to Ben. He looked out the door. When he looked back at where Anakin had been, he was going.

Ben stepped out of the hovel. "You've forgiven me."

"What makes you think that?"

"You called me _Nerra._ "

"I guess I did." Kaila pointed to the bike. "We're all packed up. We can go back to the ship now. What were you doing in here?"

"Nothing," Ben replied. "I'll tell you about it later."

"Well, come on... Let's go."

Ben followed Kaila back to the bike, getting onto the back of it. Kaila started the engine and they raced off.

The Ghost grew closer and closer as the landscape streaked past them. Ben looked up and saw the figure standing on the precipice above the Ghost. There was something in the figure's hand.

Ben's eyes widened. "Kaila! _Watch out!_ "

Fett threw the thermal detonator down and it hit the rocks. The shockwave and the debris sent the bike flying. Both Ben and Kaila hit the sand.

Ben's ears were ringing. He tried to raise his head. His body was wracked with pain from the explosion.

Through his blurred vision, he could see the figure silhouetted by the light of the twin suns. The custom Mandalorian armor slowly came into focus.

Boba Fett pointed the blaster at Ben. "Solo."


	12. Tatooine: Hunted

Ben knew he had to do something. His head was swimming. He couldn't focus. Boba Fett wasn't going to kill him. No, the First Order would prefer to have him alive. Dead they couldn't torture him for his betrayal. He reached to his side, fumbling for his lightsaber.

No, it wasn't there any longer. It was in pieces on the _Ghost_ , currently buried beneath a pile of rubble.

Where was Kaila? Was she conscious after the blast?

Boba Fett approached him slowly, blaster raised. He'd called him Solo. So Hux had found out who he was. No doubt the Knights of Ren had betrayed his identity. Had Hux immediately run to tell Boba Fett the news? The bounty hunter made it no secret his vendetta against the family. The infamous mercenary didn't even take bounties any longer unless he had a personal interest in the quarry.

There was a long series of aggravated beeps and the strong smell of burning fuel. Something slammed into Boba Fett, knocking him off course. "Chopper?" Ben mumbled.

He struggled to his feet. Blood oozed from his hairline. He blinked, trying to focus. He saw the crumpled, green body on the dunes a few feet away. "Kaila..."

Kaila was struggling to stand up. Ben stumbled to her, grabbing her by the waist and hauling her up. "Come on. We have to get out of here."

Ben grabbed the blaster from his belt in his free hand, firing wildly back at Boba Fett. He knew he wasn't aiming. He wasn't getting anywhere close. It didn't matter. They just needed to get to the bike and get away. They needed time to regroup.

Kaila shook her head, igniting her lightsaber. "You get the bike up. I'll hold off his fire!" She used the blue blade to repel the firepower of the bounty hunter. Still woozy from the explosion, one of her blocks was off and she took a shot to the arm, singing the skin. "Agh!"

"Come on!" Ben cried, righting the bike. The front end was smoking from the explosion, but it would work well enough to get them away.

"Chop!" Kaila yelled as jumped onto the bike and grabbed onto Ben's waist. "Come on!"

Chopper blasted off of the sand, ramming himself into Boba Fett once more to send him off course. He reached out his pincer-like appendages, grabbing onto the back of the speeder just as it took off.

Ben had no destination. He just took off in whatever destination Boba Fett wasn't. They couldn't fight. He was still disoriented. If he wasn't careful he was going to drive the speeder into a rock formation.

He felt Kaila's hand on his hip, grabbing his blaster. He could heard the blaster fire behind him. "If I can just hit his jetpack...."

Kaila took aim and Fett went flying off course. "Keep going! We're losing him!"

Ben revved the engine harder and then kept careening through the desert. Ben's head was still killing him. They needed to find somewhere to patch themselves up. He saw a town approaching quickly. He nearly crashed right into a building, pulling the speeder to a hard stop. Chopper lost his grip on the back and flew into a pile of garbage. He beeped and whistled angrily, pulling himself out.

Ben slipped off the bike and pulled it into an alleyway. He then leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it.

Kaila knelt next to him, looking him over. "You've got a concussion."

"You probably do too," Ben replied. "And you were shot."

"It's not bad." Kaila grimaced and looked at the bleeding graze on her arm. "And you're the one bleeding from the head."

Ben blinked, trying to get himself focused. "I'm going to be alright. Fett's not going to be far behind us. We should split up."

"That's a stupid idea," Kaila shot back.

"It'll be easier to blend in," Ben snapped. "And he'll only be able to catch one of us."

Kaila thought about it for a moment. She then reached to her belt and unhooked her lightsaber. She held it out to Ben. "Here. I'm a better shot than you are."

"I think you mean I'm better with a lightsaber than you are. Now get out of here."

Kaila bit her lip. She was understanding what he was doing. "Ben..."

"If he gets me, he gets me. But he doesn't have to get you too. Take the holocrons I brought and work with Rey. I've also got more codes in my pack that can help the Rebels. Just tell Rey... Something better than I would say. Now take Chopper and _go_."

Chopper bumped into Ben in what was as close to gratitude as Chopper could get.

"We're going to beat him," Kaila insisted. She got up, blaster in her hand. She ran back out of the alley and out in the crowd of Mos Eisley. He watched her disappear into the throng. He then rose on slightly shaking legs. He gripped the lightsaber tightly in his hand.

Ben Solo had been frightened by Boba Fett since he was a child.

But Kylo Ren wouldn't allow himself to be afraid of anything.

 

* * *

 

Kaila's arm ached from the blaster shot. Her head was spinning. She hadn't told Ben and he hadn't noticed, but her lekku was bleeding. The headtail was throbbing painfully.

She felt naked without her lightsaber on her. But Ben needed protection. She should have been able to protect him. She was supposed to be his Master. A Master was supposed to protect her Padawan. Only a few weeks into their training together and she was already failing.

She knew what he wanted to do. He didn't think they could get out of it, so he was going to throw himself in Fett's way. She should have fought him harder on it. She should have stood by his side. But he would never agree to it.

She closed her eyes and reached out with the Force, trying to push past her disorientation and the pain. She needed to find Fett before Ben did.

There was a familiar presence. Someone seeking, searching just as she was. "Chop, follow me!" Kaila kept her blaster up, running past one of the busy cantina, towards the docking bay. She turned a corner. She felt it getting closer and closer. Someone was looking for her. Ben wasn't the only one who could jump into the fray. If she found Boba Fett first, she would fight him just as fiercely.

The figure was in shadows. Kaila pointed her blaster at it, ready to fire.

"That's a fine greeting."

Stepping out of the shadows, Poe smiled broadly at Kaila. "Let me guess: you could just kiss me on the mouth?"

Kaila lowered her blaster. "I can't believe you're here."

"I'm here."

" _Finn to Poe_ ," a voice came over Poe's comm. " _We've found Slave One. I'm sending Snap back to base with it._ "

Poe grinned. "Sounds good, buddy. I've got Captain Syndulla. I'm bringing her in."

Poe took a hold of Kaila's wrist, but she dug her feet into the sand. "I can't!"

"We'll take care of the Ghost," Poe replied. "Don't worry. We've got Fett's ship and you need medical attention."

"I really can't leave."

"Why not?" Poe asked. "I've got a team out looking for Fett. Right now, what's important is we get you to safety. The General was clear on getting your crew safe. And one..." He nodded to her. "Two..." He nodded to Chopper. "Your crew is safe. Now why don't you want to go?"

* * *

 

Kylo knew he was close. He could sense him. He could sense the hatred of the bounty hunter. "Why don't you come out?" Kylo called out savagely. "I'm alone. We can do this." He stalked down the streets, pushing people aside. He walked down a sandy alley. The light of the twin suns was growing dim, casting looming shadows. "I know you hated my father. Do you hate me because I'm his son?"

His eyes glittered malevolently. "Or because I killed him before you had the chance?"

He knew it was wrong. He was touching his anger. He was touching the Dark Side. But wasn't anger better than fear?

He continued down the alley.  He heard something. Someone was moving quickly. Kylo gripped the lightsaber tighter in his hand. At the sound of feet, he ignited the blade and brought it down.

It was met with resistance. A glowing green blade had met his. It illuminated the face of their wielder.

"Rey..." Ben stumbled back, disengaging the lightsaber. "What are you doing here?"

"Rescuing you," Rey replied. "Leia sent us."

"You can't be here," Ben said hurriedly. If Rey was there, she was in danger. Not only that, but Ben wouldn't be able to do what he needed to. He couldn't be Kylo Ren in front of her. Not anymore.

"I..." Ben started, but something shot out, wrapping around him. He looked up. Fett jumped down from the top of the building. He'd bound Ben tightly in a fibrecord whip.

Rey wielded her lightsaber. No, not her lightsaber. Ben recognized it. It was the same lightsaber that had nearly struck him down in his sleep. His Uncle Luke's old lightsaber.

Ben tried to get himself out of the fibrecord, but he couldn't turn his lightsaber the right way. His head was still spinning from the explosion. The Force wouldn't work. He struggled to free himself with brute strength alone.

Fett fired at Rey and he yelled out. Rey swung her lightsaber, deflecting the blast. But it ricocheted off the wall, causing a weak section to give away, falling onto her. "Rey!" Ben called out. Fett was more focused on him. Rey was incidental, but Ben couldn't stop the need calling out to her to protect her. To make sure she was okay.

Fett pointed his gun at Ben. He took a deep breath.

A loud roar filled the alley. The arm holding Fett's gun was gripped in a hairy fist. Fett yelled out as his arm was yanked out of its socket.

Fett crumpled to the ground, clutching the bloodied stump of his arm. Ben looked past the wounded bounty hunter, up at the looming Wookiee.

The last time he'd seen Chewbacca, he had fired a blaster bolt into Ben's side. His cry had been one of pure heartbreak as Ben had killed Han.

Ben's eyes stung as he looked up at his former guardian. "Chewie..."

Rey struggled to get to her feet. Chewbacca growled at him.

"He says his life debt with Han extended to you..." Rey carefully used her lightsaber to cut the cord binding him. "Even if you are the one who killed Han."

Ben nodded, the tears threatening to fall. "I know. I still understand Shyriiwook."

Rey pulled a comm from her belt. "Rey to Poe. We're got Fett. Chewie's... Disarmed... Him. We're taking him to the Falcon."

There were so many things Ben wanted to say to Rey. So many things he wanted to say to Chewbacca. But he shook his head. It wasn't the time. "I need to find Kaila and Chopper. Make sure they're all right."

Rey nodded. "We were able to find the Ghost. We landed right by it. I'll see you there."

Chewbacca hauled Fett to his feet, dragging him down the alley. The bounty hunter wailed in pain, dripping blood onto the sand. Ben met Rey's eyes once more. He nodded. "See you there." 

* * *

 

"Do you hear that?" Poe said, smiling up at Kaila. "We've got Fett. A bounty hunter with the death sentence on twenty systems. And the Rebellion has a new ship for its arsenal. Now will you stop looking so worried?"

"Okay!" Kaila ran ahead of Poe. She gestured for him to move faster. "Well then you can head out. I really didn't want to inconvenience you. I'm sure this was out of your way. But really... Thank you so much. You should be going."

Poe frowned. "Why are you trying to rush me out? Chopper, what's going on with her right now?"

Kaila pointed at the droid. "You shush!"

"Kai, you are being really strange right now." Poe shook his head. "I'm starting to think you didn't want to see me."

Kaila sighed. "No, I'm glad to see you." She slipped her fingers into his hair and pulled him close, kissing him firmly on the mouth.  "Thank you for the rescue." She pulled back quickly. "Now please go. I can handle it from here."

"You're injured. Let me at least get you patched up. You're shot and I can see your lekku bleeding. That's got to hurt."

"I'm _fine_ ," Kaila insisted. "Poe, you really don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself. I just got into a little bit of trouble with a bounty hunter. Leia overreacted and brought you out here, but I could have handled it."

Poe narrowed his gaze suspiciously. "You're talking real fast. You know, the last time you did that to me, your boyfriend was two seconds away from coming in the door."

"Ex-boyfriend," Kaila corrected him. She crinkled her nose. "For the most part. Really, it's nothing. It's just not a good time to see you."

"What are you hiding?"

"Kaila, are you okay?"

Kaila froze at the deep, concerned voice behind her. "Yeah... I'm okay."

Poe straightened up, drawing out his blaster. "Kaila, you mind telling me why Kylo Ren is standing behind you?"


	13. Tatooine: Explanations

Poe glared at the man who had tortured him only a few months previous. Poe had his blaster on him just like that night. The night Kylo Ren had viciously murdered Lor San Tekka and froze Poe's blaster bolt in mid air.

Now, Kylo Ren was the one frozen.

Kaila was not idle. She reached her hand behind her and the lightsaber Ren held flew into her hand. She raised it up and the brilliant blue blade blazed to life. "Poe. Put the blaster down."

Poe's eyes widened. He looked over this woman. This woman he trusted, this woman he cared about. She was wielding a weapon against him... For _Kylo Ren_. "Kaila, what the hell are you doing?"

"Protecting my Padawan. Now _put the blaster down_."

For as commanding as the words were, they didn't feel like a Jedi Mind Trick. Poe lowered his blaster out of pure shock. He still kept it in his hand, ready to raise it at a moment's notice. "Your Padawan." He repeated the word slowly, as if he could change the meaning if he did. "Your Padawan. As in your apprentice. _Kylo Ren_ is your apprentice."

"No, _Ben Solo_ is my apprentice." Kaila disengaged her lightsaber, lowering it. "Can we please not do this here? I don't trust anyone on this dustball and I'd like to make sure my ship is all right."

Poe cocked his head. He felt his bravado coming back to him as the shock wore off. "And why shouldn't I lock you up with Boba Fett and take you back to the Rebellion for aiding and abetting a genocidal tyrant?"

"Oh wow..." Kaila's lekku twitched. "You really just said that. Since you asked.... We've been friends for twenty-five years. We've been sleeping together on and off for fifteen of them. So maybe I thought you'd have just a _tiny_ bit of faith in me. General Organa is _completely_ aware of what I'm doing and fully supports it..." She put her hands on her hips. "And frankly I'd like to see you _try_ to bring me in. Just to name a few reasons."

He groaned softly. Unfortunately, everything Kaila had said was painfully true. Poe just wished she had left out their sexual relationship in front of Ren. He knew in a fight he was no match for two Force Wielders. But there was one part of what Kaila had said that he couldn't believe. "Leia knows about this?"

"Of course she knows! Why do you think you're here? She ordered you here because she knew Boba Fett was after Ben!" Kaila's lekku were still twitching. Poe grimaced when he saw some blood ooze from the wounded one.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Poe demanded.

"Would you have come?" Kaila asked.

Poe looked down.

"By the Force, you really wouldn't have come. You would've left me to a bounty hunter if you'd known. You certainly know how to make a girl feel special." Kaila let out a litany of Twi'leki curses. "Ben, are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah." Ren was looking pale and surprisingly... Nervous.

"Go get the speeder. You and Chop head back to the Ghost with the parts. Try to get it unburied enough so that you can go to your quarters. Stay in there until I tell you to come out." She spoke with a clipped evenness.

"But Kaila--"

"I'm your master and your captain. There's not enough room on the speeder for all of us. You and Chop take it back. Poe and I will get a transport. Get to the ship and come out when I say so."

Shockingly, Ren listened. He withdrew silently, walking back towards an alley.

"Watch after him, Chop," Kaila said to the droid. He beeped and followed after Ren.

Kaila turned her attention back to Poe. "I can't believe you would've left me!" She turned, lekku flying around as she did and began to stalk away.

Poe trailed after her. "I can't believe you're helping Kylo Ren!" How dare Kaila think she could take the moral high ground with him! She was the one taking care of a maniac like he was some sort of teenaged ward. "Do you have any idea what he's done?"

"I have _every_ idea!" Kaila shot back. "I'm not stupid! But I also know what he's been doing. He killed Snoke to save Rey. He left the First Order. Kriff, where do you think those codes the Rebellion has came from?"

Poe thought back on his strange conversation with Kaila over the comm. Horrific realization set in. "I knew you sounded weird. That was _him_?"

"I came in at the tail end of the conversation. I wouldn't have let him do it if I'd known."

"I said things to him." Poe shuddered to think about it.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't say that stuff over official comm channels." Kaila flagged down a Jawa sandcrawler. She spoke a few alien words to a Jawa and handed him some credits. She gestured for Poe to get on.

There wasn't anywhere to sit. The sandcrawler usually transported droids. Poe and Kaila stood against the wall as the crawler moved along. Kaila reached a hand up to her lekku, hissing softly.

"Come here," Poe sighed. He got out his small medpac. He made sure to pack it, knowing the situation was dangerous. He got out a bacta patch and gingerly applied it to Kaila's lekku. He automatically stroked an undamaged part of the headtail with the back of his fingers. "How does that feel?"

"Probably better than you meant it to," Kaila replied, her voice shaking slightly. She pointed between them. "We were having a fight."

"Let me look at your arm." Poe began to look over her blaster wound. It was fairly superficial, but it still needed treatment. “Are you just doing it under orders from Leia?”

Kaila shook her head. “No. I was captured by the First Order. Ben freed me, as long as I took him with me.”

“And you just went along with him?”

“You literally did the _exact_ same thing with a stormtrooper, who is now your best friend and the guy you have the hots for!”

"Finn hasn't done the same things Kylo Ren has."

Kaila sighed, grimacing as Poe hit a tender spot on her arm. "I was ready to dump him off to find his own way... But my Dad told me I needed to guide him."

"Your Dad?" Poe knew the Force could do powerful things, but he'd thought Kaila was joking about Force Ghosts. Maybe he should've known better than to believe anything regarding the Force was a joke.

Kaila nodded. "Bringing Ben back to the light was so important, my father came back from the _beyond_ to tell me so. If you mother came back, wouldn't you do whatever she asked of you?"

Poe closed his eyes. Of course he would. But he didn't want to say that outloud. He wasn't sure he had to.

"It didn't take me long to realize I didn't need a request to do it. I wanted to do it. I'm a Jedi. It's my job to help people-- no matter how lost-- find the light. And he's..." She sighed. "He's still my little brother."

She had always been close to Ben. Poe hadn't known him as well as she had, but he remembered the quiet young boy. But fond memories didn't change who he had become. "I need to talk to the General about this."

"You're a good soldier. And you're perfectly within your right to do that." Kaila turned away from him. "But I'm not lying to you."

The walk from the transport to the ships was silent. It felt strange to Poe. Normally, he and Kaila would flirt together or talk about their latest adventures. But Kylo Ren was like a spectre over everything.

The Ghost had already been unearthed from the rubble. Having seen Rey use her Force powers on Crait, Poe wasn't really surprised. Kylo Ren was nowhere to be seen, but Chopper was outside the ship. It seemed he'd actually listened.

BB-8 beeped happily and rolled down the ramp of the Falcon. He did a loop around Kaila and Poe. However, at the sight of the two he backed up and made an unhappy warble, lowering his head. He then rolled back up into the Falcon without another sound. The tension around them was so heavily, even BB-8 wanted to avoid it.

There was a roar as Chewbacca stepped off the Falcon. "Chewie!" Kaila cried happily. She ran up to the wookiee and hugged him. "It's been years! You look great!"

She pulled back and Chewbacca let out a sad chuff.

"So Leia told you, huh? I know it can't be easy. I tell you, Chewie... He's still Ben. He's just... Struggling.

Poe turned away from Kaila and Chewbacca. He took out his comm. "Finn, how far away are you and Rose?"

" _About an hour_ ," came the reply.

"Come see me right away. Something's come up."

"Chewie said he's got Fett restrained in the Falcon. His wounds have been stabilized." Kaila cocked her head towards the ramp of the ship. "Come on, you want to talk to Leia. Let's get it over with."

Soon enough, Poe, Kaila and Chewbacca were gathered around the holo of Leia. The conversation was not proceeding the way Poe had wanted. Leia nodded her head. "Captain Syndulla was telling the truth. I knew Ben was there."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Poe demanded.

"I told you what you needed to know," Leia replied. "Are we going to keep having this same problem, Commander? You follow orders and trust that you are given all of the information you need."

Poe leaned in. "General, I don't know if you can make a clear decision when it comes to Kylo Ren..."

Leia's expression grew hard. "I know better than anyone everything he has done, Commander. I am not one to easily forgive. But he has already proven himself to be an asset. I'm not going to throw that away for vengeance. If Captain Syndulla believes she can rehabilitate him, I'm willing to give her that chance. I'm ordering you to not interfere with Ben. You will also refer to him as such. For security's sake, the fewer people who know he's Kylo Ren, the better. Convey that order to Lieutenant Finn."

Poe sighed. "So you just expect us to let Kylo-- Ben-- go?"

Leia shook her head. "No, I don't. I need Chewbacca to bring the Falcon back to base. We need to fully stabilize Boba Fett so we can question him. Finish your mission to Coruscant using the Ghost."

"What?" Kaila elbowed Poe out of the way so she could look at Leia. "General Organa, Ben and I are sort of in the middle of things."

"You're a member of the Rebellion, Captain Syndulla. You need to fulfill your duties."

"General, my ship is currently tagged with a bounty," Kaila pointed out.

"So is the Falcon," Leia replied. "But the Ghost-- once it is repaired-- will be better equipped to get in and out of Coruscant undetected. Do the repairs you need and then continue with the mission. Now I don't want to hear any more protests. I have some of my best people on this mission and I expect them to act like it."

Leia's hologram cut out. Poe and Kaila looked at each other warily. Poe would've liked nothing more than to trade places with Chewbacca. He had the much easier task. He would've much rathered played nursemaid and jailer to a partially dismembered bounty hunter than to try to figure out how to interact with Kylo Ren.

"Finn and Rose will be here soon," Poe sighed. "I'll have to brief Finn. And Rey..." Poe looked around. "Where is Rey?"

* * *

 

"Thanks for moving the rocks. I wasn't feeling up to it."

"It's all right. Are you feeling any better?" Rey asked, sitting on the edge of Ben's bed. She reached out and gently lifted a lock of his hair to look at his hairline. "I think the bleeding has stopped."

"It's not bad," Ben said, sighing. "I've had worse." He brought a hand up, running a finger down the scar across his face and down his bare torso.

"You look different." Rey gestured to the white shirt and vest that had been abandoned on the floor. "I don't mean your clothes. Your face. You look... Just different."

"Hopefully good," Ben replied. He sat up slightly. "I've seen a lot of things. It hasn't been long, but there's already been so much. Kaila and Maz have been showing me a lot."

"Maz?" Rey blinked. "Maz Kanata?"

Ben nodded. "We were on Takodana for a while. Maz was... Teaching me. I fixed up her castle. I felt the Force there. I saw things. There and here."

"Like what?"

Ben shook his head. "I don't know if I can talk about it. I don't know if I could explain it right. Just... The Force wanted to show me things. Thing that happened in the past. Things that might help me."

Rey nodded. She wasn't sure she understood entirely, but in some way she understood perfectly. The Force had shown her a lot, even if she couldn't give word to it. "Your lightsaber. It was blue."

"It wasn't mine." Ben looked down. "Kaila gave me hers to protect myself against Fett. Mine is..." He gestured to the desk.

Rey rose and walked to the desk. She looked over the pieces scattered there. "What happened to it?"

"I took it apart," Ben replied. "The blade. It's not supposed to be that color. Only the Dark Side makes a blade red. I wanted to purify it."

"How do you do that?" Rey picked up the red crystal and turned it over in her hand, looking at the cracks in it.

"I don't know really." Ben got up, walking up behind her. Rey shivered slightly. He was standing so close, she could feel the heat of his body. "I think I just... Meditate on it. Pour the light side into it."

Rey turned, looking up at him. They were so very close. "You're really doing this. You're becoming a Jedi."

Ben nodded. "Yeah."

"I asked you to come with me. You wouldn't leave the First Order." Rey took a deep breath. "Why now?"

Large hands came up and framed her face. Ben leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers. Rey felt the crystal slip out of her fingers.

It only lasted a moment, but when Rey pulled back, she was in a stupor. Ben smiled softly. "That's why."


	14. Tatooine: Connections

"WHAT?" Finn shouted. Poe better have been playing a joke on him. If he was, it was terrible joke.

Poe held a hand up. "Keep your voice down. I just explained it all. At least as much as I understand it."

Finn nodded slowly. The anger was slowly welling inside of him. "What you've explained to me is that Kylo Ren is pretending to be a good guy named Ben Solo and we're supposed to go on a mission with him."

"His name _is_ Ben Solo," Poe sighed. "Leia doesn't talk about it, because... Well, why would she want to? Kylo Ren is her and Han's son."

"I saw him murder Solo." Finn didn't understand anything that was going on. It was just too much to take in.

"I know, I know... I'm really not happy with any of this either." Poe leaned against the wall in the galley of the Ghost. "But Rey swears that Ren-- _Ben_ \-- killed Snoke to save her life. They fought together."

"And then he attacked us," Finn pointed out. He wasn't about to forget how he'd nearly sacrificed himself, only to be saved by Rose. "He saved Rey _and then_ attacked us."

"I guess the Dark Side isn't something you just flip a switch on... I don't _know_. Jedi are weird." Poe sighed deeply. "A few weeks ago, he broke Captain Syndulla out of a First Order detention block and they've been travelling together ever since. He's the reason we have those codes for the planetary installations."

"Why should we trust this Captain Syndulla?" Finn had never met her before. He'd heard the name mentioned, but she always seemed to be doing something on her own for the Rebellion.

"I trust Kai." Poe ran a hand through his hair. "I've known her a long time. I had a moment's pause when I first saw him, but... If she thought Ren was trying to trick us at all, she'd have nothing to do with him. She vouches for him. And these are orders right from Leia."

"We've ignored orders before."

"And look at how well that turned out for us." Poe shook his head. "I'm not going against Leia. If she wants us to work with him and keep his secret we're going to do it."

Finn nodded hard, gritting his teeth. He went over all of the facts. "Okay. So... You and I know he's Kylo Ren."

Poe nodded. "Right."

"Rey knows he's Kylo Ren. And Captain Syndulla knows he's Kylo Ren."

"Also right."

Finn stood up and threw his hands outwards. "So _everyone_ on the ship knows he's Kylo Ren... Except my girlfriend. And I am under orders not to tell her the truth. The truth that could potentially protect her from a dangerous situation."

Poe rubbed his temple. "I doubt he'll try to do anything on the ship. Even if he does, both Rey and Kai are there. There are two Jedi to his... Whatever he is now. Rose will be safe."

Finn didn't see how any of them could be safe with Kylo Ren around. He still remember the pain of the lightsaber cutting through his back. "You know he nearly killed me, right?"

Poe nodded. "I know."

"And he tortured you."

"I remember that very well."

Finn sighed resignedly. "Ben Solo?"

Poe nodded. "Ben Solo."

The pair left the galley. The rest of the new minted Ghost crew were milling in the corridor near the bunks. Finn felt his anger well up anew when he set eyes on Kylo Ren.

But not just Kylo Ren. A _shirtless_ Kylo Ren. Talking to Rey and Rose. Why was Rey being so calm about everything? Kylo Ren had hurt her more than anyone, with maybe the exception of General Organa.

"There you guys are!" Rose said, smiling. "Where have you been?"

"Mission briefing," Poe replied darkly.

Finn kept his gaze on Kylo Ren. He was pleased to see the long scar that went from his head all the way down his torso. He hoped it had really hurt when Rey had done that.

"Rey just introduced me to Ben here. Ben, this is Finn."

Finn pulled himself up to full height, although he was still dwarfed by Ren. "Lieutenant Finn."

"Lieutenant." Ren nodded slowly. "New position?"

Finn nodded along with him. "Just got it."

"Congratulations." He held out a hand. "Ben Solo."

Finn couldn't believe Ren was suggesting they shake hands. Still he looked to Rose, then to Poe. He reached out reluctantly and took Ren's hand, shaking it. "Solo... Related to Han Solo then."

"Father." Now that they were shaking hands, neither of them seem to want to break it off. It was like a battle for dominance.

"Sorry for your _loss_." The words were like acid on his tongue.

"Thank you." Ren paused. There was a flicker of emotion on his face that Finn had thought he was incapable of. "I miss him every day."

Finally, the two men released each other's hands. Ren turned his attention to Poe. "It's been a while, Poe."

"It has." Poe nodded, looking just as unhappy as Finn felt.

"The Falcon's just taken off..." Kaila walked back up the ramp with BB-8 rolling up behind her. "Chewie will take care of our bounty hunter. For now..." She sighed. "I suggest we get to sleep. We've had a long day and we'll need to get up early to do the repairs. So...."

Kaila looked around at the bunks. "That's Ben's room there and that's mine here... The one next to mine was set up for Sabine and Ketsu, so it's got a double bed."

"Rose and I could take it," Finn said before he thought it through.

Rose blinked at him in surprise. "We could?"

"Not for that," Finn replied quickly. He paused, lowering his voice. "Well, I mean... Not unless you want." Oh, things were getting awkward. He and Rose had barely begun exploring their new relationship. He didn't mean to suggest anything perverted. He just wanted to keep Rose safe from Ren. "It would just be... Safer."

"Safer?" Rose repeated. "What do you mean safer?"

"Yeah, Finn... What do you mean safer?" Poe's voice had a warning tone.

Finn looked around, trying to come up with an explanation. He then pointed between Kaila and Ben. "Well, these two were just attacked by a bounty hunter. And there's lots of other people looking for this ship."

Rose sighed. "Fine." She then grinned at him teasingly. "If you need me to protect you, we can share."

"In that case..." Kaila nodded to the last room. "That's set up as a single. Rey, you should probably take that. Oh..." She looked at Poe and shifted awkwardly. "So there's no more bunks. There's probably a puff-cot in storage..."

Poe rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag. "Your bunk sleeps two." He strode to the door. "I know that for a fact."

Kaila blinked. "What's happening?"

Poe walked into Kaila's bunk. He then reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her in. "Oh! Um, see you in the morning!"

Finn blinked as the door to Kaila's bunk closed. "Did I miss something here?"

BB-8 whistled and bumped himself against the closed door.

Rey cleared her throat. "Poe and Kaila are _friends_ , Finn."

"Oh!" Finn nodded. "Sorry about that, Rey."

Rey huffed. "I didn't like Poe!"

Kylo Ren made a growling noise.

"Are you okay, Ben?" Rose asked.

Ren paused, looking around slowly. Finally, after a long moment he spoke. "I'd rather not discuss my Master's sex life." He turned and stalked back to his room, shutting the door.

Rose nodded, picking up her pack. "He's _definitely_ General Organa's son. I'm going to get to sleep. I guess I'll see you in a bit." She got up on tiptoes to kiss Finn on the cheek.

Once Rose had left, Finn leaned in towards Rey. "You can't be okay with this."

"I told you I don't like Poe like that," Rey insisted. "I knew about him and Captain Syndulla already."

"Not that!" Finn hissed. "Ren!"

" _Ben_ ," Rey said firmly.

"You're kidding me." Finn shook his head savagely. "After everything he's done?"

"I can't explain it," Rey said quietly. "It's... Something in the Force. You can feel the light and the dark side. And I can feel him trying to come to the light side. We have to give him that chance. He killed Snoke to save me."

"He killed his father _and_ Master Skywalker." Not to mention the thousands-- millions-- of people the First Order had killed on his command.

"I know it doesn't make sense. But... This is the right thing to do."

Finn sighed. "You better be right."

* * *

 

Once Finn was gone, Rey opened up the door to Ben's bunk. She watched him for a moment. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, his hands held out in front of him. His lightsaber crystal glowed red.

She had never seen him look like that. He was in meditation. He was peaceful. She should have really left him alone, but she was so confused by the kiss he had given her. Why had it happened? Why now?

She had known about his feelings, but that was different than _knowing_. Feeling. She wanted to understand what it all meant.

"Do you know that Master and Apprentice can develop their own Force bond? Not as strong as what we've had, but still a bond." Ben spoke without opening his eyes or even flinching.

Rey felt her cheeks turn red, like she was caught seeing something she shouldn't. "I knew about it, but I've never felt it."

"I have." Ben let his hands drop and the crystal fell to the floor. He opened his eyes and looked up at Rey. "Unfortunately, now is the first time it's decided to present itself with my new Master." He pointed towards the door.

Rey looked back towards Kaila's bunk. "Oh.... OH!"

Ben let his head fall back. "Snoke always wanted me mentally open for him. So I'm getting waves of angry.... Whatever they're doing." He waved his hand, as if he could shove it away.

"Why did you kiss me?" Rey blurted out.

Ben scrambled to his feet. He took a deep breath. "Because I wanted to. Because I thought you wanted me to. Did you not want me to?"

Rey shook her head. "I didn't say that."

"So you _did_ want me to?"

Rey's cheeks felt hot. "I don't know. Maybe? Yes? It was nice."

Ben looked away. "I shouldn't have done it."

Rey touched his muscular arm. "I told you it was nice."

"I'm not _ready_ yet," Ben sighed. He began to pace. "I'm not good enough for you. But neither is Dameron. You shouldn't be with someone who would have sex with someone he's angry with to avoid having another fight."

"I don't want to be with Poe," Rey insisted. "He's handsome and charming..."

Ben scowled.

"But he's _just_ a friend. Finn's just convinced himself I like him, because..." Rey frowned. "Well, I think he feels guilty that he's seeing Rose so he wanted to see me with someone. And what do you mean you're not good enough?"

"I know what everyone thinks of me. I could feel the waves of rage coming off Dameron and FN-2187. And they have every right to feel that way. I know what I've done. I know I need to make up for it. I doubt I ever will. You should--"

Rey rushed forward and snaked an arm around Ben's neck, pulling him down. She pressed her mouth to his, sliding her fingers through his dark locks as she kissed him. She felt Ben's large hands on her hips, lifting her up to bring her to his level. She deepened the kiss, gasping into his mouth as she felt their own Force bond open.

Love and lust both flowed through the bond, coursing through Rey. She gasped at the sensation, clutching tightly to Ben. She was reminded of their fight on the _Supremacy_ , when they'd worked as one. Light and dark... Ashla and Bogan...

A balance...

Ben pulled away. "You have to go." He set Rey back on the ground.

"Why do you want me to?"

"Because I _don't_ ," Ben gasped. "That's why you have to."

He hustled her out of the bunk and set her in the corridor. "I'll see you in the morning."

He closed the door. Rey leaned against it, touching her slightly swollen lips. BB-8 turned in a circle and whistled. "You be quiet," she whispered.

* * *

 

Kaila laid on her side, the sheet pulled up to cover herself. Poe was on his side as well, watching her. He then sat up suddenly. "Okay, no... We have to talk about this." He was bare chested aside from the ring that hung around his neck.

Kaila rolled over to look at Poe.  "Okay, what are we on now? Round three?" She sat up. "There's really nothing else I can say to you. I'm training the kid. We've gone around in circles all evening about it. And if it bothers you this much, why did we just do _this_?"

"Why didn't you tell _me_?" Poe demanded. "You had chances. When I found you this afternoon, you were lying to me and trying to rush me off so I wouldn't see him. When you came to the base and you told Leia and Rey. Over three weeks you've been training him... You could've commed me _every day_ and told me. But you didn't."

"I knew how you'd react." Kaila threw her hands up in the air. "Look! I was completely right! I have a responsibility to my Padawan to keep him safe. And if that meant not telling anyone... I'd make the same choice again."

"If you had explained things to me maybe I would have taken it better." Poe raked a hand through his hair. He didn't know how to explain the hurt he was feeling. He was angry, yes... But there was something else. "I just want you to talk to me. I mean we...."

"We what?" Kaila asked.

"We're friends," Poe finished, cringing inwardly at how pathetic it sounded.

"Yeah, we're friends. And sometimes friends keep secrets for the greater good, especially when they're in positions like we are." She gestured to their covered bodies. "Or are you talking about _this_? Because _this_ doesn't really entitle you to anything other than some relieved tension every month or so."

"Kai..." Poe looked away. The idea that there was nothing more to their relationship than  _that..._

"You were the one who said it. I'm dedicated to being a Jedi." She then pointed to him. "You're dedicated to the Rebellion. What works about us is we don't complicate it."

Poe groaned. He _had_ said that. He hadn't meant it how it sounded now coming out of Kaila's lips. He had just meant that they were both servants to things bigger than themselves. No one they were involved with ever understood that. Still he could see the hurt on her face.

Kaila reached over and took his hand. "Poe, there are maybe ten people I really, truly care about in this galaxy. And you're one of them. Can you please stop hating me?"

Poe wrapped an arm around Kaila's shoulders and drew her to his chest. "I don't hate you." He pressed a kiss to the top of her bald head. "I hate _him_. I'm not getting over that."

"I get it." Kaila closed her eyes. "And so does he."

"And I'm pretty sure he's going to kill you in your sleep one night."

Kaila shook her head. "No... If he were to do it, I'd be armed and facing him."

She wasn't making a joke about that. Poe gave her one last squeeze. Her body was warm against him. She was warmer than any other lover he'd had, a part of her Twi'lek heritage. "You had a long and painful day. You should get to sleep."

"Please don't think of anything else you want to fight about." Kaila gave him a quick kiss on the lips before turning on her side again.

Poe fell back onto the bunk and clutched his mother's old ring.

Kriff. He was pretty sure it was getting complicated.


	15. Tatooine: Conversations

Ben woke up early. His sleep had been restless. He could sense the presence of so many people who hated him. It brought back the insomnia that had been quelled when it had only been him and Kaila on the ship.

He made his way into the galley. He needed to have some caf if he were going to get through the day. How quickly he'd gotten used to having a decent night's sleep. It hadn't bothered him when he'd been with the First Order. Now, he felt like a wreck. He had so quickly acclimated to the situation with him and Kaila.

He knew it was because the situation he had been in was so _unnatural_. His mind was constantly open to Snoke. He was constantly on alert. But with Kaila, he had been able to rest.

Now, he wasn't able to rest anymore. Dameron and FN-2187 were targeting him. He knew-- given half the chance-- they would kill him.

As he entered the galley, he paused at the sight of FN-2187 at the counter. FN-2187 was similarly frozen, cup just paused at his lips.

"Is it just us?" Ben asked in a clipped tone.

"It's early," FN-2187 replied, his voice similarly strained. "Poe, Rey and Captain Syndulla are still asleep. Rose is already looking at the hyperdrive."

"It took a lot of damage," Ben glanced to the caf machine. "Is she good?"

"The best," FN-2187 snapped. He jerked his head to the caf distiller. "Go ahead. I've already made some."

Ben warily moved towards the machine. He poured himself a cup and took a sniff of it. He couldn't detect any poison. When he couldn't, he took a sip.

"You know if you hurt Rose, Rey or Poe, I'll kill you. I don't know how, but I'll find a way."

Ben swallowed the hot, bitter drink faster than he should, burning his mouth. He licked his lips with a stinging tongue. "You should add Kaila to that list. You don't know her well, but she's a good person. She should be under your protection too."

FN-2187 laughed, gesturing to Ben. "Is this how you've convinced them all you changed? Give them sad eyes and then suggest they kill you? Good act."

"It's not an act," Ben replied. He looked down. "You know I thought about you. When I left the First Order."

FN-2187 backed up slightly. "You did?"

Ben nodded, taking a small sip of his caf. "I hated you. When you left. And then I did exactly what you did. Down to the last detail. I think I hated you because even then I wanted to do what you did."

FN-2187's lip curled. "It didn't stop you from ordering me to murder an entire village."

"I did that." Ben stood up straight. "I won't say someone tricked me or I didn't know what I was doing. I'm going to pay for everything. I know that." He nodded his head towards the door. "Kaila and Rey and my mother... They think I can be redeemed. That I can become a Jedi. I don't want to disappoint them. But I know the truth." He turned back to FN-2187. "And you do too. The only thing that can redeem me is my death. That's the only way this can end." He took a deep breath. "But I'm not just going to kill myself. I'm going to make my death matter. Make it something that will help the Rebellion defeat the First Order. So just put up with me for a little bit longer. I doubt it will be long." 

* * *

 

"I'm _sorry_ , Buddy," Poe sighed as he pulled out a handful of fried wires from the Ghost, throwing them haphazardly down onto the sand. "It wasn't a good night for you to be in my bunk with me."

BB-8 beeped and turned himself around.

"Not because of that!" Poe protested. He sighed. "A _little_ because of that. Kai and I had some things we needed to work through."

Poe sat down on the ground, a cloud of sand coming up around him. BB-8 rolled to him and bumped against him. Poe brought out a gloved hand and rubbed BB-8's round body affectionately. "Things are a bit complicated right now."

BB-8 whirred and whistled.

"Leia's orders. We don't have a choice." Poe rested his forehead against BB-8's dome. "We've got to give him a chance."

Poe hated to admit it, but maybe there was something to Ren's turn. Leia, Rey and Kaila were all certain in their beliefs. He trusted all three of them.

BB-8 chirped again, butting his dome against Poe.

"He's not going to try to take you. I won't let him."

Kaila sauntered up to them. She was wearing a loose white linen shirt and shorts. Poe wasn't surprised she had abandoned her usual leather. It was oppressively hot. She crouched down next to him. "How are you doing?"

"Fett did a number on this thing, but between Rose, Rey and me, we should be able to get it in the air in two days." Poe replied.

"You should ask Ben to help. You _know_ he's a good mechanic." She smiled mischievously. "You have to be when you grow up on a piece of dwang like the _Falcon_."

Poe sighed, setting his hydrospanner aside. He shook his head. "Do you really expect me to work with him like nothing's ever happened?"

"What other choice is there?" Kaila sighed. "If we treat him like Kylo Ren... He'll be Kylo Ren. The only thing worse than everything he's done already is him continuing to do it."

"I'll do my best," Poe sighed. "How is the navigation going?"

Kaila held out the datapad in her hand. "Well, the most direct route from here to Coruscant is the Corellian Run. But it's the most used route in the galaxy. It's also pretty well patrolled, seeing as all the smugglers use it. We should probably take this route..." She ran a green finger over a circuitous hyperspace route. "The trip will take about a week and a half, but it's the only way we'll get near Coruscant without unwanted attention."

Poe nodded. "Okay. I trust your judgment."

Kaila arched a brow. "Really?"

Poe shrugged. "On flying at least."

Kaila smiled. "Thanks for repairing my ship."

"Someone has to. You're terrible at it. Make sure we've got all the provisions we need for a long haul flight with six people on board."

BB-8 beeped.

Kaila turned to him, rubbing his dome. "Oh, Chop will be fine with you on board. You know how he can get. I'll have a talk with him."

She rose back up. Poe's gaze travelled up her long, toned legs. "I'll get to work, Commander." She gave him a salute.

Poe watched her retreat. BB-8 beeped and bumped into him.

"I wasn't staring!" Poe hissed softly.

BB-8 chirped.

Poe rolled his eyes. "Well, then you were staring too if you think that."

BB-8 made a series of whistles.

Poe went back to work, grimacing as he screwed in a replacement part. "Well what do you think?"

BB-8 chirped and rolled away.

"I am _not_ hopeless!" Poe called after the droid. He scowled and refocused himself on his work.

* * *

 

Ben wasn't exactly sure what his place in this mission was supposed to be. They were on a mission for the Rebellion. But he wasn't a member of the Rebellion, was he? But then, Kaila was a member of the Rebellion and as his master, she gave him orders. So did that set his allegiance?

Was he supposed to take orders from Dameron or Kaila? He supposed in the mind of a Rebel Captain, a Commander was in charge. Not to mention it didn't seem like Kaila would disagree with Dameron on much, unless it had to do with training him.

No one else seemed to have any idea what to do with him. Kaila seemed hesitant to continue any training under the prying eyes of the new crew. They, on the other hand, didn't seem to want him to help repair the ship, despite being infinitely qualified to do so.

With nothing better to do, Ben went for a walk through the desert. He could feel so much through this sparse world. If he just reached out with the Force a little bit, a flood of images came to him.

He saw his Uncle Luke, barely a teenager, flying some rusted old hopper through the canyon.

He saw Master Bridger at nearly the same age, being protected by Obi-Wan Kenobi-- Ben's namesake-- from a Sith Lord.

He saw his mother-- he was disturbed at how she was dressed-- using the Force subconsciously to garner the strength to use her slave chain to choke the Hutt that enslaved her. He'd known most of the story of freeing his father from Jabba, but it seemed his family had left out some key details, such as his mother's imprisonment.

There was something dark embedded in all of these visions. Something that was calling out to him. He wandered until he came to a mound of sand. It seemed no different than any other bit of dirt on the planet. But when Ben reached out with the Force, he saw it. Buried beneath layers and layers of sand, lost to the ages.

There were tents. The remains of fires that had lit the night sky. And bodies.

So many bodies.

Ben hissed as the Force opened up to him.

_I’m here, Mom. You’re safe. Hang on. I’m going to get you out of here..._

_I’m so glad... to see you, Annie... Now... I am complete..._

That was his great-grandmother. Shmi. Her name has been Shmi. Ben hadn't known that before. He wasn't even sure his mother had known that.

She had died here. That had been the spark that lit the fires of Anakin's rage. He cut down the Tusken Raiders like a vengeful demon. This has been the place where Anakin Skywalker took his first steps to becoming Darth Vader.

That was it. That was how that young, innocent slave he had seen had become the mask Kylo Ren had worshipped. It was the first step towards ruination.

It was for the love of his mother.

Ben had fallen out of fear for himself, hatred for his uncle and betrayal towards his parents.

But there was nothing noble in what Anakin had done. He had been disgusted by himself for the actions.

_I…I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children too. They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals._

Once that first step had been taken, the rest had been so easy for Anakin. More and more he gave himself over to the Dark Side until it was too late.

Anakin Skywalker had been a pitiful man. Not someone to revere as Kylo Ren had. The mask that had intimidated so many was a shell to protect a broken creature.

His own mask had done the same. They had just been broken differently.

A speeder roared to a stop by him. "Ben!" Rey called out. "What are you doing here? You had us all worried."

Ben turned to her. "All?"

"Well, you had Rose, Captain Syndulla and I worried you were hurt. You had Finn and Poe worried you were up to trouble."

"Can you feel it?" Ben asked, looking around. "What happened here?"

Rey shook her head. "No. What?"

"Never mind." Ben sighed. "Rey... Your parents sold you."

Rey's back went stiff. "We already talked about that."

"Did you think of yourself as a slave?"

"Unkar always told me they would be back. I just needed to wait for them." Rey looked down. "Looking back... I guess he wanted me to be a slave without realizing that I was. Why do you want to know?"

"My Grandfather was a slave," Ben replied. He knelt down on the ground and picked up a handful of sand, letting it run through his fingers.

"Your mother is a princess," Rey laughed. "And your dad might have been a smuggler, but..."

"My mother's father. Anakin Skywalker. _Darth Vader_." Ben bowed his head. "He was born here. He was born a slave. I saw visions of him. I don't think my mother knows. I don't even think Uncle Luke knew. You're the only person I've told."

"Why does it matter?" Rey asked.

"Because of you," Ben replied. "He came from such small beginnings... And went so far. It doesn't matter where you come from. You're not nothing. You never were. Not just to me. I see how Dameron and FN-2187 and Rose look at you. You are important to them. To the Rebellion. To the Light Side. I want you to know that. You aren't nothing. You are everything. To so many people."

He began to walk away from that place of such dark sadness. He stopped briefly, looking back at Rey, who appeared stunned. "And you still are to me too. Always."


	16. Tatooine: Introductions

What Rose was doing was not much different than when she was at the base, but she was excited. Ever since the unsanctioned mission to Canto Bight, General Organa had been relying more and more on her.

Rose had never sought the spotlight, never courted danger. She had happily worked on her own, just seeing her sister whenever she did need human company.

But since Paige had died, she found herself embracing a new life with new friends. She had never imagined they would be such titans within the Resistance-- now called the Rebellion again. Finn, the rebellious stormtrooper, Rey, the powerful Jedi and Poe Dameron, the hotshot pilot. She had admired them all from afar. But now, they were her friends. Instead of these unstoppable living legends, they were real people with quirks and interests and faults. She preferred those people to the legends that had been in her head.

Now while she was fixing the Ghost, she had another legend to get to know. Well, perhaps 'legend' was the wrong word. Myth may have been better. Captain Kaila Syndulla's ship was well named as she was like a ghost herself. She would slip in and out of the Rebel bases, just leaving them with the supplies they needed before disappearing again. She came from the famous lineage of General Hera Syndulla. Her father wasn't oft spoken of, but it seemed the rumors were true: she avoided staying in one place because her father was Clone Wars hero Kanan Jarrus. She carried the bloodline of the Jedi. Rose looked forward to getting to know her, especially as she seemed to have a special relationship with Poe. That had surprised Rose, as she'd thought Poe preferred the company of men.

The other person on their mission was even more intriguing. While there were rumors swirling around Kaila Syndulla, Ben Solo was a complete enigma. That was fascinating. Just how did the son of Rebel heroes General Leia Organa and General Han Solo end up a secret?

Well, secret wasn't entirely correct. People did know General Organa had a son. But his fate had been debated as long as Rose had been with the Rebellion. Some people said he had been killed when Kylo Ren massacred the Jedi. Others said he'd gone into seclusion with his uncle Luke Skywalker.

But there he was on Tatooine. A scruffy looking man wearing Corellian Bloodstripes with sad, brown eyes. Maybe it made sense that he was travelling with Captain Syndulla. If she were a Jedi on the run from the Knights of Ren, maybe Ben was with her for similar reasons.

Yet despite Ben's isolation from the Rebellion, there seemed to be a connection already. Rose may not have been terribly good at social interactions, but it was hard to miss the way he looked at Rey. His eyes stopped being sad and instead smoldered. Rose was fairly certain that Rey had not only noticed, but enjoyed those looks.

Ben was approaching the Ghost. He had gone out on another walk through the desert. He hadn't been helping much with the ship. That responsibility had fallen mostly to Rose, Rey, Poe and the droids. Captain Syndulla was apparently not a very skilled mechanic and neither was Finn. Why Ben wasn't being included was a mystery.

"Hey!" Rose called out to Ben.

Ben straightened up before looking around.

"I mean you!" Rose replied to his wordless question. She pointed to the panel she was working on. "Do you think you could give me a hand?"

Ben seemed to consider this request. He then ran and jumped, getting much farther off the ground than a person should have been able. He landed with a dull thud on top of the ship.

"You are a Jedi, aren't you?" Rose said, her voice filled with awe.

Ben looked down, focusing on the exposed panel. "A Padawan," He replied.

"What's that?" Rose asked, interested in knowing about the intricacies of the Jedi.

"An apprentice," Ben replied. He picked up a lubricant gun and added some to a hinge to open it. "I'm studying under Kaila."

"Where have you been?" Rose asked quietly. "Everyone thought you were dead." She realized how horrible that sounded. "I don't mean... Well... I mean, your parents are just... Your parents. And you disappeared. So people thought you might have..."

"I was lost for a long time," Ben replied quietly, still not meeting her eye. "But I'm not anymore. So now I'm here."

"I'm glad you are." Rose smiled brightly.

Ben looked up slowly. He cocked his head at Rose, furrowing his brow. "You are?"

Rose nodded. "Uh-huh. I mean, your family are heroes! There's no one like them in the galaxy! And if you're anything like them..."

"I'm not," Ben answered quickly.

Rose frowned, going back to rewiring a component. "Still... I think Rey is excited you're here."

"You do?" Ben's voice sounded hopeful.

"She's been looking for more Jedi since I met her. She was worried she was going to have to train them all herself. But you and Captain Syndulla are here... And I heard that there's a Master Bridger... With you guys, we might have a chance."

Ben nodded. "More Jedi would help. Yes." His hand tightened around a riveting gun. "I'm sure Kaila and Master Bridger will be good for that."

He was growing maudlin again. Rose should change the subject. "Have you ever been to Coruscant?"

Ben nodded. "Yes. But not for a long time."

"I've never been that far into the core," Rose said quietly. "I mean... That's it, isn't it? The shining jewel of the Republic?" She looked down. "I know how much the Empire tore it apart, but I'm still curious. You hear stories."

"It's buildings," Ben replied. "Buildings that cover the entire planet. Some people go their whole lives without seeing daylight." He paused. "I never met any of them. But... I heard about them. At the center of it all is a great temple. Once the beating heart of the Jedi Order." He shook his head and looked back down at his work. "But then Darth Sidious turned it into his palace."

"I bet the First Order want to do that again."

Ben went quiet for a long time, as if he were thinking about a distant memory. "They do."

* * *

 

Finn pushed the repulsorlift onto the Ghost. He'd been sent into Mos Eisley to gather supplies for the trip. With six humans and the Ghost only outfitted for two, they needed a whole lot more.

Captain Syndulla was on the comm system, while Poe and BB-8 were working on an open duct.

"All right, Doman... Thanks for this. I'll just place a bet in your name in the Boonta Eve Classic. That should square us. You always know how to pick a winner." She pulled off her headset. "All right. I've got us a landing permit for Coruscant. We'll be able to get into airspace without any problem."

BB-8 whistled.

"That's right, isn't it?" Poe climbed out of the duct and stood up. He hovered over Captain Syndulla. "Doman is your ex-boyfriend."

"And one of the best smugglers in the galaxy. He's got no love for the First Order and if we're paying him, he's keeping his mouth shut. Don't worry. He has no idea what we're doing with the permit."

Poe slipped a hand behind Captain Syndulla's neck, beneath her headtails and tilted up her head. "Still. I think you need some new contacts."

"Do you?" She nodded slowly, leaning up. Poe leaned in closer to her.

Finn cleared his throat.

Poe jerked his hand away, jumping back. "Finn! Glad you're back! We've got almost everything together. We should be all set to take off by sunset, just as long as you've got everything."

Finn nodded. He looked over the boxes. "Didn't come cheap."

"Because everything needs to be imported onto this sandtrap." Captain Syndulla rose from her chair and stretched. "I really should've gone. Jedi discount and all."

"Is _that_ how you're always able to get stuff for the Rebellion?" Poe laughed. "That doesn't seem very Jedi-like."

"It's for the greater good." Captain Syndulla sauntered back towards Finn. "I'll help you load everything away."

"All right. You two take care of that," Poe said. "BB-8, you and Chop help me with the finishing touches in the cockpit."

BB-8 beeped and rolled to Chopper, doing a loop around the old, battered droid. Chopper made a grinding noise and brought out his pincer, pushing BB-8 away.

"Be nice!" Captain Syndulla called out to Chopper. "BB-8 is just trying to be friendly."

Finn watched Captain Syndulla as she began to unload the repulsorlift. He hadn't really seen a Twi'lek up close before. He'd heard about them, of course. They were the subject of many inappropriate jokes.

"Captain Syndulla?"

"You can call me Kaila. I'm not really fancy." Captain Syndulla-- Kaila-- glanced up and smiled warmly at Finn.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Finn asked.

Kaila turned and began to put rations away into compartments on the ship. "Depends. Does it have to do with my apprentice or my undefined relationship with your friend?"

Finn shook his head. "No. I mean, I do have questions about those, but that wasn't what I was going to ask."

Kaila turned back, smiling. "Then ask away."

"You're a Jedi. But... I thought the Jedi were gone. Until Rey."

Kaila paused. Her headtails twitched. "You'll find the Jedi are very dramatic people. Exterminating an entire group of people is... Very hard. In an entire galaxy? Nearly impossible. There will always be a few who get past. My father was an apprentice Jedi named Caleb Dume. He fought in the Clone Wars. He faked his death and went into hiding as Kanan Jarrus." She smiled softly. "He met my mother years later and she brought him into the Rebellion. Together, they met Ezra Bridger, the man who would become my Jedi Master. They were all heroes. Not as famous as Master Skywalker or General Organa or General Solo... But heroes all the same. My father was killed before I was born. Because of my Force powers, I was hidden with a dear friend, a brave warrior named Ahsoka. And then when the hostilities ended, I returned to my mother. I studied as Ezra's Padawan. When Master Skywalker's school was massacred-- When Kylo Ren killed them-- I wasn't there. I was with my Master. He taught me in the old ways. Master to Padawan. It kept us safe. Since then I've just kept my head down, watched my back. If I don't draw attention to myself, I can survive."

The story Kaila wove was fascinating. Finn thought he knew all of the heroes of the Rebellion, but he hadn't heard of Kanan Jarrus or Ezra Bridger or this Ahsoka. "So you think there are more Jedi out there?"

Kaila shrugged. "I don't know. So many were purged in Order 66. I'm sure more than my father and Ahsoka survived initially. But it's been fifty years. Most would have died from old age by now. I have no idea if the Knights of Ren tracked down all of Master Skywalker's students or all of Ezra's. Ezra only trained one at a time, but he had students before me and more after me. But those are just the ones who followed the Jedi teachings. People who can use the Force?" She smiled. "Your friend Rey... She's the first drop that will cause the flood. There are people all over this galaxy who had no idea of their powers. People who call themselves seers and healers. Just waiting to be discovered. The Force is eternal. Both the light and the dark. It will always exist. Nothing that destroy it for good."

Finn frowned slightly. "But Rey said you didn't want to train Jedi with her..."

"I don't," Kaila replied. "I follow the old ways. Master and Apprentice. Rey wants to rebuild Luke's temple, teach as he did. Undo what Kylo Ren did. But I take a different approach."

Finn felt the anger bubbling up inside him, but he quickly pushed it down. "Your approach is training Kylo Ren?"

"Poe told me about you, you know? He told me so much, I'm a bit jealous." She looked down. "But I know what you've been through. What Kylo Ren did to you. But that's not who I have here. Master Skywalker used to say.... The brighter the light, the darker the shadow. That's what I see with Ben. If the Jedi are to recover, I think we need him. The Skywalker lineage is one of legend in the Jedi. Anakin Skywalker was the Chosen One. The one who would bring balance to the Force." She sighed. "And as painful as what he did was, as horrible as it was... He did that. He burnt away the corruption of the old Jedi Order and left something new in its place. The Skywalker legacy has to continue. To finish what Anakin started."

Finn thought back on his conversation with Kylo Ren. How Ren was certain he would die to save the Rebellion. "Do you really think he can do it?"

Kaila sighed. "If not... Than the Force help us all."


	17. The Ghost: Bonding

The Ghost has been in the air for a few hours. The doors to the cockpit slid open and Poe stepped in. BB-8 rolled in behind him. "Our illustrious crew has gone to their quarters. Now that we're on course, you coming too?"

"Mm." Kaila leaned back in the pilot's seat. "Thought I'd sit up for a bit and watch the stars. Enjoy the quiet."

Poe looked out onto the brilliant starscape. The tiny pinpricks turned to lines as they streaked by. It was gorgeous. Whenever he was flying these days, he hardly ever got a chance to appreciate it. "Mind if I join you?"

"Hm." Kaila looked back at him. "I suppose it can be quiet with you here."

Poe grinned and reached beneath Kaila. He supported her back and knees and lifted her up, setting her on her feet. He slid into the pilot's seat.

"There are three other seats in here, flyboy," Kaila said, putting her hands on her hips. "Why do you need the pilot's seat?"

"You will find, Captain Syndulla," Poe teased. He leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. "While this mission is in progress, I am commander of this vessel."

"Commander of the _mission_ ," Kaila protested. She pointed to herself. "This is _my_ ship."

Poe gestured down. "We could share."

Kaila licked her lips in thought. She then slipped into Poe's lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned her head back against his shoulder as she looked out of the viewport.

BB-8 gave a low whistle, his dome leaning in towards the chair.

"Come on, buddy," Poe whispered. He gestured to Kaila.

BB-8 extended his welding torch in a supportive gesture.

"Thanks Pal."

The droid rolled back out of the cockpit. Poe looked back to see BB-8 cut Chopper off before the older, grumpy droid could come in. Poe smiled in relief as the cockpit doors slid shut.

"You know," Kaila murmured. "I'd been thinking of falling asleep right here in the cockpit."

"Do I snore that loudly?" Poe asked, giving her a playful squeeze.

"No, I just love this cockpit." Kaila sighed deeply, snuggling further into him. "Jai and I used to sit with Mama and she'd teach us to fly. Those were... The best times I ever spent with her."

Poe felt Kaila's hand brush his. He laced their fingers together. Sadness welled in him. He had memories like that of his own mother. While they were wonderful memories, they were tinged by the loss of her far too young.

"Mama was always... I couldn't touch her. She seemed so... Above me. Fighting in the Rebellion. Then helping the New Republic get on its feet. I know we were never part of her plan. I think she only had us because Dad died. She couldn't get rid of the last piece of him."

"Your mother..." Poe's voice was thick. "My mother... They just wanted to make the galaxy safe for us. For everyone."

Kaila nodded. "I know. That's why I wanted to be like her. But the only time I've ever feel like her is when I'm in this seat." She sighed. "You know, I never even told Jai that. I don't think he'd understand. He was always mom's favourite."

"She's proud of you," Poe replied.

"Shara is proud of you too."

Poe buried his face in Kaila's shoulder. He didn't have the same faith that she did. Even if he did, Shara wasn't a Jedi. She wasn't a part of the Force.

"We're all a part of the Force," Kaila explained. "Once the body is gone... The spirit remains. Becomes a part of the Cosmic Force." Kaila's lekku curled into Poe's shirt and pulled out the chain around his neck with his mother's wedding ring. "She's still with you."

Poe was overwhelmed with the emotions in him. He decided to push them aside, looking up and back out the viewport. "You know... I never get to enjoy this anymore. Just flying through space. Someone's always shooting at me now."

"You've always like the adrenaline rush," Kaila replied.

"But it's nice to just... Experience space." Poe sighed against her shoulder.

"You could make your stay here more permanent. I could use the company. The Phantom III is getting pretty old. We could modify the holding bay for an X-Wing."

Poe groaned. That did sound tempting. Just being up in space for who knows how long. Nothing around them but the stars. But he had a responsibility to the Rebellion. They needed him at the base. More and more Leia was grooming him for leadership.

"It's okay," Kaila whispered. "I know. You've got to go back."

"It's very tempting. I never get to do this anymore." Poe leaned back in the chair. "I'm surprised Leia even ordered me to come on this mission."

"I'm not." Kaila shook her head. "Leia is a smart lady. Everyone here was chosen for a reason. You and Finn and Ben need to learn to put aside your hostilities. Ben needs someone like Rose to see him as something other than Kylo Ren. Rey and I need to get to know each other so we can reform the Jedi. Everyone on this mission is raw when it comes to working as a group, so you can learn how to lead."

Poe smiled. He leaned in to Kaila's ear. "And you and I need to work out our tension before we bring it back to base again."

"Tension? What tension?" Kaila sighed and brought her hand back and slid it into Poe's hair. "Hardly something a General would worry about."

Poe moaned as slender fingers carded through his locks. "You really like playing with my hair."

"Well, I don't have my own," Kaila retorted. "So I'm living vicariously."

"I don't have these..." Poe nuzzled his nose against Kaila's lekku. "I should do the same."

At the brush of his nose against her headtail, Kaila arched and moaned softly. Poe held her tighter. He slid his open mouth across the length of green flesh, letting his tongue dart out over it. The appendage twitched against his lips and he doubled his efforts, making the woman in his arms squirm. It seemed  like a simple act-- like it should've just been the equivalent of kissing a person's hand-- but with Kaila's reactions it was sensual and intimate. Poe pressed against Kaila's bottom as he continued his oral ministrations, stroking the lekku's twin with his fingertips.

"This is not quietly watching the stars," Kaila moaned.

"You are the one making the noise," Poe murmured against her skin. "Would you like me to stop?"

Kaila slipped her hands from his hair and turned around. Her cheeks had taken on a reddish hue. Poe smiled at her before leaning in, pressing his lips to hers. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too." While things may have felt like they were growing more complicated, in some ways it was so incredibly easy. He may have been off on a difficult mission to the center of the galaxy, with his worst enemy on the crew... But he had a beautiful woman in his arms. One he could talk to and understood what he was thinking and feeling.

He opened his mouth to say something else, but Kaila snuggled up against him, her head resting on his shoulder. He realized he didn't want anymore words. He just wanted to sit there and watch the stars as they went by. 

* * *

 

"Does anyone know you're here?" Ben asked. He sat cross-legged on the floor of his bunk.

Rey was sitting across from him. She shook her head. "No. Finn and Rose were already in their bunk. Poe went into the cockpit with Captain Syndulla."

"Are you sure you want to be here?"

Rey nodded.

Ben looked Rey over. Her hair was loose in waves around her shoulders. She was wearing a white sleeveless shirt and black sleeping pants. "Are you sure? You look like you're ready to sleep."

"I needed to take a sonic once we were off that planet," Rey whispered. "I don't like sand. It's so rough and irritating."

Ben looked over Rey's hands. He remembered the feel of them. They were tough from years on her own desert planet, scavenging for anything to survive. But he hadn't found it unpleasant. The opposite. "You should get a map of the galaxy and cross off all the desert worlds. Never go to ones like that again."

"You needed help," Rey replied.

Ben looked to the lightsaber on her hip. He hadn't yet asked her, but it had been weighing on his mind. "Where did you get that?"

Rey looked down. "I went back to the First Jedi Temple. I wanted to bring your uncle's body to your mother. But..."

"It wasn't there," Ben finished. "When a Jedi gives himself over to the Force, his body disappears."

"Oh." Rey withdrew her hand from Ben's caress and touched the hilt. "I found this in his things. That's what I brought your mother. She told me to keep it. Until I can finish my new one."

"What happened to the other one?" Ben asked. "I don't remember. I just saw a bright, white light."

"It broke." Rey's caressed the lightsaber in a way Ben wished she would touch him. "We split it."

"I'm sure you'll fix it." Ben reached out a hand. "Rey."

It was so much like the moment when he'd offered her the galaxy. Except this time, she took his hand. The effect was almost instantaneous. He felt the bond flood open. Her thoughts and feelings flowed through him. It had never been like this before. Their bonds had always been intimate, but skin on skin... Spirit on spirit....

Ben let his fingers dance over hers, over her palm, up her wrist. Every touch felt like an electric jolt through his body. He saw her as a child, scavenging through the ship graveyard on Jakku. He saw her first meeting with the BB unit. He saw himself, looming over her menacingly. She had thought he was terrifying in his gleaming black helmet.

He saw himself as a child. His uncle was lifting him up in the air with the Force, until his father grabbed him a spun him around to his delight. He saw Kaila giving him a piggyback ride through the corridor of the Ghost. He saw himself rising, taking off his helmet to face Rey for the first time.

His hands continued to slide over her bare skin, up her arm to her slender neck. One molded to her cheek and her felt her move slightly, an open mouthed kiss pressed to the palm. Rey's hands weren't idle, rucking beneath his shirt to smooth over his taut abdominals.

He panted for breath, finding it impossible to catch. A sweat was breaking out on his brow. He needed more. He needed to be closer. He needed his soul to meld with hers utterly, until he couldn't tell one from the other.

Rey let out a small cry of ecstasy. Ben wanted to grab her, to pull her tight against his body. Merge body and soul at the same time.

How long would it take? How long until he was truly worthy of her? Would he ever be able to be a Jedi?

He knew Rey had questions too. They were singing to him through their link. He needed more. So much more.

There was a mighty lurch. Ben's eyes flew open and he withdrew his hands from Rey as if she'd burned him. The room was filling quickly with red light.

His pack had burst open. The small ornate pyramids he'd taken from his quarters on the Finalizer had spilled out. The Sith Holocrons. They were bursting open, brilliant light bursting forth from them.

He could see light from across the corridor, seeping through the door. He jumped to his feet and opened the door, racing to the corridor. Rey was close by him. It was blinding, the light pouring from Kaila's room.

The cockpit opened and Kaila and Dameron ran in. FN-2187 and Rose emerged from their room. The non-Force users looked confused, but Kaila's expression was one of utter anger and terror. "What have you _done_?"


	18. The Ghost: Fallout

"What's going on?" FN-2187 demanded. Everyone was raising their hands to their faces, to try to block out the brilliant, blinding glow. It was growing brighter by the minute.

"It's the Holocrons," Kaila explained. "They're opening... All of them." She turned to Rey and Ben. "What did you _do_? How did this happen?"

"I don't know!" Ben cried. He shook his head fiercely. "It just happened!"

"How do we stop it?" Rey called out. The glow seemed to be dulling the volume of everything. All of their senses were being ripped apart.

Kaila stepped forward. She extended her hands towards the open doors of the bunks. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back. Ben wanted to help her, but he didn't know what to do. He was frozen. He didn't even truly understand what had happened. Kaila's face contorted with pure agony and her mouth opened with a soundless cry. She seemed to be struggling to breath.

The light slowly receded and reality seemed to right itself. Kaila's body was quivering. She turned to Ben and Rey. "You two--"

Her body slumped. Dameron raced forward and caught her in his arms. He scooped her up. "Kai!" He hustled her into their bunk-- the rest following close after him-- and laid her down on the bed. He shook her, cradling her face. "Kai... Babe... Talk to me."

"Is she going to be alright?" Rose asked worriedly.

"I don't know." Dameron looked up. "I don't even know what happened. I need a medisensor."

FN-2187 rushed out of the room.

"She's exhausted herself," Ben explained. He knelt down next to the bed. "She's expelled too much Force energy in one moment."

Dameron hadn't looked scared when the light was consuming the ship. He'd looked confused. He looked scared now. "Will she be okay?"

"I don't know," Ben admitted honestly. "I've never seen this before. Holocrons aren't just things to teach you the Force... They are _made_ of the Force. Master Bridger closed one one that had joined with a Sith Holocron. He said it was incredibly difficult."

There was still fear in Dameron's dark eyes, but now there was anger as well. "How _many_ holocrons are on this ship?"

Ben swallowed hard. "Every single one known to exist still. I brought a dozen on board, plus whatever Kaila had."

Dameron turned Kaila's wrist, pressing fingers to her wrist. "She has a pulse. Finn! Where's that sensor?"

FN-2187 ran back in with the sensor. He handed it to Dameron, who scanned Kaila's body. He sighed in relief. "Physically, she's going to be fine. Depending on how long she's out, I might need to give her a nutrient line, but she should wake up eventually."

Ben watched as Dameron set down the scanner and took hold of Kaila's hand. It was limp in his. He squeezed it tenderly, raising it up and pressing a kiss to the green skin. He took an audible, shaky breath, as if he were containing rampant emotions. "Finn, Rose... Go back to your bunk."

FN-2187 and Rose quickly ran out. Dameron carefully set down Kaila's hand and turned slowly, his expression dark as he looked over Ben and Rey. "You two. Into the back. We're going to have a talk."

Dameron led them to the lounge. BB-8 and Chopper saw them coming and immediately rolled away to safety. Dameron pointed to the seats. "Sit down. Tell me what the kriff just happened."

"Honestly Poe, we don't know..." Rey replied. "We were..." She hesitated and quickly glanced to Ben. He knew what she was thinking, even if they weren't joined any longer. They couldn't tell him the full truth. "We were meditating. Together."

Ben supposed it wasn't a complete lie, although it hardly seemed like the truth either. "Holocrons can be sensitive. But I've never heard of this happening."

"I don't understand _any_ of this." Dameron's voice was gruff with rage. "And I don't care. Whatever it was... It could have gotten us all killed. As it is, Kaila is out and I don't know when she'll wake up."

"If there's anything we can do..." Rey started.

"There isn't," Dameron snapped. "Just _whatever_ you were doing, I won't have my crew endangering itself. When we get back to base, the holocrons are going to the General. There is too much power for them to all be on the same ship."

He paced the lounge. "I need to keep an eye on Kaila. You two are done with your meditations?"

Rey nodded. "Yes."

"Without question. Whatever you did, I'm ordering you not to do it again. Go to your bunks. You're both confined to quarters until further notice."

Dameron strode back towards his own bunk. Ben followed after him. "Dameron..."

Dameron glared at him. "What do you want?"

Ben looked down, feeling a little stupid for bringing it up. But he owed Kaila after what had just happened. "You should tell her."

"Tell her wh--" Dameron blinked, then shook his head savagely. "I don't see what any business it is of yours. This is a command decision. You nearly destroyed the ship. My second in command is unconscious."

"Tell her," Ben repeated. "This galaxy is harsh and cruel. But sometimes you find someone who makes it a little bit better... And you should let them know that."

Dameron looked away. "Go to your quarters. That's an order."

"Take care of her," Ben murmured. "She shouldn't be hurt because of my mistakes."

Dameron glared at him. "No, she shouldn't. Your mistakes have hurt too many people already."

* * *

 

"Can you hear anything? Rose asked from the bed, keeping her voice low.

Finn had his ear pressed up against the metal door, right where the two halves met each other. "Poe laying into..." He paused, mentally correcting his near mistake. "Ben."

Rose brought her knees up, hugging them. "What's he saying?"

"How they nearly destroyed the ship. Never heard Poe this angry." Finn sighed, moving away from the door. "Ben gave him some line about..." No, he wasn't going to talk about it. Poe's relationship was obviously something that was tricky. Poe hadn't mentioned it, but clearly it meant something. It wasn't his place to discuss it with Rose.

"About what?" Rose blinked up at him.

Finn shook his head, striding back to the bed. "It doesn't matter. Not important."

"I don't understand what happened," Rose still kept her voice low. "What was that light? I've never seen anything like it."

"Kaila said they were holocrons." Finn shook his head. "I don't really know anything about them. But if they're made up with the Force..."

"What do you think Ben and Rey did?"

That was something Finn was really interested in. Just what were those two doing together? Why did it seem like everything was forgiven with Ren in Rey's eyes? If anyone should've held a grudge against him, it was her. But she was accepting him as Ben Solo. Thought he could change.

Finn was still uncertain. The conversation he'd had with Ren, he'd seen just a flicker of humanity... But wasn't that something that could be faked? What if Ren had been the one to really cause the explosion, in attempt to kill them all?

But then, wouldn't that have killed him as well?

Finn sighed. He shook his head and shucked his shirt. He climbed into bed next to Rose. "I don't know." He wrapped an arm around Rose, drawing her close. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I guess we'll have to ask Rey."

Definitely. There were more than few things Finn wanted to discuss with his friend. He drew Rose closer. He had been worried about her before with Ren on the ship. At least he could stay close to her. But what was he supposed to do if something else like this were to happen? There was no protecting Rose from a hole being blown into the side of the ship by Force powers.

"We're going to be fine," Rose said, reading his mood. "If Poe was really worried, he'd scrub the mission."

He hoped Poe's head would be in the mission. Kaila's injury had clearly shaken him. While he didn't know for certain what Ren had been talking about with Poe, he had a fairly good idea. Finn knew that if anything were to happen to Rose, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on what he had to do for the Rebellion.

Finn looked down at Rose, at her worried face. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her mouth.

"What was that for?" Rose asked.

"Does it need to be for anything?" Finn replied.

"I guess not." Rose sighed. "Do you think everything's going to be okay?"

Finn shook his head. "No. I don't." 

* * *

 

Rey felt awful. She couldn't believe what she and Ben had done. They'd nearly destroyed the ship and gotten Captain Syndulla injured. They had been absolutely reckless. She thought back on when Luke had told her she had gone straight towards the Dark Side, not even questioning it, when she'd been on Ahch-to.

What made it all worse is she wanted to do it _again_. She'd told Poe that she wouldn't, but she felt the desire deep within her.

She wasn't even sure what had really happened. Well, part of her knew what had happened. She wasn't completely ignorant to lust. She had never indulged in her desires with another person. She'd been too protective of herself, unwilling to open herself up to anyone.

Her protectiveness fell away when she was with Ben. She knew-- of all people-- she should be wary of him. Even with all of the strides he'd made, part of him was still Kylo Ren. He'd still done horrible things.

Yet she couldn't stop her wants. She'd been full of hatred and horror when she'd been taken aboard Ren's ship, but when she saw his face she'd felt the instant attraction. It had only grown with their bond. Now, she wanted everything-- anything. She wanted to be with him, physically and spiritually. When they'd been in Ben's quarters, she'd been ready to climb him like a wookiee up a wroshyr. She wanted to touch and be touched, to feel all of his spirit flood through her.

Rey walked to the wall of her bunk. She pressed her hand against it. Ben was on the other side. She could feel him there. She closed her eyes. She was sure he was standing like she was, hand on the opposite side, wishing the metal would melt away so they could be together again.

 _We can't do this_ , she heard Ben's voice in her head.

"We told Poe we wouldn't," Rey replied.

 _We hurt my Master,_ Ben added. _I don't know when she's going to be alright. She's given me so much and this is what I've given her in return. The Rebellion wants this mission to continue. We have to stop this. Let the mission finish._

Rey closed her eyes tightly. "But we're not with each other right now. This might be okay."

_No. It's too much of a risk. I don't know what will set things off. I lose control with you. We can't._

Rey felt the connection break off abruptly. It was like a jolt through her. Had that been what Ben had felt when she'd closed the door on the Millennium Falcon just as she closed their bond? She'd felt his desperation in the moment before she severed their ties.

She felt that desperation now. That utter longing to feel him once again. Ben was right. She knew that. She wanted to say it herself, but her heart was screaming for her to continue onward, to explore further. Ben was in her blood now. She needed to continue this exploration or else she might just go mad.

Rey flopped herself back onto her bunk. She knew sleep wasn't going to come easy. She hadn't felt so alone in a very long time.


	19. The Ghost: Emotions

Ben sighed, flat on his back on his bunk. He didn't want to do anything. He didn't trust himself to do anything. Every time he did something, he seemed to mess it up. Maybe if he stopped doing anything, nothing else would happen.

He thought back on what Kaila had said about what she thought Darth Vader-- Anakin Skywalker-- would have done if he had survived the Battle of Endor. Isolation seemed like a fairly good option.

Of course, Kaila had also told him that he had to make a choice. He had to try to redeem himself or kill himself. She still thought there was potential in him. Where would isolation fall in her group of choices? He could just not become a Jedi. Cut himself off from the Force. He knew there had been Jedi who had done that before. Maybe it would've been for the best.

But then he thought about Rey. What would Rey think of him abandoning everyone to lock himself away on some remote world? If he did that, he would cut himself off from her completely.

Could he do that? Could he bring himself to leave her? They'd both been abandoned... He wasn't sure he could bring himself to make her lose someone else.

He had failed his Master. Kaila had _told_ him that it was for the best that he didn't go to the Resistance. That he didn't go to Rey. Was this was she had meant? Had she known the explosive feelings that would arise in him?

He was intoxicated by her. He had only been intoxicated once, but the sensations Rey brought out in him were so similar. He felt out of control. He had been overthinking it when it was simply through the Force Bond. He didn't know how to talk to her. But when they had let their bodies-- their souls-- do the talking for them...

He shivered at the memory of it. He couldn't think about it. Even thinking about it risked opening up the Force Bond between him and Rey. He had no idea what would set off the Holocrons again.

She was dangerous for his self-discipline. She pleaded with him to give in to the heady sensations. A beautiful temptress, luring him towards destruction.

How could the face of his salvation also bring him to such ruination?

The door to quarters opened. FN-2187 came in carrying a tray of food. He set it down on the desk. "Poe asked me to bring this in for you. He says you and Rey are no longer confined to quarters though. You can come out when you like."

"I'm fine here," Ben muttered. "Is there anything else, FN-2187?"

"Finn," he insisted. "My name is _Finn_."

"Finn." Ben sighed, sitting up. He looked at the food that had been provided for him, but wasn't terribly hungry. "I find it strange if you hate the First Order so much that you should pick a name based on your designation."

"What other name am I supposed to use?" FN-2187-- _Finn_ \-- snapped.

"Do you ever wonder what your birth name was?"  Ben looked over Finn coldly, trying not to show any emotions on his face. As if he were Kylo Ren again. However, Kylo Ren would never have this kind of discussion with a stormtrooper.

"No," Finn snapped in reply. He cocked his head. "Why? Do you know?"

Ben met his eyes. They were curious. "I know what happened to your family."

Finn sat down in the chair by the desk. "What?" The question seemed to slip from his lips before he had time to question it and he looked surprised by it.

Ben sighed. "You're what? Twenty-three? Twenty-Four? They were killed by Grand Admiral Sloane as part of her youth recruitment program. She raided a dozen colonies in the Unknown Region as well as ten space stations. All human children under the age of five were kept for the stormtrooper program. Everyone else was killed. Both the colonies and stations were razed. There was nothing left of them."

Finn looked down. He clasped his hands together. "So my birth name..."

Ben shook his head. "The First Order didn't keep records of Stormtrooper birth names. As far as Sloane was concerned, you didn't have one."

"Then why did you bring it up?" Finn demanded. He stood up, kicking the chair away. "What do you think I get out of knowing what your goons did?"

"They weren't mine," Ben insisted. "I didn't join the First Order for fifteen years after that."

"You worked with them," Finn snapped. "You might not have done it to me, but you did it to other children."

Ben shook his head. "I didn't work in the Stormtrooper Program. That was Hux. When I left, I had actually negotiated with the Kaminoans to create a new clone army."

"How can you think these things are okay to say?" Finn demanded. "You're horrible. And you don't care."

"You have no idea my level of caring." Ben continued stare at Finn, schooling his face to remain emotionless. "I simply do not see the need to pretend I didn't do what I did while I was with the First Order. I did them. I did them all. It's a fact I can't change. I won't pretend to be something I am not. Unlike you."

Finn balled his fists. "I never--"

"You were a stormtrooper," Ben pointed out. He rose to his feet, towering over Finn. "I know you never killed anyone. Captain Phasma told me that. However, you still did horrible things to assist the First Order."

"I never had a _choice_ ," Finn snarled.

"I did. It wasn't much of one." Ben moved closer to Finn. They were almost nose-to-nose. "I can't remember a time when Supreme Leader Snoke wasn't in my head. He was there for years... Long before I'd joined the First Order. When I was just a child. He'd whisper to me. Try to influence me. Wear me down. And then--" He slid his finger across his throat, a mockery of what he'd done to one of the students at Luke's temple. "I'm not defending my choice. I'm explaining it. I should have been stronger. I wasn't."

He walked to the door. "I hope I am now." He gestured for Finn to leave. "Thank you for the food."

* * *

 

Rey stood in the door of Poe and Captain Syndulla's bunk. Poe was sitting on the edge of the bunk, clutching Captain Syndulla's hand tightly, pressing it to his forehead. BB-8 warbled sadly at the sight of her, causing Poe to look up. "Rey. Hi."

"Have you left at all?" Rey asked quietly. She stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

Poe shook his head. "I don't want to leave her." He laughed sadly. "It's strange. I've lost a lot of people. That kind of comes with the job. But it's like something is keeping me glued to the spot. Like if I leave, she'll slip away."

"Do you need anything?" Rey placed her hand on his shoulder gently.

Poe shook his head. "Maybe convince that one--" He pointed a finger from his free hand to BB-8. "--To hook himself up for charging. I don't need to be watched."

Rey sat down in chair by Captain Syndulla's desk. "You care for her a great deal."

Poe sighed. "I was thinking about it... Aside from my dad and Leia, I don't think I've known anyone longer than Kai and her brother. Everyone else is gone. I was seven. General Syndulla brought them to my mother's memorial. Afterward, I didn't want to leave my room. They dragged me out and took me to the Massassi Temple. It was kilometres from where I lived, but we didn't care. We saw where the Rebellion had won its first victories."

Rey reached out a pet BB-8 on the dome as he sadly bowed it. "And you two have stayed close all these years."

"In and out of each others lives. I mean, we lived on different planets and she was doing her training. Of course, I didn't know about that at first. Not until..."

"Not until what?" Rey probed. It seemed Poe wanted to get out his feelings. She should offer him that chance, considering it was her fault he was in such distress.

"I'd gone to the Academy. I hadn't even started orientation when Kai showed up. She wanted to wish me luck. Tried to convince her to stick around a little while. I didn't really know anyone and I was nervous. But... She said she didn't know when she was going to see me again. Because she was learning to be a Jedi. She was going to Master Skywalker's temple. I couldn't believe she'd kept it from me. She told me that she only told people she knew she could trust." He looked away. "That was when we first..."

Rey shook her head. "When you were in the Academy? But that must have been years ago! All this time and you two have never..."

"Been more than _friends_?" Poe sighed. "No. I was busy with the academy and then the fleet and the the Resistance... She was busy being a Jedi." He sighed. "I thought about it. One time. I'd just gotten a promotion in the fleet. Kai had left the temple and had come to see me. She stayed a good while. And I thought... Maybe this is the time. You two have known each other this long... Why not try it for real?"

Rey frowned. "Why didn't you?"

Poe's expression darkened. "She disappeared before I had the chance. Left a holo explaining to me what happened. Ben Solo had destroyed the Jedi temple... And every other Jedi who was still alive was being hunted. For a long time I thought Ben-- Kylo Ren-- might have found her. I didn't see her again until after I joined the Resistance. By that point we made it business as usual."

Rey looked down. "And you never told her?"

"What was the point?" Poe asked, his voice taking on a hard edge. "We'd missed our shot. Maybe it wasn't meant to be."

Rey swallowed hard. He thoughts had turned to Ben. Seeing such raw emotion in Poe just reminded her of the reject she had received. "Poe... Can I ask you something? And will you not get mad or ask me any questions in return?"

Poe blinked, looking confused. "Rey, what is it?"

Rey closed her eyes, trying to gird herself for the question. "If you tell yourself you're not in love with someone enough times... Do you eventually believe it?"

Poe opened his mouth in surprise, before he licked his lips. He shook his head. "In my experience no. If you love someone and you try to convince yourself you're not... Mask it with as many lies, as many other people as you want... The second they come back around... You can't stop feelings." He cocked his head. "You had to know I was lying: Why are you asking me?"

Rey jumped up. "No reason." Her hands were already sweating.

Poe looked her over. He shook his head. "Kriff...." He rubbed his temple. "Meditation, my ass."

"What?" Rey shook her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I don't think you're asking me because you're trying to get over Finn. Which I think is a mistake, personally. If it wasn't for Rose, you two would've been good together." Poe shook his head savagely. "You've been asking me about Ben's redemption. You delivered yourself to the First Order in order to save him. And now... _Meditation_. I'm not stupid, Rey. How long has this been going on?"

"It's nothing!" Rey insisted. "It's just..."

Poe pointed at the chair. "Rey, sit your ass back down and tell me what's going on. Are you in love with Kylo Ren?"

Rey sat back down. "No, I am most definitely not in love with Kylo Ren."

Poe nodded. "Alright. Are you in love with Ben Solo?"

Rey went quiet.

"Rey."

"I feel for him," Rey admitted. "I don't know what it means yet. I'm _drawn_ to him." She shook her head. "Poe, you can't tell Finn or Rose."

Poe ran his hand over his face. "Rey... Did you nearly blow up the ship while you..." He cringed. "I can't even say it..."

"No! Not that. Not... That far." Rey shook her head. "We weren't... We have a connection. When we're together it gets intense."

Poe squeezed his eyes shut. "Rey, did you jeopardize our mission, nearly kill us and put Kaila into a coma by _making out_ with a man who has tried to kill us all?"

Rey huffed out a breath. "It sounds bad when you say it."

"It's pretty bad!"

Rey jumped back to her feet. "You said you can't stop feelings!"

Poe rolled his eyes. " _My_ feelings are for a Jedi with wanderlust and strong sense of self-preservation. _Your_ feelings are for a genocidal, patricidal manchild."

Rey shook her head. "You're wrong. That's not who he is anymore."

She stalked to the door.

"Rey... As your commander, I can order you to stay away from him."

Rey looked back. "Are you going to?"

Poe sighed. "As your friend, I'm going to tell you that you should."

Rey frowned deeply as she opened the door. "I hope Captain Syndulla gets better soon." With that, she left Poe.

As she stepped out of the bunk and shut the door, she nearly ran into a broad chest. She looked up at Ben. He was blinking down at her. "Oh."

"I was going to check on Kaila," Ben said. "But I heard shouting."

Rey looked back at the bunk. "I wouldn't go in there right now."

"Why not?" Ben asked. He was so close. She felt the desire swell up inside of her, despite Poe's warnings.

"Well...."

The door opened once again and BB-8 rolled out, pushing himself between them. Rey had to jump back to allow the insistent droid through. BB-8 continued to roll against Ben, pushing him back further. He scowled. "What is it doing?"

Rey glowered back at Poe's door. "I think what he's been asked."


	20. The Ghost: Ties

Poe sat next to the bed, looking over Kaila. BB-8 whirred around his feet, beeping mournfully.

"I'm fine," Poe insisted. "You don't need to keep me company. Just go and keep an eye on Rey, will you?"

BB-8 bumped up against Poe's leg and warbled. Poe shook his head. "Really. I'm fine. It's Kai I'm worried about."

BB-8 beeped again. Poe sighed. "I know you're worried too. About both of us. But it's Rey who needs to be taken care of right now. I'll watch after Kai."

According to the medisensor, Kaila was perfectly healthy. Her pulse and breathing were normal. Organ function wasn't at all impaired. She just wasn't waking up. It had been three days.

He didn't understand a lot about the Force. He knew many Force Sensitive people, when he thought about it. But the knowledge of how it worked was so elusive.  What little he did know didn't prepare him for this. Even if he did know more, he was unable to use the Force. He couldn't help Kaila wake up when it was that mysterious power that caused her weakness.

He remembered what she said to him. About how everyone was a part of the Force. He recalled how Kylo Ren had savaged his memories to discover what he'd done with the map to Luke Skywalker.

Maybe he could work that backwards. He took Kaila's hand, pressing it against his forehead. He thought back on their time together. He remembered creeping through the Massassi Temple, finding relics abandoned by the Rebellion. He remember asking her on a date when he was thirteen and her laughing at him before realizing he was serious. He remembered working up the nerve to kiss her after she told him she was going away and didn't know when she would see him again... And then her kissing back.

He remembered coming to run interference when she had a nasty break-up.... Only to discover it was with _his_ ex-boyfriend. That had been an awkward evening. He remembered lazy mornings in bed on his DONAs during the brief time she'd stayed with him... And the emptiness of that same bed when she'd left so abruptly.

But there was the joy at discovering she was still alive and running cargo for the Resistance. She'd looked so different. Harder. But she was still her.

It was amazing how something so inconsistent could be so constant. The flight plans of their lives seemed to always intersect. Was it the Force? The Jedi were so fond of saying that it bound the universe together. Had it bound them together just a little bit tighter?

Poe squeezed his eyes shut, concentrating on all of those thoughts and memories. Maybe if he did it hard enough, the Force would sense it, even if he lacked the skills. He was calling out to her. _Come back... Come on, wake up._

There was no change. Poe squeezed her hand softly, shaking his head. "It was worth a try, wasn't it?"

* * *

 

The world seemed to have no form. It was both darkness and light at the same time. The Force pulsed. It connected everything. It connected... Her.

Yes. Her. She had been a her. Kaila. Her name was Kaila. Kaila Syndulla. Her awareness of her form seemed to come back to her. A moment after that she became aware of the form in front of her. Taking the shape they had in life for her benefit.

Her father approached her. "How are you feeling?"

Kaila blinked. At least, it felt like she did. Her memories of her body were still strong. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Not yet." The man appeared next to her father. It took Kaila a moment to recognize him with his sandy hair and young face. It had been so long since she'd seen him look like that. That had been the man she had met at six years old, when Ahsoka had finally brought her out of hiding.

"Master Skywalker." Kaila felt warmth at the presence of her old teacher. "If I'm not dead, where I am?"

"You're a part of the Force," her father explained. "You have not died, but you came close. Closing the Holocrons-- exposing yourself to that sort of energy-- it nearly tore your spirit from your body."

"But it didn't... Why not?"

"Tethered your spirit was," Tiny Master Yoda appeared. "Where it belonged he kept it."

Kaila felt a warm squeeze to her hand. She looked down. Poe was clutching her hand. "Come on, Kai..." He pleaded. "Wake up!"

"Poe!" She cried out. But he disappeared, leaving her clutching at nothing.

A beautiful, dark-haired woman formed. "It takes powerful emotions for someone who is not a Jedi to do that. But he has become a very strong man."

Realization set in as to this woman's identity. Kaila had never met her, but of course that's who it was. "You're Shara Bey. But... You're not a Jedi."

Shara smiled. "You said it yourself. The Force connects us all, Jedi or no... I'm appearing now because he is connected to you.... And I am always connected to him. I am utterly amazed by the man he has become. I couldn't be prouder of him."

Kaila nodded. She understood it now. Why this figure had appeared to her.  The figure of Shara Bey swirled away as if in a puff of smoke.

Still, Kaila faced the three fallen Jedi. She looked them over. "I'm here for a reason. I don't need form until I go back to my body... Unless... You need me to know something."

"The Holocrons, Kaila," her father said. "What happened with the Holocrons. Remember what Ezra told you."

Kaila thought about it. "The last time any were opened was when Ezra and Maul opened their holocrons together."

"Sith and Jedi together are necessary," Yoda said with a nod of his head. "With light and darkness both will they open."

"Ben..." Kaila whispered. "He's still a dark side user." She shook her head. "No, I've felt him change. He's earning his redemption. He wouldn't have been corrupted enough to open the Sith Holocrons. Both are needed!"

"Think, Kaila," her father said firmly. "Light and dark. Together. Ashla and Bogan."

If she had been able to feel her body, she was sure her heart would have been thudding in her chest. "It's not about a light side user and a dark side user. It's about balance. Ben is finding the light..."

Master Skywalker nodded. "Yes, Kaila."

Kaila didn't want to finish, but she knew she had to. "But Rey is equally exploring the dark. Together they reached a balance and that balance opened the holocrons."

"Struggling, both are," Yoda said. "Stand together it is certain... But on which side it is unknown."

"I can't do this alone," Kaila insisted. "I need help-- I need--"

She heard the cry. A man being tortured. It lanced through the Force. She knew it was so far away from her physical body, but spiritually it felt like it was right beside her. He was crying out to her. It wasn't here. It wasn't in this world. It was in the other world. The world of the living. But there was so much pain it was echoing throughout the galaxy, through the bond they had.

Master and Apprentice.

"Ezra...!"

"No!" Master Skywalker said. He looked pained by the yells of agony, but tried to pull Kaila's attention to him. "Focus on Rey and Ben. If she falls, he will fall again. If he falls again... The galaxy will suffer in ways you can't imagine."

"What am I supposed to do?" Kaila pleaded.

Her father put a hand to her cheek. "Kaila... Wake up."

* * *

 

Poe felt the tensing of the hand he held. He heard the gasp. He raised his head, looking at Kaila's face. Her eyes were wide and she panted for breath. "Kai!"

"I..." She croaked. "I feel horrible."

"Better than you were." Waves of relief washed over Poe. He crawled onto the bed, hovering over her to look her over closely. He frowned as he examined her. "Don't scare me like that!"

"I need to talk to--" She started to sit up, but immediately fell back into bed. "Ughh..."

"Don't rush yourself," Poe admonished her. "Don't worry."

"I have to," Kaila fumbled with her nutrient line. Soon enough, her hand went slack again. "I'm going to need my idiot apprentice in here if I can't get up."

Her idiot apprentice. Her idiot apprentice who Rey was in love with. Poe knew he should bring it up with Kaila. How much had she known about the feelings that were developing between the pair? But even if she were awake now, she still seemed as weak as a loth-kitten. He didn't want to burden with her with it until she was stronger. BB-8 would do his job of keeping the pair apart.

"Don't worry about that right now." Poe sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

"How--" A weak hand reached out to touch Poe's heavily stubbled face. "How long was I out?"

"Three days," Poe replied. He leaned into her soft touch. "I know. I look like a Wookiee already. I forgot my beard suppressants back at the base."

"I like it." She licked her lips. "Help me sit up."

Poe gingerly braced her behind the back and under the knees and helped her into a sitting position. She leaned heavily against the wall. "I saw something."

"A dream?" Poe replied. He shook his head. That wouldn't be what she was referring to. That wouldn't have worried her. "No... This was like a vision Jedi thing, wasn't it?"

Kaila nodded. "I don't understand it all. I don't even know what I can do about it." Her head lolled. "It's confusing."

"Try to get your strength up. Maybe it'll get less confusing." Poe leaned in and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll get your idiot apprentice to bring you in something to eat. I'm sure you're hungry. You can talk to him about _a lot_ of things."

As he began to pull away, Kaila grabbed him by the front of the shirt. "Wait. I want to tell you something."

"What?" Poe asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

"My spirit was ready to move on," Kaila explained. "It had been ripped from my body by the Force. But someone very powerful refused to let me go."

"Ren?" Poe replied. "Yeah, I might've kicked him out the airlock if he had let you go."

"No _you_ , you nerfherder. You held onto me."

Poe shook his head. "I couldn't have kept you here. I'm not a Jedi."

"No." Kaila smiled. "You're just very strong and stubborn. And that was enough." She brought a hand up to caress his scruffy face. "I have something for you. To thank you for keeping me here."

"Wait until you're a bit stronger," Poe joked, hoping to lighten the moment that seemed to be so serious.

"Not that," Kaila breathed. "I need you to trust me. Do you?"

Poe nodded. "Always."

Kaila leaned in and pressed her mouth to his. As their lips touched, she touched his temple. He gasped, pulling away as he felt the tendrils of the Force slip into his brain. He'd only felt it once before, when Kylo Ren had violated his mind. But this time, it was not violent.

He saw the vision of his mother. He saw her as clearly and vividly as he had in life. He heard her speaking to Kaila... But no, she was speaking _to him_.

Poe pulled back, feeling the tears on his face. "How..."

"I told you... I had a vision. I just wish that was all I saw."


	21. The Ghost: Decisions

Ben hesitantly approached Kaila's bunk with a tray of food. Dameron had told them all she was awake and that she was insistent upon seeing him. He felt the dread in his stomach. Now he was going to get it.

He opened the door and saw Kaila sitting up in her bed. She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. "So... Got over your nervousness, did you?"

Ben cleared his throat and set the tray down on the desk. "I'm glad you're okay."

Kaila looked exhausted, but there was a fierceness in her eyes. "Sit. Down."

Ben grabbed the chair at Kaila's desk and pulled it out, sitting down by her side. "I didn't know what was going to happen. I don't even understand what--"

Kaila's hand was shaking as she brought it up, pressing thumb and fingers together to mime closing a mouth. "Sh... I'm going to talk. You're going to speak when I ask you something."

"Have a missed anything yet?" Dameron strode in. He looked absolutely exhausted, unsurprisingly. He'd hardly slept while Kaila was unconscious. He threw himself down onto the bed beside Kaila. "Where are you?"

Kaila turned to him. "You know, I can take care of this myself. It's a Master-Apprentice conversation."

Dameron shook his head. "Nope. It's affecting things in my crew so I'm going to be here. Got a thing for Rey, do you, Ben?"

Ben scowled. "I don't see how that's your business."

Dameron sat up. "She's a naive nineteen year old girl. You're a twenty-nine year old man who has helped destroy entire planets. Seeing as how she's under my command, I think that's my business."

"So you're forcing us to stay apart?" Kylo felt the anger swell inside him at Dameron.

"No," Kaila replied.

"Yes," said Dameron at the same time.

Kaila turned to look at Dameron. "Excuse me?"

"I've been having BB-8 keep them apart for the last three days."

" _What_?" Kaila tried to sit up, but cringed and slumped back down. "Poe, are you a complete idiot?"

"I just took care of you for three days!"

"Do you know absolutely nothing about teenage girls? Forbidding it just makes it more enticing!" Kaila turned her attention to Ben. "I know how you feel about Rey, Ben. And I think it's good for you. But there was a reason I thought you should be on your own. You two both need to discover your own paths."

"But we're on this ship together." Ben looked away. "Am I just supposed to ignore her when she comes to see me?"

"What?" Dameron snapped. " _Rey_ has been the one who has been pushing things?"

Ben nodded. "I told her we shouldn't be together. Not yet. But she... Kept coming to see me. And I felt this... Draw."

"Ben, you must learn control," Kaila admonished him. "Your emotions have always been erratic. You can't let them master you. A slave to passions will be a slave to the Dark Side."

Dameron gave Kaila a sideward look. "Really? That's your advice to him?"

"You're the one who wanted to be here," she muttered. "I'm trying to have a talk with my apprentice."

Poe shook his head and sat back. He gestured with his hand for Kaila to continue.

"You know a Holocron will only open in the presence of the light and the dark side," Kaila said. "You were worried about that, remember?"

Ben sat up straight. He hadn't even thought of that. He had been so worried about that... But he'd been so distracted in the moment... "So I am hopeless."

Kaila shook her head. "No, Ben. Not all of the dark energy was coming from you."

Both Ben and Poe were looking at Kaila in horror.

"Rey is struggling as much as you are," she continued. "She's very confused, as are you. I won't tell you not to be together. Every time that has been demanded it ends badly... But you must make a choice, Ben. Your heart will tell you."

Ben looked down. He knew what the answer was. He had known all along. He closed his eyes tightly. His first instinct had been to push Rey away, to become the man she deserved. He had not become that yet. Kaila was right. He had no right to give in to the temptation.

He stood up. "Rey... She has the dark side within her?"

"We all have the Dark Side within us," Kaila replied. "But some give into it more easily. Rey is still young, still new to the Force. Now is not the time for her to let her emotions take control."

Ben swallowed hard. "Will we ever get to be together?"

"Complete your training. Find the light side." Kaila reached out a shaking hand and took his. "Ben. You know I'm right. You've said it yourself. You're tempted now because she is here. It is a test by the Force. You must resist it."

"I'm sorry...." Ben paused. "...Master. For nearly killing you."

"None of us could have seen that coming," Kaila sighed. She cringed. "Not that I want to know a lot about your sexual activity... But what were you _doing_?"

Ben looked at Dameron warily. "It wasn't... Sexual. Not really." He cleared his throat. "We _were_ meditating. We were... Linking..."

"Your Force Bond," Kaila nodded. "You were engaging your Force Bond while you were in the same place. Doing it intentionally. I suppose that could get powerful."

Ben nodded. "I think I should just stay in my bunk until we reach Coruscant. I'll help where I can there. But... I should keep my distance."

"Ben, this ship is your home. You can go anywhere you want. But if you feel that's best for now..." Kaila leaned back in the bed. "Hopefully, I'll be up soon. We can start your training again. I think we've been a little slack lately."

Ben turned and walked out of the bunk. He heard the footsteps behind him. "Wait... Ben."

He turned to Dameron. "What?"

"I believe in Kaila. If she thinks there's something good in you... I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. But if you..."

Ben held up a hand. "Finn already told me if I hurt Rey he would kill me. I'm sure he meant it differently than you do, but I understand the threat well. I'll just assume the entire Rebellion feels the same way."

Ben left Poe and went to his bunk, closing and locking the door. He picked up his crimson kyber crystal, clutching it tightly in his hand.

* * *

  

Poe walked back into his bunk, shaking his head at Kaila. "You're just going to let him go with a warning?"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Kaila insisted. "The Jedi Order forbid things for centuries. It went terribly! It has to be a choice, not a command. I'm his teacher not his ruler."

Poe was exhausted. He threw himself back down onto the bed and curled up next to Kaila. He rested his head on her stomach. "So are they really in love?"

"I think so." Kaila glanced down at him. "Why? Are you jealous?"

"She's a kid," Poe sneered. "This is why you believe in him, isn't it?"

Kaila nodded. "Love is a very powerful thing. Love made Darth Vader kill the Emperor and it and freed the galaxy from the Empire. Love made Kylo Ren kill Supreme Leader Snoke." She reached a hand down and caressed his hair. "Love kept my spirit tied to this world when the power of the Holocrons should have killed me."

Poe sat up, swallowing hard. "We've never used that word before."

"Is it inaccurate?" Kaila slid her fingers over his jawline. " _We're_ not kids, Poe. We don't need to keep dancing around it. I know how I feel."

"I know how I feel too," Poe whispered. He laid back down. Kaila draped an arm over him. "But if you think like that... And you know Ben and Rey love each other... Why would you suggest they stay apart?" He knew why _he_ wanted Ben-- when had he begun to think of him as Ben?-- and Rey apart. But Kaila seemed hopelessly optimistic when it came to Ben.

"Love also made Anakin Skywalker become Darth Vader in order to save his wife. Love is powerful, but without control it can bring ruin. My vision," Kaila replied. "It wasn't just your mother. It was a warning. Ben and Rey are destined to stand together. But it could be on either side. That's what my father, Master Skywalker and Master Yoda said."

"Dead Jedi warned you that Ben might pull Rey to the Dark Side?" Poe felt his stomach churn with worry.

"It was the opposite," Kaila sighed. "Ben is trying very hard. But Rey..."

"Luke Skywalker declared her a Jedi," Poe insisted.

"After training her how long?" Kaila asked. "She's powerful. They're both powerful. Too powerful. I've been training for thirty years and I'm nowhere near as strong. But strength doesn't make a Jedi... Training does. Rey is young and lovesick. I won't leave the fate of the galaxy up to her and Ben. Not yet. I've worked too long and too hard to leave everything in the hands of stupid kids."

"So are you going to train them both?"

Kaila shook her head. "No. After we're finished the mission to Coruscant, I'm going to find Ezra. I know he's alive. He's just... He needs me to find him. He's the only Jedi Master left in the galaxy."

"And what are we supposed to do until then?" Poe sighed.

"Ben knows the danger. I'm assuming you've already read Rey the riot act." She closed her eyes. "When I'm stronger, I'll begin to work with Ben again. We've still got a week until we reach Coruscant. For now, I think you need to get some sleep, Commander."

"I have a mission to take care of," Poe complained. But he was feeling the deep weariness of too many days awake. "A crew that is falling to pieces over relationships..."

"You worried about me for three days. Let me worry about you." Kaila nudged him. "Come up here."

Poe slithered up the bed and laid next to Kaila. She laid down with him. "I know you're worried. We can only tell them what they need to know and hope they'll do what is right." She gave him a quick kiss. "Go to sleep."

"You better know what you're doing and not just pretending to be a wise Jedi..." Poe closed his eyes, enjoying her heat against him. "This could go really badly..."

* * *

  

Ezra Bridger fought the urge to groan as the stormtrooper grabbed him by his grey-streaked hair, pulling his head up. He needed to control himself. He couldn't let his captors see the pain he was in.

The red haired man-- Hux, that was what he'd called himself-- stood straight, watching him with malevolent eyes. "This is the Jedi? You are certain?"

Thrawn walked in a slow circle around Ezra. "He has been a thorn in my side for nearly forty years now. I would know him anywhere." He paused in front of Ezra, kneeling down. He grabbed Ezra by his bearded chin. "The years have not been kind to you, _Master_ Bridger."

Pure hatred of the man in front of him welled. "You won't win, Thrawn."

"I have already won. I have the entire crew of the _Specter_ captive."

"And he has given you to me," Hux said with a smirk.

"Have I?" Thrawn asked mildly. He looked around the bridge of the _Finalizer_. "I believe I will keep them for myself."

Hux frowned. "But..."

"A partnership in good faith," Thrawn said to Hux. "The Ascendancy will be fine in my absence with their new ground troops. But I believe you require my... Assistance." Thrawn's red eyes seemed to glow. " _General_."

"Why I--"

While the two leaders were arguing, Ezra concentrated, reaching out with the Force. If he could just release his binding...

The binders fell free and Ezra reached a hand out, force pulling his lightsaber to him from Hux's belt. He ignited it.

Before he could strike down Thrawn, electricity lanced through him. He fell back, looking up at bucketheads wielding electric prods.

"You have gotten old, Master Bridger," Thrawn taunted. He casually kicked the lightsaber aside. He waved aside the stormtroopers. "We need him alive."

"What do you want?" Ezra demanded.

Thrawn knelt down. "The First Order is looking for some people you know. Your dear General Syndulla's daughter... And Ben Solo."

"I'll never tell you anything," Ezra spat.

Thrawn's tilted his head slightly. "I don't think you need to tell me anything, Master Bridger. You're a message."


	22. The Ghost: Isolation

Rey sighed as she leaned back in the pilot's seat of the Ghost. She was starting to like the ship. It was old, but it was kept in very good condition. Unlike the Falcon-- which had been abandoned on Jakku for years-- the Ghost had been in flight continuously. Despite her initial misgivings about the ship, Rey had fallen in love with the Falcon. Still... The Ghost was very nice.

However, there were a few things she didn't care for on the Ghost.  A big one were the doors that refused to be codebroken. Ben was locked in his room and would not engage in their bond. Poe brought him food, but that was the only time the door opened at all.

Rey scowled deeply and looked at BB-8. "You know you don't have to watch me all the time. I'm just sitting here."

BB-8 whistled and beeped, bumping into Rey's chair. Rey sighed and went back to her brooding as she stared out the viewport.

She didn't understand what Ben's hesitance was. Yes, they had caused an incident with the Holocrons... But the only way they were going to get past that was if they worked through it together.

As much as Rey did like the Ghost, she didn't much care for long haul flights. The ship was starting to feel claustrophobic. Maybe it was because of the tension between her and Ben. It might have been easier to take the close quarters if she wasn't angry with half the people on the ship.

"Hey." Rose stepped into cockpit. "How are you doing?"

"Hm?" Rey looked up. "I'm fine. I just thought I'd fly for a bit. Give Poe a chance to sit with Kaila for a bit."

Rose curled up in the co-pilot's seat. "Finn's back there with them right now. Talking about the  mission. Do you have any idea what the mission actually is? Because I don't think they'd have so much to talk about if it was just recruitment."

Rey nodded. She was fairly certain Leia wouldn't have sent them if it was about recruitment. One or two of them maybe. But Poe was her right-hand man. Not to mention every single Jedi known to live were on the ship. But everything was played so close to the chest.

"You're not fine, are you?"

Rey lifted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Is it Ben?"

Rose was so empathetic, Rey sometimes wondered if it might be latent Force abilities or if she was just so kind as to be able to tell others emotions. Still, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it. She smiled far to brightly, shaking her head. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"He's really cute. And I've seen the way he looks at you. He likes you." Rose shrugged. "He might've just gotten scared by whatever happened when you guys were meditating. Does that happen when Jedi meditate a lot?"

" _No_ ," Rey answered quickly. She felt her body heat up at the memory of their physical Force Bond. "That was different."

"Just give him some time," Rose advised.

Rey engaged the autopilot and got up. "No offense, but I don't really want to talk about this right now. I'm going to go back to my bunk."

"I'm sorry!" Rose cried. She jumped to her feet. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine, Rose," Rey sighed. "I've just got some things to do before we get to Coruscant."

As she headed towards the back, BB-8 beeper and rolled after her. She turned back and scowled at the small droid. "You don't have to follow me everywhere."

BB-8 whistled.

Rey rolled her eyes and stalked to Poe and Kaila's bunk. She opened the door, not bothering to announce her presence.

"Can you _please_ tell BB-8 he doesn't have to follow me everywhere?" Rey demanded.

Poe looked away from the hologram Chopper was projecting. He was sitting on his bed with Kaila leaning against his chest so she could sit up. He blinked at Rey. "Hey Buddy," he called to BB-8. "Why don't you come in here and help us?"

BB-8 chirped and rolled in. Poe gave Kaila a quick peck on the cheek before slipping out from behind her. "I'll be right back, Babe. Finn, you keep talking."

Finn looked worriedly at Poe and then to Rey. "Is everything alright?"

"Don't worry about it." Poe strode out into the corridor. "Rey..."

"I'm not a child who needs babysitting," Rey snapped. "I know what you're doing. Ben's already not leaving his bunk. You're treating me like I need to be looked after and..."

"Shh..." Poe looked back over his shoulder at his open bunk door. He led Rey into her own bunk to give them some privacy. "You don't want to worry Finn. Rey, I'm sorry. I... I didn't think things through. It was disrespectful to you. You just freaked me the hell out. I should have handled it better."

Rey nodded firmly, still feeling anger course through her. "You should have. I can't believe--"

Poe sighed, shaking his head. "Rey, can you please look at this from my perspective for like _two seconds_? It wasn't that long ago that Kylo Ren killed a man in front of me, ordered the death of a whole village, took me hostage, tortured me, invaded my mind and nearly killed me two or three times. Then I'm sent on a mission that it turns out is to rescue him. My girlfriend has decided to dedicate herself to training him and letting him live with her. On top of all of that, someone that I care about has fallen in love with him. As a result of whatever weird Jedi thing you two have going on, the ship was nearly blown up and my girlfriend was _this close_ \--" he held his thumb and finger mere millimeters apart. "--to being killed. Now _all_ of us are stuck on a ship together while I'm trying to command a dangerous mission in the core of the galaxy where the First Order has been amassing forces. So _yeah_ , I'm on edge and I reacted badly. If you're not a child then... Get over it."

Rey opened her mouth to say something, but she really didn't know what to say in response to everything Poe had said. He had a point. Ben had done all of those things. "You've still confined him to quarters."

Poe shook his head. "No I didn't, Rey. That was Ben's decision. Even he knows that you two can't be around each other right now. Not with everything that is at stake." He sighed. "Kaila and Leia both think it was because he loves you that he's made this turn. I know he killed Snoke for you. I don't like the two of you, but I can't deny how much good it's done. But you have to be careful, Rey."

"He's not going to turn to the Dark Side." Rey's defenses were still high.

Poe shook his head. "No. I'm not talking about being a Jedi or anything like that. We haven't talked much about your life before you joined the Rebellion. But I know you're nineteen and you were a scavenger. Did you have many relationships on Jakku?"

Rey shook her head, remaining silent

"I thought so. Relationships are hard even without the forces of light and darkness. I've been with people from different species and genders and it is never easy. Even when you're in love."

Rey shrugged. "You and Kaila don't seem to be doing too badly."

Poe laughed. "That is twenty-five years of friendship, fifteen years of dancing around how we feel about each other, abandonment in the middle of the night, years of estrangement, occasional infidelity and once dating the same guy. And I'm _still_ not certain where we are."

"You did call her your girlfriend."

Poe blinked. "I guess I did." His hand reached up and clutched at his necklace. "Still. That's a first. After _all_ of that. Love's not easy. And the battle of good versus evil just makes it more complicated. Don't rush things." He sighed. "I'll tell BB-8 to lay off. But he's not too happy about you and Ben either so I can't promise anything. I have to go back. Are you okay?"

Rey nodded. "I have things I need to do."

Poe gave her a small smile. "All right then. I'll leave you to it." Poe left the bunk, closing the door behind himself.

Rey knew Poe was right. Still, it was all hard to hear. Her mind knew that she should take things slow-- _stay away_ \-- from Ben. But every other part of her urged her closer and closer to him.

She decided it was best to keep her mind off of him. Since she'd returned from the _Supremacy_ she'd been working on on something. She'd even brought it with her on the mission. Master Bridger had a lot of components to help her with it.

Rey sat down at the small desk and continued to work on the lightsaber. She always understood how things worked and the lightsaber was no different. It was cracked, but she could see how to repair and replace what she needed. Not everything stayed broken.

* * *

 

Finn watched Poe re-enter the bunk, looking exhausted. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," Poe sighed. "Just... Things. You don't want to know about it-- believe me."

"We were just getting into everyone's role the mission." Kaila patted the bed. "Come on, Flyboy... Command us."

Poe got back onto the bed and propped Kaila up again. "So we have three objectives: Create a groundswell of support for the Rebellion in the populace via propaganda imbedded into the local holonet. Finn, I think you and Rose would be best for that job. You'll need to get into Galactic City's transmission matrix. Can you do it?"

Finn nodded. "Definitely. As long as we don't need to hire a codebreaker this time."

"I think you'll be okay with just BB-8 and Chopper." Poe nodded to the droids. "You two up for that?"

BB-8 beeped wildly, while Chopper grudgingly whirred. BB-8 then began to circle the other droid before Chopper stopped him with his pincher.

"So the other objectives..." Finn said, looking over his datapad. "Rey was supposed to find Jedi."

Poe nodded. "Leia wanted her to reach out to see if she can sense any Force Users in the city. It's a long shot, but it's still a shot."

"Do you want me to go with her?" Kaila looked back at Poe.

"I might need you with me," Poe replied. "My part of the mission requires infiltration. You're pretty good at that."

Kaila nodded. "Okay. So Ben will go with Rey then."

Both Finn and Poe looked at each other warily. Just the thought of Kylo Ren going on the mission with them made Finn sick to his stomach.

"Whatever you might think of him, he's one of the strongest Force Users in the Galaxy. If there are Force Users, they'll be able to find them."

Finn put his head in his hand. He hated to admit that it was right. But he still felt his protectiveness swell. "Are we really going to put Rey into a position where she's with Kylo Ren alone? He could stab her in the back!"

"He doesn't have a lightsaber," Kaila pointed out. "And if you believe in Rey, then you should think she could take Ben if he turned against her."

Kriff. Another good point.

"Okay," Poe sighed. "We'll have Rey and Ben go for the Force Users. Which leaves you and me, Babe."

"We're finding a spy," Kaila said. "That's what Finn said."

Poe nodded. "Yeah. A Resistance Operative who has been working in the core gathering intelligence. Leia got worried about him when he didn't respond to her distress call. She thinks he's in trouble. So she wants us to go in and extract him. We could use his help."

"Is he that good?" Finn asked. "Just who is this Lando Calrissian?"


	23. The Ghost: Purpose

" _This is Master Obi Wan Kenobi. I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic, have fallen with a dark shadow of the Empire rising to take their place. This message is a warning and a reminder for any surviving Jedi. Trust in The Force. Do not return to the Temple…that time has passed. And our future is uncertain. We will each be challenged. Our trust. Our faith. Our friendships. But we must persevere. And in time, a new hope will emerge. May the Force be with you, always._ "

Ben leaned against his hands as he watched the figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi giving his final message to the Jedi Order. He wondered how many people had heard those words. Had any of them made it out alive aside from Kanan Jarrus? Did any of them have children now? Grandchildren?

"You know, that message is horrible and depressing... But Master Kenobi was really hot."

Ben looked back over his shoulder at Kaila. She stood in the doorway on slightly shaking legs. "Kaila... You're up..."

She smiled, stepping gingerly into the bunk. "First time in over a week. I was really getting sick of my bunk." She hooked her finger under the piece of leather around Ben's neck, lifting up the piece of red kyber crystal. "Nice fashion statement."

"I wanted to keep it close to me," Ben explained. "I thought..."

"Maybe if you kept it with you, it would become clear how to purify it." Kaila put a hand on Ben's shoulder. "You know that hologram is available on the holocrons. Why are you watching a holodoc?"

"Seemed safer than the holocrons," Ben admitted. "You have a lot of illegal propaganda holodocs."

"Careful. That's First Order talk." Kaila carefully eased herself down onto the bed with a groan. "Both the Republic and Rebellion actually think they're good for moral. As for why I have them..." She gestured. "Look at the author mark."

Ben looked over the Aurebesh writing on the disc. "Hope Dume. Wait---"

"Mm." Kaila nodded. "I love history and too much of it has been lost. Too many of these records have been destroyed or locked away so people can't see them. Keeping the truth from the populace is the first stage in controlling them. So I've recreated what I could using the Holocrons, private journals, first hand accounts, droid memory backups..."

Ben's brow furrowed. "But you're terrible at tech." 

Kaila rolled her eyes. "I'm terrible at _mechanics_. Programming is different."

Ben paused the holodoc. "It's still surprising. You making holodoc in your spare time. Seems a bit... Well...."

"Everyone needs a hobby." Kaila swatted playfully at Ben. "And _you_ used to do calligraphy!" She sighed and pointed to the paused hologram. "So why are you sitting in your darkened bunk watching a depressing holodoc on Order 66?"

"I was just trying to keep myself occupied," Ben looked down and swallowed hard, hoping he could hide the real reason. He wasn't sure he wanted to say it outloud. Not yet. "It was either one of your docs or a bunch of holorecords of racing events."

"Mm. Those are actually a present for a certain ship spotter." She pointed towards her own bunk. "I'm always trying to find him one he hasn't memorize the stats on. Ask him about any one and..."

"He killed younglings," Ben interrupted, unable to hold in his thoughts any longer.

Kaila blinked. "Darth Vader?"

"Anakin Skywalker," Ben corrected her. "The doc said that it was before the duel on Mustafar."

"The armor isn't what made him Darth Vader," Kaila said. "It was his soul. He was Darth Vader." She cocked her head. "Why are you so shocked? You had to have killed younglings yourself."

Ben shook his head. "Never younglings."

He didn't want to think about it, but he couldn't help it. It was deep inside his soul. It should have been the first thought he had when he had been told they were coming to Coruscant. He'd thought their mission was just to retrieve information or an operative... But this...

"Ben, why are you really watching this?"

Ben's eye twitched. "Dameron gave me the mission briefing. Rey and I are to find Jedi Potentials on Coruscant. We don't have to look hard. I know where they are. Most of them have been extinguished." He stood up and began to pace. "My knights served the Supreme Leader like the Inquisitorius of old. They hunted the last of the Jedi and anyone who might become one. But Snoke... He had them... Do something different with the younglings. They were useful to him. There was a woman. An Imperial Dark Side User. I made her The Hand of Ren. She's been teaching the younglings the ways of the Force in the Undercity."

"Ben..." Kaila backed up slowly, her expression was one of utter horror and disgust. "You've been taking younglings and indoctrinating them?"

"Not me!" He insisted. But no... It was him. Snoke may have gave the order. It may have been the Hand that carried it out. But it was him. He was the only responsible for everything the Knights of Ren did. He shook his head. "Yes. That's what I did."

"And you say they're on Coruscant?" Kaila ran a hand over her lekku nervously. "A child's heart is quick to break... But can be mended. There's a chance for them. How many? How old?"

"I don't know." Ben shook his head. "Five... Maybe six. All under the age of eight."

"Good." Kaila nodded. "I mean, not good. Completely awful and _kriff_ you should be ashamed of yourself. But that young... There is still hope. Instead of searching for whatever Jedi you can find, take Rey and save those younglings."

Ben had been worried Kaila would say that. "That's not what the mission is."

"It's the mission now," Kaila insisted.

"But Dameron said..."

"You're _my_ apprentice," Kaila snapped. "And you brought this up because you know this has to be the way. I'll clear it with Poe, but if there are Force Sensitive children we can save then we are going to do it!"

"You're asking Rey and me to fight one of the Knights of Ren," Ben pointed out.

"There aren't two people in the galaxy better equipped," Kaila replied. "And I don't remember asking."

* * *

 

Rey reached to her side and touched the new lightsaber there. The blade had lit up true when she'd tested it. She only hoped it hadn't just been a fluke and it would work properly.

"All right!" Poe said, pacing in front of his team. "Kai's putting this bird down and we've got three airspeeders waiting for us. We're all heading to different sections of the city."

Rose held up a hand. "I have a question. Why do we look like this--" she gestured to her and Finn in Coruscanti maintenance jumpers. They were dirty and ill-fitting. "--They look like that--" Rose gestured to Ben and Rey. They were dressed for the seedy lower levels. Rey was in some of Kaila's clothes... The black top was a bit too big on her compared to the statuesque Twi'lek, but it was still low cut. At least the shorts covered her legs more than they did on Kaila. She tried to pull the black coat tighter around herself.

She glanced over at Ben. Instead of the vest he'd been favoring, he wore a beaten up coat and he'd switched to a dark brown shirt. His facial hair had grown out enough to be officially called a beard. He looked scruffy. Not at all like Kylo Ren. And he looked very, very attractive.

Rose then gestured to Poe. "And you look like you just stepped out of Canto Bight."

Poe's thick locks were slicked back and he wore a crisp and clean gaberwool tuxedo. "Part of the mission, Rose. We've all got to fit in where we're infiltrating."

Finn nodded. "Sure. Quite a coincidence that our fearless leader put himself on the mission in the Uscru Upper District with his girlfriend, while the rest of us are in the undercity."

Rey giggled softly. She glanced up at Ben. He twitched and quickly looked away.

"It's the _mission_ ," Poe insisted. "I'm not getting anything out of--"

"All right, I got us down." Kaila stepped out of the cockpit in a slinky black lace dress. She slowed her walk, frowning slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Poe was grinning. He shook his head. "No reason."

"See, this is where I have a problem with this plan," Finn pointed to them. "This seems like it's going to be a lot more fun for you too."

"If you want to wear this dress so badly, you are free to take my place, Lieutenant," Kaila sighed.

"It's not going to be fun," Poe assured Finn and Rose. "But we've got to blend in to the company General Calrissian's been keeping in order to find out where he is. What can I say? He's always liked the finer things."

"General Calrissian?" Ben repeated. "Wait, the operative you're going to bring in is _Lando_?"

Rey could see the panic in Ben's face. "You know him?"

Ben nodded slowly. "Yeah... I know him." He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he shook it off and scowled at Kaila. "Kaila can't even wear her lightsaber wearing that dress."

"I've got it." Kaila hiked up her skirt, showing the lightsaber strapped to her shapely thigh.

Poe looked down at the green flesh that Kaila exposed. "Okay, it might be a little fun." He looked back up quickly, getting back to business. "Keep your comms open. If you get into any trouble, emergency signal. We've got to work as quickly as possible. The First Order is keeping an eye on this sector. They might figure out we're here."

BB-8 whistled.

"You sure, Buddy?" He looked to Finn. "BB-8 thinks he should stay here and keep the sensor scramblers going. He can fly the ship to us in an emergency situation. Are you okay just working with Chop?"

Finn cast a wary glance to Chopper. "Why can't Chopper stay?"

BB-8 beeped again.

"He says Chopper will fit in better because he's so busted."

Chopper made a wild whistle and began to chase after BB-8. Finn stopped him with his foot. "Yeah, we'll be fine. Come on, Chopper."

Finn, Rose and Chopper were the first to leave. Poe knelt down by BB-8. "Take care of the ship, Pal. We'll be back soon." He got back up and looked to Rey. "Only bring your lightsaber out if it's absolutely necessary. You stick out. Now let's do this."

Poe put an arm around Kaila's waist and led her out of the ship. Rey held back. Ben started to leave. "Wait a moment."

Ben turned. "We should really be going. It will take a while to reach the undercity."

It was just them in the ship. There was no one there to get in their way. He couldn't avoid her. Rey felt the butterflies in her stomach. "I've missed you," she said quickly.

Ben averted his gaze. "I missed you too," he muttered quickly.

Rey took a deep breath. "Before we start this mission..."

"Dameron told you, didn't he?" Ben said firmly. "I told him about the kids. The Force Sensitives that I helped kidnap. We're going to be saving them. I kidnapped children, Rey."

Poe had told her. It had hurt to hear. But she had known Kylo Ren had done horrible things. Worse things. Were they worse? Rey was having trouble telling anymore...  "You're trying to make up for it now."

"Stop looking at me like that!" Ben snapped.

Rey jumped back, shocked by Ben's sudden swell of anger. "Looking at you like what?"

"Like I'm worth anything!" Ben continued to rant. "We're trying to save children that I put in danger. You shouldn't... You shouldn't be looking at me like that."

The words wounded Rey. She didn't want to think about Ben as Kylo Ren, but he was pushing her to. She remembered how he insisted he was a monster. She was going to do everything in her power to dissuade him of that notion. "I have something for you."

Ben shook his head. "I don't want anything except to finish this mission."

"This will help with that." Rey reached under her coat and unclipped the lightsaber. "If it's possible we might fight a Knight of Ren, you shouldn't go in with just a blaster." She held the gleaming, repaired lightsaber out to him.

Ben reached a hand out, but stopped short. "That's... That's my grandfather's lightsaber. But you said it was destroyed."

"I fixed it," Rey replied. "I have your Uncle's. And we should both be armed." She held it out more insistently. "Take it."

Finally, Ben took the lightsaber in his shaking hand. "Rey..."

Rey smiled at him. "We have a mission. You have to be ready for it."


	24. Coruscant: Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating of this fic has gone up in anticipation of events that will happen in near future chapters.

Coruscant was the most unbelievable planet Finn had ever been to. Over twelve thousand kilometers around, with absolutely every inch covered in urban sprawl. That sprawl was built up over five thousand levels separating the ground from the sky. Rumor was that the human species had originated there, but Finn wasn't sure he believed that. The climate of the city-planet was uninhabitable without artificial control. However, that may have been due to the pollution and sprawl destroying the natural ecosystem.

Rose looked out of their airspeeder, watching the megascrapers go by as they moved on their pre-programmed flight course towards the transmission hub.

"Sorry about this," Finn apologized. He reached out a took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I bring you to the core and we're going to end up in maintenance tunnels."

Rose turned back to look at him and smiled. "It's okay. I like maintenance tunnels. And I'd rather be here than where Poe and Kaila are. They're going to be dealing with people even worse than we saw on Canto Bight. Only they'll have to talk to them." She gave a small shiver. "And I wouldn't want to be going to the undercity. Maintenance tunnels are fine by me."

Finn narrowed his gaze on her. "Why were you giving Poe such a hard time then?"

"Because he's my friend and I wanted to tease him." Rose smiled broadly. "I mean I've never had many friends other than Paige. That's what I did to her. Is that okay?"

Finn put an arm around Rose and drew her close to him. He kissed her on the forehead. She crinkled her nose. "What's that for?"

"Just... Being you." She was still shy, but Finn was starting to understand how she developed friendships. If there was someone she trusted, if they brought someone into her sphere, she automatically accepted them. Not only that, Rose treated her friends as her family.

Finn felt a gnawing sensation of guilt. That was why Rose was treating Ben so unbelievably well. He was sure if she knew the truth she would not be so forgiving. The First Order had ruined her life. But Finn wasn't allowing her to make the decision to accept Kylo Ren into her life.

He tried to remind himself that he was under orders. It was Leia's call. But Finn had gone against orders before, taking it to the highest level of disobedience. Why was he so reluctant to ignore his commands now, when he cared so much for Rose?

He pushed the thoughts out of his head. He needed to concentrate on the mission. He could deal with Kylo Ren later.

Chopper whirred and pointed his pincer at a large tower, higher than all the others. Jutting from the top was a complex series of antenna and satellite dishes.

The Communications Citadel was the hub of all of the transmissions on Coruscant. While some smaller networks existed around the planet, the Citadel served as the primary transmitter around the planet. If the Rebellion wanted to disseminate any messages, it was the best place to do it.

"Bring us down there, Chopper," Rose said, pointing out towards an airspeeder pad. "That will put us on Level Twenty. We'll have to take the turbolift to the Communications relay, but that's the main entrance."

Chopper beeped and the airspeeder veered along the skyways to come to a stop on the airspeed pad. Finn, Rose and Chopper all got out. Finn fumbled into his jumpsuit, taking out the forged security chip, plugging it into the terminal. He stared at the screen, hoping the price the Rebellion had paid was worth it for their credentials. The terminal turned green and Finn sighed in relief. "We're good. We can go in."

As they walked towards the entrance, they passed a very pretty Theelin woman, her vividly red hair coiffed in neat curls around her horns. An acrid smoke wafted from the stick in her hand. She looked imperiously down on a cowering human. "I'm a _star_ ," the Theelin snapped. "I don't understand why I have to come all the way out here when I need a tabacc break. You're going to go talk to management about this _today_."

The human held out a datapad. "Miss List, can please just look at this... You need to report on it..."

Miss List waved her hand, more smoke drifting from her tabacc stick. "I'm not going to report on a bounty being offered by those tyrannical dictators. No one on Coruscant _cares_ if they've lost one of their commanders. It's just going to whip up the scum in the undercity. But the little sithspawn wouldn't dare come to Coruscant. There's no _point_."

Finn nudged Rose along away from the reporter. Coruscant had held a position of neutrality in the Cold War, one they'd just recently reaffirmed with the destruction of the Hosnian System. The Orbital Control system around the planet was almost entirely dedicated to keeping back the First Order. That was why they had to sneak around so much. Finn knew this caused the First Order no small amount of anger. The Coruscant System was to be the third target for Starkiller Base.

At the entrance, they were faced with a second security clearance. Finn plugged in the security chip. He hummed with nerves as he watched the spinning wheel as the computer checked the credentials. Why was it taking so long? The armed security guard eyed them warily. Finn touched his chest, where his blaster was hidden beneath his jumper.

The siren whined as the terminal turned red.

_CLEARANCE DENIED. CLEARANCE DENIED._

The guard lifted his blaster rifle and pointed it directly at Finn and Rose.

* * *

 

Located in the Entertainment District, the Sky Skimmer Hotel was one of the most opulent places on Coruscant. The city-planet's uppercrust were frequently found in the large ballroom, in a seemingly endless party, flaunting their wealth and prestige. Lando Calrissian had been a fixture of that party for nearly a year, occupying a state room on the top floor of the hotel.

Poe had been surprised that the Rebellion would have an operative in such a place. However, Leia's reasoning was sound. Politicians drifted in and out of the Coruscant nightlife. They were unafraid to share their positions, due to the lack of the First Order's presence on the planet. Arms dealers also frequented the establishment, enjoying their ill-gotten gains and always willing to make deals in shady corners over glasses of Daruvvian champagne. There were plenty of connections to be made amongst the revelry. From Leia's description of the General, it was well-suited to Calrissian.

As they walked into the ballroom, Poe glanced up at Kaila, sighing deeply. "You had to wear high heels, didn't you?"

"You're short, come to terms with it," Kaila replied, rolling her eyes. "You know that no one is going to judge you for walking in with a leggy Twi'lek on your arm. I'm the one who is going to have to deal with everyone thinking I'm an escort."

"Why would they think that?" Poe asked, furrowing his brow deeply. "Are you saying I'm not good looking enough to bring a beautiful, tall woman?"

"You're gorgeous and you know it." Kaila leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips. "It's just stupid assumptions people make about my species. It's happened to me a million times before."

"Here." Poe slipped his fingers beneath his collar, drawing out the chain around his neck. He unhooked it and slipped the ring off. He took Kaila's hand and slid the ring onto her finger. He hissed in a breath at how well it fit her finger. "Escorts don't have wedding rings."

"This is your mom's ring," Kaila whispered.

Poe smiled softly and shrugged. "Well... We're undercover." He slipped his arm back around her waist. "Well come on, Missus. We have a General to find."

Maneuvering through the throngs of well dressed partiers, Poe directed Kaila towards a small group of people. One of them-- an overweight human with a bald head a bushy moustache-- laughed heartily. "I told him I don't care what his position in the Ascendancy was, we were booked for the next six months," he spoke with a refined Coruscanti accent.

"I hear he shouldn't even be on Coruscant," a woman in a silk gown spoke in a faux-whisper. "Rumor is that he's getting involved with the Order. He's not going to be able to get on this planet easily."

"Oh, it's just ridiculous," Poe said, shaking his head. "What nerve."

"Indeed," the bald man replied. "I'm sorry. I don't believe we've met."

Poe held out a hand to him, putting on his most charming smile. "Sorry. Kes Dume. Pleasure to meet you." He gestured to Kaila. "This is my wife, Hope."

"Hope Dume the documentarian?" A Quarren turned to Kaila. "I just saw your Holodoc on the Battle of Scarif."

"Oh." Kaila shook his hand. "I do hope you enjoyed it."

The Quarren clapped her hand. "Good, good... Your holograms of Grand Moff Tarkin and Princess Leia could have used some work. I knew them both when I was still in the Imperial Senate. You were a bit off."

"You do your best with what you have," Kaila replied. "Records from that era are badly damaged."

"And what do you do, Kes?" The woman asked Poe.

"I own a Swoopbike Racing team," Poe replied quickly. "In the Outer Rim."

"Outer Rim is a dangerous place to be this days," she tsked. "Did you hear what happened on D'Quar?"

The bald man shook his head. "The Resistance had it coming. They're going to keep striking against each other until one of them wipes out the other."

"Oh yeah." Poe forced himself to keep smiling, pushing down the anger he felt as these snobs discussing the fate of the galaxy as if it were a minor disagreement. He wanted to get things over as soon as possible. "Say, while we're on planet, I was hoping to play some sabaac. High stakes. I heard rumor that the finest player in the galaxy likes to frequent here."

"You're talking about General Calrissian," the Quarren replied. "He was definitely here tonight. He usually gets a game going in his room by 0200."

"It might be a bit rich for a Swoopbike Team Owner," the bald man jeered. "You might have to bet your wife."

Poe tightened his hold on Kaila. He was smiling harder now, really suppressing the urge to knock the sithspit on his ass. "Oh, don't worry about me. Come along, Hope. I believe I need something from the bar. I'm sure we'll run into General Calrissian."

As they walked away from the group, Poe's smile disappeared from his face. "I'm really missing shooting people in my X-Wing right now. How are you doing?"

"I'm a Jedi," Kaila whispered. "I am one with the Force and the Force is with me..." She took a deep breath. "And if we'd stayed there a moment longer, I would've skewered him on my lightsaber."

"At least we know General Calrissian is somewhere around here." Poe scanned the room. "But that doesn't explain why he hasn't been communicating with Leia. He's been loyal for over thirty years. He'd never desert."

Poe felt Kaila's back go rigid. "We might have bigger problems than the reason for General Calrissian's radio silence." She nodded her head. "At the entrance."

Poe glanced over to the door. A man had entered in dark robes. He had dark brown hair peppered with grey. "He's cute," Poe commented. "What's the problem? He an ex?"

"Actually yes," Kaila replied. "But that's not the problem. I dated him when we were both at the Jedi Temple."

Poe's eyes widened as the man stalked into the ballroom. "But that means he's a..."

"Yeah."

"But the only Jedi that weren't killed...."

"Yeah." Kaila nodded. "That's one of the Knights of Ren."

* * *

 

Ben had never been so low in Coruscant before. The few times he'd gone to diplomatic functions along with his mother-- which was not often-- it was in the upper levels. The First Order has stayed clear of so close to the Core, except when the Knights of Ren brought the Younglings to the Hand. Still, Ben had never done that himself. The Knights went undercover. Ben hadn't wanted to risk anyone discovering his identity.

Or maybe he didn't have the stomach for it.

Still, he knew where the Hand resided. Level 1312. It was a world of perpetual darkness and grime. Was that part of Snoke's plan? Deprive the younglings of sun, so their souls blackened?

Rey walked alongside him down the street. She looked up at him, her face filled with worry. "So what is the Hand doing with the children?"

"I don't know," Ben replied honestly.

"You were part of this plan... But you never asked anything about it?" Rey shook her head. "Why would you never ask about it?"

Ben turned to face Rey, leaning in close. "Because if I did, Snoke would have told me."

He didn't want to know. It was easy to put it out of his mind if he didn't ask questions. Deep down, he was sure he knew. It was the same thing Snoke had done to him.

Snoke had been powerful. He was able to reach across the galaxy and penetrate his mind, letting hatred and resentment seep into his soul. It had started so slowly, he didn't know when the drops of poison had flooded his veins.

"Here." Ben approached a ventilation shaft. He placed a hand onto it. "We're getting close. This ventilation shaft leads directly to the old Imperial Palace. That's why she lives here. She was able to quickly reach the Emperor, while remaining out of the way."

"Who is she?" Rey asked. "The Hand?"

"I found her during the Purge, but I felt the Dark Side within her so I let her live. She told me she had served the Emperor during the Imperial era. A covert assassin against the Dark Side users who served him. If they got out of line or they were no longer of use... She stepped in. She never told me her name and I didn't care, as long as she served the Knights of Ren. She said she'd do anything I wanted, as long as I let her kill Luke Skywalker. I think she actually believed me when I said she could."

Rey shivered. "And this woman has been left alone with children?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah."

He felt her presence before he saw her. A wave of the dark side washed over him. Then he saw her, face covered in a black scarf. The artificial light caught her emerald green eyes. She pointed a red lightsaber at him. "I felt you coming," she hissed. "But you're not Talzin Ren."

"It's been a long time," Ben said, channeling Kylo Ren as best he could. "You've only seen me in a mask, but I couldn't wear that to Coruscant."

"Who are you?" The Hand demanded.

The Hand worked independent of the rest of the Knights of Ren. They only bothered her when they had another Youngling. With the events of late, perhaps they had been too preoccupied. "I am Commander of the Knights of Ren."

The Hand disengaged her lightsaber. She pulled off her scarf, revealing her golden-red hair and a pretty-- but mature-- face. "Kylo Ren. You've never come here."

Ben nodded. "Things have changed. I needed to see you personally. Supreme Leader Snoke is dead."

"Unfortunate," The Hand said, not sounding like she meant it. "Who killed him?"

"Luke Skywalker," Ben lied. "He's come out of exile. I've come to fulfill my promise. My apprentice--" he nodded to Rey. "--will take over with the younglings. Are you ready?"

A smile curled the Hand's lips. "I have waited thirty years for this day." She strode towards Ben. "I just have one question for you, Kylo Ren--"

Her lightsaber was up in an instant. Ben didn't even have time to breath. He snatched his own up, blue blade meeting red.

"--Just how stupid do you think I am?"


	25. Coruscant: Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This particular chapter has some descriptions child abuse in it.

Rose held up her hands in surrender towards the security guard. She glanced nervously over at Finn. He hadn't put his hands up, his hand still over the place she knew his blaster resided. Things were going to get really, really messy.

"What's going on?" The rude, smoking news presenter demanded. She stalked up to the mounting situation. "Why are there blasters?"

"These two are trying to sneak in," The security guard gestured to Finn and Rose. "Their credentials are no good."

"They're _obviously_ the maintenance workers who are supposed to fix my fresher. Let them in." Miss List held her head up imperiously.

"But Miss List--"

"I said _let them in_." Her voice reached new levels of shrillness. Miss List stalked through the entrance. "Well? Are you three coming?"

The security guard sighed and gestured for Finn, Rose and Chopper to go in with his rifle.

Rose was the first to go, followed closely by Finn and Chopper. They followed the Theelin down the echoing corridors until they came to a dressing room door. She opened it and gestured for them to come in.

Once they were all inside, Miss List turned and appraised them. "Princess Leia must be getting desperate if she's sending her big heroes here."

"Huh?" Finn questioned, sounding wary.

"You two," Miss List gestured to them. "I saw you two in the footage from the Battle of Crait. My friend Suralinda was at the battle. She sends me her scoops now that the Galaxy Beacon's been destroyed. Not that I was able to do anything with it. Intergalactic pissing contest, my producer calls it. Don't want to upset all of the Coruscanti citizens over that messy war stuff. They've had enough of that already."

"Enough of that?" Rose repeated, feeling disgust for the citizens of this planet growing. "Do they have any idea what people are doing? How the galaxy is suffering?"

"Not much," Miss List replied. "They don't want to know. Coruscant was part of a political tug-of-war for sixty years. The epicenter of Palpatine's tyranny. You can't blame them for wanting to stay out of this conflict."

"They're going to die," Finn snapped, stepping forward. "The galaxy is tearing itself apart and the First Order isn't going to leave them alone just because they're ignoring it. If Starkiller Base wasn't destroyed by the Resistance, the Coruscant System would've gone the same was as Hosnian!"

Rose looked at Finn in shock. She hadn't know about that. Miss List looked similarly taken aback. But she recovered quickly, taking a breath. "They know they're going to die. The galaxy is drowning in its own blood. It has been for decades. There's no peace. But maybe they can ignore it long enough to live out their lives. I don't like the First Order. That's why I let you in here. What you're doing is noble. But if you expect me to help past that... If you expect me to report on whatever you have... The only wars people care about here are in holodocs. People who have been dead for so long that it's just entertainment hearing about their deeds."

"We didn't come for you," Rose rushed out quickly. "I mean, if you wanted to help us, we'd be all for that. But we came to transmit a message. This planet is huge. Over one trillion people... Some have to agree with us."

Miss List pulled out a new tabacc stick and an igniter stick. She lit it and blew out smoke. Rose waved it away, coughing. "I thought you weren't allowed to do that here."

"What does it really matter?" Miss List snapped. She pointed to Rose. "So you think some people might agree with you. Over one trillion people... You're right. Odds are in your favour. Even if one percent agrees with you that is ten billion people. That far outstrips what you have now. But what will they bring to you? Of those great numbers, most of them have nothing to their names. The elite have money and ships, but all of them have been gutted by the wars of the past."

"Support," Finn replied.

"Oh, support, right..." Miss List nodded, taking a deep inhale of her tabacc. "I support you. How much good is it doing you other than getting into the building? Support won't put food in your stores or weapons in your hands or ships in your fleet."

"It's all we have right now," Rose replied. She looked to Finn, sighing deeply. They needed to get on with the mission. Miss List wasn't going to help any further than she had.

"I'm sure your mission briefing show you where the transmission room is. Do what you have to do. Just keep me out of it." She looked to her dressing table. "Oh... Before you go... You're FN-2187, right? That's what Suralinda's report said."

Finn nodded warily. "Why?"

Miss List grabbed a datachip. "I received this transmission a few days ago. I think they wanted me to beam it out, but I don't report on anything having to do with the First Order. You might want to look at it before you do whatever it is you do."

Finn accepted the chip, while Rose took out her communicator. Finn plugged it in and the holo of a Stormtrooper appeared on the screen. The Stormtrooper pulled off his helmet, revealing a handsome, dark-skinned man with a scar across his cheek.

"Zeroes," Finn said in awe.

"This is Captain Zeroes of the Star Destroyer _Silencer_. This ship is now under the command of members of the FN Corps. We have broken away from the First Order. We will no longer serve as blaster fodder and executioners for leaders who do not know how to lead. We are no longer stormtroopers. We don't seek war or revenge. We seek freedom. We will, however, fire upon anyone threatening our freedom. This is a warning to the galaxy: Let us live in peace, or we will retaliate."

The message cut out. Miss List looked to Finn and Rose. "I think you two have a Star Destroyer to track down." She strode to the door, opening it and gesturing for them to leave. "Good luck with your message."

* * *

  

"What are we supposed to do?" Poe hissed to Kaila. "A Knight of Ren just walked into the room and we still haven't found General Calrissian."

A million options were going through Kaila's mind. Most of them were awful. Well, all of them were awful. Some of them did seem less awful than others. "He's under cover. Or else he would've come in wearing that stupid helmet. We might have a shot."

"What kind of shot?" Poe asked. He was reaching into his tuxedo jacket for his blaster.

Kaila turned to face Poe, frowning slightly. He was ready to die in the fight. That was why she'd avoided him for so long. She knew that Poe would've given his life to protect her and against a Knight of Ren he didn't have a chance. Kaila cupped his face and kissed him passionately. She hated and loved him for that. "Go find General Calrissian. I'll take care of this."

"Kai, what are you doing?" Poe asked, his voice laced with worry.

"Something stupid," Kaila replied. "But it will buy you some time."

Poe glanced over at the Knight. "Did you really date him?"

"I sort of... Lost my virginity to him." Kaila pat Poe on the cheek. "Don't worry about it. Just find the General."

Before Poe had the chance to argue, she ran off towards the dance floor. He was weaving his way through the couples. Kaila grabbed his hands and led him around. "May I have this dance?"

"Kaila Syndulla," the words were dripping with malice.

"Kyp Durron," Kaila answered in a much more cheerful voice. "It's been a long time. How have you been doing? You're evil now, I suppose. I can't say I didn't see that one coming when you broke up with me. It was a little gross... You being twenty-three when I was sixteen."

Kyp grabbed her wrists. "I felt your presence as soon as I set down on the planet. Is he here with you?"

"He who?" Kaila asked. She knew who Kyp was talking about. She glanced around, hoping to see Poe making progress. She needed to buy him more time.

Kyp leaned in, his breath hot against Kaila's ear. "Solo showed us the true way of the Force... And then he betrayed us. I will make him pay for that."

"Well... Ben's not popular with anybody, is he?" Kaila smiled tightly. She felt Kyp release one of her hands. She knew it was coming...

She snatched the lightsaber out from beneath her skirt, bringing it up to meet Kyp's red blade. Screams of shock erupted from the dance floor.  "This really isn't the appropriate place for this," She pulled her other hand free, gripping her lightsaber. "Why don't we do this somewhere a little less fancy?"

She turned off her lightsaber and broke into a run. The partiers retreated quickly, giving them a wide berth. Kaila made her way to the open doors of the balcony. She jumped up onto the duracrete wall encircling the balcony. She looked back at Kyp. "Thanks for the dance. It's good to catch up with an ex."

She looked only briefly down the seemingly endless void down to the Corsucant surface. They were so high up. Still, she took a breath and threw herself off the balcony.

Despite slowing herself down with the Force, the impact against the airspeeder jolted her. She pulled herself up off the hood and smiled at the confused driver. "Sorry. Can I get a lift?"

She slipped her comm earpiece in. "Hey Flyboy... So... I threw myself off the balcony. Kyp is..." She saw the dark body falling down, now a few speeders back. "Yeah, Kyp is right behind me. He wants to find Ben and kill me. Maybe not in that order."

"I'm coming to get you," Poe said through the comm.

"No!" Kaila cried. "Find General Calrissian. Finish the mission. I'll handle Kyp. I'm a Jedi. This is sort of what I do. I'll see you back at the Ghost."

"Kai..."

"I said I'll see you back at the Ghost," Kaila insisted. She stood up on the speeder and ignited her lightsaber. Kyp Force Jumped between speeders, getting closer and closer. Kaila walked over the seats to take her stance in the back. "Now I've got to deal with this."

* * *

 

Rey reached for her lightsaber, ready to jump in and fight alongside him.

"NO!" Ben cried, reading her intentions through their Bond. "Go find the younglings. I'll take care of her."

Rey hesitated, desperately wanting to defend Ben from the attack of the redhead. But they had a mission. Rey ran into the Hand's home and immediately shivered. The whole feel of the house was dark. Not just through the Force, but physically. The walls were covered with peeling black paint. Nothing decorated them, save for datapads displaying holopix of Luke Skywalker. They were of a much younger Luke than Rey had met. Long before he went into exile... Before he began to teach Ben... Most were bounty notices. The Hand was obsessed with him.

Rey could hear noise coming from upstairs. She walked up the steps slowly, keeping her hand near her lightsaber. There were three doors. The noise came through one that-- Rey felt herself become nauseous-- had a powerful security lock. Rey placed her hand against it and closed her eyes. She reached out with the Force. There was no twin on the other side. It wasn't just meant to keep people out... It was meant to keep the inhabitants in.

"Is anyone in there?" Rey called out.

"You're not Miss Jade," a small voice replied.

"I know," Rey grabbed her lightsaber. "I need you all to stand out of the way of the door. Hold on!"

She pressed her through the metal door, cutting carefully around the lock. She cut enough of the door away that she could get through. She kicked hard, sending the metal door to the ground.

There had been no worry about the younglings getting in the way. Rey felt herself become sick again. There were four metal bunks against the walls. Each of the bunks had binders that kept the younglings in them.

They were different species and possibly different races, but it was difficult to tell. They had nearly all gone chalk white from lack of sun. Only horns or lekku or other extreme characteristic told them apart. They'd all been shaved bald and were malnourished.

Rey couldn't believe that-- in that moment-- she felt she was lucky in her own upbringing.

The younglings were all waking. They looked at her with wide, fearful eyes. "Don't worry!" Rey said softly. "My name is Rey. I'm here to rescue you."

"Where is Miss Jade?" One of the older younglings asked.

"Don't worry about Miss Jade," Rey replied. "She's not going to hurt you."

She carefully used her lightsaber to cut the bindings holding them. But none of the younglings moved from their bed.

"It's all right!" Rey insisted. "You won't be hurt anymore. I'll take you somewhere safe."

Hesitantly, one by one the children began to follow Rey. But how was she supposed to get them out? Ben was still fighting with the Hand-- Miss Jade. She then noticed a barred window in the corridor leading to the downstairs. She picked up her communicator. "BB-8, remote pilot our airspeeder to my coordinates."

There was a beep in response and Rey went to work cutting the window open with her lightsaber. She had just pushed it out of the way when the airspeeder arrived, coming to a stop right in front of the window. BB-8 was good.

"Come on," Rey insisted, helping the younglings in. "You'll be safe. I promise."

When the last one was in, she hesitated.

 _Ben_.....

 _Go, Rey!_ She heard him insist through their bond. _Just get somewhere safe with the younglings!_

She looked to the frightened younglings. She then raised her communicator again. "BB-8, remote pilot our airspeeder to the Ghost. There's something I have to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suralinda Javos is a reporter who joined the Resistance in the Poe Dameron comic. It was hypothesized by Star Wars Explained that she's the reason the Legend of Luke Skywalker has spread so fast.
> 
> Kyp Durron is a Legends character introduced in the Jedi Academy Trilogy. Like here, he was a student of Luke's who went to the Dark Side (albeit temporarily in Legends). And I think most people know who Mara Jade is.


	26. Coruscant: Duels

Poe was torn. Kaila was facing off against her ex-boyfriend-- one of the _Knights of Ren_ \-- and he was unable to help her.

Even if he didn't have to look for General Calrissian, he doubted there was anything he could do. He was amazing in the air. No one could stop him. He was fair in a fight. He had seen enough scrapes and come out on top... But against a Dark Side Force User? He had no chance and he knew it. He still remembered what happened to him against Kylo Ren. How had to watch Lor San Tekka cut down, the stormtroopers razing the village.

A brief, horrible thought entered his mind. What if he were forced to watch Kaila cut down?

Even just thinking about it caused him to become nauseous. Watching someone he cared about-- no, someone he _loved_ \-- killed while he watched had quickly become a fear of his. He'd only just met Lor San Tekka, but it had been horrific to watch him executed. But the person he'd put his mother's ring on?

No, he wasn't going to think about that. Kaila would be able to take care of herself. He needed to focus on the mission.

He was no longer circulating the party with any finesse. He was determined to find Calrissian. He weaved through the people, most of whom were confused by what they'd witnessed with the two Force Users.

As Poe approached the bar, he heard a deep voice chuckle. "Haven't seen something like that in _years_."

His dark hair was slicked back and his moustache had gone white, but he was unmistakable with his blue cape and large smile. "General Calrissian," Poe stepped up to the man flirting with the bartender.

General Calrissian turned to Poe. He held up a finger. "Be with you in a minute, Kid." He turned back to the bartender.

"I don't have a minute." Poe grabbed a hold of Calrissian's shoulder, turning him. "I'm Poe Dameron. You knew my parents."

Calrissian blinked. "Dameron..." He looked over Poe. "You're Shara's boy. I haven't seen you since..."

"Her funeral," Poe replied. "Sir, I need to speak with you right away."

"Calm down," Calrissian replied. "Let me get you a drink. Jari, a glass of smooth Corellian whiskey for my friend here."

"Thank you, but no thanks." Poe leaned in towards Calrissian. "Listen, my girlfriend just threw herself off that balcony to get one of the Knights of Ren out of here. And she says I'm not allowed to rescue her until I retrieve you. Now are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Calrissian sighed and smiled at the bartender. He waved his hand. "Okay, I'm done..." He walked towards the door. "Come on, Kid. Your girl just pulled that stunt? She's a Jedi?"

Poe nodded. "Yes sir."

Lando paused. "But you--"

Poe shook his head. "No sir."

Lando considered that statement for a moment. "You must not win a lot of arguments. So what are a Jedi and the son of some of my Endor compatriots doing here?" He sighed. "Leia sent you, didn't she?"

"You haven't been answering her messages. After Crait... She was worried. She thought there was no way you would have left her out to."

Lando looked away. He stroked his moustache. "Yeah... Well... I couldn't get there. I had some problems getting off planet."

"Problems?" Poe repeated. "What kind of problems?"

"I lost my ship," Calrissian replied. "I had some bad hands of Sabaac and the Lady Luck is currently-- _temporarily_ \-- in the possession of Dominic Raynor. And I haven't had the credits to buy it back from him or get transport off planet."

Poe blinked. He then shook his head. "You haven't contacted General Organa because you're _broke_?"

"Having a string of bad luck," Calrissian insisted. "Sometimes the cards are with you and sometimes..." He threw his hands up in the air.

"How are you staying at the fanciest hotel in the galaxy without any credits?" Poe sighed. "You're scamming them, aren't you?"

"Scam is such a harsh word." Calrissian pat Poe on the shoulder. "Waiting for my luck to turn around."

"Well, your luck's just turned around. I've got a ship that can take you to Leia. Now if you please--"

"Right." Lando nodded. "So what are we going to do for your girl?"

Poe raised his communicator. "I got Calrissian. How are you doing?"

" _In the middle of something_ ," Kaila's voice was strained. " _Just get back to the ship. I'll meet you there_."

"Babe..."

" _Just do it!_ "

"Come on," Poe jerked his head towards the door. "Let's get to the speeder."

"You're just going to listen to her?" Lando questioned. "You really don't ever get to win an argument, do you?" 

* * *

 

The air was thin and heavily polluted. Kaila was having trouble drawing breath. Her lightsaber clashed against Kyps, creating purple sparks. The airspeeder driver swerved, off balance due to the fight that was happening just feet away.

It had been too long since she'd fought with a lightsaber. She hadn't even been around another lightsaber wielder for years before she'd picked up Ben. The most sparring she had was with a training droid.

Truth be told, she had never been in this situation before. She'd never faced a Dark Side User in a head-to-head battle. She swiped her lightsaber at him, very nearly catching him in the chest, but he jumped back enough to miss it. "Kyp, you don't want to do this!" Kaila cried out.

"My name is Exar Ren. I am the leader of the Knights of Ren," Kyp smashed his blade up against Kaila's. "I'm not some pathetic wretch like Ben Solo. I won't fail."

He pushed hard on the lightsabers, pressing the blade down.... Down... down... The pressure caused Kaila's blade to graze against her left arm. She cried out as the flesh began to burn away.

She yanked her arm out of the way and disengaged her lightsaber. The sudden loss of resistance caused Kyp to lose his balance. He wobbled unsteadily. Kaila swiped her foot out, catching him behind the ankle. He yelled as he tumbled off the airspeeder and towards the ground below.

She was sure he would be able to survive. But for now, it was enough. She would be able to get away. Kaila sighed in relief, but she didn't remain idle long. She jumped-- aided with the Force-- onto the hood of an airspeeder heading back towards the hotel. She clipped her lightsaber back to her holster and covered her wounded arm with her hand. She jumped off in front of the hotel. Poe and General Calrissian had just stepped out.

"Didn't know if you'd still be here," she smiled tiredly at Poe. "We should probably not hang around long."

Poe strode to her wordlessly. He cupped her face and kissed her deeply, passionately. He then tenderly took her arm, looking at the wound. "You're hurt again."

"Yeah." Kaila shook her head sadly. "I nearly lost your mom's ring."

"And the rest of your arm," Poe added. "Is this what the rest of our lives are going to be? Me taking care of you after you do something stupid and heroic?"

"The rest of our lives?" Kaila repeated, arching a brow. She then kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sure I'll be taking care of you soon enough. You're just as stupid and heroic. It's just been a little off-balance lately." She pulled back and nodded to General Calrissian. "General Calrissian."

"Hello..." General Calrissian took hold of her right hand, bringing it to his lips. "What do we have here? For someone who has just be fighting a Knight of Ren you are a vision. I'm Lando."

"I know," Kaila replied. "General Calrissian, it's me. Kaila. Kaila Syndulla."

General Calrissian immediately dropped her hand. "Kaila Syndulla."

Kaila nodded.

"Hera's daughter."

Kaila nodded again.

"You used to babysit Ben Solo."

Kaila shrugged. "Still do."

Lando looked Kaila over before rubbing his forehead. "Do yourself a favour, kids... Don't get old."

"The First Order would very much like us to take that advice," Poe said, gesturing to the airspeeder. "Me, I'm not too hot on the idea. So if you'd please get in. I just hope everyone else will be at the ship when we get there."

* * *

 

"You can still back out of this," Ben insisted to the Hand. After the first clash of saber, he'd backed off of her. They were now in a holding pattern, Ben getting into fighting stance while the Hand crouched low and glowered at him.

The Hand didn't listen. She sprang out of her crouch and raced towards him. She was so fast, she must have been using the Force. Rather than strike him down immediately, she met his blade and shoved her boot hard into his knee, pushing herself back. Ben felt the agonizing pain of the tendons tearing. He stumbled, his lightsaber going wild and hitting the side of the building, tearing through some of the bricks.

The Hand skidded across the ground, still ready to fight. Ben panted, trying to calm the pain in his leg. He didn't have to fight her. He didn't have to give in to Kylo Ren. He just needed to give Rey enough time to get away with the Younglings.

It was agony to run, but Ben broke off in the opposite direction. He didn't care about the pain. He'd felt pain for years at the hands of Snoke. He'd been taught to ignore it. He needed to get the Hand away from her home. Give Rey the time she needed. He led her down a narrow alley between two dilapidated buildings. He was trapping himself, letting her get him into a corner. This was not how Kylo Ren fought.

But maybe it was how Ben Solo fought.

He heard the crunch of her boots behind him. She was in no hurry. She was confident in her skills. She had been trained by Darth Sidious himself.

But he had been trained by Luke Skywalker and Snoke.

Raising his hand, Ben brought the wall of one of the buildings down on top of her. Dust and debris filled the air as bricks tumbled down onto the woman. Ben kept his lightsaber out and felt with the Force. She wasn't dead. It wasn't enough to kill her. Just enough to immobilized her. A bloodied hand pushed out of the rubble, creating a gap. He could see one emerald eye and a silver of bloodstained face.

Some might have mistaken the action for helplessness. Ben knew that is was a trap. Something to lure him into a sense of superiority to his foe. He would show no mercy. He couldn't. She would take that mercy and make him pay for it. He brought his lightsaber down, ready to ignite it through the hole, right through her skull.

The rubble erupted as if a detonator had gone off, the Force sending bricks and fragments all over the alley. Ben was knocked back from the power of it, his body battered by the debris. He needed to get to his feet and face her. She was still injured, but she was like a wounded animal: ready to tear out his throat if he gave her the chance.

Ben ignited his lightsaber once again as she leapt at him. He cut her across the cheek, but didn't see the vibroblade in her left hand. It caught him just under the jaw. He threw out a hand and sent her crashing into what was left of the brick wall. This hardly slowed her down and she kept coming in for the attack.

He hurled debris at her with the Force, but she continued to come for him. She jumped onto his back. She was much smaller than him, but her kicking and pulling sent him down to the ground. They rolled along the ground, fighting for dominance. Their brawl led them back out of the alley into the main street. He should've had the upper hand. He was huge compared to her. But she kept slicing at him with her vibroblade and Force Pushing him back. His body was aching. When she was on top of him, ready to bring her lightsaber down, he sent her flying back with the Force, sending her into the side of a ventilation duct. She had lost her weapons in the melee. Her head was bowed. Ben approached her, gripping his lightsaber tightly in his hand. She was fighting to get back up.

He approached her, ready to plunge his lightsaber into her chest.

She then raised her head. But... It wasn't.

"Don't do this," Rey's beautiful face pleaded.

It was just a moment's hesitation. But it was enough. Ben felt the stab through his leg. A needle. He fell to the ground. Already the toxin was taking effect, paralyzing his body.

"What have you done?" Ben demanded. "What have you done to me?"

The Hand stood over him. "Don't fight it. Just let go." She raised her lightsaber over her head, ready to bring it down.

Her body jerked forward as the green blade shot through her chest. When it disappeared, her body fell in a heap revealing Rey, her face etched with fury and strength.

And there was one other thing... Love. Ben could see the love in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Karen Traviss, who wrote the book Sacrifice. The Ben-Mara fight is an homage to the Jacen-Mara fight from that book. If I was going to have Jacen's New Canon Counterpart fight Mara Jade I HAD to homage the fight.


	27. Coruscant: Union

Rey took deep breath, trying to steady herself. The pure, unadulterated rage that had swept over her at the sight of Jade about to strike down Ben had passed. She didn't regret her decision to kill the woman, but she knew her anger had taken over. She felt the tendrils of darkness sweeping through her.

She didn't allow herself long to linger on the thoughts. Ben was still laying flat on the ground. Rey stepped over the corpse and fell to her knees beside him. "Ben..." He had been cut. He was bruised. She saw the needle deep in his leg. She pulled it out, but knew it wouldn't be enough.

His eyes were closing.  "Lecepanine," he managed to murmur before his eyes closed and he went completely rigid.

Rey pulled out her datapad and typed in Lecepanine. It caused muscle paralysis and sleep. It wasn't lethal. Jade had wanted to do that with her own lightsaber. She probably had a cure on her, in case she wanted to rouse her victim.

Rey crawled over to the corpse and began to search her. She found a pouch on her belt containing similar darts. In another pouch, she found ones that looked different. She scanned it with her datapad. Yes, they were an antitoxin.

She injected it into Ben. He groaned and began to move, but wasn't quite awake yet. She needed to get him out of the street. She needed to get him somewhere she could treat him.

Carrying him was out of the question. Rey was able to carry a lot, thanks to her years hauling scrap from down spaceships, but Ben was built like a brick. She rose to her feet and grabbed Jade's lightsaber-- better to keep it herself than leave it for anyone to grab. She then held out her hand to levitate Ben with the Force. She guided him carefully back to Jade's house.

Rey levitated Ben all the way up the stairs, bypassing the horrific prison the children had been in and to the room down the corridor. Jade's room. She carefully laid Ben on the bed. He was beginning to wake.

"What--"

"You're going to be alright," Rey insisted. "I just need to find some things to patch you up."

"The Younglings," Ben asked, looking around groggily. "Are they okay?"

"They're fine," Rey replied. "I've sent them back to the Ghost. BB-8 will take care of them. Captain Syndulla and Poe are already on the way back to the ship with General Calrissian. I heard it over the comm."

She knew she should've commed them to tell them what had happened with Ben and Jade. They would need to get transport back out. But for the moment, Rey was more concerned with making sure Ben was bandaged up. He was badly injured from the fight.

Even if she horribly mistreated the children in her care, Jade had to keep some sort of medikit. She wouldn't have wanted the children injured permanently. Rey went to the fresher and found a kit. It wasn't as good as they could get on the Ghost, but it would do for now.

Rey went back to Jade's room and sat on the bed next to Ben. She took out a bactapatch and gingerly applied it to the underside of his jaw. "That doesn't look like a lightsaber cut."

"Vibroblade," Ben replied, his voice still rough.

More anger at the woman flared up inside of Rey. "Come on, sit up," Rey urged. She helped Ben up with tender hands. She stripped off his coat and began to unbutton his shirt. She hissed in a breath as his broad chest was revealed. Would there ever be a time when she wasn't affected by the sight of it? Once he'd been stripped of his tops, Ben laid back down on the bed. His red kyber crystal dangled from the leather rope around his throat. Angry welts had developed on his chest. Rey had briefly seen the carnage left by their fight. Ben had been pelted with bricks. She gently ran her hand over his pectorals. "Are your ribs broken?"

Ben swallowed visibly. He shook his head. "I don't think so."

Rey retrieved a bacta bulb and began to apply it to the welts and bruises. Ben probably would've been best treated in a bacta suit, but beggars couldn't be choosers. He had closed his eyes and was letting out puffs of air, small relieved sighs with each application.

"My leg..." He groaned. "I think she snapped some tendons."

Rey slipped off Ben's boots. She then placed a hand on Ben's hip and looked up at him wordlessly. He nodded and grimaced as he lifted his hips. She unsnapped them and slid them down his long legs, revealing his thick thighs and calves. She tugged the pants down all the way, abandoning them on the floor. He was now just in his underwear. Despite the seriousness of the situation, she did smile at the tight black pants. They were most likely the one clothing he still wore from his Kylo Ren days. Of course Kylo Ren wore black underpants.

Rey gently touched his knee and he hissed, grimacing in pain. Rey soothed her fingertips over the bruised flesh. She didn't know how to heal it with what Jade had in her medikit. But there might something she could do. She closed her eyes and reached out with the Force. She bit her lip as she let herself drift inside of Ben. She gasped as she felt his pain and his worry. She also touched onto his feelings for her.

It was so dangerous. The last time they'd done this, they'd nearly blown up the _Ghost_. Still, she needed to press forward.

Rey settled her mind on his knee. She could feel the throbbing pain as if it were her own. But she could see the torn sinew. She concentrated on the ragged flesh, stitching it back together piece by piece. Slowly, she felt the pain lessen. It would not be gone completely, but it time would heal the rest.

When Rey finally opened her eyes, she saw Ben was sitting up and watching her wide-eyed, utterly frozen. She stared back at him, just as still.

It was as if they were drawn together magnetically. She lunged at him and he caught her up in his arms. They mashed their mouths together frenetically. Rey slid a hand into his thick, dark locks. She needed more. She could feel their connection. This was not a bond. This wasn't a string attaching them. This was a floodgate spilling open. She didn't know where she ended and he began. She didn't want to know. She didn't want the sensation to end. She wouldn't _let_ the sensation end.

Large hands began to tear at her clothes. Rey eagerly helped, pulling them off of her. As more of her flesh was revealed, Ben pressed hot kisses to her skin. She had never done anything like this before... The Bond told her that neither had he. It didn't matter. They were acting purely on instinct.

Even if she hadn't been able to feel his arousal pressing against her, she could have felt the sensations through the bond, almost as if they were her own feelings. As far as she knew, they were her own feelings. She had known she wanted Ben, but in the moment she realized she was _starving_ for his touch.

With a groan, Ben flipped them over so Rey lay back on the bed. He looked down at her, his brown eyes wide. "You're the most perfect thing I've ever seen," he said plainly.

"Are you--" Rey started to speak.

"I'm fine," Ben assured her. He leaned in, kissing her deeply. His large hands roamed over her body. A part of her felt like it should be distressing to be covered by such a large body... But it felt... Safe... Reassuring... Unbelievably erotic.

Rey let her hands wander over his back. She tried to be careful to avoid any of the injuries he'd sustained in his fight with Jade. Through the Bond she could feel that Ben had forgotten about any of his trauma, both the physical from his fight and the psychological of his years of torment.

There was no one in the world-- no one in the galaxy-- except for her.

One more piece of clothing and they were completely and utterly naked... Skin-to-skin... Soul-to-soul.

Ben's body quaked as he looked down at her with questioning eyes. His lips were parted, taking in small, excited breaths. The kyber crystal dangled down, rocking back and forth. Rey nodded briefly in consent. There was no way they could stop now. She needed Ben like her next breath of air.

She didn't know how to describe the moment it happened. It felt so new, yet somehow so familiar. Rey was reminded of when they first touched hands through the Force in her hut on Ahch-to. She hadn't realized it had been missing, but now that it was here, she didn't know how she'd lived without it.

Her other half.

She felt the damp tears on her face. As she looked up into Ben's deep brown eyes, she saw similar tears sliding down his reddened cheeks.

Rey was lost in their bond, in Ben. She didn't know how much time has passed. It could have been a second, it could have been a million years. Nothing mattered except for the two of them, locked in that intimate embrace.

Ben was shaking as he leaned down, pressing warm kisses to her neck. His torso pressed against hers.  "I love you," he whispered into her ear. "I love you, Rey."

She clutched to him. No one had ever said those words to her, not that she could remember. "I love you, Ben."

She felt the warmth in her chest. No... It wasn't in her chest. It was on her chest. Ben jerked back, rolling off of her abruptly. He looked down. He had felt something too.

Rey reached out a shaking hand. "Ben..." She slipped her fingers beneath the kyber crystal, turning it over in her hand. The blood red hue had disappeared, leaving the crystal a deep amethyst. Even more unbelievable, the halves of the crystal-- gulfed by the large crater between them-- had melded together, leaving the crystal flawless.

"How did that happen?" Ben asked, his voice shaking.

"You know how it happened," Rey replied.

Large hands came up to cup her face. Ben pressed his forehead to hers. "I knew it was you." He still cried as he held her close. "The moment they told me a girl was with the droid. I knew... I was so angry. I'd seen you in my visions for as long as I could remember. It wasn't clear, but... I knew... Somehow I always knew..." He let out a ragged breath. "We were always going to end up here."

Rey nodded. She hadn't wanted to admit it, but the moment she'd seen his face on the Finalizer she knew him somehow. What had just happened between them had echoed through the Force, through time, all the way through their lives. Ben was her destiny. What had just happened proved it. No matter what they were going to do, they were going to do it together.


	28. The Ghost: Allies

Ben and Rey were quiet as they took the Hand's airspeeder back up to the _Ghost_. Words seemed unnecessary. Trite. Ben navigated the speeder one handed, keeping one locked with Rey's. He didn't want to let her go. Not yet. He knew he would have to once they got back to the ship.

Ben brought the speeder to a stop in the speeder bay. The _Ghost_ wasn't far away. He turned to Rey, looking her over. She was smiling softly at him. He leaned in and kissed her softly, wanting to enjoy one last moment of togetherness. He reluctantly released Rey's hand, but still felt her presence as strong as ever through the Force. They walked slowly towards the ship, knowing their precious time together was at an end.

Rose and Finn were loading some things into the ship. Dameron, Chopper and Kaila were standing close to each other, discussing something over a datapad.

Kaila glanced up as Ben approached. She touched Dameron on the arm and handed him the pad. She stalked over to Ben. "Do you even need me to tell you what kind of trouble you are in right now?"

Ben discreetly gestured for Rey to get onto the ship. He scowled, recalling what _he'd_ felt when Kaila and Dameron were intimate. "You felt it?"

"Oh, I'm sure every Force User on the _planet_ felt it," Kaila snapped, keeping her voice quiet. She leaned in close. "You know, Ben... I can't actually stop you from doing anything. I advised you to stay away from Rey for now and you went through the motions of doing that. Maybe I should've known sending you two on a mission together would create sparks, but... _Really_? I know you two were desperate virgins, but could you not wait at least until we were off the planet? This was a dangerous mission and you decided to delay us by getting your rocks off."

Ben looked down at the large bactapatch on Kaila's arm. "What happened?"

Kaila covered her wounded arm with her hand. "You also failed to tell me that my _ex-boyfriend_ is not only one of your Knights of Ren, but was your second-in-command who took over now that you've changed sides."

"Exar Ren--" He paused. "--Durron... Did that to you? You _dated Durron_? How did I not know that?"

"Not the point!" Kaila snapped. "He's on the planet and he sensed we were here. He tried to kill me and thankfully I was able to get away. But he's not dead and I'm sure he's still looking for us. We need to get out of here." She pulled back from Ben, gesturing towards the ramp. "Everyone! On the ship! We're taking off!"

Ben followed after his furious master onto the ship. "The Younglings. Are they--"

"If you were worried, you should've come quicker." Kaila cringed. "Oh, for a different wording. Yes, they're fine. Terrified out of their minds. They're all huddled together in my quarters. General Calrissian and BB-8 are trying to calm them down."

"And Lando is okay..."

"Fine. The Hand...?" 

"Dead," Ben replied, not getting into it any further. Kaila went into the cockpit and sat in the pilot's seat. Dameron had taken the co-pilot's seat. He was glancing back at Ben warily.

Ben noticed a puff-cot nestled in the corner. "What's that for?"

"We're a bit full up," Dameron was working at the nav computer. "Kai and I will sleep in here while the Younglings take our quarters."

"General Calrissian is sharing a room with you," Kaila added, flipped switches and taking the controls. The ship began to rise.

"Lando's in my room?" Ben shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Kaila glared back at him. "I don't have a lot of faith right now in what you think is a good idea."

"I haven't spoken to Lando in ten years," Ben pointed out. "I don't even know what he knows about me."

"He's actually very excited to see you." Kaila looked back over her shoulder briefly. She seemed to be searching his face for reaction.

Ben's breath caught in his throat. He didn't want to show his emotions, but they were so raw. He lowered his head. "Lando doesn't know?"

Kaila shook her head. "I guess not. Your mom told me and Ezra because you were hunting us. But I don't know if she told anyone else outside your family. I told Poe..."

" _You_ were the one who told Dameron?" Ben snapped, glaring at Dameron.

Dameron glared daggers at Ben. He reached over and touched Kaila's thigh in a possessive move. " _She_ was living with me and _you_ were trying to kill her. She wasn't under any obligation to maintain your secret identity."

Kaila reached her left hand down and covered Dameron's hand. Ben noticed there was something glittering on her finger. A ring she hadn't worn before. "I guess your mom wanted to ruin Lando's memory of you."

It wouldn't last. Lando would find out the truth eventually. Everyone would. He didn't have much longer he could be Ben Solo. He would have to face being a disgraced Kylo Ren.

Dameron turned away from the nav computer. "Okay, so I've finished calculating our trip. Had to finish it myself while you were yelling at the kid, but I think we should be alright. Managed to get us down to six days in the air."

"Good. I don't think we'll want any more than that with the number of people on this bird." Once the ship had gone into hyperspace, Kaila got to her feet. She walked to Ben, touching his cheek. " _Nerra_ , are you alright?"

Ben slipped his kyber crystal beneath his shirt. He wasn't sure she'd seen it and he didn't want to talk about it yet. He shook his head. "No. Just... I'm sorry. I should have thought more. About the team."

"I meant your injuries." She looked him over. "Do you need to be looked at more?"

Ben shook his head. "I'm fine. Just... Go back to flying. I'm tired." He slunk out of the cockpit. Whatever good feelings he'd been having at joining with Rey had quickly disappeared. He wanted to hold on to just a sliver of it.

But he understood why Kaila was angry. They'd gone against the mission. They'd put everyone in danger. He would have done it all again in a heartbeat, but he still knew what they'd done was wrong.

"Ben...."

Ben raised his head and looked at Lando. It had been so long since he'd seen him. He'd gained  a little weight, a few more wrinkles, but otherwise... He was Lando.

Ben's breath was taken away when he embraced him without hesitation. When Lando pulled back, he chucked Ben under the chin. "Look at you! When Kaila told me you were here..." There were tears in his eyes. "I thought you were gone, Kid."

"No, I'm alright." Ben sighed. "Well... Not alright... But alive. It's been a rough few years."

Lando clapped him on the shoulder, leading him into their quarters. "I'm glad to see you working with the Rebellion. Knew you'd end up here. But I am surprised your dad and Luke didn't come to get me."

Ben blinked, sitting down on his bed. He just continued to blink. "You don't know."

"Coruscant isn't big on news about the war and your mom's messages have been pretty sparse. What don't I know?" Lando looked Ben over. His smile immediately melted away and he stepped back. He then sank down into the desk chair. "Both of them?"

Ben nodded. He looked down. He couldn't look at Lando.

"How?"

Ben swallowed hard. "Luke gave himself over to the Force. He used the last of his power to keep the First Order from destroying what was left of the Rebellion." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "My father was killed by Kylo Ren."

He felt the tears stinging his eyes. He forced himself to look up. "He was killed by me."

Lando sat up, his eyes widening.

Ben hated telling him. But... He couldn't let Lando not know. It didn't feel right. If Lando was going to be okay with him, it wasn't going to be some false version of Ben Solo. He was going to have to know the ugliness that was Kylo Ren.

"Mom didn't want you to know. Didn't want to ruin your image of me. But..." Ben's voice broke. "It was me. I was the one who massacred Uncle Luke's school. I became Kylo Ren. I served under Snoke. And when my father came to save me... I put my lightsaber through him."

Ben lowered his head again. He couldn't look at Lando now that the story was out.

He felt the hand on his shoulder. "It looks like Han succeeded."

Ben's head jerked up in shock. If he'd expect Lando to say anything, that was the last thing on the list. "How can you say that?"

"Look at you." Lando knelt down in front of Ben. "I don't know a lot about the Force... But Luke talked about how powerful it was. How seductive the Dark Side was. I know how scared your parents were of Snoke. Hearing that you became _that thing_... Does that make me happy? But I see you here, now... And you're Ben." He looked down. "Ben, I knew. Han and Leia told me. But When Kaila told me you were here... Your parents always believed you could come back. And you have. I didn't want to push you to talk about anything you didn't want to. Kaila didn't bring up Kylo Ren, so I didn't either."

Ben felt the tears threatening again.

"You really killed Han?" Lando's voice sounded a bit lost, empty.

Ben nodded. "And I was leading the troops Uncle Luke faced off against. I didn't kill him... But I might as well have. I'm trying to make up for it all. But I don't know if I ever will. But I have to try."

Lando sighed. "Your uncle used to say something... Do or do not... There is no try."

* * *

 

Rey looked into Kaila and Poe's quarters at the younglings. Kaila's bed had been moved into Ben's room for Lando and six puff-cots had been set up around the room. The younglings were restlessly sleeping. The fear and confusion was thick through the room. They needed to be treated gently. BB-8 was silently rolling around the room, checking on the younglings. The droid seemed to be the only thing they really trusted.

"I'm going to need your help." Rey looked up at Finn at her side. "You know what this is like, don't you?"

Finn hesitated. He turned his head to look in at the younglings. Rey knew what he was thinking. It was the same thoughts that had been running through her mind. They were so frail, so tiny. They had been mistreated so badly. "I think we were fed better than they were."

He pulled Rey in, hugging her tightly. "You did a good thing, Rey."

"These younglings are the future of the Jedi," Rey said, leaning in to Finn's chest, enjoying the warmth of her friend's embrace. "But they've already been hurt so much."

"They can recover." Finn gave her an extra squeeze. "They have a chance now."

"As long as I have your help." Rey gave Finn one more squeeze before she pulled away. She felt a little guilty about touching him after everything that had happened with Ben. No, she shouldn't have felt guilty. Finn was her friend. He was devoted to Rose.

"You always have it," Finn replied. He closed the door to the youngling's quarters. "I'm going to need your help too."

Rey felt a bolt of anger through the Force. She looked back and saw Ben standing in the doorway of his quarters. No, it wasn't Ben in that moment. He was every inch Kylo Ren.

Finn looked back. He pulled away from Rey. It wasn't out of guilt. Instead, Rey could see absolute determination on his face. "Yours too."

Kylo blinked. No, it was Ben again. He looked confused. "My help?"

"Tell me about the _Silencer_ ," Finn demanded.

Ben seemed to think about it for a moment. "Imperial II-class Star Destroyer. One of the oldest ships still in operations. Retrofitted to First Order standards. Used primarily for training and support."

"I was never on it," Finn's voice was sharp. "But it seems a lot of the other FN Corps have."

"What are you talking about?" Ben's voice was just as sharp. But Rey could tell neither of them were showing any animosity with each other. They were just utterly serious in what they were discussing.

"When Rose and I were going to send the transmission, we got one from the _Silencer_." Finn held up a datachip. "Members of the FN Corps have commandeered it and broken away from the First Order. They say they want to be left alone... But I don't think it will take much convincing."

Ben took the datachip from Finn. "You want to convince members of the FN Corps to join the Rebellion?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Rey looked from Ben and then to Finn. They were staring at each other intently. She was confused, but somewhat pleased.

"We can't do it now. Too many people on this ship," Ben replied. "We should discuss it with my mother. We might need to go in with a Squadron. Even if we're trying to negotiate with them..."

Finn nodded. "...If they want to be left alone, they might fire on anyone who comes near them."

Ben nodded along with him. "We should go to my mother with as complete a plan as we can. Dameron said we have six days to work things out. We might want to get him in on this too. He's a good tactician. Hux really hated him."

"I think we have the start of a plan." Finn reached out a hand towards Ben.

Shockingly, Ben took it and shook it hard. Finn then released his hand. "We'll talk about this more in the morning."

He walked back to his quarters, shutting the door. Rey frowned in confusion. "What just--"

In an instant, she was trapped between the wall and his firm frame. Ben-- or was it Kylo?-- was kissing her breathless.

After a moment, he pulled away from her. But he remained close, his breath warm against her. "I know he's your friend. I only have one friend and she's hugged me. But still..." He kissed her again hungrily, possessively.

Rey wanted to wrap her legs around his waist and just give into the heady desires. But Ben withdrew, leaving her panting. Ben cupped her cheek with one large hand. "I know what you're thinking. Lando will notice if I'm not in our quarters."

With that, he walked back into his quarters and disappeared. Rey remained outside, trying to calm herself down. Now that the hunger had been awoken in her, she didn't know if she'd ever be sated.


	29. The Ghost: Relationships

Poe woke up slightly disoriented. It took him a moment to realize he was on the floor in the cockpit. He realized quickly what had woken him up: Kaila was next to him tossing and turning. He gently stroked her arm. “Kai? Babe?”

Kaila jerked up quickly, her skin a paler green than normal. “I was doing it again?”

Poe nodded. He drew her close to him, nuzzling her lekku with his cheek. “This is the third night in a row you’ve been thrashing around like this. What’s going on?”

"It's the ship." Kaila sighed, closing her eyes, leaning against him. "I can feel it. Too many people crammed into too small of a space. And there's so much confusion and fear. Ben... Rey... The younglings... They're putting out so many raw emotions. It's throwing me off... Making me restless. I’m trying to shut it out, but it’s hard.”

Poe tightened his embrace. Kaila always slept soundly beside him. If she were so restless, it must have been affecting her deeply. He nuzzled against her. This made Kaila giggle softly. "Your beard tickles."

Pulling back, Poe rubbed his chin. His facial hair had gotten quite thick. "Do you think I should get rid of it?"

" _No_!" Kaila answered a little too quickly, making Poe laugh.

He bowed his head, rubbing his cheek against her shoulder. He then playfully nibbled at her skin. "So is this a fetish I should worry about? I've seen your holodocs. You really like doing them about Jedi Masters with beards..."

"My feelings for Master Kenobi are pure. And you are the one who reaps the benefits."

Poe nuzzled his nose and cheek against Kaila's lekku. "So what does it feel like?"

Kaila reached back and stroked his hair. "Your beard against my lekku? So sexy, I'd jump you now if I wasn’t so out of sorts."

"Not that. The Force." He had known her for so long. He felt so deeply for her. But in some ways she was a mystery. Being a Jedi was so important to her life, but he didn't really understand it. It hadn't bothered him. Before when he saw Kaila it was just about fun. But things had changed. He couldn't ignore something that was so vital to her life. "The only time I've felt the Force is when you showed me that vision and when Kylo Ren read my mind. But I know it's different for you. I want to... I need to... I want to know what it's like for you."

Kaila covered Poe’s hand with hers. He could feel the ring on her finger. "You've never asked me that before."

"I'm asking now."

She let out a small sigh. "It's like... The galaxy is connected together with these invisible threads. But I can touch them. It connects me to everything. I can feel everything... Good, bad... Light, dark... People think the Jedi are wizards, but we're more like... connection points. The threads flow through us. We're just a small part of the Force, but we can feel out way through it. But right now... All of the confusion and fear on this ship... It’s like when you suddenly come out of hyperspace into an asteroid field. Everything is disorienting and painful and jerking you around..."

Poe wasn't sure he really understood what Kaila was saying. It would probably make perfect sense to another Jedi. Was her interest in him a lack of options? She had dated that Durron. "I must seem pretty simple in comparison."

“Not at all. After I woke up from the holocron incident, I felt this steady thrum throughout my body. At first I thought maybe I was still injured. But then I realized what it was...” She pulled out of Poe’s arms and turned around, pressing a hand to his bare chest. She tapped a finger in time with his heart. "It stays with me. Keeps me calm. Keeps me anchored. I don't know what I'd be feeling right now with these out of control kid feelings without that. Without you. You have a beautiful heart, Poe Dameron. You're brave. And smart. And funny. And giving... Not to mention incredibly sexy. There's nothing simple about that. It's extraordinary."

Kaila’s fingers crept up Poe’s chest, hooking beneath the empty chain around his neck. “This doesn’t look right.” She unhooked the chain before slipping the ring off her finger and sliding it back onto the chain. She held it up to him. "We keep forgetting to do this."

" _Did_ we forget?" Poe asked. He covered his hand with hers. "I always knew where it was."

"I keep advising Ben to go slow," Kaila whispered. "What kind of master would I be if I couldn't heed my own advice?"

"Fifteen years is _fast_ to you?" Poe gently squeezed Kaila's hand.

"Things have only been different for a few weeks and you know it." Kaila’s hand slipped away, leaving him holding his necklace.  "And it's been intense and I've been happy being with you... But it'll change once the mission is over. You have to go back to your command and I'll need to keep training Ben. What if..."

Poe leaned in closer. "What if what? Kai, you said it yourself... We're not kids. So let's cut the bantha dung: I love you. If we want a relationship, we have to actually say we want it, actually try. Since you woke up, I've been calling you my girlfriend and it's felt _right_. I'm not about to stop doing that and jump into bed with someone else because you've got to go off and teach Ben Solo how to be a good person. I can be patient."

Kaila laughed. "You are the opposite of patient."

Poe smirked. "Okay, maybe I'll ask you for some dirty holos of yourself. The point is, I can wait for you to come back to the base and be with me. If the Force has put my heart with you... We should listen to it." He held up the chain. "Putting this on you-- even just for a mission-- felt right."

"I can't wear that on my finger yet," Kaila admitted. "It's too soon."

"Okay." Poe slipped the chain around her neck, clasping it. He pressed a kiss to the swell of her breast where the ring lay. "Wear it there. It looks good on you."

Kaila stroked Poe's hair. "You sure about this?"

Poe nodded against her. "Until you're ready to wear it somewhere else... This is fine." He raised his head and smiled at her.

Kaila leaned down and kissed him sweetly. "But now you don't have anything around your neck. You've been wearing this as long as I've known you!"

"I'll get used to it eventually." Poe shrugged. But he did feel naked without anything around his neck.

"Wait--" Kaila reached out to her pack, which rested against the wall. They had brought some of their things into the cockpit so not to unduly disturb the younglings. She dug into the pack, searching around. She soon pulled out a chain. A sliver of blue crystal hung from it. "Ezra's first lightsaber was destroyed by Darth Vader. The crystal in it was broken into two pieces. Completely useless as a focusing gem. But he kept it. When I was born, he made this out of a part of it. The other half is with Jai. Neither of us ever wore them. It never felt right. But now I know why... Jai gave his to his wife...”

She clasped the chain around Poe's neck. The crystal fell exactly where the ring once had. “And I was supposed to give mine to you."

Poe touched the small crystal sliver. "A kyber crystal... But these are priceless!"

"And so is your mother's wedding ring, you nerfherder!" Kaila laughed and gave him a playful shove.

Poe pressed Kaila back onto the puff-cot and slunk on top of her. "Okay, I hope you’re feeling a bit better. Because you and me... We're doing this." He grinned at her. "I'm actually fairly sure it's galactic law that we have sex after exchanging necklaces."

"Well, if it's law..." She continued to laugh as he kissed her. "But really? In the cockpit?"

"There's nowhere else for us, Babe. Besides... It's a bit of a fantasy of mine." Poe nipped her jaw. "So are you up for it?"

"I love you," she said between laughs.

Poe grinned as he kissed her once again. "When we get back to base, I've got an X-Wing cockpit we'll have to break in."

* * *

 

Finn sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the frozen holo of Zeroes. It hadn't been long since Finn had seen him. Not really. But it seemed like a lifetime ago.

He and Zeroes were the only ones left. Slip had died in Finn's arms on Jakku. Nines had been killed on Takodana, after he and Finn had fought. Finn could still hear his vocoded voice in his head.

 _Traitor_.

He had run from the FN Corps and never looked back. Zeroes had left the First Order, but he hadn't abandoned his brothers. He'd brought the Corps with him.

Maybe if Finn had waited a bit, he would've gone with them. Finn wondered... Had they been at all inspired by what he had done? Did Finn leaving make them realize that they didn't need to be beholden to the Order?

He never hated them. He hated the First Order, but the stormtroopers were still his brothers. They were just like him. They hadn't know anything but serving the First Order. If things had just been a little different, he would still be with them. Zeroes had been so hesitant to fire... Eventually he'd given in, but there was hope.

Now they'd broken away.

Finn had become fiercely loyal to his friends in the Rebellion. Poe and Rey and Rose were the most important people in his life. But that didn't change how he felt about the FN Corps. You couldn't easily toss away twenty years of brotherhood.

He felt gentle hands on his shoulders. Rose leaned over him, wrapping her arms around him. "Are you still looking at that?"

"What if the General doesn't think it's worth going after them?" Finn asked, caressing Rose's arm.

Rose kissed him on the cheek. "Then she's not as smart as we think she is. A stormtrooper unit who has defected _and_ have a fully operational Star Destroyer? The Rebellion could use that kind of firepower."

"But what if she _does_ say no?"

Rose crawled over the bed to sit down beside Finn. She took the holo from his hand and set it aside, taking his hands. "It's really important to you, isn't it? Not strategically. Just... Personally."

"This is the first time they've had a choice," Finn replied. He squeezed Rose's hands. "I want them to make the right choice. I know the Rebels just shoot at stormtroopers like they're mindless drones... Nothing but armor... But I've seen their faces. I was one of them. They're people who have never had a choice in any of this."

"If General Organa says no, we'll find a way." Rose smiled up at him. "We won't let this go. You know you've got me to help. And Poe and Rey and Ben and Kaila. None of us we'll let this go."

Finn smiled warmly at Rose. He brought up a hand to caress her cheek before leaning in to kiss her. "You'd go against General Organa for me?"

"I'd go against anybody for you," Rose replied. She kissed him back.

Finn sank into the sensations of kissing Rose. They were still exploring the physical side of their relationship. He'd never been with anyone before. The stormtrooper program wasn't exactly a good place for romance, especially if you were interested in girls. Female troopers were few and far between. But Rose was patient with him, letting him explore their relationship slowly. They'd been sharing a bed for over two weeks. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back to sleeping alone once they returned to base.

"We're a couple of days away from base," Rose murmured against his mouth. "First thing we do when we get there will be to talk to her about this."

Finn thought about Ben and his lengthy estrangement, not to mention everything he'd done while he'd been Kylo Ren. "You know... I think General Organa is going to be pretty busy once we get back."

* * *

 

Ben sat hunched over the table in the lounge. Chopper watched over him, warbling softly.

"I'm trying to do something," Ben snapped at the droid. "Don't distract me."

Chopper whistled and waved his pincer at Ben in what he was fairly certain was supposed to be a rude gesture. He shook his head and turned his attention back to what he was doing.

There was such a myth surrounding the creation of a lightsaber. The techniques to do it were closely protected. While most non-Jedi thought it must have been incredibly complicated, using the Force to create these intricate components, it was actually fairly simple. The most difficult part of the endeavor was acquiring the kyber crystal focusing gem. The rest was just power cells and wires and a case.

Master Bridger had parts left in his bunk. Rey had given them to Ben. He also had what was left of his previous lightsaber, although he preferred to use as little of that one as possible.

Ben took the crystal off of the rope from around his neck. He immediately missed the weight of it. But he'd done what he wanted to do. He'd purified the crystal.

No... Not just him. They had done it. Him and Rey.

He carefully placed the crystal into its compartment and closed up the casing. He turned it over in his hands, examining it. He placed his thumb on the power switch and took a deep breath.

The vividly violet blade thrummed to life. Ben looked it over closely. It wasn't jagged and untamed like his old lightsaber. The beam was crisp and clean.

It was so rare to feel his lips curve in a smile, but they did as he turned off the lightsaber. Maybe it was a small step, but it was still a step in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I watched Twilight of the Apprentice to find out what happened to Ezra's first lightsaber and while it never shows him taking it, it does mysteriously disappear from the ground. It was probably just something they forgot to put into the scene, being busy with Ahsoka and Vader. But I like to believe he took it with him and the crystal was just damaged when Vader destroyed the saber.


	30. The Ghost: Friction

BB-8 had done a lot of things since he and Poe had entered the Resistance. He was a good droid and liked to help out any way he could. It helped, because Poe wanted to do as many things as he could as well.

Of course, BB-8 could assist in flying an X-Wing, as well as help repair it. But he also did would as a spy, ferrying information to the Resistance. He'd helped steal a luxury ship on Canto Bight. He'd manned an AT-ST in order to kill stormtroopers and save Finn and Rose.

But it seemed like since they'd started their mission to Coruscant, he had been doing much more varied tasks, many of which went outside of his programming. But he was willing to give it a try. His primary function was to do what Poe wanted and this is what Poe wanted. So BB-8 was happy to do it. It all just seemed very strange to him.

He should have known that thing weren't going to be like usual when he received his first task in helping Chewbacca care for Boba Fett after he lost an arm. It was true he was capable of first aid, but dealing with a bounty hunter who had his arm literally ripped from the socket? That he had never seen before.

Then he had been tasked with playing chaperone to Rey. It might have been new for him, but he was very happy to do that. He didn't like that Rey was becoming romantic with Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren had tried to kidnap him several times. It didn't make sense that Rey would want to kiss him. But she was kissing him. BB-8 had seen them kissing the first night they had been on the _Ghost_. He'd unfortunately seen it several times since then. BB-8 was good at hiding so no one knew he was there. BB-8 had wanted to stop them from kissing, but Rey had already gotten mad at him about that. BB-8 didn't like when Rey was mad at him.

There was a lot more kissing on this mission than on any other BB-8 had ever been on. He was used to Finn and Rose kissing. They had been doing it a lot in the past few months. It didn't bother him, because they were very shy about doing it in front of people. Mostly, he just left them alone. Finn kissing Rose meant that Rose was around and BB-8 really liked Rose.

And then there was Poe and Kaila. BB-8 wasn't sure about that sometimes. Yes, she made Poe happy and BB-8 liked anything that made Poe happy. She also rubbed his sphere the way he liked. But when Kaila was around, BB-8 wasn't able to recharge in Poe's quarters. It wasn't like BB-8 didn't understand _why_. It was hardly the first time he'd been kicked out of Poe's quarters because of someone he was seeing. But BB-8 had the suspicion it wasn't going to abruptly end this time. Poe had given Kaila his ring and BB-8 knew he wouldn't do that unless Poe was serious. It didn't help that with Kaila came Chopper. It wasn't that BB-8 didn't like Chopper. It was that Chopper didn't really like BB-8. He could be really mean and it hurt BB-8's feelings. If they were all going to have to live together, then Poe and Kaila were going to have to sit Chopper down and make sure he was nice to BB-8. That was the only way they could be a family.

Of all of the things BB-8 hadn't expected to be doing on this mission, it was being a babysitter. Astromechs weren't usually trusted with that sort of thing. It was usually left to protocol or nanny droids. But BB-8 understood why it had become his job.

The little humans weren't afraid of him. Maybe it was because he was around their size. Whenever one of the crew came into their quarters, they hid in the shadows or behind their puff-cots. BB-8 had no idea what they had been through. It must have been something terrible. He had heard the crew talking about how they had been kidnapped by Snoke. He must have done really bad things to them to make them afraid of all big humans.

While he wasn't programmed as a nanny droid, BB-8 did have programming for a therapy droid in his circuits. He tried to keep them calm. He warbled songs to them in binary, which they seemed to like. One of the crew members came in to feed them. At first they'd shied away from this food. Now, whoever brought them the food sat with them, trying to encourage them to eat. If anything, it made it more difficult.

Today, it was Kaila who was trying to feed them. She held out a tray of Meiloorun Fruit to them. "Come on, it's really good."

BB-8 whistled and bumped into Kaila _You have to try harder than that!_

"Well, I can't force them," Kaila whispered to him.

"They can probably sense your mature powers," a deep voice said behind BB-8. His dome whirled around and he beeped in protest, rolling around to hide behind Kaila. He still didn't like being in the same room as Kylo Ren.

"My mature powers?" Kaila repeated.

Kylo Ren nodded. "Like the Hand."

"You said she was like _sixty_. I'm not that old!"

BB-8 chuckled, earning him a glare from Kaila.

"You're an adult woman with force powers. They can sense it. It reminds them of the Hand."

"Fine." Kaila got to her feet and handed the tray to Kylo Ren. "Then you do it. I'm going back to the meeting."

BB-8 looked up at Kylo Ren. He looked down briefly at BB-8 before kneeling on the ground. He held out a piece of melon to the hiding small humans. "You'll like it." He ate the piece he held. "It's good."

One of the small humans-- a very tiny one with horns-- hesitantly approached Kylo Ren. He reached out a shaking hand and took a piece of melon. He then scampered to hide behind BB-8.

_He doesn't like you_ , BB-8 chirped at Kylo Ren.

"No reason he should," Kylo Ren replied.

Slowly, more and more of the small humans came out of their hiding spots to grab melon from Kylo Ren. They all went and hid again as soon as they had their food.

"No one is going to hurt you anymore," Kylo Ren assured them in a much quieter voice than BB-8 thought he was capable of. "Rey will take care of you. Rey is the pretty girl who saved you. She's nice. And so is Kaila. I know she's big, but she's really kind. We're going to take you all to a place where there is sun and water and trees... Nothing like Coruscant. You'll be happy there."

BB-8 whirled his dome around, surprised by Kylo Ren's gentleness and kind words to the small humans. How was this Kylo Ren?

Well, the others had been calling him Ben. BB-8 wasn't sure he was comfortable with that yet.

"BB-8," Kylo Ren said to the droid. "I can sit with them. It's okay."

BB-8 was a bit reluctant to leave the small humans, but he also didn't want to disagree with Kylo Ren. So he rolled himself out of the quarters. He looked back briefly to see Kylo Ren sit cross-legged on the floor. "Would you like to hear a story?"

BB-8 whizzed his dome around, entirely unsure what he was seeing. He rolled himself into the lounge, where Chopper was displaying a series of schematics of a Star Destroyer. Finn was pointing to spots on it, while Poe, Kaila, Rose, Rey and the flashy newcomer Lando sat around watching.

"Are you kids sure about this?" Lando asked. "This is going to be a really risky thing to take to Leia."

"Risky, but high reward," Rose pointed out.

Lando nodded. "Okay, good point. I usually go with those odds myself."

Kaila was perched on Poe's lap. "I don't know... It _is_ really risky. We have no idea if these stormtroopers even want to join the Rebellion. Meanwhile, Wraith Squadron is still stuck in the Unknown Region."

Poe rubbed her hip gently. "Have you had any more visions of Ezra, Babe?"

Kaila shook her head. "No, but that just worries me. But that's an entire squadron of Resistance fighters we could really use. Seasoned veterans. It might be worth it to just let the _Silencer_ shoot it out with the First Order independently. You know the Order isn't just going to let them leave. And the _Silencer_ said they'll attack anyone who threatens them. Rather than risking our own troops, just let them fight it out amongst themselves."

Chopper whistled in agreement with Kaila, expressing his want to find General Syndulla.

"It's going to come down to what the General thinks is the best course of action," Poe pointed out. "They're both important: Finding Wraith Squadron has been on Leia's mind for months. But the firepower of a Star Destroyer and a stormtrooper unit behind us... There's also the Order codes that we can act on. There's a lot of fronts we can attack, but only so many troops in our reserves. Leia's going to triage."

BB-8 looked up at Poe _What do you want to go after?_

Poe looked down at him. "All of them are... Good." He wrapped an arm around Kaila. BB-8 could see the guilty look on his face.

"You don't think we should go after Wraith Squadron, do you?" Kaila looked back at him.

Poe sighed. "It's your mom, Kai. I'm not going to say we shouldn't."

"It's not _just_ my mom," Kaila pointed out. "Ezra is there."

Rey nodded in agreement. "Captain Syndulla is right. Master Bridger is the only Jedi Master left in the galaxy. With Luke gone, we really need his help. We've got six abused younglings who need help. I can't handle that all on my own."

Kaila leaned back against Poe. "I'm dealing with Ben, which is like dealing with six abused younglings."

"We'll take everything to Leia," Lando said firmly. "Like Poe said, she'll know how to triage. No matter what we do, we'll need more than just the _Ghost_. We can't do anything without her say so."

"We'll be at the base tomorrow night," Kaila said, pulling herself out of Poe's embrace. "I'm going to go to the cockpit to see how we're doing..."

She walked out without another word. Finn crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at Poe. BB-8 rolled in between them.

"So you want to go with her plan now?" Finn cocked his head in question.

"I didn't say that!" Poe protested. "But she's my girlfriend and it's her family she wants to go after."

"Then you don't understand what the FN Corps were to Finn." Rose stood up tall beside Finn.

"I'm not saying--" Poe shook his head. "I'm going to leave this up to General Organa. We can't do anything without her. I know you have a point." He pointed to Finn. He then pointed towards the cockpit. "And I know she has a point. And I know that I'd really like to go in and blow up some First Order bases using the codes we got."

_Leave him alone!_ BB-8 beeped at everyone. He was getting tired of Poe being put in the middle. Yes, he was in command, but that didn't mean they had to keep harassing him about things that he couldn't help them with.

"We're not trying to bother him, BB-8," Rey sighed. "Sorry, Poe. We all just have a million things we have to do."

"It's good," Poe sighed. "The Rebellion needs to make a lot of strikes. The First Order is vulnerable and we need to take advantage of that. But we're vulnerable too. Right now... I think we all just need to get off of this ship. No one is going to be thinking clearly until then."

BB-8 whistled in agreement and bumped himself against Poe's leg. The sooner they got back to base, the better.


	31. Cataalda Base: Mother

Ben stared at himself in the mirror in the fresher. His hair was pulled back, only a few curled strands framing his face. His scruff of beard had grown fairly thick, but he'd trimmed it to be neat. He had gotten attached to it. He felt it made him look older. Less like Kylo Ren.

He was glad he'd been able to get other clothes on Tatooine, especially pants to replace the Blood Stripes. He wasn't sure he wanted to go in dressed like a Corellian smuggler. It seemed wrong. Like he was mocking. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Ben?" There was a rap on the door. "Ben, open up."

Ben reached back and released the lock on the door, but he did not look away from the mirror. He could see Kaila standing in the doorway. "Ben, we've been landed for an hour. Everyone is off the ship already."

"Maybe I should just stay here," Ben replied. "The ship has everything I need."

"We're staying here for a while." Kaila reached in and placed a hand on his shoulder. "At least a few days. You can't just stay in here. Besides, it's not good to be on a ship for longer than a month. You'll get stir-crazy."

"It's only been three weeks since we were on Tatooine," Ben pointed out.

"We were running from a revenge-mad bounty hunter. It doesn't count." Gently, she compelled him to turn around. "You knew this was going to happen eventually. Better to just get it over with quickly. You'll feel better."

"What if..."

"There's no point in wondering what if," Kaila snapped, cutting him off. "You'll find out in a few minutes. Just get it over with. You don't need to be afraid."

Ben closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He reached to the side of the sonic sink and picked up his new lightsaber. Kaila's hand moved down and grabbed his wrist. "Where did that come from?"

"I built it," Ben replied, his voice a little meek. "I couldn't stay unarmed."

"Turn it on," Kaila said warily.

Ben glowered. "You're going to have to release my wrist so I don't send the blade through you."

Kaila released him. Ben held up the lightsaber and turned it on, revealing the violet blade.

"When... How did you..." Kaila shook her head in amazement. "Ben, you purified your kyber. This is amazing."

Ben turned off the lightsaber. "It just happened," he lied. He didn't want to tell Kaila about how it happened. It was too intimate. It was something between him and Rey. "I've been meditating on it and... It just happened."

"Ben, I'm so proud of you." Kaila wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Now come on... She's waiting for you."

The walk from the Ghost to the her private quarters seemed to take forever. Ben could feel the eyes of the rebels on him as he went. How much did they know about him? Were they wondering who he was? Or did they just loathe him for the audacity to walk into the base?

He felt his breath catch when he set eyes on her. She looked so much older. Her hair was now streaked grey, twisted up in an Alderaanian mourning braid. He knew that was his fault. Everything he had done had brought her to this.

Ben didn't know what to say to her. He just stood in front of her, unable to move. His mother looked at him with sad, brown eyes. "You changed your hair," her voice was so very tired.

Ben nodded, rubbing his hand over his scruffy chin and then his ponytail. "I thought it looked good."

Kaila touched Ben's arm comfortingly. "I'm going to go find out where my sleeping assignment is."

Leia nodded. "Commander Dameron is to the left, five doors down."

Kaila nodded, giving Ben's arm one last squeeze. He heard her footsteps, but did not look away from his mother.

Leia rose from her seat finally and came to stand in front of Ben. He absolutely towered over her. Yet somehow her presence was so large... She was every bit the regal, beautiful princess, senator and warrior he remembered from his youth. The feelings were threatening to overwhelm him. He didn't know if he could handle it. It felt like he might pass out.

Ben fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around his mother's midsection. He buried his face in her belly, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. He let out a small, choked sob. "I'm sorry.... I'm sorry..."

He felt a tender hand on his hair, stroking over it. Ben stiffened slightly, not wanting the comfort from his mother. He didn't deserve it. All of the things he'd done to her. What he'd done to his father... What he'd done to Luke...

His mother's hands were still gentle as she pulled him away from her, tilting his chin up to look at her. She shook her head. "I'm still _furious_ at you," she whispered, although her voice did not sound angry. "Ben... How could you..."

"I know." Ben tried to choke back his tears. "I don't expect you to forgive me..."

"What you've done--" his mother's voice shook slightly. "--leaving the First Order. Rescuing Kaila and those younglings. Giving us codes to strike against the First Order... After what happened to your father, I'd lost hope. But I have it back now. You have a long way to go, Ben... But I believe you can get there."

Ben hesitantly rose to his feet. He smiled sadly down at his mother. "I don't want to let you down anymore."

Leia cupped his face. "Then don't."

Ben closed his eyes at her touch. It was his mother. After so long. "I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you."

* * *

 

She had things to do. She needed to remember that. There were so many emotions going through Leia. But she was heading a Rebellion. She needed to keep a level head.

It was in these moments that she missed her mentor, Mon Mothma. She had always been able to deal with such things with aplomb. Then, she supposed Mon had never been confronted with her patricidal son attempting redemption.

As much as she would've liked to have dedicated herself fully to that, she knew she couldn't. There were so many things that had come up. There were six abused younglings who needed to be taken care of, something that would take incredible tact. There was also the issue of the codes Ben had brought to them. The longer they sat on them, the more likely the First Order would find and deactivate them.

Leia sipped her caf as she watched the holo Poe had brought to her. She had not been expecting something like this when she'd sent them to Coruscant. Mostly, she had just wanted to retrieve Lando. She needed more high ranking officers after the heavy losses on the _Raddus_. She turned off the recording. "So Lieutenant Finn believes that we should be negotiating with these stormtroopers?"

"Pretty insistent on it," Poe replied. "We don't know how many troopers are on the ship, but it must be enough to at least operate it. They're highly trained soldiers, something we're really low on. And a Star Destroyer..."

"Any ship helps." Leia nodded. "And Wraith Squadron?"

"Kaila--" Poe paused. "I mean Captain Syndulla had a Force Vision while we were on the Ghost. She didn't tell me all of the details, but she did tell me that she felt Master Bridger."

"Ezra?" Leia sat up a bit straighter. She thought about the boy she had met so very long ago on Lothal. The man who drove her brother up the wall, but in the end had meant so much to him. "What about him?"

"She sensed that he was in pain. Tremendous pain. Someone was torturing him." Poe shook his head. "I don't know anything other than that. But she wants to mount a rescue operation. We've been considering trying to retrieve Wraith Squadron. Now might be the time to do that."

Leia set down her mug, staring into the dark brown liquid. "I've been thinking about this for months. Ten ships went out with Wraith Squadron. Just how many ships would I have to send out to save them? Where am I supposed to send them? Captain Syndulla also has so little information. Luke had a vision of Han and I being tortured once. It was a trap for him. It led to him losing his hand and nearly being killed. For all we know, Captain Syndulla's vision could be the same."

Poe groaned and covered his face with his hands. "She's not going to be happy to hear that."

"Captain Syndulla will have to get used to it," Leia replied. She eyed Poe carefully. "We only have so many resources and we have to weigh the risk versus the reward."

"I understand." Still, Poe sounded utterly pained. "But if I have to explain it to her... General..."

Leia arched an eyebrow. "And you need to learn if you're going to be engaged to a headstrong Jedi that there are going to be some nights you end up sleeping in your X-Wing if you piss her off. Congratulation, by the way. The ring looks good on her."

Poe ducked his head down, looking bashful. "We're not actually..."

"Whatever you have going on, you're going to get in arguments. And this isn't personal." Leia sighed. "I don't want to leave Wraith Squadron out on their own. But they knew the risks. This was their choice. General Syndulla brought the mission to me. Captain Syndulla is trained in combat, but she's not a soldier yet. She's approaching this from a personal perspective rather than a strategic one. If it were anyone else bringing you this plan... If it weren't your girlfriend... What would you say, Commander?"

Poe looked down, letting out a loud sigh. "I'd say we don't have enough intel to be able to gauge the situation. That Wraith Squadron has not given us any reason to believe they've gone off mission. That Master Bridger being in pain could have come from any number of things and even if he is personally in danger, that doesn't mean the rest of the Squadron is and that casualties are to be expected with this type of ops."

"And the _Silencer_? If it wasn't your best friend bringing it to you?"

Again, Poe sighed. "This is one time where Kaila is right. The Silencer has given us every indication that they'll attack us rather than negotiate with us. Betraying the First Order has made them a target, which they will retaliate against. It's more strategically advantageous to us to use them as a buffer between us and the First Order than to pursue an alliance with them right now." He shook his head. "You just don't want anyone to like me, do you, General?"

"It's the price of leadership, Poe. I'm not saying we won't pursue those avenues... But right now, the codes Ben gave us are time sensitive. The best use of our resources is to attack some of the First Order's installations while their leadership is still in a disarray. They vastly outpower us. If there's anything we can do to level the playing field, we have to do it."

Leia could see the conflict clear on Poe's face. It wasn't easy making these sorts of decisions, but she needed him to understand. She had come so close to dying in the attack on the _Raddus_. If something were to happen to her, she wanted to know the Rebellion was in good hands. "If you wish, I can speak to Captain Syndulla and Lieutenant Finn."

Poe shook his head. "No. I'll do it. No matter what, they're going to be mad at me. Might as well get it over with."


	32. Cataalda Base: Missions

"Is that my shirt?"

Kaila glanced over her shoulder at Poe. She gave a quick nod. "I've been on my ship for..."  She paused to do some calculations in her head. "...About two months, except when I was detained by the First Order or on a planet that had recently been through a battle and barely had running water. I haven't had the opportunity to clean anything other than running them through the sonic." She tossed a pair of pants into a bin. "I'm not losing this opportunity to get cleaned up."

Poe slipped his arms around her waist, hugging her from behind. "You could have borrowed a pair of pants too."

"You really think so?" Kaila laughed, looking down at her own pants. "They'd be shorts on me."

"I'm not that short!" Poe protested.

"You're pretty short." Kaila turned her head and kissed Poe on the cheek, sighing softly. "Leia said no, didn't she?"

"She said no..." Poe hesitated. "And I said no. Kai, Babe... I know you're worried about Ezra, but we just don't have enough troops or enough information to mount a rescue. Are you going to do something stupid like go after them yourself?"

Kaila pulled away, picking up her laundry and walking towards the door. "I know I keep a pretty distant attitude when it comes to the military... But I am still General Hera Syndulla's daughter. I know better than that. If you guys say no, you've got good reason for it. But you're going to have to have a talk with Snap."

"Snap?" Poe repeated. "Why would I need to talk to Snap?"

"I ran into him on my way to your quarters. I told him what was going on." Kaila opened up the door, walking into the corridor. "If anyone was going to care it was going to be him. He seemed pretty concerned."

"Why would you tell him that?" Poe trailed after her. "I don't get it."

"His mom and stepfather are in Wraith Squadron, Poe! He deserved to know!" She stopped and sighed, looking around. "Okay, I've never been on this base for longer than an hour. Can you tell me where the laundry unit is?"

Poe strode ahead and took the basket from her. "You shouldn't have worried Snap without reason."

"There's a lot of reason!" Kaila retorted. "You know if the only Jedi on that mission is in trouble, everyone else probably is too. And it's his family. Not to mention Norra Wexley and Wedge Antilles are two of the most decorated officers in the Rebellion and New Republic. You know I don't just want to go after Wraith Squadron because of my family. Wexley, Antilles, Ackbar, Janson... Do you want me to go on with the veteran pilots who went on the mission? With the number of losses the Rebellion has suffered we _need_ them."

"Press that door release," Poe said, gesturing to a door. "I know where you're coming from. And I know where Finn was coming from. He was just as mad at me as you are. But there just isn't enough information. There's a lot of moves to make."

Kaila opened the door and walk to the washing unit. Poe dutifully stood to the side as she put her clothes into the unit. She then stripped off her pants and threw them into the unit. She closed it up and set the cleaning cycle. Kaila hopped up onto another unit to watch as the cycle began.

"I _get_ it," Kaila insisted. "I don't need you to coddle me."

"You just seem angry."

"I _am_ angry." Kaila grabbed Poe by the front of the shirt, pulling him between her legs. "But at the situation. Not at you. Not even at the General."

Poe kissed her forehead. "I've never dated someone I'm serving with."

Kaila pulled back. "You know I highly doubt that, right?"

" _That_ is different than dating. A serious relationship..." Poe stroked a hand over her lekku. "...I've got to get used to this."

"I'm not really used to... Serving." Kaila played with Poe's collar. "I've been on my own for a long time. It might take me some time to get used to taking orders."

"You're a Jedi." Poe leaned in. "I thought they were all about orders."

"Ezra wasn't really an 'order-y' Master." Kaila nuzzled her nose against Poe's. "So you're going to have to give me some time to get used to being ordered around... Commander."

Poe groaned. "I think I like that a little too much."

Kaila laughed softly and gave him a long, smooth kiss.

"Looks like I'm interrupting something," a gruff voice said from the door.

Kaila pulled away from Poe and gave a shriek. "Gramps!"

Poe jumped back quickly, straightening himself out. He saluted. "Admiral."

Rex brought up a wrinkled hand, waving Poe off. "At ease, Commander."

Kaila threw her arms around Rex, hugging him tightly. Rex hugged her back. "Look at you, Munchkin.  Just as beautiful as ever." He looked down at her bare legs. "Are you sure I'm not interrupting something?"

"Just my laundry." Kaila looked over Rex carefully. He looked good, but there was a frailty to him. Of course, he had long surpassed his life expectancy, due to the intervention of the New Republic and Kaminoans. "How are you doing?"

"Not too bad, not too bad... Just got back from a tune-up on Kamino. Give my chronometer a little turn back." He raised his bearded chin high. "I look good, don't I?"

"Of course you do, Gramps." Kaila kissed him on the cheek. "I've missed you."

"It has been a while." Rex glanced over at Poe. "Any news you want to tell me, Munchkin?"

Kaila pulled back, standing next to Poe. "Well, Poe and I... We're... Kind of... Together now."

"Really?" Rex nodded. "You don't say. Never would've guessed." He narrowed his gaze on Poe. "You know I've fought in every war for the last sixty years, boy."

"Yes, Sir," Poe's voice sounded slightly strained.

"And I couldn't go with Wraith Squadron, so I promised Hera and Ezra I'd look after Kai. She's family."

"Gramps..." Kaila said, a note of warning in her voice. "Being a thirty-four year old _Jedi Knight_ , I don't really need to have someone protecting me from boys. I can take care of myself. Besides, it's _Poe_."

"I know it's Poe..." Rex said warily. "And you're kissing him in the laundry unit without any pants on."

There was a long, awkward silence. Rex then laughed and punched Poe in the shoulder. "Just funnin' with you, boy. You've been crazy about our Munchkin since you were a kid. And I know how important those necklaces you've both switched are. Make sure to tell your Daddy. Kes'd like to know you're settling down."

Despite the clone's advanced age, Poe was grimacing and rubbing the spot Rex had hit. "Of course, Admiral."

"What's going on, Gramps?" Kaila questioned, looking at her adoptive grandfather suspiciously. She placed her hands on her hips. "You're acting weird."

"I just walked in on you kissing Dameron while not wearing pants," Rex pointed out. "That's going to make you act weird."

" _Gramps,"_ Kaila stressed.

Rex sighed. "Okay, something might've come up when I was getting my annual tune-up. I've taken it to General Organa. But you kids just got back from a two and a half week long mission. You're supposed to have at least three DONA."

Kaila looked to Poe. He nodded. They walked passed Rex to the door.

Rex sighed. "Munchkin, if you're going to ignore regulation and talk to the General... Pants?" 

* * *

 

Finn stared at the frozen message of Zeroes. He scowled and pushed the holographic projector off of his desk.

Rose frowned deeply, placing her hands on Finn's shoulders. "I'm sorry. I know you wanted to go after the _Silencer_."

"Not a strategic use of resources," Finn grumbled. "That's what Poe said. Not a strategic use of resources. If even _a quarter_ of the FN Corps is on that ship, that's more soldiers than we have in the entire Rebellion right now."

"You've got to admit, that could be pretty dangerous. Bringing in enough people to outnumber us." It was Poe replying.

Finn and Rose both turned to see Poe standing in the doorway with Kaila. Immediately, Finn got up. "What's going on?"

Poe shook his head. "Don't know. But it's something. We need to find out. We've got to talk to the General."

Kaila stepped into the room. "Listen, Finn... I'm not really happy my plan was rejected either. But something's going on. If it's got Gramps rattled, then..." She paused. "Gramps is the one who brought it to Leia."

"Who's Gramps?" Finn asked, looking to Poe for explanation.

"Admiral Rex," Poe explained.

Kaila was pacing, her lekku twitching. "If Gramps is the one who brought it to Leia, he must have just found out about it. He was just on Kamino for his Rejuvenation Treatment. If he found it out on Kamino, then they must be doing something."

"The cloners?" Finn blinked. He remembered something he heard while they were on the mission. "Where's Ben?"

"Back on the Ghost, I think," Kaila replied. "He was feeling a bit... Uncertain... About staying here."

Finn snorted. He couldn't say he blamed Kylo Ren for being wary of being around the Rebellion. "He said something to me when we were on the mission." He sighed, shaking his head. "It didn't register at the time. We have to go see the General."

Rose jumped up. "Then let's do it!"

Finn looked over at her, frowning. If Rose were to come with, Ben's identity would be revealed. "Actually... I think you have to stay here."

"Why?" Rose demanded.

"It's a long story." Finn braced her arms. "I'll explain later."

Rose frowned deeply at him. "I don't like this."

Finn sighed deeply. "Neither do I."

* * *

 

Leia rubbed her temples as she looked at the gathered crowd of young rebels. They were going against orders and continuing to push themselves. They'd all been ordered to take time off, but they were still here. Had Leia ever been that young?

No, she'd been younger.

She saw so much promise in them. Poe was her natural successor in the Rebellion. She'd been trying to convince Kaila to take a more active role for years. Finn would rise through the ranks quickly. And Rey... She would bring a rise to the Jedi once again.

But there was also Ben. He sat in the corner, scowling. What was his place in this going to be?

She could see the weariness of Rex's face. He'd been old when Leia had met him. The last standing veteran of the Clone Wars. Even with the treatments to give him something resembling  a natural lifespan, he was too old to take active missions. But his experience was invaluable to her.

"What did you tell them, Rex?" Leia asked.

"Nothing except he brought something to you," Kaila replied. She was dressed in Rebel issue clothes. Nothing like her usual garb. It made her look so much like her mother. Hera would've also taken command in this situation. Leia missed her. "But we were able to piece it together. He found something out on Kamino. We all know what the Kaminoans do. And there's only one thing that would scare Gramps enough to come to you about it."

Finn glared at Ben. "Not to mention what your son told me on our mission. You want to tell everyone, Ben?"

Leia turned her attention to Ben. He knew. Of course he knew. That had been what had worried her and Rex. They had no idea who had ordered the clone troopers. Just that the Kaminoans were creating a full-scale army.

Ben stood up. "While I was still with the First Order, I dealt with the Kaminoans. General Hux and I had fundamental disagreements as to our troops. He wanted to continue with the stormtrooper program. With troops like FN-2187..." He gestured to Finn. "And now the rest of the FN Corps, it's clear indoctrination is sloppy. I decided to undermine him and order a clone army."

"A _clone army_?" Leia repeated, not believing what she was hearing from her son's lips. "The First Order is going to have a clone army?"

Ben shook his head. "No. No one in the First Order knows about my dealings. _I_ ordered a clone army. I paid them through back channels. They're built to my specifications."

"What kind of _specifications_?" Rex's words dripped with contempt.

"The Kaminoans have obviously refined their techniques in the last sixty years," Ben replied. "The aging process is much more fine-tuned, as evidenced by the fact they've been able to keep you alive for decades past your lifespan. I was told it would take six months to create fully-grown clones. Afterwards, the aging process would be exponentially decreased. One year for every ten."

"Any special _orders_ put into them?" Rex stood up, squaring off against Ben. The clone trooper's height had decreased with age, but he was still intimidating.

"No," Ben retorted. "I didn't have any need for that. I just wanted soldiers."

Leia continued to rub her temples, thinking. She needed to think fast. This was a development she hadn't been expecting. "Is there any way the First Order could find out about the clone army?"

Ben seemed to think about this for a moment. He shrugged. "I suppose it's possible that General Hux might be able to decode my communications. Which he probably tried to do, seeing as I left. He'd want to figure out where I would go. What strengths I might have."

"I don't like the idea of using clones," Leia replied. "But I like the idea of the First Order using them even less. Time is of the essence here. This has become our top priority."

"So what do we do?" Poe asked.

"It's not a we situation," Leia replied. "Ben, you were dealing with the Kaminoans. I need you to go through with your deal, but in our favor. Work with Lieutenant Finn."

"Me?" Finn pointed at himself. "Why me?"

"Because you've been trained for twenty years to lead troops into battle. These clones will need a leader. You two will take the _Phantom III_. It's small, but fast. Make arrangements to have the troops brought here. Finn, you want to go after the _Silencer_... Kaila, you want to help Wraith Squadron. We need bigger numbers than we do now if we're going to do any of that. I don't like the idea of using clones, but... This is a chance for us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaila calling Rex "Gramps" is a reference to the theory (semi-confirmed by Dave Filoni) that Rex is Nik "Gramps" Sant from Return of the Jedi.
> 
> Also the "Ackbar" mentioned as a member of Wraith Squadron is NOT Admiral GIal Ackbar, but rather Jesmin Ackbar, his niece, who was a member of Wraith Squadron in the Legends continuity. Since I used the name, I thought some of the members should remain the same.


	33. Phantom III: Soldiers

Ben loaded his pack into the _Phantom III_. Kaila's arms were crossed over her chest. Her brow was furrowed deeply. "I have a bad feeling about this."

"My mother asked me to do something. Something to fix a mistake I made. Something that could help the Rebellion." Ben cocked his head in question. "How could that be a bad thing?"

Kaila sighed. "It's not the mission I have a problem with. It's you and Finn going on it alone. You've hardly had a break after the mission to Coruscant. You _killed_ one of your knights on that mission. And now you're going off _without_ me?"

"I'm going _undercover_ ," Ben stressed. He reached into his pack and revealed his black robes. "I've got to be Kylo Ren, going to check on my clone army. Finn is going to be my personal bodyguard, FN-2187. It'll be easier with just the two of us."

"I don't like it," Kaila insisted. "Ben, we're in the middle of training..."

"The trip is only going to be two days," Ben replied. He shoved his robes back into his pack. He didn't want to look at it. He hated the idea of putting it on again, but he had to. His mother needed him. "I'm not going to fall to the Dark Side again just because I go on a mission with Finn."

"This ship can take more than two people." Kaila pulled back, clapping Ben's shoulder. "So it's going to."

"I need to be able to do things without you," Ben pointed out. He knew he still needed a master, but he didn't need a babysitter. Not every single day. "You need to trust me."

"Not me." Kaila smiled brightly. "Someone who understands cloning and will be able to give you insight into the Kaminoans."

Ben groaned. "Rex? You want Finn and I to bring a grumpy old man with us?"

"You're a grumpy young man." Kaila threw her arms around Ben's neck, surprising him. She hugged him tightly. "You know if you do turn to the Dark Side I will literally kill you, Nerra."

"I'm think there would be a line, Numa." Ben patted her awkwardly on the back, thinking about what Rey would do if he were to revert to Kylo Ren.

"About time I was allowed back on a mission," Rex grumbled as he stepped onto the ship. "Been a minute since I've been on this ship."

"Now, you were supposed to look after me, but I was supposed to look after _you_." Kaila pointed at Rex. "You better be careful."

"Of course, Munchkin. I'll show these kids how to run a mission." Rex winked at her.

Finn came in, followed closely by Ben's mother. He gave Finn a brief nod before he walked to his mother. He lowered his head slightly.

"Do you understand what your mission is?" Leia asked.

"Yes." Ben nodded.

"Be careful." Leia took his hand and squeezed it. "And may the Force with you."

That was all she said before turning and leaving the ship along with Kaila. Rex got into the pilot's seat and began the take-off sequence. "Back to Kamino again... Feels like I never left."

Finn glowered at Ben. "A clone army? _Really_?"

Ben sighed. "You would prefer continuing to indoctrinate children taken from their parents? We could debate the ethics of cloning all the way to Kamino. But you know I have done far worse things. Perhaps we should just agree that I am a monster and leave it at that."

He sat himself down in the co-pilot's seat and just looked out of the viewport as the ship began to rise.

They were silent until they got out into space. They got into the blackness of space and Rex flicked switched, setting the hyperspace route. Once they made the jump, the clone's wrinkled face turned to Ben. "So are they going to look like me?"

"What?" Ben jumped, surprised by the sudden voice.

Rex gestured to his face. "Are they going to look like me? Do they use the same genetic template?"

Ben shook his head. "No. Jango Fett's DNA has been far too over manipulated, first by replicating it millions of times and then using it in rejuvenation of the surviving clones like yourself. I went for other specimens."

"Specimens?" Finn repeated. "As in plural?"

"There was a flaw in using one template. I thought I diversified selection of templates would be better for an army. Contributing different strengths. Not to mention other... Advantages."

"Just who did you use?" Rex demanded.

"I chose three specimens to start. If the tests were successful, I might have diversified further. I decided to be a bit experimental with my cloning. The first specimen was the most traditional. Peak physical condition, astonishing tactical know-how... The perfect stormtrooper..."

"NO!" Finn snapped. "You didn't."

Ben nodded.

Finn jumped to his feet. " _Phasma?_ You cloned _Phasma?_ "

"She made sense!" Ben cried. "I would have made an army of nothing but her if I didn't have other needs. Phasma's template make a bulk of my army. But there were two others..."

" _Who_?" Finn demanded.

Ben scowled. Neither Finn nor Rex was going to like the revelation. "I wanted to see if Force Potential could be passed through cloning..."

Rex cringed. "You didn't clone yourself, did you?"

"No." Ben could hardly stand to look at himself, let alone a hundred clones of himself. "Unless you're aware enough to avoid it, the Kaminoans will often extract DNA from their visitors without their knowledge. They did so during the Clone Wars to a Jedi who visited them. They've never had the opportunity to... Experiment with it... But they seemed very interested."

"Which Jedi?" Rex asked, his voice darker. The hair on the back of Ben's neck stood up. As a clone trooper, Rex had tremendous respect for the Jedi.

Ben swallowed hard. "Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"You cloned _General Obi-Wan Kenobi_?" Rex seethed.

"I only had two dozen clones of General Kenobi made." Ben knew it wasn't justification. "If they did have Force powers..."

"You didn't want too many of them," Finn finished. "Outnumber you too much. Who was the last one?"

"You are going to really dislike this..." Ben stroked his beard.

"I don't think I've liked a single thing that has come out of your mouth _ever_. Who was it?"

Ben took a deep breath. "I thought cloning wasn't being utilized properly. That the obvious application of infiltration has always been ignored. So I took the DNA from one of our prisoners. He would have made a very good soldier anyway. Again, peak physical condition... Piloting skills... I had planned to kill the prisoner and once one of the clones was ready sending it to the Rebellion. However, the prisoner escaped... With you."

_"YOU CLONED POE?_ "

"Stop with the outrage!" Ben snapped. "Both of you! I was a Commander in the First Order!" He pointed at Rex. "If you were in my position, what I did would have made perfect tactical sense!"

"I would've never _been_ in your position," Rex grumbled. "You betrayed the Republic and your family. But for a traitor... Not a bad plan. I'm assuming you didn't tell your mother your clone templates?"

"Not yet. I thought it would be a surprise." Ben looked back at Finn. "If it makes you feel any better, you can only create a certain number of clones with one sample."

"Ten thousand per sample," Rex chimed in. "At least back in my day. They might've improved their tech now."

"Seeing as both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Phasma are dead, there are a finite number of their clones. I also doubt Dameron will provide more. If the Rebellion decides to use more clones, I'm sure command will pick templates you'll like better."

"Poe's going to want to kill you," Finn replied.

Ben scowled. "Like I haven't gotten used to that."

 

* * *

 

Rex had seen a lot of things in his sixty-plus years in the galaxy. He'd seen empires rise and fall. He'd seen more combat than anyone else he'd ever known. But the kid sitting next to him... That he found interesting.

Ben had gone into the back of the ship. Pouting most likely. He'd always thought Ben was a bit of a sulking brat. He'd hoped he would've grown out of that.

But now that he was sitting alone with Finn, he wanted to get to know the kid. He'd heard the stories, of course.

"FN-2187," Rex said, glancing over at the kid. "You really didn't get a name until Commander Dameron gave you one?"

"How did you get Rex?"

"General Skywalker," Rex replied. "I served under him during the Clone Wars. Good man..." He sighed, looking out into hyperspace. "At least he was when I knew him."

"You were really one of the first stormtroopers?" Finn asked, slightly in awe.

" _Clone_ trooper," Rex stressed. "Very different. Stormtroopers were dumb kids who couldn't hit the broadside of a star destroyer..." He paused. "I didn't mean that."

"No, you did." Finn leaned back in his chair. "But you... Never knew anything but being a clone trooper. That's what you were taught to do."

" _Born_ to do," Rex corrected him. "I served the New Republic. I fought to protect the galaxy from the Separatists."

Finn leaned in. "But what I mean is... You didn't have a choice."

"There's always a choice," Rex replied. He eyed Finn. "You made a choice. You had almost as much condition as I did. Maybe more.  You still went against what you were ordered to do."

Finn stayed quiet for a long time.

Rex clapped him on the shoulder. "That takes a lot. Being able to refuse orders for what's right. You're a good soldier, kid." He pulled back. "And the General told me about the Star Destroyer. With the other stormtroopers on it. You've got to give them time. You can't just bust in there and expect them to join the Rebellion. They need to come to it in their own time. They know we're out there. Let them find out what they want to do."


	34. Cataalda Base: Smile

Rey was wandering around the base. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. In truth, she'd never had any idea what to do with herself at the base. She wasn't a lieutenant or a commander like Finn and Poe. She didn't have a job like Rose.

The closest thing she had was training future Jedi. But none of the children they had brought back from Coruscant were in a fit state to be taught. They were currently being treated by doctors, recovering from the gross neglect and abuse they'd suffered from the Hand. Rey was allowed to visit them, but she wanted to give them time to adjust to their new surroundings.

She was still trying to adjust. She had only been with the Rebellion since after the Battle of Crait and everything had been focused on resettling on their new base and figuring out what the next move would be.

Rey had to admit she had been preoccupied with Ben. Even when she had been shutting him out, he was still on her mind. She wouldn't have had to focus so hard on shutting him out if she hadn't wanted to think about him.

She already missed him. She thought about the time they'd spent together on Coruscant. When they'd joined together. A shiver went through Rey at the thought. She'd been hungering for Ben again, but he hadn't dared to make a move while they were on the Ghost. The ship was far too crowded. Almost as soon as they'd gotten to Cataalda, Ben had gone off on the mission to Kamino.

Rey decided to go outside of the Base into the forest. Cataalda reminded her of Takodana. Maybe it was lack of reference. But there was something so beautiful about the greenery of the planet.

As she walked out into the forest, taking in deep breaths of fresh, crisp air, she felt a wave of the Force pass over her. She looked out into the shade and saw Kaila. She was sitting cross-legged on the ground, eyes closed.

"This has been a while coming, hasn't it?" Kaila opened her eyes. She stood up. "You and I haven't had the opportunity to speak alone. Leia's been trying to matchmake us for months now. Hopes we can have more success rebuilding the Jedi than our masters did." She smiled, stepping forward. "Of course, I doubt we'll have the same interpersonal conflicts that Ezra and Master Skywalker had."

Rey frowned, shaking her head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Ancient history," Kaila waved off the question with a small, knowing smile. "And not really my story to tell. How are you doing Rey?"

"Fine..." Rey looked down. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"It's all right." Kaila affectionately pat a tree. "I'm enjoying being on the ground again. I love my ship. It's been like a home to me. But it's always nice to commune with a planet. Besides..." She reached up and touched the ring hanging from the chain on her neck. "I'm starting to think my home may be something different."

"So you're staying then?" Rey tried to hide the hopeful note in her voice. "You and Ben?"

Kaila shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm not a Jedi Master. I'm just a Knight. Ben is my first Padawan. He's also-- obviously-- a special case. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do."

Rey bit her lower lip. "But here you can be with Poe."

"It's not my relationship you're worried about, Rey." Kaila hesitated, looking Rey over carefully. There was something in the Twi'lek's eyes that made Rey uneasy. Like she could look right through her. "Have you ever been in love before? Had a boyfriend?"

"Oh, Ben's not..." What was he? Rey wasn't really sure how to define him.

Kaila nodded sagely. "Right. I know it's intense. You want to spend every moment together. You're not sure how you lived before it happened and you don't know how you'd go on with it gone. But if I understand correctly, your relationship started across the galaxy from one another. If you're separated again physically... You'll still be together."

"So you do think you're going to have to go?" Rey felt her heart sinking.

"I've been running for a long time." Kaila walked back towards the base and Rey followed alongside her. "I thought Ben needed to run along with me. To find his place in the galaxy. But we keep on falling into this business with the Rebellion. Maybe this is where we were running to. But that doesn't mean we'll be here forever. That doesn't mean there won't be a million missions we have to go on." She looked over at Rey. "I've accepted a position from General Organa. Not just as a smuggler. As a full member of the Rebellion. I know what she wants of us eventually. To reform the Jedi. But those kids... That's not the way to do it. Not yet. We need to have a solid foundation first and as long as we're at war with the First Order, we won't have that. We need to find my master. We need to defeat the First Order. Then we can rebuild the Jedi as something Master Skywalker would be proud of."

Rey looked over Kaila. "So... You knew Master Skywalker before... Everything?"

Kaila smiled, her expression wistful. She nodded. "I was five when I met Master Skywalker. He seemed so... Tall. Wearing these dark robes. But he had a kind smile."

"I never saw him smile." Rey thought back on her time with the old hermit she'd only known for so brief a time.

"I wasn't close enough to him to feel when he moved on," Kaila commented. "When he did... Was Master Skywalker happy?"

"He was." Rey took a deep breath. "And when you knew him... He was happy?"

"There were things that brought him joy."

 

* * *

 

He hadn't called for him. No, Ezra would never do that. But the pain that resonated through the Cosmic Force called him, brought him back to himself. It felt so strange, to be Luke Skywalker again. He knew he had not been a part of the Force for long, but in some ways... It felt like he'd always been just a part of the Force. Time had no meaning where he was now.

But Ezra still meant something to him.

Thrawn had him in an controlless escape pod, tethered to a Star Destroyer with tractor beam. It was the only way the First Order could guarantee he wouldn't be able to escape.

Ezra was curled up on the floor of the pod. His hair was matted with blood. The only time the Order let him leave the pod was when they were torturing him.

They wanted his screams. Wanted it to echo through the Force. They were luring Kaila. They thought it would bring them to Ben.

"Ezra..." Luke's ethereal body felt foreign to him. Words felt strange. Was the physical world always so bright, even in the blackness of space? "Ezra, I'm here."

Ezra raised his head. It had been years since Luke had seen him, but he didn't look much different. Time had been much kinder to him than it had Luke. Only, Luke did not bear the burden of his age any longer. He could appear as he wanted, as Ezra wanted him. He looked as he did when they'd first met, on that plane between worlds when their hands-- their souls-- first touched. He was clean-shaven, blond, still hopeful for the future.

"Luke...?" Ezra's voice was rough. He spat blood out onto the floor before looked up. His expression softened, the years seeming to melt away as he looked at Luke. "Why are you here?"

Luke wasn't yet used to touching things in his new spiritual form. But Ezra needed him. He needed to feel him. "You needed me," Luke replied. He touched a ghostly hand to Ezra's cheek, feeling a jolt of warmth through him.

This he missed. This was something that-- now that he felt it-- had been absent during his time with the Force. Not just the touch of another person, but of Ezra. When they'd parted, Luke had denied how much he missed Ezra. As a part of the Force, he felt nothing except peace. But as Luke...

"I missed you," Luke let his fingers-- smooth and young-- drift over Ezra's cheek. "You're hurt."

Ezra struggled to sit up. "I don't know what they want." He leaned into Luke's touch. "They just keep torturing me. But they don't seem to want me to tell them anything... They said they want Kaila and Ben... But Kylo Ren..."

"He's turned. He's with Kaila," Luke explained. His fingers traced over the edges of Ezra's beard.

"What?" Ezra blinked. One of his eyes was bloodshot. "But how?"

"He's stronger than I thought. He's fighting the Dark Side. Kaila is helping him. But he left the First Order in chaos. Thrawn is taking advantage of that. And he wants to lure them both here, using your pain. Vader did the same thing to Leia and Han to bring me to Cloud City. Kaila can feel your pain." Luke let his hand mold to Ezra's cheek. "They can't come here. It's too dangerous."

"I can't let it get to me," Ezra leaned into Luke's hand. "I need to be strong. But... It hurts so much..."

"I'll help you." Luke leaned in and pressed his forehead to Ezra's. "I'll stay with you. Use me to protect yourself."

Ezra reached a trembling hand to Luke. "Why would you help me? I abandoned you. I wanted to find you... To tell you I was sorry..."

"I know," Luke assured him. "I should have told you about Vader. I never blamed you for leaving. I just wish we hadn't lost that time."

Everything between Luke and Ezra had been unspoken. They clashed over their teaching methods. Their temperaments frequently got the best of them. But in the end... Luke had been so drawn to the other Jedi. He was the only one who understood him. He doubted he would have made it through the years without him. Maybe if Ezra had still been at the temple, Luke wouldn't have made such a horrible mistake with Ben.

Everything in Luke's life made sense now that he was no longer in it. As a rash young man, he'd denied the importance of Ezra to him. But as a spirit, sitting with the injured man, Luke understood the truth. He would not be able to let go of the life of Luke Skywalker and become truly one with the Force until it was Ezra's time to pass on. The only place Luke would find peace would be with his other half, the one he'd denied for so long.

But Luke knew it wasn't Ezra's time yet. He was still needed. He was one of the last vestiges of the old Jedi. But he was one who could help usher in the new.

Luke could wait. Time meant nothing to a dead man. For now, all that mattered to him was Ezra. He had to keep him safe, keep him strong.

"They're going to come for me again soon." Ezra shut his eyes tightly. "I can stand it if they hurt me. But if they go after Hera or Sabine or Zeb..."

"You will stay strong," Luke insisted. "I'll keep you strong."

Ezra looked up at Luke. His face was still battered from the torture, but there was a small, sad smile on his face. "Luke, I never told you..."

"I know, Ezra." Luke smiled sadly back at him. "I always knew."


	35. Kamino: Adversaries

Thrawn cocked his head slightly to watch the holo at a different angle. It was exquisite. He heard the door to his quarters whoosh open and the heavy footsteps of the stormtroopers. "Sir, we have the prisoner."

"Release her from her binders and then leave us." Thrawn paused the hologram on the image of Kanan Jarrus. As he heard the stormtroopers leave, he swiveled his chair and looked over Hera Syndulla.

He hadn't set eyes on her in over thirty years. Time had been kind to her. Some wrinkles, a bit of extra weight. But the fire which he'd first seen in her eyes in her home on Ryloth was not only still there, but burned even brighter.

"Where's Ezra?" Syndulla demanded.

"Sit." Thrawn gestured a blue hand to the empty chair across from him. "I assure you Master Bridger is... Well, I cannot say unharmed, but he is alive. General Hux is inelegant in his methods. But then, so little of the ways of the Jedi is understood to those outside of the faith."

Syndulla hadn't moved from her spot. "What do you want with us?"

"A great number of things." Thrawn hovered his hand over the image of Jarrus. "Your daughter is an artist. You must be so proud."

The fire in Syndulla's eyes blazed. "My daughter--"

"When she was on Coruscant, she used the name of Hope Dume, a rather notorious holomaker. Seeing as Caleb Dume is her father, it seemed unlikely to be a procured identity." Thrawn had meticulously researched the former crew of the  _ Ghost _ . He wasn't sure there was anyone else in the galaxy who knew-- or cared-- that Caleb Dume had become Kanan Jarrus. 

Thrawn turned his attention back onto Hera, taking steps towards her. "Since Exar Ren brought the report on the activities on Coruscant, I have been studying her work. Extraordinary. Most would mistake the holographic manipulation as her art... But no, that is simply the canvas. Your daughter's medium is the truth. Nothing in this galaxy was ever more in the eye of the beholder than the truth."

Syndulla bared her teeth. "If you hurt my daughter..."

Thrawn held up a hand. "I have no machinations against your Kaila."

Syndulla flinched at the sound of the name. Was it just the sound of it coming from his lips, or the fact he used the Twi'leki pronunciation? With an i sound instead of an a? "She was named after Kanan, wasn't she?" Thrawn nodded. "Yes, you loved him deeply. Yet you devoted yourself wholeheartedly to the Rebellion. And when she was born you neglected her in favor of your duties. So few are so committed to their cause."

"Why have you brought me here?" Syndulla demanded. 

Thrawn gestured to the table once again, trying to draw attention to the food he'd had delivered before her arrival. "I thought you might be hungry. It has been so long since we've seen each other, General. I thought a meal between friends would be pleasant."

Syndulla shook her head slowly. "We are not friends, Thrawn."

Thrawn took his seat once again, putting aside the holoviewer. "In our positions, the closest we have to friends are our adversaries. Those on the opposite side who have earned our respect."

Syndulla sat down at the opposite end of the table. "I have no respect for you."

"Of course you do." Thrawn lifted his glass to his lips. "Why else would you take this mission yourself? You could have risen through the ranks of the New Republic. But you chose to stay a general. Remain on the front lines. All so you could defeat me. Because you thought no one else could."

Hera glanced down at the food. Thrawn knew she was starving. She had to be. The prison rations she was given were pitiful and the rations she had on her ship were no doubt no better. "And you respect me."

"Of course I do." Thrawn took a sip of his drink. "Your unerring devotion to defeating me, putting aside power, family, your own safety. The team you assembled is impressive. It was bad luck on your part that you were caught. I've spent years trying to decipher how this battle would finally apex. I should have known the only true way for it to end was an alliance."

"You seem very comfortable with the First Order."

Thrawn shook his head. "Not my alliance with Hux. My alliance with you. Did you ever figure out why I returned to Chiss space? Why I re-enforced our borders? You are one of the only humans to approach our system. What did you think?"

"You were afraid of Snoke," Hera replied.

"Not afraid." Thrawn leaned in. "Disgusted. He was an agent of chaos. He would have burned this galaxy to ash had he not been murdered. At least Emperor Palpatine had a desire for power. Snoke just wanted mayhem. It would have destroyed us all. But he has left in his place petulant children playing war. General Hux may call himself Supreme Leader, but he cannot hope to maintain control. That is what it is about, General. Control. Order. I have seen this galaxy falling into entropy for six decades. I refuse to allow it any longer. I could remain with the Chiss Ascendancy and live out the rest of my days in peace. But the rest of the galaxy would burn. Neither the First Order nor the Resistance is capable of leading."

Thrawn rose from his seat. He walked to his desk, picking up the hand-carved wooden artwork. He walked back to Hera and held out the Kalikori to her. "I found this on your ship. I thought about keeping it. It has such memories connected to it. Your additions are beautiful, so... Passionate. But I offer to you as a gift of good faith. Give it to your daughter... Or your son."

Syndulla's eyes widened. "Jacen."

"You worry for him much more than your daughter. Is it because he lacks a connection to the Force or you just prefer him? Which one of them will you give your Kalikori to? Both of them have families now. I have so much on Jacen. Kaila is much more of an enigma, but according to the report she's married."

Syndulla took the Kalikori seemingly without thinking.

"How many years has it been since you've seen her? You must miss her so. Would you like to see her?" Thrawn picked up the holoprojector and put in a new disc. It was the security footage from the Sky Skimmer Hotel. The image was of young Captain Syndulla on the arm of her date. "Perhaps it was a cover story. I have no idea."

"Poe," Syndulla whispered in amazement as she watched the image. 

Thrawn nodded, noting the look in Hera's eyes. So not just a cover. Of course Thrawn knew the identity of the man. Hux had not shut up about it. 

"I can give you the file on Jacen. Oh, he's thriving." Thrawn held up a holodisc. "I can show you everything. I can let you be with them. You can be safe. Be a part of a legacy of peace and prosperity this galaxy hasn't seen in two generations. The war must end. I can do that... But I need your help."

Syndulla held the kalikori reverently. She then tossed it onto the table. "I'd like to go back to my cell now."

"Of course. Do consider it, General." He pressed a button to summon the stormtroopers again. He picked up the kalikori, cradling it in his hands. "Is your pride really worth the safety of the galaxy?"

 

* * *

 

The tall and willowy Sada Vu glided through the corridor to meet them as they walked through the door. "Master Ren."

Ben was surprised by how uncomfortable he was wearing his robes. It hadn't been so long ago they had been like a second skin to him. As much as he loathed the idea of his mask now, he would've liked to have it back. Maybe it could have hid his nervousness about affecting Kylo Ren's mannerisms. He looked to both sides. Finn and Rex were garbed in stolen stormtrooper armour, serving as his personal guard. "I'm glad you could see me on such short notice. I've come to examine the progress of the army."

"It has been our pleasure to fulfill your order." Sada Vu replied gestured a thin hand down the corridor. "None of the clones have emerged from their maturation pods yet. In order to accelerate the growth and arrest it upon completion, they must remain in complete stasis for a full five months. After that, they are giving another month of flash learning in order to program them. We are scheduled to begin programming in the next few days."

There was a grunt beside Ben. Finn's body language had changed, visible even inside of his armor. Ben glowered at him. He needed to keep his calm.

"Then I have arrived just in time." Ben drew several discs from his robes and held them out. "These are updated protocols I would like you to use in place of the ones I already provided."

His mother insisted that if they were to use a clone army, the clones would have a choice in the matter. She would not condone slavery, even if it were an artificially created race. Rather than indoctrinate the troops with propaganda, they were to be taught the history of the galaxy. Then they could choose whether or not they wish to serve.

"Of course, Master Ren." Sada Vu accepted the discs. "The samples have yielded twenty thousand Phasma troops, one dozen Dameron troops and two dozen of the Master Jedi."

Ben nodded. "In a month's time, I will send transport here to retrieve the troops." As they walked, he looked out into the cloning facility. Thousands of pods held copies of Captain Phasma-- utterly naked-- curled up in foetal position. "They look to be strong. Identical to the original."

"We pride ourselves on our technique," Sada Vu replied.

Ben felt something deep in his gut. There was something wrong. A wave of ephemeral dread washed over him and then was gone.  "Have there been any problems I should be aware of?"

* * *

 

His eyes snapped open and he thrashed around in the viscous liquid drowning him. Where was he? For a moment, he couldn't even remember who he was. In a flash, it all came back to him. What he had been doing. Where he had been. But how did he get into this particular place? Had he been attacked? He had the flash of an attack. Someone in a black mask. A red beam.

He needed to get out. He'd die if he didn't. He pounded his fist against the transparisteel enclosing him. When brute force didn't work, he placed his palm flat against it. He needed to concentrate. His panicked mind let loose with a telekinetic wave, shattering the transparisteel. The liquid sluiced out in thick waves. He was still covered in the fluid. He fought to hang on to the edge of his pod, realizing only when he'd shattered the transparisteel that he was high in the air, the pod suspended from the ceiling.

He panicked again and energy flowed through the pod. It shook it loose from its holding. He climbed back into the pod, clinging on as it plummeted. On the way down, it took another down. He tried to brace himself for the impact, leaping out just before he hit the ground. He used his abilities to protect himself. This was good. He was thinking. He needed his wits if he was going to get out of it.

An alarm sounded, piercing his fragile ears. Everything was harsh around him. How long had he been held prisoner in stasis?

He blinked, trying to adjust his vision to his surroundings. He saw the destruction in the wake of his escape. Two pods had crashed to the floor. He grimaced at the sight of crushed limbs. At least a dozen other prisoners had been killed in his escape. He hadn't intended to harm anyone.

No, he couldn't focus on such things. What was important was he escape and report what had happened. Was anyone wondering where he was? How long had he been gone?

The facility looked different than he had seen. The pods were bigger than he'd seen before. Rather than infants, they were filled with tall, naked women.

He needed clothing, a weapon and an escape ship. The clothing wasn't difficult. At the door of the facility was a cabinet. He grabbed a pair of pants and shirt, pulling them on. He was beginning to come back to himself. He was no longer naked and vulnerable. He knew who he was.

As he ran into the corridor, he saw figures heading towards him. One of the Kaminoans, tall and thin. Along with them were three humans figures. Two were in white armor. Instinctively, he knew the armor belonged to the enemy, as if he'd seen it before. He'd never seen the black-clad man, but he felt it inside of him. The touch of darkness. He then saw the lighsaber at his hip.

He reached out a hand and called it to him. The Sith Lord's face was one of pure shock as the lightsaber came to his hand.

The Sith Lord stopped, throwing his arms out to hold the others back. He blinked in surprise. "Master Kenobi?"

He smirked in response. "You have me at a disadvantage. You know my name, but I don't know yours." He ignited the lightsaber, taking a fighting stance. "But I do know what to do with you."


	36. Kamino: Catch-Up

Ben kept his attention on Kenobi, his arms still out to hold back Finn and Rex. "Sada Vu, go find out what's happened. I'll take care of this."

The Kaminoan left quickly back down the corridor. Ben didn't really need to find out what happened. He was already putting things together in his head. He brought his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. "Finn, Rex... Helmets off."

The stormtrooper helmets clattered to the ground. "I don't want to fight, Master Kenobi. Whoever you think I am..."

"You're Maul's apprentice," Kenobi spat. "It's obvious."

Ben shook his head. "I'm not. Maul has been dead for nearly forty years. I'm not a Sith Lord. I swear to you. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Forty years?" Kenobi blinked. He maintained his fighting stance, ready to attack at any moment. "I came here to investigate the attempt on Senator Amidala. You're saying that was thirty years ago?"

Ben grimaced. "More like sixty. Darth Maul wasn't quite defeated on Naboo. It's a long story, Master Kenobi. We can get into it later." He gestured to himself. "My name is Obi-Wan as well. I just go by Ben. Ben Solo. My grandfather is Anakin Skywalker... My grandmother was Senator Amidala."

Kenobi shifted slightly, his stance becoming less aggressive, less certain. "That's all ridiculous."

Ben nodded. "Yes, but it doesn't make it any less true."

"The Kaminoans have kept me captive for _sixty years_?" Kenobi roared, however he flicked the beam of the lightsaber off.

Ben grimaced. "Not quite. I told you... It's a very long story. I'll explain it all. Just give me the--"

Kaminoans were moving up behind Kenobi, guns drawn. Ben's eyes widened. "WAIT!"

But it was too late. They'd shot Kenobi in the back. Ben ran up to him, skidding to his knees in front of the fallen Jedi. "What did you do?" Ben demanded. He checked Kenobi's vitals. Still alive. He was just stunned.

"He knows who he is." Ben looked up at the Kaminoans. "How is this possible?"

One of the cloners-- Ben didn't know his name-- shook his head. "We have no idea, Master Ren. It isn't possible. You cannot replicate someone's memories. They are not a part of DNA."

"He can also use the Force with stunning precision and wake up on his own." He stood back up. "What about the other Kenobi clones?"

"Most of them were destroyed in this one's escape," the Kaminoan replied. "The others... Expired."

"They just _expired_?" Rex snarled.

"The bodies have shriveled. We will need to examine the logs, but--"

"There's no need." Ben sighed, looking over the Master Jedi. "I know what happened already. We're leaving."

"Master Ren--" The Kaminoan started.

Ben shook his head. "I don't want to hear it. Send me a transmission with your report on the situation. We'll handle Master Kenobi."

"Master, I don't think--"

Kylo Ren glared up at the Kaminoans, lip curled in disgust. "You have been paid in full. He seems to be fully functioning. I'll take my clone and leave. I'll send transport for the rest in a month. Pray you have no more malfunctions."

Ben took his lightsaber back, clipping it to his waist. He picked up the unconscious Kenobi. "FN-2187, CT-7567... We're leaving."

"Ben, what the hell is happening?" Finn demanded as they walked back towards the entrance

"That's not a clone," Rex snapped. He pointed to the body in Ben's arms. "I met the man. I fought alongside him. That's General Kenobi."

Ben shook his head. "No, Rex... It's not. Not yet. This is Master Kenobi before the Clone Wars. Only by a matter of days, but still... You are right though. He's not a clone. The body, yes... But the rest of him..."

They got back to _Phantom III_. Ben set Kenobi down in the back and strapped him in. What had he done? The Kaminoans had never cloned a Force User before. It was clear to him now what a mistake it was.

Doing this must have been against the Light Side. Tearing a spirit out of the Living Force and into a new body. That was the only explanation. Ben could sense the spirit of the man. His body may have been artificial, but in spirit it was very much Obi-Wan Kenobi. "Rex, Finn, I need you to fly us back to Cataalda. Fast as you can. My mother needs to know about this."

"And what are you going to do?" Finn asked.

Ben gestured to Kenobi. "I'm going to stay with him."

"He doesn't seem to like you," Finn challenged.

"I'm sure he doesn't." Ben shrugged slightly. "But out of everyone on this ship, I'm the only person who could subdue him. Just get us back to the base. Cut down the time as much as possible."

Ben went into the back and began to change out of his robes. He didn't want to be Kylo Ren any longer. Just pretending had made him sick to his stomach. He took out the Corellian Bloodstripe pants and slipped them on. He'd become used to dressing like his father. He breathed a sigh of relief once he was garbed in the smuggler clothes again. It wouldn't be a long trip. Rex could no doubt cut it down to seven hours if he tried.

As horrible as the thought of pulling a spirit from the Living Force was, a thrill went through Ben at the idea of Obi-Wan Kenobi being back. Of course he knew all of the stories of the man. He could help turn the tide of the war. He could take the responsibility of teaching the next generation of Jedi.

That thought made him think of Rey. He was surprised at how little he'd thought about her since he'd been on his mission. It was not that he didn't care about her. He'd simply had other things on his mind. In some ways,he was relieved that he could put her out of his mind enough to get things done.

Hours past before Obi-Wan stirred. Ben looked over him as he began to wake. "I'm glad you're unharmed, Master Kenobi."

Kenobi struggled with his bonds. Ben leaned in and freed him. "I just restrained you in case our ship was jostled."

"Ship?" Kenobi sat up. "Where are you taking me?"

"Back to the base," Ben explained. "My mother will want to meet you."

Kenobi looked warily at Ben, but he made no move against him. "You said at the facility that Anakin Skywalker was your grandfather."

Ben nodded. "He was. My mother's biological father."

"Leia," Obi-Wan said under his breath.

Ben blinked in shock. Had he heard Obi-Wan correctly? "What was that?"

Obi-Wan blinked, looking surprised himself. He shook his head. "I thought I... I don't know. I thought I remembered something, but it was gone in a moment."

That answered things for Ben. This was not some quirk of cloning. Kenobi had not simply retained the memories of his template. Kenobi at this time would have no way of knowing who Leia was. "Do you remember anything that you can't explain? Things you know never happened?"

Obi-Wan seemed to think about it. "I remember... Heat and fire. Black armor." He shook his head. "No... I don't. I don't know what you expect of me." He looked over Ben. "You're not a Sith Lord."

Ben shook his head. "No. I don't blame you for the mistake. You were confused and... I'm not a Jedi. Not yet." He paused. "I was never a Sith, but I was just as bad. Not too long ago. I'm sure you sensed it in me. But I'm trying to redeem myself. I've become a Padawan again."

"The Council would never stand for that." Obi-Wan rose to his feet. "You would never be allowed to train if you'd been corrupted."

"There really is a lot to tell you," Ben sighed. "I don't think I'm the best person to do it. I know you're confused. We're almost at the base. Everything will be a lot easier to explain once we're there. Can you wait?"

Kenobi hesitated. He then nodded. "Fine. But I expect an explanation right away."

* * *

 

Obi-Wan sat in General Organa's private office. The General and Ben were sitting across the table from him.

Obi-Wan stared down at his hands. He let out a deep sigh. "Let me get this straight... There was a war. And then there was another war. And then another war, in which you are currently embroiled."

"I'm afraid so, General Kenobi," General Organa sighed.

Obi-Wan looked up. "I don't remember being a General. I'm not sure I believe any of this. Chancellor Palpatine was the Sith Lord we were searching for. Anakin married Padme and was corrupted by Palpatine before you and your twin brother were born? And the Jedi..."

He felt a wave of sickness go over him. "The Jedi _fell_? The Council is gone. How many Jedi are left?"

"Sorry we're late," a breathless Coruscanti-accented voice said. "Major Syndulla and I were duelling. We only just heard _Phantom III_ was back."

Obi-Wan felt the wave of power. He swivelled in his chair to the new arrivals, a small brunette girl and a tall Twi'lek.

"By the Force," the Twi'lek breathed, staring at Obi-Wan. "Is it my birthday?"

"At least the Dameron clones aren't here yet," Ben grumbled beneath his breath.

"What was that?" The Twi'lek asked.

"Enough," General Organa said. She rose and stood between Obi-Wan and the new arrivals. "Master Kenobi, this is Major Kaila Syndulla and Rey. Along with Ben, they're... It."

"It?" Obi-Wan looked around. "As in these are the last Jedi?"

General Organa nodded. "Yes. There are some children we recently rescued with Force Potential, but Order 66 nearly destroyed the Jedi. Once my brother Luke began to restore the order... They were again destroyed." She paused, glancing towards Ben. "By Snoke."

Major Syndulla held up her hand. "Yeah, Leia?" She pointed at Obi-Wan. "That's General Obi-Wan Kenobi. What the hell is going on?" She then groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Kriff, Ben you're an idiot."

"No one will tell me anything but," Ben groused.

Obi-Wan looked over the gathered people within the office. He felt a deep pange of loss. Sixty years. Everyone he'd known. He now stood with the daughter and grandson of his dearest friend, his brother. A man he'd apparently failed. And two girls who represented the last of the Jedi. "This is a lot to take in, General Organa."

General Organa nodded. "I am sure it is. We can set you up with accommodations. Give you time to acclimatize."

"I daresay that may be a tall order, General." Obi-Wan stood up, shaking his head. "Sixty years... So many wars and destruction... I don't know how I'll be able to come to terms with all of that."

"Major Syndulla, could you please provide Master Kenobi with your holodocs?" General Organa asked.

Major Syndulla nodded. "Of course. Everything I have from the Clone Wars onwards."

"The quarters next to Commander Dameron's are unoccupied. Can you escort Master Kenobi there?"

"Of course." Major Syndulla gestured to Obi-Wan to follow her. "Come with me, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan followed after the Twi'lek. There was a sense of peace around her that was lacking in both Rey and Ben. She was much further along in her training. He eyed her lightsaber. "That weapon is very old."

Major Syndulla touched a hand to it. "It is. It belonged to my father."

"Who was your father?" Of course he knew there were indiscretions in the Jedi Order, but he was surprised how many people were open about it.

Major's Syndulla's nose crinkled in deep thought. "I'm not sure if you knew him yet. He was only a youngling when you're from. Caleb Dume."

He did know the name, but only vaguely. Caleb Dume was just a boy from Obi-Wan's recollection. "I believe I have met him. But he's human?"

"My mother is Twi'lek." She gestured to her head and smiled. "I got the lekku from her and the Force from him."

Obi-Wan smiled back. "You're a full Jedi Knight, aren't you? I can sense it."

"With so few of us, there's little need for rank any longer," Major Syndulla replied. She then nodded. "But yes. I am the last of the old Jedi Knights. Rey and Ben are... Something new. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

"You're their teacher?"

"I'm Ben's... Rey..." Major Syndulla sighed. "Like I said, she's different. I'm sure you'll find that out soon, Master Kenobi."

"I'm not a Master yet, Major," Obi-Wan pointed out. "You're no longer the last of the Jedi Knights. Please call me Obi-Wan."

"Then you may call me Kaila." She stopped in front of a door, opened it and went inside. Obi-Wan awkwardly remained in the doorway, waiting. There was someone already in the quarters, hunched over a droid. It was a barrel-unit Astromech. It looked absolutely ancient, but Obi-Wan recalled when that model first came out. Another droid rolled around the room on a single ball. Obi-Wan had never seen anything like it before. It whistled and rolled out to the door to greet him.

Obi-Wan knelt down next to him. "Hello there." He touched him on the top of the dome. "Droids have certainly changed. You're extraordinary."

The droid beeped his thanks, his head whirling around.

"Oh, you weren't kidding." The handsome, dark-haired man working on the other droid had turned towards the door. He rose and strode over. His eyes were wide. "Master Kenobi. Commander Poe Dameron."

Obi-Wan accepted his hand. "Commander, it's nice to meet you." He noted the green kyber crystal shard around his neck. He didn't sense the Force with him. Ah... He suppose it wasn't surprising Kaila had a lover, if her father had a child.

"Likewise. It's... Surprising." He glanced back at Kaila, who was searching a shelf. He still looked quite wary, nervousness coming off him in waves. "Very, very surprising."

"I find I am quite surprised myself," Obi-Wan replied. He supposed he was going to have to get used to people having such odd reactions to him.

"I've got the discs." Kaila returned with a small number of thin discs. They were much smaller than anything Obi-Wan had seen before. "Let's get you set up next door."

"It was nice to meet you, Commander." Obi-Wan nodded his head to Commander Dameron, following Kaila next door.

The room was sparse, but Obi-Wan had stayed in worse. Kaila placed a small device on the table. "Holodevices have changed a bit since your day, but it's fairly easy. Just insert the disc here." She gestured to the port. "And press this button. There are some tuning controls, but you should be able to play things at least. These docs will help you catch up. The Clone Wars and the Galactic Civil War are the areas I focus on."

"Oh, when you say _your_ holodocs, you meant you created them. You're a historian?"

Kaila nodded. "There's a lot that's been lost. I'm just trying to get it back." She sighed. "Obi-Wan... you're in them. And you're not going to like what you see. What you went through."

Obi-Wan felt the dread deep in his stomach. "General Organa didn't tell me how I..." He swallowed hard. "It was Anakin, wasn't it?"

Kaila nodded. "Yeah. It was. I'm very sorry."

Obi-Wan touched his chest. His solid, utterly real chest. "I don't know what this means. I know I was created by the Kaminoans. But I don't know if that makes me any less Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can't help but feel there's a reason I'm here."

Kaila nodded. "If I have learned anything since I took Ben as a Padawan, it is that the Force works in mysterious ways. I'm sure there is a reason for it."


	37. Cataalda Base: Places

"You took a promotion," Ben sulked in the lounge of the Ghost while Kaila packed up a repulsorlift. "You're taking things off the ship. I thought this ship was our home. We were only supposed to stay here a few days!"

Chopper whistled in agreement, to the shock of everyone.

"The Rebellion needs our help," Kaila pointed out. She loaded up another box. "Wraith Squadron is still out who knows where. If I stay here, I have a better chance of being able to go after them. I can't just come to the Rebellion when I need help. I need to actually contribute. More than just smuggling supplies to them. I'm a Jedi. I need to stop pretending that I'm not. I've trained to protect people my whole life. I need to use it now. You know, you are the one who has been on more Rebel missions in the last month."

"I was fixing a mistake." Ben scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you sure this isn't about Dameron?"

"No," Kaila drew out the word. "I'm not a starry-eyed teenager who needs to be with her boyfriend every second of the day. Is it nice being around him? Yes it is. But that's not the reason we're staying. Why are you fighting this so much? Rey is here. I thought you wanted to be around Rey. She seemed really happy about us staying."

"I'm not..." Ben closed his eyes, unsure how he was supposed to respond. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. What we are now. We did... That... But I know I'm not good enough to be with her. I'm not done training yet! You said I couldn't be around these people yet!"

"The situation has changed." Kaila shoved Ben over and sat herself down next to him. She leaned against him. "People need us. And you have changed. I see it every day. Right now, you're not acting out of a want to protect people. You're acting out of fear. And it's stupid male panic fear. You and Rey had sex. Now you want to run away from her because you don't know how to act around her."

"You got mad that I slept with her!" Ben protested, grimacing as Kaila leaned against him. "I thought you would want me to stay away from her!"

"I wanted you two to take things slowly." Kaila nudged him. "But there's no unringing that bell. Now I want you to be nice to her. Treat her better than most guys after they sleep with a girl the first time. Don't act like a panicked nerf."

A thought came to Ben's mind and he couldn't stop the smile from curling his lips. "So you wouldn't mind if we kept having sex?"

Kaila groaned. "You've really got to do more than that. But I'm not your mother and you're almost thirty years old. If you and Rey want to do that then... Just don't do it around the Holocrons." Kaila jumped up and pat the box of holocrons on the repulsorlift. "We don't want to have a replay of what happened on the way to Coruscant. I doubt I'll get a second reprieve."

"What are you doing with the Holocrons?" Ben eyed the box warily.

"I'm going to give them to Obi-Wan," Kaila picked up one of the Jedi Holocrons. "He can protect them better than anyone and they might come in handy for him. There's information on them about what happened to the Jedi during and after the Clone Wars. He's still trying to catch up."

The mention of Master Kenobi made Ben sit up straight. "So you're okay with him being here? You don't think it's strange?"

"No, it's really strange." Kaila sighed, leaning against the repulsorlift. "A Jedi who died almost thirty-five years ago is alive again. He's in a clone body, but... It's him. It's absolutely him. That's never happened before. But he's one of the greatest Jedi in history. That's a gift from the Force."

"Are you sure?" Ben scowled. "It seemed like just a quirk of cloning."

"Obi-Wan's why you don't want to stay, isn't he?" Kaila stood up straight. "Yeah, you're worried about Rey... But you've been around her for almost three weeks and you haven't had a problem with it until now. You've been trying to hide the fact you two were making out on the _Ghost_ and yes, I did know. You don't want to stay here because of Obi-Wan. Why don't you want to be near him?"

"Because he _is_ one of the greatest Jedi in history." Ben pointed at himself. "Look at who I am, _Numa_. He should want to kill me for what I've done. He did want to kill me. Jedi don't give people who fall to the Dark Side a second chance."

"I gave you a second chance."

Ben waved her off. "You're not a real Jedi."

"Hey!"

"I didn't mean it like that." Ben sighed. "You weren't a part of the Jedi Order. Obi-Wan was. I just don't know if it's a good idea for me to be around him."

Kaila shrugged. "I don't know. It seems like it might be a good idea for you to be around another full Jedi. You can learn from him. He's not going to harm you. He know you're my student. He would risk the wrath of your mother, Rey and me."

Ben pulled himself to his feet. "Someone is going to find out about me sooner or later. It's not going to be pleasant when it happens."

Kaila frowned. "Ben, when we have to run, we'll run. But for now, can we just try to do some good?"

"I've still got a bad feeling about this."

"So noted." Kaila cocked her head. "So should I leave your pack on the ship or do you want me get your quarters?"

"I'm fine here." Ben turned and stalked out, wanting to get away from his tiff with Kaila.

He understood _why_ they should remain with the Rebellion. They were in a dire situation and any people helping them out was important, especially two Force users. But Ben could see it coming... Soon enough, people would find out who he was. Once that happened, he would be driven away.

Kaila thought Anakin would have lived out his days in exile if he had survived the Battle of Endor. Maybe that was the only thing for Ben. Maybe he should have gone to the Unknown Region. He could find Wraith Squadron for Kaila and then stay there, trying to dismantle the First Order facilities there.

Ben needed to clear his head. He needed to get away from the base. He didn't know the layout of the surrounding area, but he didn't really care. If he got lost, he got lost. He was sure almost everyone would prefer it.

Kaila would be able to devote herself fully to the Rebellion. His mother would not longer have to live with the shame of him. Poe and Finn would no longer hold such resentment. Rose would never have to think ill of him.

And Rey...

"What are you doing?"

Ben felt the tug in his heart. He had not felt it in a while. Then he saw Rey in front of him. She was kneeling somewhere. She was wet, her tunic clinging to her. "What are _you_ doing?"

"I asked first," Rey questioned. "I felt it. You want to leave?"

"You know I should," Ben replied. "I'm not doing anyone any good here."

"You're doing more good than I am," Rey shot back, the bitterness in her voice clear. "You just got back on a mission and you got the Rebellion a clone army. I've just been sitting around with people gaping at me, thinking I'm some sort of hero."

"You _are_ a hero." Ben's eyes roved over her. "Really, what are you doing?"

Rey went silent, looking away. She then wrinkled her nose. "I'm trying to learn how to swim."

" _Really_?"

"I grew up on a desert planet!" Rey pointed out. "And it would be a really good thing for me to know seeing as how there doesn't seem to be a lot of those. I nearly drowned when I was in that cave."

Ben smiled. He broke into a run. He didn't need to be told where she was. He could feel her. Soon enough, he saw her in the flesh. He immediately began to strip down.

"What are you doing?" Rey asked, slightly panicked.

Ben tossed his shirt over his shoulder. "You want to learn how to swim. I'll teach you." He pointed to her. "You know it would be easier for you to do if you weren't wearing your clothes. They're creating drag."

Rey scowled, curling her arms around herself to cover her. "You were thinking about leaving."

"I was," Ben admitted. He stood in front of Rey, stripped down to his underwear. "But not because of you."

"What we did..." Rey said slowly. "Do you regret it?"

Ben shook his head. He thought back on his conversation with Kaila. "I don't regret it at all. But I don't know if we should do that again. For a while."

Rey looked him over. "I'm getting some mixed signals with you in your underwear."

Ben waded into the water. He shivered at the cold before ducking his head beneath the water. He came up, his hair dripping wet. "We should get to know each other. Really get to know each other. Kaila's made it clear we're staying for a while. So you and I can be together like... Normal people."

"We're not normal," Rey replied, standing up, she slowly began to pull off her clothes.

Ben licked his lips, eyeing her hungrily. "I know we're not. But we can be as normal as we are." He tread water. "But we shouldn't jump into anything."

Once she was down to her undergarments, Rey hesitantly walked into the water.

"How did you not drown when you were in the cave?" Ben asked, coming to meet her and taking Rey's hand.

"The Force," Rey admitted. She seemed to give up control to Ben, letting him lead her out into the water. "So you're good at swimming?"

"My dad taught me." He felt a pang of nostalgia and guilt at the memory of him and his father in the water together. He had been very young. Chewbacca had been at the lakeside, complaining that the water would weigh down his fur.

"Ben?" Rey's voice was quiet. "What does going slow mean?"

He looked down and noticed her eyeing his bare chest. "I know what you're thinking."

"Are you using the Force on me?" Rey asked.

Ben shook his head. "I don't need the Force." He lifted Rey up into his arms. "You're as transparent as your tunic was." He kissed her firmly. "That's okay. But what we did on Coruscant... I don't know if we should do that for a while."

"But I want to," Rey replied.

"So do I," Ben admitted. "But..."

"No offense to Captain Syndulla, but what does she even know about relationships? She and Poe have been sleeping together since he was in flight school and they've only now made some sort of commitment to each other." Rey placed her hand on his face, stroking his beard. "Ben, I'm not sure about anything right now... Except for you. I want you."

Ben groaned. She was some sort of test by the Force. To make sure he had resolve. He took a deep breath. "Okay, so I'm going to put you back in the water. I'll hold your hands and pull you along while you kick your legs. Then we'll work on your arms. How does that sound?"

"Not as fun as what I want to do," Rey groused.

Ben placed Rey back down into the water. "Come on. This is training." He looked down at her. She looked gorgeous with her dark hair plastered to her neck and shoulders. "Maybe after we can... Not train. But for now, let's do this."


	38. Cataalda Base: Roles

Poe opened the hatch of his X-Wing, taking in a breath of fresh air. he'd just gotten back from his test flight with his new X-Wing. It was an older model, but it was all they had at the moment. BB-8 whistled as he was removed from his compartment.

"You did good work today, Buddy," Poe told the droid. He pat the ship. "But we're going to have to get this thing painted black if we're going to keep flying it. Just doesn't seem right."

Snap ran up to him and clapped him on the shoulder. "How did it feel to be up in an X-Wing again?"

"Good, I just miss the old one." Poe shook his head. "You're lucky, Snap. Being out when the First Order attacked. Didn't get your ship blown to hell."

"Listen... I wanted to talk to you before we left, but I didn't get the chance..."

Poe sighed, knowing what Snap was going to ask him. "Major Syndulla shouldn't have worried you about Wraith Squadron. We don't know if anything is wrong yet."

"We know something is going on with Master Bridger," Snap pointed out. "Kaila said she sensed it with the Force... By the way, did you know Kaila was a _Jedi_? I've known her for years and she just... Never mentioned it."

"It's not really something she talked about... for good reason." Poe sighed. "Yeah, I knew."

"Yeah. I guess there's a lot about her that you know that I don't." Snap gave Poe a leering look, nudging him. "Still. I'm pretty inclined to believe a Jedi if she says something is wrong."

"We're not planning to abandon Wraith Squadron." Poe clapped Snap on the shoulder. "We just need time. Once we get the clone army up and running... We're going to have a lot more people to mount a rescue. Don't worry."

Poe jogged into the base, BB-8 following alongside him. When they arrived at their quarters, BB-8 backed up and let out a low whistle.

"It's okay, Buddy," Poe replied, opening the door. "It's the first thing in the morning, you're not going to interrupt anything."

Poe blinked when the door open and he was greeted by Kaila's naked, green backside. "BB-8!"

BB-8 chirped and immediately turned his dome to face away. "Go and get charged up, maybe?"

BB-8 rolled off and Poe went into the room, quickly closed the door. "You just gave BB-8 a photoreceptorful."

"Hm?" Kaila turned away from the bed. "Sorry. I didn't see you there. How did the test flight go?"

Poe walked up to Kaila and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her bare shoulder. "Good. Controls need a bit of a tune up, but I can fly anything. Why are you so distracted?" He looked down at the bed. There were robes spread out there. They were tan and brown. He'd only seen a few people wear them in real life. Mostly it had been confined to holovids. He slipped a hand up, playing with the ring that rested on her breasts. "Why are you standing in our quarters naked and staring at robes? Not that I have a problem with the naked part. Coming back from a flight with a naked woman waiting for me is definitely not a bad thing. But it's not really a fantasy if you're distracted. What's going on?"

"Convincing myself to get dressed." She leaned heavily against Poe. "I only ever dressed in these things at the temple. When I first met up with Ben, he called me a Jedi washout. And he wasn't wrong. Since the Jedi fell, I've hidden from it. I couldn't be a Jedi. Not with the Knights of Ren out. But now I've got to be a Jedi. Major Kaila Syndulla. I don't know what I'm doing, Poe."

Poe pressed a kiss to Kaila's lekku. "I bet you look really good in them. But you don't have to wear them. You're going to be good at this. You just need to give yourself a chance."

Kaila's lekku crossed over each other twice. Poe smiled. "I love you too." He turned her around to face him. "Leia wants to wait until the clone army is ready to deploy before we take on any new missions. General Calrissian is working on getting us some more ships. You have some time to get used to things. And no one is expecting you to be a green-skinned Luke Skywalker."

"I still have to be a Jedi." Kaila wrapped her arms around Poe's neck. "I've heard the chatter around the base. People _know_."

"You can be a Jedi baring your midriff. I like your midriff." Poe crouched down and kissed Kaila's navel.

She laughed, pushing him away. "I don't even know what Leia wants me to do yet."

"You'll find out. Kai, you can do this. Like you said, you watched your mother do this kind of stuff for years. Hera Syndulla is one of the greatest generals the Rebellion and the New Republic ever had."

" _That's_ not intimidating at all." Kaila strode across the room and grabbed her usual pants and midriff baring top. She began to pull them on. "Poe, I'm a _smuggler._ The only Jedi thing I've done in years is begin to train a conflicted dark side user." Once she was dressed, she looked back down at the robes on the bed. She snatched up the dark outer robes and donned them. She slipped her lekku out to rest in the hood. "You're my commander. Tell me what I'm supposed to do."

Poe took a sharp intake of breath at the sight of her in the robes. He didn't know if he'd ever seen her look so powerful, so beautiful. "You're supposed to be you, Kai. You can do this. Leia wouldn't have promoted you if she didn't believe in you." Poe walked up to her and cradled her face. "Be brilliant and fearless. I know you can do both."

Kaila leaned into Poe's hand. She closed her eyes and smiled. "Why didn't we do this years ago, Poe?"

Poe smiled back, shaking his head. "Honestly, I have no idea. I think we're just idiots."

* * *

 

"A clone army?" Rose repeated, leaning towards Finn as he looked over schematics. "That was what you didn't want me to know? Why is that such a big deal? I've been mad at you for _days_."

Finn sighed, looking away from his work. "You didn't have to be mad at me. You know there are sometimes when I'm not going to be able to tell you something. It's not because I don't _want_ to. I want to tell you everything. But sometimes I'm under orders."

Rose sighed. "Fine. But I'm still not happy about this. You don't have to send me out of the room because you need to make a plan. I thought we were a team." She stood back up. "I have to get back to work."

"I'm so sorry about that. I was looking forward to being yelled at some more."

Rose scowled at her boyfriend, but turned and stalked off without another word. She needed to get to work on the X-Wings. They all needed work if they were going to be going off into battle soon. They needed to take advantage of the lull while there was one.

Rose started with Poe's X-Wing. She knew that was going to be the first one that was going to see action. There was no way Poe would stay away from danger. She got to work tuning up the engines.

"What are you doing?"

Rose shrieked in surprised, jumped back and tossed her hydrospanner up in the air. It hovered in front of her. She hesitantly reached out and plucked it out of the air. She then turned back to look at Ben. "All we have are T-65s except for Snap and Jessika's."

"Those are seriously out of date," Ben replied, eyes widening. "The First Order will massacre you."

"That's why I need to get to work on them. So we have a chance." She got back to work opening the panel.

"Can I help?" Ben asked. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Kaila's training me, but now she's working for the Rebellion and..."

"Toolkit is there." Rose smiled. "You seemed to know what you were doing on the _Ghost_. Basically... Make these better. Try to get them as close to the T-85s as you can."

Ben obligingly went to get some tools and get to work on the ship. Rose watched him as he went. She didn't understand Ben Solo at all. She was glad for the help, but he could have been far more use to the Rebellion using his other skills. He was a Jedi. Why was he slumming it helping her out?

Ben turned his head to look at her. He stared at her. Rose gulped.

"You think really loudly," Ben commented.

Rose nearly dropped her hydrospanner again. "Oh? You know what I'm..."

Ben shook his head. "I'm not using the Force on you, if that is what you're wondering. You're just not being very subtle. Certainly you've realized I'm different."

Rose nodded. It was obvious to anyone.

Ben opened up a panel, focusing himself on his work. "I didn't believe in any of this for a long time. I pulled myself away from my family. But now I'm back. It's not easy. I'm not just going to swagger in, swinging my lightsaber and act like I know what I'm doing. So I'm going to help where I can. And where I can is with you."

"So Ben the Technician." Rose smiled broadly. "Thank you. I could use the help."

Ben looked away from his work. He met Rose's eyes. "You just accept my help. You don't want to ask any questions about where I was when I wasn't here?"

Rose shook her head. "I figure you'll tell me when you're ready. I do want to get to know you, but I'm not going to force it out of you. I trust you."

This time, it was Ben who nearly dropped a tool. "Why would you?"

"You seem nice," Rose replied. "Besides, I don't think Rey would waste her time with someone I couldn't trust."

Ben's cheeks turns a deep red color. "You know about me and Rey?"

Rose giggled, going back to her work. "I just knew she liked you. I didn't realize there was anything to know passed that. So you two are..."

Ben cleared his throat. He focused back on his work, his face still very red. "I wouldn't mention it to Finn. He won't be too happy about it. He doesn't like me much."

Rose didn't understand the problem her boyfriend had with Ben. A dark part in her that she tried to ignore wondered if maybe it was jealousy. She knew that Finn had feelings for Rey before she had come along. What other reason could be for Finn disliking Ben so much?

But then, Poe also seemed to dislike Ben. That wasn't explained away by Rey's feelings for the man. There must have been something else...

Then, Rose thought-- really thought-- about what Ben had said. He had left his family. He'd abandoned their ideals. There was only one thing that would make Finn and Poe both dislike Ben. "You were with the First Order."

Ben kept looking away. This time, it wasn't out of embarrassment. It was pure shame. "I thought I could find something with them. All I found was pain and misery. What I was looking for was here. I was just afraid of it."

Rose knew she should look at him differently. He had been a part of the enemy. But then, hadn't Finn also been the enemy at one time? "You're here now. That's what matters."

Ben looked at her and for the first time since she'd met him, Rose saw him genuinely smile. "I think I'm going to like working for you, Rose."


	39. Cataalda Base: Outcasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who have been reading this story from the beginning, there have been a few changes based on the back half of Rebels episodes, because I loved how Rebels ended. I've gone back and edited the whole story for continuity. You can see what changes were made here: https://kylos-electric-slide.tumblr.com/post/171615033560/
> 
> But the main takeaway is that (1) Ahsoka Tano is alive, but unaccounted for at the current time. She raised Kaila during the Galactic Civil War rather than Ezra (however, Ezra was still Kaila's master). (2) Kaila has a non-Force Sensitive twin brother named Jacen who was raised by Hera. He will be appearing in future chapters, but there were a few mentions of him edited in.

Sixty years of future history was a lot to come to terms with. Obi-Wan felt like he was beginning to acclimate fairly well, at least on an intellectual level. A good immersion in the holocrons and holodocumentaries over several weeks had given him a good idea and what had happened in the past half-century.

While he did  _ know _ what had happened, he wasn't sure he  _ understood _ it. It seemed so impossible that things could have fallen so much. The Jedi were virtually extinct because of one man. His friend-- his  _ brother _ \-- had murdered him and turned to the Dark Side. The galaxy had been ripped apart by war after war. 

But even in such darkness, he could see the glimmers of light. The Rebellion was astounding to look upon. The Rebels had faced such hardship, but still persisted. They'd faced against planet destroying weapons and came out on top. They lost friends and loved ones and continued to fight on.

The knowledge that everything he’d worked for in his life was nearly destroyed was like a punch to the gut, but there was still a sliver of hope left.

He found himself drawn to Kaila. There was something comforting in her. Probably it was the thin slice of familiarity. Her Jedi robes and the lightsaber at her side were a sight Obi-Wan wasn’t certain he was ready to give up yet. Yes, there were other Force users, but Obi-Wan felt disquieted by Ben and Rey. He supposed he could’ve turned to General Organa, but she just reminded him of how much time had passed. The daughter of Anakin, Padme and Senator Organa was decades older than him. It was a harsh jolt to his system he needed to get used to.

Obi-Wan had been avoiding the Rebels for the most part. They all needed to take the time to adjust. However, he was feeling isolated and needed companionship. His ease with with Kaila made him decide she was the best person the seek out now that he desired human contact.

He found her by Commander Dameron's X-Wing. She was laying across the nose of the ship while he crouched down near his droid. He was wearing the orange flightsuit all of the pilots did, but the top portion was hanging from his waist, a white undershirt all that covered his chest. Obi-Wan smiled at the waves of happiness that were coming off of them.

"You know you could sit inside the ship to program it," Dameron said with a smirk.

Kaila stretched out her legs. "A bit cramped for me."

"You look like one of the pin-ups my roommate had at flight school." Dameron got to his feet and leaned in towards Kaila.

"Your roommate? Or you?" She laughed, posing like she was a pin-up model. "Quit teasing me or I won't finish uploading Black One's back-up."

"Wasn't teasing." Dameron scooped her into his arms. "I was thinking I should take a holo." He kissed her, laughing.

There was such warmth and joy. But their joy was marred with his own sorrow. 

His thoughts turned to Satine. That had been something he could've done without learning from the holocrons. It would've been so much easier if he'd never seen her again. If had only been that one year on Mandalore he remembered. It would have been a bittersweet memory.  But the holocrons had told him about their reunion years later. How she had died in his arms.

There were memories of Satine that he couldn't remember. Only a vague sensation of hollow loss.

Kaila swatted at the commander to put her down, before leaning in to give him another quick kiss and Obi-Wan envied her with every fiber of his being. It was a horrible, selfish thought. It was unfitting of a Jedi to even consider. Kaila had been born in a time when the Jedi were nearly extinct. Because of that, she was free to follow her own desires. She could be a Jedi and still openly and proudly share affection with the person she loved.

Dameron's droid-- Obi-Wan had discovered his designation was BB-8-- had turned and whistled at him. Dameron turned his head. "Master Kenobi. This is a surprise."

"Please, Commander." Obi-Wan stepped forward. "Just Obi-Wan. I'm afraid if people heard you call me Master Kenobi they'd be terribly disappointed. I've caught up on quite a bit of my predecessor's actions. They are very big shoes to fill."

"In that case, call me Poe. You know, no one is sure what to expect from you. I think you'll..." 

Obi-Wan found himself looking at Kaila. That envious sensation would not go away. She looked happy. Unburdened. He wondered what her training had been like, her upbringing. Had being a Jedi really changed so much?

"I think you'll surprise everyone," Poe's tone had changed, hardened. Obi-Wan jumped slightly, turning to face the man.

His eyes were narrowed, glaring at Obi-Wan. "So what are you doing here? You haven't been out of your quarters in weeks." He strode to Kaila and put his hands on her hips, still glaring at Obi-Wan. "Kai and I have been getting ready to fight a war. But I guess that's something you don't really understand, right? You've never been in a war before. Because you're from before the Clone Wars."

Obi-Wan wasn't quite certain what had brought on this aggressive bravado-- although he had an inkling. He still raised himself up to full height. "I assure you, I have seen quite a bit of combat, Commander. However, it is not something that should be bragged about. One should be ready for combat. But it should be the last option. It shouldn't be used to... Say... Impress women."

Kaila looked over her shoulder. She pushed Poe's hands away from her. "Listen, I don't know why you two are doing this all of the sudden, but can you have your pissing contest somewhere else so BB-8 and I can finish programming this ship? The general wants the squadron ready to fly in three days."

"It's my ship!" Poe protested.

"Okay." Kaila pulled back. "Then I'll leave you to it. Have fun. Obi-Wan, I could use a cup of caf. Would you care to join me?"

Obi-Wan followed after Kaila away from the docking bay. "I must apologize, Kaila."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Poe was trying to antagonize you." She lead them through the corridors. "I don't know what got him in a mood."

"I believe I do," Obi-Wan replied. "I think he saw me staring at you and became a bit possessive."

This caused Kaila to stop dead in her tracks. She slowly turned to look at him, her eyes wide. Her lekku twitched slightly. "You were staring at me?"

Obi-Wan held up a hand. "It was entirely innocent, I assure you. I meant nothing untowards. I was just thinking about how different your life is. How being a Jedi has changed from my time. I found myself rather jealous of your relationship with Commander Dameron. The last few minutes withstanding, you two seem to be quite happy."

Kaila smiled. "He's a possessive jerk and I love him. We're still kind of new. I think it makes him a bit insecure. It doesn't help he's heard me say for years how hot you were back during the Clone Wars."

It was now Obi-Wan's turn for his eyes to grow wide.

Kaila showed no sign of shame. She shrugged. "You're an attractive man who turns up in a lot of my research. I expressed the opinion sometimes. Mostly to bother him... I never thought you'd be randomly cloned and show up with all of your memories. Of all of the things I expected to happen, that was really low on the list."

Obi-Wan's face felt hot. He was surprised at just how forthright Kaila was. "Well... I..."

"I'll leave him dangling for a bit," Kaila replied, not waiting for Obi-Wan to figure out exactly what his response would be. "He's got to learn that I love him no matter who else is around and he doesn't need to be a possessive asshole."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Kaila, I thought you were the person I would feel most at ease with... I'm now feeling very different about that."

"That has nothing to do with the cloning." Kaila winked. "A lot of people feel that way."

 

* * *

 

Ben felt himself slipping deeper and deeper into his meditation. He'd been working too long with Rose. He needed to shake off the claustrophobic sensation of being trapped inside of an engine for hours at a time. It was hard for people to work on engines up close. There was so much radiation a suit was required, but that made them harder to work on. But Ben was able to hold back the radiation with the Force while he did his work.

Using skills and luck only he could possess, Lando has acquired a Corona-class frigate. It needed a lot of work before it was made into the flagship of the Rebellion. He already knew what his mother was planning to call the ship.

_ Skywalker _ did seem like a fitting name for a ship. 

But after that work, he needed to be out in the open. He'd gone to a small clearing not far from the base. He could hear the sounds of the forest around them. The world was alive. It was something Ben hadn't had the chance to enjoy for years, since before he'd joined the First Order.

Ben's mind wandered through the base. He felt the emotions of the Rebels... From Kaila's irritation with Poe, to his mother's worry and Rey's...

Rey's emotion's made him sit up straighter. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "How long have you been watching me?"

"I didn't want to disturb you." Rey sat down in front of him. "I was just... You looked peaceful."

"Probably the only time I look like that," Ben knew it was a weak joke, but Rey smiled all the same.

"I like your jumpsuit." She reached out and tugged on the collar of his uniform. "Maintenance staff. I never would've expected that."

"I'm good at fixing things," Ben replied. He reached up and took a hold of her slender hand. He squeezed it tenderly, lacing their fingers. "Probably because I broke so many things when I was a kid. I learned how to fix them."

"Were you clumsy?" Rey asked.

Ben shook his head. "No... I was angry. And when I got angry or scared I would break things. I didn't mean to. The Force just... It would just come out. I learned how to fix things so that maybe my parents wouldn't realize what happened. They always found out."

Rey bowed her head slightly. Ben wasn't sure if it was out of shame or guilt or pity. 

"It's just the way things were," Ben assured her. "My parents used to talk about me. They thought I couldn't hear them. They talked about me like... Like I wasn't their son. Like I was a monster."

"No wonder you felt like..."

Ben shook his head. "What I told you. It was wrong. Someone very wise told me that you can't just let go of the past. You should let go of the bad of the past. But remember the good. And there was good." He brought Rey's hand to his face, leaning against it. "And my parents tried. I know that now. Not everyone had that. You didn't have that. Finn didn't have that. Poe's mother died when he was a kid. Kaila's father died before she was born and she didn't even meet her mother until she was five."

"You've changed so much," Rey whispered. Her fingers stroked over his cheek.

Ben savored the warmth of Rey's hand against his face. The touch of her was so comforting to him, a balm to any of the dark thoughts that swirled up in him. "Hopefully for the better."

Rey nodded. She moved her hand away from Ben. He was momentarily disappointed, but that was quickly quelled as she crawled to him and fit herself next to him. He wrapped an arm around her, pressing her against his side. He smiled warmly down at her.

It was so easy with her. Their connection had so quickly become a true bond.

He loved this woman. As she tipped her head up to look at him, he could see that she loved him in return.

He lowered his head to press his mouth to hers. She sighed against his lips, one hand digging into his hair and pulling him closer.

They pulled apart at the sound of brush cracking underfoot. Ben looked up and let out a shaky breath. Rey squeaked softly.

Finn was standing over them, hand hovering over his blaster. His gaze was filled with barely contained rage.


	40. Cataalda Base: Separation

"Finn..." Rey pulled herself out of Ben's arms and rose to her feet. She looked at Finn's hand, twitching over his blaster. She held out her hands, trying to calm him. "I didn't want you to find out like this."

"You didn't want me to find out at all!" Finn snapped.

Ben got up. He looked between Finn and Rey. "Maybe I should go."

"You should," Finn snarled. "You should leave right now. This base... This _planet_. No one wants you here, Ren."

Rey reached out and grabbed Ben's hand, squeezing it tightly. She felt him immediately relax with her touch. "I do."

Finn's expression just became darker at Rey's pronouncement and her move to touch Ben. "Yeah, well, right now I'm not too sure about your judgment." He turned to stalk off.

Rey felt helpless as he left. She looked to Ben, hoping for some guidance. Ben jerked his chin towards where Finn had gone. "Go after him. He's your friend."

She gave Ben a grateful smile before racing after Finn. Underbrush crunched under her feet and she shoved branches out of her way, keeping her on a direct path to him. "Finn, you have to stop! Just talk to me."

"How long?" Finn demanded, whirling around to face Rey. The disgust and disappointment on his face pained Rey. She wasn't surprised that he was acting this way.  No, she knew he would. That was why she was keeping her relationship with Ben from him.

"It's complicated." Rey grimaced as the words left her lips. It sounded pathetic to her ears. It was clear from the look on Finn's face he was no more impressed by the statement than she was.

He nodded slowly. "Complicated. You were kissing the man who nearly killed me. He _cut open my back_. He tortured Poe for information. He tortured _you_ for information. He killed Han. He helped the First Order destroy the Hosnian System."

Rey opened her mouth to speak, but found herself unable to say anything in her defense. She knew everything Ben had done as Kylo Ren. The rational part of her mind still told herself how wrong their relationship was. The person she'd been only a few months before would've been horrified by her choice to be with someone like Ben.

But that didn't change the way she felt about him.

"Again... How long has it been going on?"

"Since Tatooine," Rey admitted. She didn't want to lie to Finn. She sighed, shaking her head. She didn't know if that was entirely the truth. Yes, that had been when they'd first kissed, but hadn't things really been going on long before that? Since the moment they'd touched hands through the Force on Ahch-to?

"Tatooine?" Finn repeated. "So basically the moment you saw him again after he _nearly killed us all_ on Crait. That's great. That's just... Great. Rey, he's a psychotic murderer."

"He's changed," Rey insisted. "You've seen it. He's been here for weeks now. You know Ben isn't the same person as Kylo Ren."

Finn shook his head savagely. "No! He's exactly the same person as Kylo Ren. Ben Solo _is_ Kylo Ren. Always has been. I've never forgotten who he was. What he's done. You and General Organa and Major Syndulla are trying to hide it from everyone, because you _know_ he hasn't changed."

Rey didn't agree with Finn. Ben had changed. But she understood why he felt that way. Even if he had changed, there were horrible things he'd done as Kylo Ren. Finn had every right to mistrust him. Everyone else would feel the same. That was why they were keeping it from him. Still, being confronted by her friend made Rey's aggressive side kick in. She grit her teeth. "Is that all this is about?"

"What else would it be about?" Finn snapped.

"I don't know..." Rey cocked her head to the side. "Maybe it's about jealousy?"

Finn's expression darkened. Rey didn't know if she'd ever seen him look so angry. It was a tranquil fury that chilled her to the very bone. "This has nothing to do with you. You're so full of yourself to even think that. Get over yourself. I'm with Rose. I'm _happy_ with Rose. And anything that I might have felt for you at one time..." He shook his head. "I don't think I knew who you were really were. If you'd allow yourself to be touched by that _thing_. What does that make you?"

"I'm your _friend_ ," Rey replied.

Finn glared at her. "I don't even know if you're that. If you were my friend, you would see what he's done to me, to the people I care about. My friend would _care_ ." Finn let out a hollow laugh. "But no. You don't care, do you? You care about him. That's all you care about. That's all you've cared about for a long time. I _knew it_. I knew there was something different about you. I didn't want to admit it, but... I knew it. I told myself that you wouldn't be different when you came back from your Jedi training. But you were. And you've changed into someone..." He took a step back. "You've changed into someone I don't want to be around."

"Finn..." Rey stepped towards him.

Finn held up his hands. "Stay away from me, Rey. Right now... I can't even look at you."

She watched helplessly as Finn turned away from her and strode back to the base. Part of her was desperate to go after him. She wanted to find a way to explain to him what had happened. But she knew in her heart that nothing was going to change Finn's mind. She closed her eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

After a long moment, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Wordlessly, she turned to Ben. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him lift her up to press her to him. She breathed in his scent and took comfort in his presence.

Finn might judge her for her decisions, but she couldn't see how they could be wrong as she felt the warmth of Ben against her. The only thing in the world she'd ever been sure about was the man holding her. The path she was on was always going to lead to him.

* * *

 

Leia wanted to throw something. It was lucky there was nothing on hand for her to whip at the holoprojector, or else the maintenance crew would've had a hell of a clean up. As it was, she was having trouble keeping her Force powers under control to not fry the thing.

"Everything all right, Leia?" Lando asked as he sauntered into the room. "I thought the repairs on _Skywalker_ were going well."

Leia shook her head, grimacing as she continued to glower at the holoprojector. "It's not the _Skywalker_. That's going fine. We've gotten some news in. Something came over the DarkNet. Lieutenant Connix, can you get Major Syndulla for me?"

Kaydel nodded and ran off to retrieve Kaila. Leia turned her attention to Lando. She sighed deeply. "This isn't good, Lando."

"What's going on?" Lando asked. He sat down next to Leia. " _Skywalker_ will be up and running in a few days. Rose said that she's nearly got Black Squadron back in working order. It'll be the best fleet anyone's got left to fight against the First Order."

"That's still not as good as we had before," Leia replied. "Lando, we've been fighting this same battle for sixty years. Every time we think we've done some good-- that maybe we're a little closer to winning-- The Empire comes back again. That's who the First Order is. Same group, different name. Maybe we're never going to be able to beat them. Not really. Darth Sidious broke the galaxy. We might not be able to fix it."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that." Lando took Leia's hands. "You're the one who is always saying hope is like the sun. So it's night right now... All we have to do is hold out until daybreak. And it will come eventually."

"I've been trying to think that." Leia looked down at Lando's hands holding hers. He was all that was left. Him and Chewbacca and the droids. Everyone else she had fought with during the Galactic Civil War were either dead or who knew where in the Unknown Region.

"Things have gotten better," Lando pointed out. "Look at Ben. Just a few months ago he was the strongest asset the First Order had. Now he's here."

"He's a maintenance worker here," Leia pointed out. "He's so afraid of touching what made him an asset to the First Order, he wants to play around with ships."

"Thankfully he's really good at doing that." Lando put a comforting arm around Leia. "He and Rose are almost single-handedly responsible for fixing up Black Squadron. Some of those T-65s flew on Hoth. But they've got them as close to T-85s as still exist in the galaxy. And we're getting more and more people every day. People who know what the First Order are planning to do."

"Not as many as you think..." Leia sighed.

The door to the War Room opened and Kaila entered, accompanied by Poe. Leia pulled away from Lando and stood up. "Major Syndulla, thank you for coming. Commander Dameron, I'm glad you came with her. You should see this too."

"What's going on?" Kaila asked. "Lieutenant Connix didn't tell me. I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"We're all in trouble," Leia replied. She went to the holoprojector. "A message came over the DarkNet. It wasn't exactly the message I was looking for. It was from the Governor of Lothal."

"What?" Kaila's jaw dropped.

Poe's eyes widened. "Why would he be sending a message over the DarkNet?"

"See for yourself." Leia pressed a button and began to replay the message. A handsome young man with vivid green hair appeared in the holo.

"The wars that have consumed the galaxy for the past sixty years have ravaged our galaxy. And the ones who pay the price for these wars are the small systems. We are tired of suffering under leaders we did not elect, in battles we did not want. Attached to this holo are a list of planets. We are declaring our independence from both the First Order and the remnants of the New Republic. We will no longer pay the price for your wars. Any attempt to breach our systems will be met with swift and fierce retaliation. The Coalition of Freed Planets will support no leaders but their own."

Kaila groaned. "Oh Jai..."

She leaned against Poe for support. He seemed a bit surprised by the move, hesitantly patting her on the shoulder. Leia wasn't sure why he was so uncertain of comforting his lover.

"I don't understand," Kaydel said. "Lothal is a tiny system. It's not strategically important. Why does it matter so much?"

"Major Syndulla is close to the governor, Kaydel," Poe explained.  "They're twins."

"Oh. _Oh_...." Kaydel looked at the holo. "I never would have..."

"Yeah, there's not much of a family resemblance," Kaila sighed. "He takes after my dad. I'm also not a complete and utter _idiot_ ." She turned to Leia. "Permission to take the _Ghost_ to Lothal to smack some sense into him?"

"I admire the sentiment and I'm not sure I disagree with you, but we can't intimidate people into joining our cause... Even if they are family."

Kaila sighed, nodding her head. "All right... Permission to leave in the middle of the night against orders and without your knowledge?"

Leia nodded. "Be careful, Major. He did state very clearly that he would attack any ship that came into the system."

"You know the _Ghost_ has always been good at getting around blockades... _Especially_ on Lothal." She shrugged slightly. "Besides, he doesn't know I'm flying for the Rebellion. He'll probably think I'm coming to borrow money again."

"You borrow money from your brother?" Poe snickered.

Kaila scowled. "Being a Jedi doesn't exactly pay for fuel. I'll be back in a few days, General."

Kaila turned and left. Poe looked to Leia.

Leia smiled, shaking her head. "I'm not going to wait for you to ask for permission. I already know you're going with her."

Poe grinned and ran after her. Leia sank back down into her chair. She looked to Lando. Lando shook his head. "Now I get it. How many systems have joined the Coalition?"

"Too many," Leia replied. "And a lot of planets I was holding out hope for. More and more people are getting sick of the fighting. If someone who was as loyal as Jacen Syndulla is leading a charge against us? That sun might be farther away than you think."


	41. Cataalda Base: Partners

Poe flipped a few switches from the co-pilot seat of the Ghost. He glanced next to him at Kaila.

" _You're cleared for takeoff, Ghost,_ " Kaydel said. " _But if anyone asks, you did this without General Organa's say so."_

"Thanks, Kayko," Poe replied. "We'll try to be back in two days."

He turned off the comm and looked to Kaila. "So... Captain... Lothal. I haven't been there in a long time. It'll be nice to see it again."

"Would be nice if we were going under better circumstances." Kaila's knuckles paled as she gripped the controls. She grimaced. "But no... We have to go because my brother is a complete moron."

The ship rose off the ground, fly into the sky and threw the atmosphere. Kaila pressed some buttons.

"What do you think..."

Kaila held up a hand and continued to press buttons. After a few minutes, space blurred into hyperspace. She then looked to Poe. "He's thinking that the Resistance doesn't have a hope in hell of beating the First Order. Maybe he was around Grandpa too much. He's more worried about Lothal than the rest of the galaxy."

Poe shook his head, sneering. "I've known your brother for my whole life. We were in flight school together. I was his wingman before he got married! He believed in the New Republic."

"The New Republic is gone," Kaila replied. "And as far as Jacen can see, everyone he cared about was lost to the Rebellion. Dad died before we were born. And the last time I saw him..." She sighed, shaking her head sadly. "...He wasn't too hopeful about Mom and the others. They've been gone a long time. If I didn't have a connection to Ezra, I don't know if I'd still hold out hope they were okay." She looked down. "As it is, I'm still not even sure about them."

Poe reached over and took a hold of Kaila's hand, squeezing it tightly. "We'll find out what happened to Wraith Squadron. I promise."

Kaila nudged their joined hands. "You want to tell me what this is about? Before Kaydel came to get us, we were fighting."

Poe hesitated before he squeezed Kaila's hand. He groaned softly. "Can't we just forget that? We've got other things to worry about now."

"We've got all night before we get to Lothal." Kaila glowered at Poe and let go of his hand. He straightened up at her glare. "You were in the middle of telling me how you don't trust me."

"I trust you!" Poe exclaimed. "I just know how you felt about Master Kenobi."

"You mean had a vague admiration of the physical appearance of a guy who was died literally the day before I was born?"

Poe got out of his seat and knelt down beside Kaila's seat. "He was looking at you and I got a little possessive. I saw that look in his eyes."

Kaila reached to Poe and stroked her fingers over his beard. "A look of longing, you mean? He was longing for what we _have_ . The Jedi in his time never got that. He thought we looked _happy_."

Poe closed his eyes and leaned into Kaila's caress. He felt guilty at the revelation. Of course. A Jedi Master wasn't going to be trying to lure his girlfriend away. "I don't want to fight." Poe looked up at Kaila. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been an ass to Obi-Wan. I'm just not very good at this boyfriend thing." He scooped Kaila up and slipped into the pilot's seat, setting her down in his lap.

Kaila leaned against him. "What's the longest relationship you've had?"

Poe kissed her jaw. "You."

Kaila sighed, her lekku twitching. "I didn't mean that fifteen year runaround we did. I mean actually being with someone."

"I'm not talking about that," Poe replied. He wrapped his arms around Kaila. "We've been together for... What? Two months now? That's the longest I've been in a relationship with anyone. It isn't exactly my forte. What about you?"

Kaila smiled ruefully. "We are rapidly approaching my personal best. Neither of us have been too good at this, have we?"

"Maybe we were just waiting. Kai, this feels right to me. That's why I got so freaked out about Obi-Wan." He pressed his forehead to her shoulder, inhaling her scent. "All of this scares the hell out of me. I don't know how to be a good boyfriend... But I want to be." He reached up and touched his fingers to his mother's ring. "I need to be."

"You are," Kaila assured him. "When you're not treating me like personal property that you need to protect from invaders."

"Forgive me?" Poe asked.

Kaila crinkled her nose before she cupped Poe's face. "You're so lucky you're cute." She leaned in and kissed him softly. "Yes. But don't do it again."

Poe smiled in relief. He sighed deeply. "So... We won't get to Lothal until morning and there's no one on the ship except the droids and they're charging..."

Kaila shook her head. "You are absolutely shameless."

"I am a man ridiculously in love with a beautiful woman." Poe grinned. "One who is just amazingly good at sex. You can't blame me for wanting to take advantage of that any opportunity I can."

That made Kaila laugh uproariously. "So we're just going to be blunt with each other now?"

"Oh believe me... I could be more blunt." Poe swept Kaila up in his arms. "I want to have sex with the woman I'm going to marry just as soon as she decides to settle for my fool ass for all eternity."

Kaila smiled softly at him. She touched his cheek. "There's no settling. That fool ass is mine, Poe Dameron. I'm not letting you go." 

* * *

 

"What are you doing?" Rose frowned down at the large figure curled up on the floor of _Skywalker._

Ben sat up, shaking his head to sort out his long hair. "I'm trying to sleep."

Rose knelt down next to Ben. She frowned deeply and cocked her head. "Why are you sleeping on the floor of a ship?"

Ben groaned, rubbing the back of his head. He yawned. "I live on the _Ghost_. And Kaila and Poe had to take the _Ghost_ to Lothal. So I don't have anywhere to sleep."

Rose pointed behind her, smiling in amusement. She shook her head. "There is an entire base with beds and everything."

Ben looked warily towards where Rose was pointing. He then shook his head slowly. "I don't think that's the best idea. I should... Yeah, I should stay away from the base right now. There are some issues."

"Issues," Rose repeated. She then remembered Finn stewing in silent rage. That was the reason why she'd come to _Skywalker_ to do some repair work. She wanted to give him some time to calm down. Since she wasn't going to get any sleep, she might as well gone to work. "You're the reason Finn is in a mood, aren't you?"

Ben scowled, but nodded.

"I thought that might be it. He's in a really bad mood. I haven't seen him like this since... Well, ever."

"He found out about me and Rey."

Rose felt her breath catch. She knew that Finn had a crush on Rey before she'd met him. It had been plainly obvious by how much he talked about her. But in the months since then, Rose thought he'd gotten over it. He seemed happy with Rose. The idea that he would be jealous of Ben and Rey together...

Ben reached out and grabbed Rose's wrist as she began to recoil. "No, it's not like that. It's not because he wants to be with Rey. He likes you. He likes you a lot. But he really, really doesn't like me."

Rose swallowed hard. She wasn't entirely sure she believed that. She bit her lip. "Why does Finn hate you so much? He hardly knows you."

"That's not entirely true." Ben let go of Rose's wrist. "Finn and I knew each other. Before. When we were..."

"When you were in the First Order." Rose sat down on the hard, metal floor. She felt her stomach churning. She had gotten used to the idea of Ben being with the First Order, but it was still a lot to take. She didn't really know anything about his time there. "So were you two... Stormtroopers together?"

Ben shook his head slowly.

Rose's stomach churned more. It seemed too good to be true that Ben's story would be so close to Finn's. A Stormtrooper who had never killed a single person and abandoned them right after his first mission. No, there would be something more with Ben.

"I was an officer," Ben explained. "I sent people like Finn into battle. I sent Finn into battle. He has every right to hate me. And he's right. I'm not good enough for Rey. Everyone knows that except for Rey. And I'm selfish and I can't turn her away."

Rose reached out and touched Ben's hand. He seemed surprised by the gesture, even if he had just taken her wrist. She squeezed it gently. "You're not with someone because you _deserve_ it. You're with someone because they like you. I've seen Rey look at you. I know how she feels about you. If she wants to be with you and you want to be with her, then you two should be together. Who cares what Finn thinks? Rey is a grown woman and can make her own decisions."

Ben smiled softly. "You shouldn't have so much faith in me, Rose."

"You're a good person." Rose smiled back at him. "I can tell. Finn has his issues, but you just have to give him a chance to get to know you for real. He needs time. What happened with the First Order... He's still working through that."

"That's why I'm not going in the base until he has a chance to cool down." Ben grimaced. "He has every right to be there. I don't. I don't mind staying on _Skywalker_ . Once the _Ghost_ is back, I'll have my bunk back. I would've gone with Kaila, but if she and Poe are on the ship alone..."

"Probably a good call," Rose laughed. "Well you can stay here if you want. I was just coming in to do some work while Finn is stomping around our quarters."

Ben's brows rose. " _Our_ quarters?"

Rose's cheeks felt hot and she looked away. "Well, after we stayed on the _Ghost_ together, we got sort of used to sharing a bed. It's nice. Having someone to keep you warm at night. And there's not a whole lot of room on the base."

Ben fixed her with a _look_. "I already know they're getting the barracks prepared for Clones... And there's a lot of them..."

"I can stay with Finn if I want," Rose replied, fighting her blush. "I'm a grown woman. But we're not... Not yet." She grimaced. "Honestly, I don't think he's ready yet."

"Are you ready?"

Rose blinked at Ben. She never thought she'd get into this sort of conversation with Ben. He seemed so shy and bashful around Rey. "Well, if I'm ready and he's not, it doesn't really matter, does it? I'm not going to push him into anything." She smiled slyly. "What about you and Rey? Why are you sleeping on _Skywalker_ rather than her bunk?"

Ben looked away. "I already told you I'm giving Finn the base. I'm going to stay away from there..."

"But where are you and Rey?"

Ben cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "Rey and I are taking things slow. I don't want to rush into anything. After what happened on Coruscant..."

Rose laughed and leaned in conspiratorially. "What happened on Coruscant?"

Ben straightened up. "I--"

Rose continued to laugh. "I _knew_ you two were acting differently. But I think going slow is good. I mean, you two only met on the mission. Sure, you can get swept up in the adventure of it all, but it's good to get to know each other."

Ben nodded quickly-- a little too quickly. "Yeah... On the mission..." He laid back on his makeshift bed. "You can get to work. Ship is big enough I won't hear you."

Rose got to her feet. "All right. Sleep well, Ben. I'll talk to you in the morning."

With that, she left her friend to get to sleep while she went to work.


	42. Lothal: Family

" _Lothal is blocked to all public traffic_ ," the automated voice came over the comm system the second after the ship came out of hyperspace. Kaila looked out the viewscreen at the imposing looking Star Destroyer. " _Any attempt to break the blockade will be met by swift retaliation._ "

"Well, this is great," Poe groused. "We came all this way just to get ourselves blown up."

"Have faith, my love... You think I came here without a few tricks up my sleeve?" Kaila grinned and Poe before typing in a code into the comm. She waited for a moment, before the automated voice cut off.

"Brother dear?" Kaila called out sweetly. "Would you mind terribly not blowing up the ship? Mom did leave it to both of us."

There was quiet, muffled conversation over the comm and then a long sigh. " _You haven't been keeping up with the news. You've got landing clearance for Landing Pad C. I'll see you soon._ "

"I told you it would be all right." Kaila leaned over and gave Poe a quick kiss on the nose. "Stop looking so worried."

"I'm not worried," Poe insisted. "I was just wondering if I was going to have to jump into the _Phantom III_ and blow something up."

"Same difference." Kaila went back to the controls and began the landing procedures.

Once the ship was safely landed outside of the Capitol Building, Kaila jumped up from her seat. She stroked Poe's beard briefly. "Give me a few minutes with Jai. You're going to spook him."

"He's one of my best friends," Poe pointed out.

"One of your best friends you haven't seen in five years," Kaila retaliated. "And he knows you're flying for the Rebellion. Just let me get us to you being here first. Chop! Time to go!"

Chopper whirred and held out an orange and yellow fruit to Kaila. She accepted it and walked down the ramp. She smiled at the sight of Jacen waiting for her. She tossed the Meiloorun to him, which he caught one-handed. "The ponytail suits you, Jai. You look like Dad."

Jacen sighed, tugging at his long green ponytail. But he brought the meiloorun to his nose, inhaling the scent. "Thanks. Tyri is still having trouble getting them to grow on Lothal. Something about the balance in the soil... "

"I've got some more on the ship." Kaila pointed a lekku towards the ramp. "I'll leave you with a crate."

"What can I do for you, Kai? Last time you were here, you needed a thousand peggats to pay off some criminal."

"Can't I just come to see my brother?" Kaila asked. She put her hands on her hips. "You're so cynical."

"Why are you here, Kai?" Jacen asked flatly. He then looked down at Chopper as the droid rolled down the ramp. He nodded to the droid and smiled. "Hey Chop."

"Okay." Kaila nodded. "Since you want to get right to it... What are you _thinking_? I saw your message from the DarkNet. Why would you declare yourself independent of both the First Order and the Rebellion. You've drawn attention onto Lothal that you didn't have before. Also, why don't you ally with the Rebellion? Lothal has been an ally of the Rebellion since before we were born."

Jacen looked up the ramp. He then glanced at Kaila. He reached a hand down to pet the top of Chopper's dome. "So is he coming out?"

"He?"

"Your husband, apparently." Jacen rolled his eyes and gestured towards her neck. "I've known the man for twenty-five years and he's worn that ring every single day. He told me he wasn't taking it off until he found the person he was going to marry."

"Babe, you should come out," Kaila called back into the ship.

Poe stepped down the ramp, BB-8 rolling right behind him. "Jace... Buddy...  It's been too long." He embraced Jacen tightly. "How have you been? Heard you have kids now."

"No." Jacen shook his head.

"No you don't have kids?" Poe frowned. "I'm confused. Kai has shown me holos. Two girls."

"He means no, he doesn't care what we have to say," Kaila sighed. She shook her head sadly at her twin. "He's made up his mind. Lothal is going to stay neutral and it's going to get them all killed."

Jacen scowled. "You have no idea what it is like--"

"Auntie Kai! Auntie Kai!" Two streaks of green ran towards her. The two little girls-- one with green pigtails and the other with lekku-- ran towards Kaila.

She swept them both up in her arms, grinning at them. "Hana! Shiri! Look at how big you're getting! I can barely pick you up!" She pressed kisses to their green cheeks.

"Girls!"

Another green figure-- this one much larger-- ran across the landing pad. "I'm sorry, Jacen. They saw the _Ghost_ landing. I tried to stop them, but they've gotten so fast. I don't know how they got the door open."

"I wonder..." Kaila glanced to Shiri. She was innocently twisting her pigtails. Sooner or later, Jacen was going to have to deal with the fact his youngest daughter was Force Sensitive. "Hi Tyri."

"Kaila." Tyri smiled warmly. She then looked to Poe. "And Poe Dameron! I haven't seen you in ages!"

Poe leaned in and kissed Tyri on the cheek. "It's good to see you. I'm sorry it's been so long."

The girls in Kaila's arms were looking curiously at Poe. "Girls, this is your Uncle Poe," Kaila explained. Poe glanced at Kaila, smirking with satisfaction.

" _Uncle_ Poe?" Tyri raised an eyebrow and looked from Kaila to Poe. "Have I missed something?"

Poe held up the kyber crystal necklace he wore, a twin to the one Tyri had around her own neck. Tyri put a hand to her mouth and let out a joyful noise. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two! I've told Jace for ages it was going to happen eventu--"

"They're not here to share their news," Jacen cut his wife off. "Kaila's joined the Rebellion."

Kaila placed Hana and Shiri carefully on the ground. "Why don't you girls go and play in the _Ghost_ with BB-8 and Chopper? Uncle Poe and I have to talk to your Mommy and Daddy."

The girls ran into the ship with the droids rolling behind them. Kaila stood back up. "Jai, this is serious. Look at how independence turned out for Ryloth. It's being run by a Spice Cartel. Lothal has _always_ been loyal to the New Republic and so have you. And making a public declaration... You're just drawing attention to yourself. The First Order has been steering clear of Lothal."

"And they're going to remain clear of Lothal," Jacen said sternly. "All of the planets in the Lothal and Calamari Sectors are part of our Coalition."

"No." Poe shook his head. "Mon Cala would never betray the Rebellion."

"Well." Jacen gave a shrug. "That was before you guys got Admiral Ackbar blown up. The Rebellion has gotten a lot of good people killed. We're tired of it. And we're protected. The _Silencer_ is providing protection for our blockade."

"That's the _Silencer_?" Poe looked up to the sky. He reached out and grabbed Kaila's wrist. "If we can talk to them for Finn..."

"How did you get the FN Corps to join you?" Kaila narrowed her gaze on her brother.

"They want the same thing we do," Jacen replied. "We've promised them a place to live in exchange for their protection."

"You could have come to us," Poe insisted.

Jacen shook his head sadly. "How is the Rebellion going to protect anyone? You can't even protect yourselves."

* * *

 

"I'm really sorry about Jacen," Tyri sighed as she watched the cooking droid. She and Poe were sitting in the kitchen together, while the young Syndulla children crawled over their new uncle. Tyri shook her head. "He's taking his Mom's death pretty hard."

"We don't know if General Syndulla is dead," Poe pointed out. He leaned over, letting Shiri crawl up his back. "Kai is able to feel master Bridger through the Force. She's worried about him... But he's alive. There's no reason to believe the rest of Wraith Squadron isn't as well."

Tyri reached out and touched the top of Hana's bald head. "It's been four years, Poe. You have to understand why he would have given up hope."

"Hope is all we have sometimes, Ty." Poe hefted Hana up into his arms and lifted her up in the air.

"I think you being here will be good for Jace." Tyri removed her sunhat, revealing her smooth, bald head. "He doesn't really have a lot of friends on Lothal. People like him, yes... But it's not like when he was flying with you."

"I'm still surprised he went into politics." Poe huffed out a long breath. "I thought I'd have to bury him in his X-Wing. What happened?"

Tyri gestured to the two girls crawling over Poe.

"Are you a Jedi like Auntie Kai?" Hana asked.

Poe shook his head, smiling at his new niece. "I'm not. Just a really good pilot."

"That's what changed for him," Tyri sighed. "He knew that the First Order was gaining power. He didn't want to be in the fleet when they finally came for the New Republic. Not when he had a family to look after." She hesitated and looked to the girls. "Maybe you could talk to Jacen. You know how things can be with his sister. When she tries talking to him, he just digs his heels in deeper."

"I'll do my best." Poe ruffled his hair. "But your husband has always been stubborn. If he makes up his mind about something... Thankfully, Kai can be just as stubborn."

Tyri smiled knowingly. "Ah, you speak with a lot of experience. How is married life treating you?"

Poe had the good nature to blush. "We're not actually married yet."

Tyri frowned. "Aren't you?"

Poe thought about his conversations with Kaila on the subject. He shrugged. "We're a little married. But it's not official yet."

Chopper rolled by and beeped at Poe. He frowned deeply, picking Shiri and Hana up, setting them on the floor. "I should go see how they're doing."

As soon as he stepped into Jacen's office, he was assaulted by the sounds of arguing in Rylothian.

"You guys know you scared off Chopper, right? I didn't think anything could scare him." Poe crossed his arm over his chest. "So what are you up to? My Rylothian is a little rusty, especially when it's been screamed."

"You two have no idea what is happening outside of your rebellion," Jacen insisted. "Lothal owes nothing to them. If it had been up to the rebellion, we would've stayed under the yoke of the Empire throughout the War. We are not going to allow that to happen again."

"Jai," Kaila sighed. "You're working out of a place of fear and that's a path to the Dark Side..."

"I'm not a Jedi, Kai!" Jacen snapped back. "Why should I follow the rules of your faith? I took an oath to protect this planet and I will not let them down. You don't understand. You've never had responsibilities! You've only ever worried about yourself. I have a planet, a family to worry about."

Kaila frowned deeply. "Is this about Shiri?"

Poe was confused by that question. He looked to Kaila, brow furrowed. "What about Shiri?"

"It doesn't matter," Jacen glared at Poe. "Just forget it."

"Why?" Kaila challenged him, taking a step closer to her twin. "Shiri has a gift and you'll have to deal with it eventually. She has limitless possibilities."

"I've seen the possibilities." Jacen turned away. "Our father was hunted for decades before he gave up his life. Ezra was hunted before he was flung across the galaxy. Ahsoka was hunted before she exiled herself. Now... There's you. You're being hunted by a boy you used to read bedtimes stories to. And you may be devoted to the Rebellion now, but I know you, Kaila. You've wandered around the galaxy trying to piece together the history of that religion, scraping by breaking the law. I want _better_ for my daughter. I want to take a stand before Kylo Ren storms the capital and murders her in front of her mother and sister."

"Maybe you're the one who hasn't been keeping up with the news," Kaila replied coolly. "Kylo Ren isn't with the First Order any longer. He killed Snoke and fled. He's Ben Solo again."

Poe cringed. While Kaila might have been proud of her Padawan, it was entirely the wrong thing for her to say during an argument with Jacen.

Jacen's scowled deeply. "And _how_ would you know that he's Ben Solo again?" He didn't wait for an answer, sighing deeply, shaking his head. "Of all of the idiotic things you've done... This is the worst! You're helping him, aren't you?"

"He's changed," Kaila insisted. "I've seen it. I've been with him for months."

"He's a murderer," Jacen yelled. "How could you... Does he know you're here? Does he know about Shiri? It's bad enough what he knows our family history! Why would you do this?"

"Because Dad told me to!" Kaila yelled back.

Jacen blinked at his sister silently. He then looked down. "Dad?"

"I saw his Ghost. He told me to train Ben. I know your feelings about the Force, but it's _Dad_. He wouldn't steer me wrong. Ben doesn't know about Shiri and he doesn't care."

Poe stepped towards Jacen and gripped his shoulder. "Jace, buddy... I wasn't sure about Ben either. Hell, I had a blaster on your sister when I first found out. But he is different. He's not what you have to worry about. What you do have to worry about is the First Order. They aren't going to be happy that a bunch of planets are putting up a front against them and one Star Destroyer isn't going to stop them. You started your own rebellion. The only way we're all getting through this is by working together."

"This wasn't a decision I made on my own," Jacen replied, his voice much calmer. "The Coalition isn't opposed to the Rebellion. But they've lost faith in General Organa. She's going to need to convince them again."


	43. Cataalda Base: Revelation

Ben didn't have time to react. Dameron simply strode up to him and slammed his fist into Ben's face. Ben hit the ground, hand going to his bleeding face. Rose hovered over him worriedly.

"So..." Ben sighed. "I guess you know about the clones."

Rose tried to help him up. "What about the clones? I heard their ship had arrived, but that was..."

"Can I take a break, Chief?" Ben asked Rose.

Rose nodded, groaning loudly as she helped Ben get up. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Ben nodded, looking to Dameron. He had ever right to hit him. Even if Ben had seen it coming, he probably would have allowed Dameron the shot. He gestured for Dameron to walk along with him. "I'm sorry, but you have to understand that when I got the clones I was on the other side. Getting a copy of a top member of the Resistance made sense."

"It takes six months to make a clone," Dameron pointed out. "And how long have you been travelling with Kaila?"

"About four months," Ben replied.

"And never in that time did you think about pulling the plug?" Dameron was glaring daggers at Ben. "You didn't think... Maybe I _shouldn't_ let the clones of my master's boyfriend finish maturing?"

"I don't think bringing up my master is a good argument..." Ben and Dameron approached the dozen clones. Standing with them-- smiling broadly-- was Kaila. "Because she doesn't look too upset."

Dameron's expression became even more furious. " _Kaila Syndulla_."

Kaila frowned. "What? What did I do?" She strode over to them.

Dameron continued to glower. "I've known you too long. I know what you're thinking."

"What you're thinking would be very confusing and frankly exhausting. I'm just _looking_." Kaila glanced back over at the clones again. "There are a dozen clones that look exactly like you. And I happen to really like looking at you."

"It's creepy," Dameron grumbled. "Please don't do that anymore."

"Oh fine." Kaila cupped his face. "They're not bad to look at, but you are the most beautiful."

"So can I go back to work?" Ben asked, looking at the Dameron clones and then to Kaila, still comforting Dameron. He knew that Dameron was going to be angry about the clones. He really couldn't blame the man for punching him. But it was done now. Ben had work he had to do. _Skywalker_ was going to launch in a day's time. He wanted to make sure the ship was completely ready.

Kaila kissed Dameron on the nose. "Babe, why don't you talk to General Organa about what we're going to do with Poe Squadron?"

"Never call it that again," Dameron insisted.

"I haven't seen my Padawan in a couple of days, I need to talk to him." She gave Dameron a pat on the backside. "You can also fill Leia in on the issues with the Coalition."

Dameron departed, waves of anger still coming off of him. Kaila frowned, gesturing for Ben to walk with her back to the ship. "So.... Finn knows about you and Rey."

"How do you know that?" Ben asked.

"Ran into Rey not long after we landed." Kaila sighed. "You know, it's for the best. If you two are going to be together, you should just be together. Making it a secret means you have to lie to your friends. Deception is a tool of the Dark Side."

"Aren't we deceiving everyone by not telling them who I am?" Ben challenged Kaila. He looked her over carefully. "Everyone at the base thinks I'm mild-mannered Ben Solo, returned after years in hiding with my heroic uncle."

" _Nerra_ , that's for your safety. You know what would happen if everyone found out the truth." Kaila sighed, draping an arm over Ben's shoulders. "You'd get hurt and it would cause chaos. It's better for everyone."

Two instincts warred with each other in Ben at Kaila's touch. One wanted to pull away. The other wanted to revel in the closeness with his friend.

"I really should kick your ass for the cloning... You couldn't at least give me a head's up on Poe Squadron?" Kaila gave Ben a slap upside the head. "I could have at the very least softened him up a little bit before he got surprised."

Ben leaned into Kaila's embrace. He didn't tell her because he hadn't wanted to see the look of disappointment on her face. "You're going to marry Dameron, aren't you?"

Kaila nodded. "Eventually, yeah."

"I tortured him," Ben admitted. "For days. I ripped into him physically and mentally in order to retrieve information from him. He was bleeding and crying out. I cut into him and what I cut off I gave to the cloners. How could I tell you? You love him, _Numa_. And I would have killed him without a second thought. You really wanted me to tell you that?"

"I want you to tell me the truth." Kaila hugged him a little bit tighter. "I know what you are and I know what you've done. This is just the level we work on. It's not normal, but we're not normal."

Ben sighed and pulled away from Kaila. "I need to get back to work. Rose and I are trying to bulk up the shielding before _Skywalker_ 's launch."

"Okay." Kaila nodded. "Be sure to get some sleep tonight. We'll train tomorrow morning."

Ben started walking back towards _Skywalker_. He turned as he walked to look back at his master. "I was training with Rey while you were away."

"That's not training." But he could see her smiling broadly at him. He didn't understand why he had these people who wanted him to be happy. Kaila, Rey, Rose, his mother... They all showed happiness at his happiness. With everything he'd done to them, they still wanted him to find joy in the galaxy.

"Are you doing all right?" Rose asked as he got into the ship. He immediately went to the shield generator controls, kneeling under them.

Ben nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine, Chief. I just want to get back to work."

"Is Chief going to stick?" Rose asked, smiling at him.

Ben nodded. "I think so. You don't like it? You are in charge. You should be spoke about with respect."

"Oh. Well... If you like it..." Rose couldn't hide the happiness in her voice.

Ben went back to work. He knew what the First Order did during an attack. He could strengthen the shielding against their commonly used attacks.

"So the Clones..." Rose knelt down next to Ben, handing him a hydrospanner. "Why was Poe so upset about them?"

Ben grimaced. "Let's just say he saw something very familiar."

 

* * *

 

Coming back into the Rebellion proper was a lot for Lando. He had always supported Leia's cause. He knew she wouldn't have denied peace so readily. She'd wanted it so badly. But she was a smart woman. She knew when the tide was turning against them.

It was so much easier for him on Coruscant. He'd been able to help. He made contacts with friendly government officials, put Leia in contact with arms dealers. But now that he was back in the thick of it, he saw how sheltered he had been. Coruscant was in denial about the state of the galaxy. They were nerfs going to slaughter as long as they ignored the state of the galaxy.

He didn't regret leaving for a moment. He hadn't known how dire the situation had become for the Rebellion. But in coming back in he'd found himself thrust into a role of importance. He'd led people before. But now, he was second in command. So many of the commanders of the Rebellion had been snuffed out. Leia needed him. He knew how the younger soldiers looked at her, because it was the same way they looked at him: This awed reverence of gazing at a legend. It was disconcerting. Being in the lead, Leia needed someone who saw her as a person to share her plans with. Someone who would question her if need be.

There was so much to balance. Now, there was even more with thousands of clones coming onto the base.

Leia was inspecting the troops along with Finn and Rex. The boy seemed overwhelmed by the responsibility, but there was a fire in his eyes. He was angry. But that fire was needed.

Leia turned her attention to the two men. "We need to break the troops down into units for deployment. Find leaders amongst them. Admiral Rex, you are the only person alive still familiar with what makes a good clone unit. Please work with Lieutenant Finn. Lieutenant, you'll take command of the troops. We don't have many officers familiar with leading a ground battalion."

Finn looked uncertain for a moment. "General, I'm just a lieutenant..."

Leia nodded. "You're right. Captain Finn, will you be able to do it?"

Finn looked surprised, but nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

Leia smiled at him. "Then I'll leave you to it."

She made her way over to Lando. Once she'd turned away from Finn and Rex, he saw the weariness on her face. She tried to keep so strong, but he knew how it all was affecting her. She'd taken no time to mourn Han or Luke. No time to come to terms with Ben returning to the fold. She wouldn't allow herself a moment when she wasn't thinking about the Rebellion. The galaxy didn't deserve someone as self-sacrificing as Leia Organa.

"Looks like we've got one up on the First Order," Lando commented, swaggering over to his friend. "They have no idea about this army. We might be able to get the drop on them."

"We have raw clones," Leia pointed out. "Untested in battle. They have their battalions of troops and are enslaving more planets by the day."

"You're so negative." Lando shook his head. "Can't you be happy about anything?"

"I just spoke to Commander Dameron about the exploratory trip to Lothal." Leia gestured for Lando to walk along with her back to the war room. "Governor Syndulla is open for talks, but I need to go to Lothal myself. I'll set up a meeting with the Coalition of Independent Planets. Maybe I can persuade them."

"If you can't, no one can." Lando placed a hand on Leia's shoulder. "We're doing good, Leia. The strides we've made in just the last few months... It's more than we could've hoped for. We just have to keep it up."

On the way to the war room, Chewbacca intercepted them. He roared loudly.

"He's opened up to questioning?"

Chewbacca nodded, growling.

Lando turned to Leia. "We should see what he has to say."

"Right."

Lando and Leia followed Chewbacca to the interrogation room.

Out of his armor, Boba Fett looked almost exactly like Admiral Rex. That was no surprise, considering they were clones of one another. Only Boba Fett had short-cropped grey hair where Rex was bald and he was still missing an arm. The Rebellion had the tech to replace it, but it would've taken a lot of resources. Also keeping Boba Fett disadvantaged was the best course of action. He was a wiley adversary. His remaining hand was bound to the table between him and his captors.

Fett glared at the new arrivals. "Princess..." He smiled menacingly at them. "I thought I would see you eventually."

"So you were hired by the First Order," Leia said, sitting down across from Fett. "How much did they pay you?"

"Five hundred thousand credits in advance," Fett explained. "I was going to get the other half upon delivery. Where's my ship?"

"We've taken it," Lando replied. "Chewbacca's been reformatting it for us. You don't have to worry about it anymore."

Fett smirked. "A wookiee taking command of a ship called Slave I. Life is funny, isn't it?"

Chewbacca roared and lunged for Fett. Leia put up a hand to calm the wookiee down. "I could let Chebacca tear you apart or you could tell me what I want to know. What did the First Order tell you about my son?"

"You mean Kylo Ren?" Fett laughed. "They wanted him brought back in to pay for his defection. They know everything about him. You're not going to be able to keep it a secret long, Princess."

Lando was disgusted by the bounty hunter. He'd always hated him, but it was worse now. For everything Ben had done, Lando was still fiercely protective of him. He didn't blame Chewbacca for literally disarming him. Speaking with Leia with such disrespect was just the topper.

"Do you know what the First Order is planning?" Lando asked, trying to push down his anger.

"They're planning to kill you all," Fett snapped back. He scowled. "I wasn't privy to all of their conversations, but Supreme Leader Hux seemed very excited. With his alliance with Grand Admiral Thrawn..."

"What?" Leia's eyes widened. "Thrawn?"

"I thought he was in the Unknown Region myself." Fett leaned back in his chair. "It is a bit of a game changer, isn't is?"

"I need to get to work," Leia said to Chewbacca and Lando. "Take care of our guest."

She walked out without another word. Lando turned his attention back to Fett. "So what are you doing to do with me? I've told you everything."

"You should get comfortable," Lando replied. "You're staying here a long time."

"You're going to keep me prisoner?" Fett's eyes flashed with anger.

Lando shrugged. "It's either that or we turn you over to one of the many planets where you have the death sentence. Now which would you prefer?"

Lando gave Chewbacca a pat on the shoulder. "I'm sure Chewbacca here will take very, very good care of you."


	44. Lothal: Negotiations

Senator Organa.

It seemed like several lifetimes since Leia had thought of herself as that, had tapped into her political side. It had only been five years, but so much had happened in that time. She'd lost Luke and Han. She had lost and regained her son. The core of the New Republic had been hollowed out in one blast from Starkiller Base.

Since she'd left the senate, she'd dedicated herself to being a general. Sometimes, she felt it was the antithesis of what she wanted to be. She'd always wanted to find peaceful solutions to the strife of the galaxy.

But deep down-- so very deep down, in a place she tried to deny-- she knew that she was built for war. She'd been in war her entire life. It had shaped who she was. As much as she tried to deny it, Anakin Skywalker's blood flowed through her veins just as much as Padme Naberrie Amidala's. 

She needed to put that part of her aside. The part that wanted to confront her opponents with a blaster and a grimace. But no... The opponents she was facing now weren't real opponents. They weren't people she needed to fight or bully. They were people who had been her allies not too long ago. People who didn't disagree with her, but had simply lost faith that she was capable or willing to protect them.

She had to admit, it hurt a bit that Jacen Syndulla was amongst that number. Hera Syndulla had been one of Leia's close allies and mentors in the Rebellion. She would've given her life a hundred times over. Kanan Jarrus had given his life. But their son had lost faith.

In some ways, it made sense. Jacen had lost so much to the Rebellion. Kanan was long dead and Hera was the Force knew where.

A sick feeling crept into Leia's stomach as she thought about Kaila's ominous feelings regarding the fate of Wraith Squadron.

"General?" Kaydel's voice broke through Leia's musings. Leia looked up from the dejarik table to look at the young woman standing in the doorway and felt a pang to her heart. Kaydel would've been well suited to political work. She was smart, one of Leia's most trusted proteges. Yet she was mired in this world.

How long would it be before Leia got her killed?

"How close are we to Lothal?" Leia asked. She idly ran a hand over the necklace she wore, a gift from Han on their tenth anniversary. The scoundrel had been surprisingly sentimental about those milestones.

"Not long," Kaydel replied. "I've sent word to Governor Syndulla. He's gathered the heads of the Coalition."

"I have no idea how long these talks will take," Leia replied. She leaned back in her chair. She felt so tired. Everything seemed to take so much longer-- was so much harder-- these days. "I want you to keep in contact with Commander Dameron and General Calrissian. I want daily updates as to the progress of the clones."

"Daily?" Kaydel repeated. "You think this will take multiple days?"

"Coruscant wasn't built in a day, Lieutenant. These planets have legitimate grievances. The least I can do is listening to them."

Leia rose from the table and walked into the cockpit. She placed a hand on Chewbacca's furry shoulder. "Thank you for bringing me, Chewie."

Chewbacca chuffed softly. He just seemed glad to have something to do other than babysit Boba Fett. The Rebellion was so short on ships, the  _ Falcon _ and the  _ Ghost  _ were really the only suitable ships for light transport.

Chewbacca growled and Leia sighed. "I don't need a bodyguard. No one is going to try to hurt me. This is a peace talk."

There was another growl from the Wookiee. Leia should've known there was no arguing with him. A Wookiee Life Debt was serious business. Even after Han's death, Chewbacca refused to leave the Solo family. Of course, Chewbacca  _ was  _ a member of the Solo family. Leia would never dream of sending him away if he wanted to stay. "If you insist. But it's going to be very boring for you."

Once the Falcon had landed, Leia stepped out and was greeted by Governor Syndulla. She smiled warmly at him. She felt old upon looking at him. She remembered him when he was a young child, running around with Wicket during the celebrations following the defeat of the Empire. Now he was a grown man, one Leia would've been honoured to serve with in the galactic government. "Governor. It is good to see you again. I do hope we will be able to come to a mutually beneficial agreement."

"Of course, General." Jacen extended a hand to lead her off the ramp. "However on a personal note, I think I should be mad at you. Convincing another one of my family members to join your Rebellion."

Leia smiled. "I might be persuasive, but I think I had very little impact on your sister's decision to stay with us."

Jacen smiled wryly. "Well. My best friend has always been persuasive in his own infuriating way."

Leia glanced back at Chewbacca and Threepio, following close behind them. Leia bowed her head slightly. "On another personal note... You know I haven't given up on Wraith Squadron. I very much believe they are still alive. General Syndulla-- your mother-- took the mission on her own volition. She knew it could take years. I'm not saying this to sway you towards the Rebellion, but I wouldn't just give up on them. Once we have the resources I am planning to extract them."

"Leia--" The use of her first name took her by surprise. Jacen always referred to her with deep respect. He took a deep breath and looked down at her. "--I believe you when you say that, but my personal feelings about my family doesn't affect this. You have made bad decisions. Decisions that have had monumental consequences. I know you're harbouring Kylo Ren."

Leia took a sharp intake of breath. She didn't know if she should chastise Kaila or Poe for revealing that information to Jacen. "I assume Kaila told you about my son's change of heart regarding the First Order and the resources he has brought to us?"

"She did. That's why I haven't told the rest of the Coalition yet. But I can't promise that I won't. He's a war criminal, General Organa."

Leia pulled herself to full height. "If something happens with Ben, I will bear the responsibility of it. None of that matters right now. What matters is we are divided. Darth Sidious used division in the Republic to plunge the galaxy into darkness for decades. The First Order will use our division the same way. Neither of us are strong enough apart to defeat them. Together we may have a chance."

Jacen pressed a button to open doors to a board room. The members-- all from species Leia recognized from nearby-- rose in their presence.

Jacen sighed. "I'm not the one you have to convince, General Organa."

* * *

 

Ben wiggled out of the compartment he'd been squeezed inside. He wiped off his brow and looked up at Kaila, who had her hands on her hips.

"You're late."

Ben wiped off his hands. "I was in the middle of something." He pushed up the protective goggles that covered his eyes. "Rose wanted me to work on the shields for the base. Having a bunch of ships is good, but if the First Order comes here, we really need to have our defenses ready."

Kaila crouched down in front of Ben. She cocked her head to the side, her lekku draping elegantly over her shoulder. "Do you know what else would help defend the Rebels? Having another fully trained Jedi."

Ben scowled. He turned away and began to clean up his tools. "I don't think my training is a problem. If I wanted to take out the First Order, I could."

"That's the problem... I don't think you want to." Kaila reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You've been throwing yourself into working as a tech. I'm glad you're getting along with Rose and you've found something to do... But you have a gift, Ben."

Ben glanced over his shoulder. "My mother had the gift and she didn't nurture it. No one thinks badly of her."

"You've been training to be a warrior your whole life," Kaila pointed out. "This is what you wanted..."

"How do you know what I wanted?" Ben snapped angrily. "I wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to fly the  _ Millennium Falcon _ , just like my dad. But I was dragged away to become a Jedi because people were afraid of me. People aren't afraid of Ben the Technician. He just goes about doing his job. And he does it well."

Kaila took a step back. "You're liking just being a tech. Not having any expectations. Not having any real responsibilities."

"I have responsibilities,  _ Major _ ." Ben pulled himself to full height. "I have the responsibility to keep our ships in the air. To build up our defenses. You have responsibilities too."

"You are my responsibility," Kaila pointed out. "I promise to train you."

"Right now I don't need training," Ben shrugged. "Right now I need to be left alone."

* * *

 

"He's just tossing me aside," Kaila said, lying back in bed. She shook her head, sighing. "I can't believe he doesn't want to train with me anymore."

Poe sighed, snuggling into her stomach. "Babe, don't worry about it tonight. There's nothing you can do right now and I'm taking the squadron out tomorrow."

"But Ben didn't even want to come here to begin with. He wanted to stay on the  _ Ghost _ and study to become a real Jedi. But all of the sudden he'd had this switch. He wants to just be Ben the Rebel Tech."

Poe groaned and sat up. He ruffled his hair. "I'm not going to get any sleep, am I?"

Kaila nudged him gently with her foot. "You're the one who wants to get married,  _ ma sareen _ ."

Poe reached down and stroked Kaila's lekku. "Is there anything inherently bad about him focusing on something not related to the Force?"

Kaila thought about it. She leaned into Poe's caress with a sigh. "Not... Inherently."

"Kid's gone through a lot. Most of it by his own making, but what are you going to do? He's dealing with it by fixing ships. And he's pretty good at it. So if this is what he needs right now... I say you let him."

"I just wish I knew where it had come from. It's only come up since we got back from Lothal." 

Poe wrapped his arms around Kaila and hauled her close to him. She sighed into his chest as he continued to gently stroke her lekku. "He's had an army come here because of him, including a bunch of clones of me and one of the most powerful Jedi to ever exist. His relationship with Rey has become public."

Kaila looked up. "How public?"

"You know how word gets around." Poe kissed Kaila's brow. "Someone must have seen them kissing and suddenly the whole base knows. Once Finn knew I guess they didn't feel a need to keep it a secret any longer."

"That doesn't have anything to do with him studying to be a Jedi." Kaila pointed out.

"It has everything to do with it. He wants to be the opposite of Kylo Ren in order to be with Rey. The opposite of Kylo Ren isn't a strong heroic Jedi... It's a quiet and unassuming tech worker. Like I said, give him time. He'll realize he still needs to learn from you soon enough."

Kaila's lekku twitched. "When did you become so wise?"

Poe sat up and kissed her soundly. "When I decided to spend my life with a Jedi Knight who is trying to balance the scales of good and evil. Now come on... Let's go to sleep. Ben can worry about himself for once."

 

* * *

 

The heady sensation of Rey in his mind--  in his soul-- was addicting. Ben wasn't sure how non-Force Sensitives dealt with not having such feelings. Then, maybe it was a good thing for them. So many of them seemed to have multiple partners. Ben didn't think he could ever be with someone who wasn't Rey. Their connection went so far past the physical. Everything about them connected together. It felt so wrong, the idea of having that with someone else.

Then, maybe he wouldn't have the same connection with someone else.

Ben pulled away from Rey's damp, warm skin. "We were supposed to be going slow."

"It's been months," Rey replied breathlessly. She dug her fingers into his hair. "I think we've waited long enough."

Ben still hesitated. It was probably the wrong thing to do in the middle of intimacy. To stop completely to question if they should be doing it. But he couldn't stop the questions that came up in his mind. "We were going to be slow. And with everything happening with Finn..."

"Finn isn't talking to me," Rey snapped. "I'm not going to let him get in the way of me being happy."

Ben's eyes widened. He felt the pure anger going through Rey straight into him. He sat up, pushing her off of him. "Rey..."

"What?" Rey demanded. "What's the problem?"

"This is the problem." Ben nodded to her. "I felt what you were feeling. It was..."

"My best friend isn't talking to me and hasn't talked to me in weeks. All because he thinks I need to be taken care of. Now you're going to push me away because I'm upset about it?" Rey's expression darkened. "Why does everyone think that I can't make my own decisions?"

"I think you can," Ben whispered. He just wasn't sure he liked what those decisions were going to be. He felt it inside of her. That brush of the dark side when her anger came out.

Was that why his parents had been so worried about him when he was a child? Did Uncle Luke and his mother feel that pulse of dark energy?

Ben felt Rey's soul as keenly as he did his own. He knew what those dark feelings were. They had been what had led him to becoming Kylo Ren.

"I think you need to talk to Finn," Ben said quietly. "You're angry at him. I don't want to get between you two. You care for him."

"He's the one who tossed me away," Rey snapped. She got up and began to dress. "He didn't like you, so when he found out about us..." Rey grit her teeth and Ben felt another wave of the dark side.

"Rey." Ben reached out a grabbed her wrist. "Take a breath. Feel what you're feeling."

Rey jerked her hand away. "I don't need you telling me what to do."

_Kylo_ felt his own ire rising. He pulled himself out of bed. "Fine. If you want to be like that." He pulled on his pants and shirt. "Take all the time you want."

Ben strode out of the Ghost, leaving Rey behind to gather herself back together. He didn't hesitate for a moment, going straight to Finn and Rose's quarters. He hit the buzzer to announce his presence and waited.

Finn answered, looking half-asleep and bleary-eyed. His expression darkened when he saw Ben. "I'll get Rose."

Ben shook his head. "I'm here for you. Tell me: Do you love her?"

Finn blinked, rubbing the back of his head. "What are you talking about?"

"Rey." Ben took a deep breath. "Do you love her? I don't mean romantically or... But do you love her? Do you care about her?"

"Why do you care?" Finn groused.

"Because  _ I do _ ," Ben snapped. "I love her and what I felt from her when she expressed her anger... I know what my parents felt now. It was dark. And it frightened me. I can't let what happened to me happen to Rey. And I think you might be the only person who can help me."

"What do you want me to do?" Finn asked. 

"I--" Ben hesitated. He felt it go through him. Another touch of the Dark Side. What was going on with Rey? He broke into the run, heading back towards the Ghost. He heard Finn's footsteps behind him. He stopped at he reached the landing pad and saw the Ghost rising up. 

"What the hell is going on?" Finn asked.

Ben sighed, shaking his head. "It's Rey. Stealing my master's ship apparently."


	45. The Ghost: Runaway II

Ben stood in the corridor, his shoulders hunched down, trying to make himself seem smaller. Kaila tugged her brown robes tighter around herself. She and Poe both look disoriented, half-asleep. Poe hadn't even bothered to throw something over himself, only wearing his Resistance issue sleeping pants. 

"Wait... Wait..." Kaila held up the hand that wasn't holding her robes closed. "Just explain it one more time. I don't think I heard you right. Because I'm pretty sure I just heard you say you got into an argument with your girlfriend, so she stole my ship and took off."

Ben swallowed hard. He shrunk down further. He was fighting his instinct to get down on his knees. He was so used to kneeling in front of an angry master. But no, that wasn't Kaila. She wouldn't treat him like Snoke did. "You heard me right."

Poe pushed his rumpled hair away from his face, shaking his head. "It doesn't make sense. Why would Rey do that?"

Ben glanced at Poe and then at Finn. He was nervous about revealing more about what had happened between him and Rey. But it was important for Kaila to know the truth. He had been scared by what he had felt in Rey. "We were... Together."

Kaila arched a brow. "Together as in  _ together _ together?"

Ben nodded. He grimaced again as he looked to the other two men.

Both Poe and Finn groaned, wincing. "I don't need to hear about that!" Finn complained.

Kaila held a hand up to silence him. "I need to hear it. What did you feel?"

"Why the kriff would you want to know what he felt?" Poe asked, still looking disgusted.

Kaila turned to face Poe. The expression on her face wasn't Ben's big sister. She looked every inch the Jedi Knight in that moment. "Poe, I feel your  _ soul _ when we make love and I know you feel mine too. That's just with one of us being sensitive to the Force. How do you think that connection is for the two most powerful Force users in the galaxy who already have a Force Bond? So I want to know what kind of fight they got into at that particular moment."

"I told her we should be going slow," Ben admitted. "And how what we were doing was making her fight with Finn... And then I felt..."

Ben could feel everyone looking at him. He felt exposed and ashamed. He didn't like everyone knowing about his intimate moments with Rey. But it was too important to keep it a secret. "I was afraid. Afraid of her."

Kaila nodded, the stern look on her face not fading. "Give me ten minutes to get a pack together. We'll go out after her."

She turned and went back into her quarters. Poe scowled. "Will you two excuse us for a moment?" He went in after his girlfriend.

Ben sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"You came to get me," Finn said, looking over Ben warily.

Ben nodded. "I did. I know you hate me, but Rey loves you. Her anger is coming from you rejecting her. I thought talking to you might be able to stop what's happening." He hated revealing his weakness to someone who perceived him as an enemy. But if it meant helping Rey, he would do whatever he had to. He needed to gain Finn's trust. "Rey and I have been rejected our whole lives. What you did to her hurt her... And that hurt... You don't want to know what that could become."

Finn scowled at Ben, shaking his head. "Rey would never become like you."

"No, she wouldn't." Ben swallowed hard. "She would become worse. Even on the side of light, she's like fire. No one is untouchable. My uncle used to say the brighter the light, the darker the shadow. Rey's got the brightest light I've ever seen. If she fell to the Dark Side..."

There was now a flicker of fear in Finn's eyes. "I don't want to believe you."

Ben nodded. "But you do. And it terrifies you. And it should."

* * *

 

Poe was taken aback when as soon as he stepped into his quarters he saw Kaila remove her robe, revealing her nakedness. "Babe, can we take a second to talk about this?"

"Don't have a second." Kaila began to pull on her clothes. "Go talk to security in the bay. Ask why the  _ Ghost _ was allowed to take off without clearance. And can you find me a ship?"

"Babe, babe..." Poe put his hands on Kaila's hips, turning her to face him. "You in full commanding Jedi mode is sexy in a way we  _ might _ have to explore later, but I need you to slow down. You can't just run off without thinking this through."

"I have thought this through," Kaila said firmly. She pulled away from his hands. "I'm getting dressed, I'm going to get on a ship and track down the  _ Ghost _ . I'm going to take Rey by the hair bun and drag her back here."

"Give me an hour," Poe replied. He cupped her chin. "I'll get us set up to go out. You and I can..."

Kaila shook her head. She stepped further back. "Not you and me. You can't come with me on this. This is Jedi business."

Poe blinked, his shoulders slumping. "Oh. Okay. So that's how it is. Well..." He took a deep breath. "This is a little bit of a blow to my ego. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I did think I was a pretty capable fighter even if I wasn't a wizard warrior. But I should have known this would come eventually."

"I didn't mean it like that." Kaila strode to Poe and cradled his face. She gave him the smallest of smiles. "Leia's not here right now. She left you in charge. You can't just run off at a moment's notice. But I can. It's sort of my job. Keep the Jedi in line. Besides, no one here can track the  _ Ghost _ better than I can." She pressed their foreheads together. "If I could have you come with me, you know I would. But we knew this was going to happen. We were going to have to go on missions on our own. You stay here, hold down the fort. Train Poe Squadron."

"Quit calling them that," Poe sighed. He tilted his head up and kissed Kaila on the forehead. "You better be careful."

"It's Rey having a temper tantrum. It's just a milk run." Kaila pulled back. She then picked up her lightsaber, pausing to glance at the weapon before clipping it to her belt. "I hope."

"But the warning you got about Rey..." Poe felt a sick feeling inside of him. If Ben was worried about the darkness inside of Rey, it must have been bad. He eyed Kaila's lightsaber again. If Rey were really touching darkness...

"What do you need?"

"A ship," Kaila replied. "One capable of tracking. Doesn't need to be big. Just big enough for me and Ben."

Poe nodded. "And Finn."

Kaila frowned. "Finn?"

Poe nodded firmly. "Finn is part of why Rey took off. I want the three of them to work things out. Keep things under control, but let them do what they have to. That's an order, Major."

Kaila sighed, nodding. She started to walk towards the door. "Fine. A ship big enough for three."

Poe nodded. "All right. And Kai..." He grabbed her by the hand, pulling her to him. "If you die, I'm going to be really upset. And maybe keep those two idiots alive while you're at it."

Kaila smiled. "Didn't think you cared about Ben."

Poe blinked. Neither did he. Funny how things changed.

 

* * *

 

What had she done? Rey was already feeling the overwhelming sense of guilt of her actions. She sat in the pilot's seat of the Ghost, looking out into hyperspace. She hadn't even considered what she was doing. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time. She'd been fighting with Ben and she felt the overwhelming need to get out of there.

She felt another stab of anger. Ben had taken Finn's side over her's. Finn, who had cut her out of his life. Who hadn't spoken to her for weeks.

Words came back to her. Words Master Skywalker had spoken months ago.

_ You went straight to the dark. It offered you something you needed. And you didn't even try to stop yourself. I've seen this raw strength only once before... _

Rey remembered the look on Master Skywalker's face. It was the same look that had been on Ben's face when they had been fight.

No, Ben had been even more frightened. She had felt it. They had been connected body and soul. She knew everything he had been experiencing and in that moment, it was pure fear.

Fear of her.

The very notion of it almost brought Rey to laughter. Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, leader of the First Order, had been  _ afraid of her _ .

She wanted to think that he was overreacting. That his time on the Dark Side had made him far too sensitive to anyone showing anger.

But she knew he was right. 

BB-8 heard a beeping behind her, followed by an angry whirr. She turned around and saw BB-8 tilt his dome curiously at her. Chopper was bouncing on his wheels.

"Oh." Rey winced. "I guess you two charge in the back, don't you? I've kidnapped you."

Of course they did. They wouldn't stay in Poe and Kaila's quarters with them. Most droids had modesty programming to stop them from interrupting their master at inopportune times. The ship made the most sense. Rey had just never thought about it before.

What was she doing? 

BB-8 rolled over and bumped against Rey's legs. She reached down and stroked his dome fondly. 

She knew she should've turned back, but the sense of shame hit her in her deep inside. She'd frightened Ben. She'd touched the Dark Side while they'd been closer than any people should be. She couldn't face them. She couldn't look at her friends and expect them to accept her back.

Finn had already rejected her before she'd gotten so close to the Dark Side. How would he feel now?

She needed to turn back.

But something inside of her screamed to keep going. To get as far away as possible. She couldn't be around her friends any longer. She was dangerous.

"I'm sorry, you two," Rey said to BB-8 and Chopper. "You're going to be stuck with me for a little bit. I'll make sure you get back to Poe and Kaila. But I... I just can't. Don't make me go back."

She didn't speak to them for the rest of the trip through hyperspace. Rey just concentrated on getting further and further away.

Despite wanting to get away, she felt her heart sinking as she came out of hyperspace and approached the brownish-yellow planet.

She sighed as she set them down. She got to work on the calculations. "You two will be able to get the ship back to Cataalda. I've just programmed the Auto-Pilot. You two can handle anything that comes up."

Rey knelt next to BB-8. "Don't tell them where I've gone. Please. I don't want them coming after me." She smiled at the small droid. "I need to be on my own right now."

Before either of the droids could protest, Rey left the ship. She stepped out onto the sand, taking in the arid heated air. She sighed deeply. "Always knew I'd come back."

Rey sighed and began to trek through the Jakku desert as the auto pilot of the Ghost engaged and the ship took back off.


	46. Jakku: Spectres

_ Slave One _ was the most uncomfortable ship Ben had ever been on. Part of it was his own feelings about the ship. Boba Fett had haunted his nightmares for a good portion of his youth... At least, the nightmares that weren't about Snoke. But the ship physically was not made for comfort. That wasn't really surprising, considering Fett did nothing but collect bounties. He didn't want his prisoners to be comfortable. He wanted them to suffer.

Kaila was flying the ship. She was there with Finn. Ben should have been in the cockpit with them, but he had others things he had to do. He needed quiet. He needed privacy.

He went down into the prisoner's cells. It would be sufficiently quiet in there. Ben sat on the floor and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and reached out.

"Rey..."

He felt her. He could feel the warmth spread through him. Their connection was still deep. It had only grown deeper since they had become physical. She might try to run away, but the spirits were locked together.

He saw her turn to face him. "Ben... Can we not do this right now?"

Ben smiled as he looked upon her. It had only been two days, but he already missed her keenly. "I think we have to do this.'

"No. We don't. I want to be left alone. I've sent the Ghost back to the base with BB-8 and Chopper. There's no reason to come after me."

Ben shook his head. "I disagree. There's every reason to come after you. You're not coming back."

"I can't," Rey pleaded. "After everything that happened..."

"I'm not going to abandon you, Rey." Ben wanted to reach out to her physically. He wanted to touch her, to comfort her. He just wanted to be able to revel in the feel of her skin. "I'm sorry I handled things badly. We should have talked. I should have let you know what was going on."

"I know what was going on," Rey grimaced, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "I felt it. I felt the darkness inside of me. You felt it too. I can't be on the base and feel that. I don't want to be..."

"You don't want to be me," Ben finished. "You know, when my parents felt the darkness in me, they sent me away. They thought I would be better with Uncle Luke. Look what happened. You need to be with the people who care for you. With the people who love you. You need to be with me."

Rey opened her eyes, finally meeting Ben's gaze again. "I wanted to go deeper. I was just so angry when you brought up Finn. It was so easy. It felt natural. To touch that darkness."

Ben nodded. "I know. I've felt it. I've felt it more than anyone should. But afterwards... The way you feel now... The more you give into that darkness, the more you'll feel like this. That deep sickness inside of you. I spent years on the Dark Side. It never went away. The wrongness of it. Rey, I killed so many. I gave into my anger and tore the galaxy apart. And every second I did it I knew it was wrong. If it wasn't too late for me, it's definitely not too late for you. Please. Just tell me where you are."

Rey shook her head. "I need to do something. I've been putting off on it. But I need to do this. Please Ben... Just understand... I need time."

Ben felt the jolt through his body as the connection between him and Rey was cut off. He shook his head, bringing himself back to himself, back to his sense of reality inside Slave One.

He rose to shaky feet. Rey had things she had to take care of. Well, that narrowed things down considerably. He made his way to the cockpit. "Rey's on Jakku."

"Jakku?" Finn repeated. "Why the hell would she go back to that dustpile?"

"It's her home," Ben replied simply. "Where else would she go?"

Kaila sighed. "All right. Setting a course to Jakku. I just got a message from Poe. The  _ Ghost _ just arrived back at the base, with BB-8 and Chopper."

Ben nodded. "Yeah. Rey said she had done that."

"Rey said?" Finn frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't know, do you?" Kaila asked.

"Know what?" Finn looked between Kaila and Ben.

"Rey and I have a connection," Ben explained. "I don't want to get into it."

"Yeah, well I didn't want to hear about you and Rey getting physical with each other. But I did. What do you mean you have a connection?" Finn glowered at Ben.

"It's hard to explain," Ben sighed. He leaned against the wall. He felt a shiver go through him. His mind connected with something. A feeling of helplessness. Being frozen to the spot. Desperate to escape, but unable to move. Words echoed in his head.

_ I love you... _

_ I know... _

That had been the spot the carbonite slab containing his father had rested. His father had been trapped there as Fett transported him to Jabba. 

"Ben?" He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I know why she went to Jakku." Ben put his hand over Kaila's, reassuring her that he was all right. He took a deep, shaking breath. "I know why Rey is on Jakku."

"Why?" Finn asked. "Why would she need to go back?"

"Ghosts."

* * *

 

"Where's my ship?" Unkar Plutt demanded.

Rey sighed, shaking her head. "I don't have it. The real owners have it. The Solos. It was stolen from them."

"I didn't steal it," Plutt replied savagely. "I paid for it, fair and square.  _ You  _ stole it." 

Getting into a fight with Plutt hadn't been on her list of things to do. In fact, Rey would have been perfectly happy to have never run into him again. But there she was. "The ship's  _ gone _ . Can you please just answer my question?"

"I told you years ago, girl... I don't know where your parents went." Plutt jerked a fat finger out into the desert. "Go back to your AT-AT. I don't think Teeto has gotten there yet. They'll come back for you eventually."

"They're dead," Rey replied. She felt the swell of anger go through her. She had deluded herself for years that her parents were still alive. Plutt had fed her delusions, wanting to keep a talented scavenger as his indentured servant. "I know they're dead. I don't care about that anymore and I'm not staying here. But I want to know who they were and where they ended up."

Plutt narrowed his beady gaze on Rey. "It would take a lot for me to think that far back. I'd need something worth more than a thousand portions." He eyed the lightsaber on her hip.

"I'd sooner bury the blade in your throat," Rey snarled. She took a breath. No, she couldn't let herself give in. She might have dark feelings, but she needed to push past him.

Plutt took a step back away from the window. "No need to do that, Girl." He still looked wary, but there was a shrewdness in his eyes. "But nothing comes free. You know that."

Rey hesitated for a moment before she reached into her satchel. She pulled out some components she had taken from Ben's quarters. They were left over from his rebuilding of his lightsaber. With the restored crystal, he didn't need the vents on the sides any longer. While they were common enough parts, on Jakku they were hard to come across. They were also well maintained, unlike the parts that had spent nearly thirty years in the desert sun.

Plutt looked over the parts. "Antilles. Your parents were named Antilles. Don't remember their first names. No idea what happened to them."

"Antilles." Rey repeated. She then began to laugh. It had come up unbidden. She fell down onto the sand, unable to contain the guffaws. 

"What's your problem, Girl?"

Rey ignored Plutt, laughing until salty tears slid down her cheeks. Oh, it was ridiculous. Hilarious and ridiculous. Kylo Ren had been right... She had for a moment thought her parents had been something of importance. A silly dream of a child. Instead, they were drunkards with the most common human surname in the galaxy!

After she finished laughing, Rey wiped the tears away from her face. She pulled herself back up onto her feet and dusted herself off. 

Without another word, she turned and began to walk away from Unkar Plutt. She was certain she would never see him again. She'd planned to stay on Jakku until her parents returned. Somewhere inside she was certain that it was where she belonged.

"Hey! Girl!" Unkar called after her. "Where are you going?"

Rey didn't respond. He didn't matter any longer. She paused for a moment and took a breath. She felt the world around her. She reached out. Despite the dead, sun-scorched landscape, life still teemed on the world. Scavengers, beasts of burden, the few native beasts that roamed the desert searching for an oasis...

Rey felt her breath catch as she touched upon something dark. It was like nothing she'd ever felt before. Even the cave on Ahch-To had not compared to this. That had been a balance. The light of the planet had its matching darkness. This was unnatural. Something had forced its way on the planet, violating the world around it. She instinctively pulled away from it.

No, that wasn't what she was looking for. She had to find it. She knew it was there. It was just waiting to be found. Waiting for her. 

Her mind went back to so very long ago. She felt Unkar Plutt's meaty hand grabbing her thin arm, nearly crushing it in his grasp. She was so young then. She was screaming as the shuttle shot off. It went into the air, but it did not break the atmosphere. They had never left the planet.

Instead of letting herself be dragged off by Plutt, she forced herself forward. She could follow the craft. She would find them. She could feel them.

Her feet moved of their own volition. She wouldn't stop. She would be led somewhere. She could feel it, deep inside of her. It was all leading somewhere. She needed to follow it through.

* * *

 

Rey didn't know how long she had been staring down at the grave. It hadn't been marked. No one had cared about them. The bodies had been abandoned carelessly. The only reason they had been covered had been not to attract what little law enforcement existed on the planet.

She felt the hand on her shoulder and she leaned into the warm touch. "I told you not to come after me," she murmured.

Ben's hand squeezed her shoulder. "You should have known I wasn't going to listen. How did you find them?"

"The Force told me," Rey replied. She turned to him. Instead of looking up at him, she just buried herself into his broad chest. She wanted to be engulfed in him. She felt his arms wrap around her, enveloping him in his embrace.

"I should have known." Ben rested his cheek against the top of Rey's head. "You're a stupid girl, you know that? I would've come with you."

Rey shook her head. She clutched tightly to him. "I needed to come alone." She sighed into his chest. "But I'm glad you're here."

Regretfully, Ben pulled back. He tilted Rey's chin up to make her look at him. "What did the Force tell you about your parents?"

"Not much," Rey admitted. "Just that they were here. Little bits and pieces. Someone buried them here after murdering them." She wiped her cheeks. When had she started crying? Now that she thought about it, her eyes felt tired. It must have been long before Ben had come to her. "My name is Rey Antilles."

Ben stilled, looking down at Rey with wide, surprised eyes. After a long, drawn-out moment he began to laugh.

"It's not that funny," Rey hissed at him, ignoring the fact she had the same reaction to the news.

Ben continued to chuckle, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. It's just... If you do want to find anything about your family, I doubt you'll have much luck. There's at least a dozen Antilles on every planet in the galaxy. Usually more."

Rey looked down at the grave-- no, the dump site-- of her parents. She sighed. "It doesn't matter. I just needed... I needed to find them. Even if it was just this. I needed to put it behind me. I needed to put this planet behind me. I have now."

Ben draped an arm over Rey's shoulders, leading her away from the site. She went willingly, leaning against his strong frame. His fingers gently stroked the bare skin of her shoulder. "What I said when I was still Kylo... Not all of it was wrong. Forget the past. Those people who abandoned you... They didn't deserve you. You have people now who care about you. People who love you. Not just me." He paused. "But especially me."

They walked in silence the rest of the way, but Rey felt comforted by Ben's presence. She was in love with this man. For everything they had gone through, she still loved him. It was unbelievable and ridiculous, but there they were.

Rey slowed as they approached the ship. She frowned deeply. "You came to get me in the bounty hunter's ship?"

Ben looked down at her. "Yeah, well... Someone took off with Kaila's ship. You might want to apologize to her for that."

Finn came tearing out of the ship. "You found her! Rey!" He stopped abruptly, kicking up a cloud of sand as he looked from Rey to Ben, a momentary look of displeasure crossing his face. He he sighed and shook his head.

"I'll go see how Kaila is doing. Give you two... Yeah." He moved away from Rey, giving her a small, reassuring smile.

Rey looked down at the ground, shifting awkwardly as she wondered what she was supposed to say to Finn. She felt the anger in her, but she needed to push in down, away. She couldn't hold onto her anger at him.

The silence between them stretched on for what seemed like forever. Finally, Finn spoke, "We were worried about you."

Rey nodded. "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have left like that. I just... I needed some time. I wasn't really feeling welcome at the base anymore."

"Are you in love with him?" Finn asked.

Rey nodded. "Yes."

Finn sank down onto the sandy dune, sighing deeply. "See, I knew that. I knew how you felt about him. Even before I knew about you two. I definitely knew how he felt about you. I wasn't that stupid. I just tried to convince myself that nothing would come of it."

Rey sat down next to him. "He's not the same man. You know that, right? Things have been changing for a long time. I wouldn't be with him if he was the person who did all of that terrible stuff. He wants to make up for it all. I can see the goodness in him."

Finn scooped up some of the sand, letting it run through his fingers. "I wish you had told me. We're supposed to be friends. You don't have to keep things from me."

"I didn't know how to tell you." Rey looked him over. His expression was one of deep concentration, even if he was just playing with the sand. She felt a wave of guilt. Finn had been her first friend. She had trusted him when she had no reason to trust anyone. Yet he had wormed his way into her heart. "I know we're not okay. But I hope we will be."

"Don't lie to me anymore," Finn requested.

Rey nodded. "Of course." She leaned over and embraced him in a hug. She sighed in relief, feeling the anger drain out of her. 

"I hate your boyfriend, Rey," Finn muttered.

"I know you do."

Finn cupped the back of her head. "I think you're way too good for him."

"I know you do."

They parted and Rey noticed several items sitting on the sand near the ramp. She cocked her head in surprise. "I know that stuff." She got up and looked it over. She picked up the ratty, homemade toy and the X-Wing helmet. "This is my stuff."

Finn nodded. "Yeah. When Ben was trying to find you, he felt your... I don't know... Your presence? At an old AT-AT. He took this stuff."

Rey smiled softly. As much as she was glad to be gone from this place, there was a deep sense of nostalgia looking at the bits and pieces she had collected over the years. "That was my home. This was all of my stuff."

"Why did you come back here?" Finn asked. "Of all places."

"I needed to find something," Rey replied.

"Did you find it?"

Rey nodded. "My name is Rey Antilles."

"Antilles?" Finn repeated. "I know a bunch of--"

Rey held up a hand. "I know. Everyone knows an Antilles. It's way too--"

The words died on Rey's lips when Kaila ran out of the cockpit, lightsaber in hand. "We have a problem. Ben!"

Ben came running out. "What's going on?"

"Lightsabers and blasters out. I picked them up on scanner. They're jamming the controls. We won't be able to take off."

Weapons in hand, they went down the ramp of the ship. Several transports had landed, surrounding them. A shadow was cast over them by the looming ship above them.

One of the transports open, stormtroopers pouring out. They were followed by Hux, looking imperiously over them. "As Supreme Leader of the First Order, I am placing you under arrest."


	47. Jakku: Battles

Finn glared at Hux, raising his blaster up. "If you think we're going to give up without a fight..."

"I suggest you do," Hux spat. He gestured to the troops that surrounded _Slave One_. "There are four of you. I have all of these men. Hardly fair."

"You're right." Kaila nodded, looking over the troops. She then raised her lightsaber and ignited the blade. "Would you like another battalion to even the odds?"

"Get them!" Hux screamed his command at the troops.

The sound of blaster bolts filled the air, but none of them reached their target. Ben's hand trembled as he held it out, keeping the bolts in stasis. With a small flick of his wrist, the bolts ricocheted back, hitting troops and sending them to the ground. He ignited his violet lightsaber blade. "Be careful. The troops are just the first wave. I can feel it."

Rey used her green lightsaber to deflect blaster bolts one-handed. She reached into her pack and pulled out a second lightsaber. Finn recognized it. It had been the one he'd fought with, the one Rey had rebuilt. "Stay back and keep up blaster fire." She pressed the lightsaber into his free hand. "If they get too close, you know what to do."

Finn did as he was told. He remained on the ramp of _Slave One_ , keeping himself elevated above the troops. He dodged the blaster fire that came towards him and returned it in kind. Only a few bolts got near him. The Jedi were keeping the brunt of it away.

He had to concentrate on his own safety and the cover he was giving them, but Finn could see the elegance in how they Jedi fought. He'd never had the chance to really see it before. Kaila movements were fluid and acrobatic, flipping and tumbling around the stormtroopers before she cut through their armor with her blue blade. Both Rey and Ben were rougher, attacking with brute strength. It was no less beautiful, but far more aggressive.

As Ben sliced at a trooper, Finn saw another raise his gun behind him. Ben wasn't going to see it in time. There was only a breath, a heartbeat to consider the situation. It would have been so easy...

Finn fired at the troop, the shot slicing through the back of his armor and sending him down. Ben whirled around to look at the troop and took a moment to consider the situation. He then nodded his head to Finn in silent recognition. Finn felt the guilt of the fleeting thought of letting him die, but was quickly distracted by the thrum of a riot control batons coming to life.

But no, these were not like the riot control batons Finn had seen in action previously. It was louder and the electrical current were longer, brighter. It seemed like the First Order was preparing itself to fight Jedi.

It didn't seem to faze the Jedi. If anything, the change in fighting style seemed to suit them. If anything, the fighting became even more furious. Even as he fired, Finn could see the bright light of the sabers flashing as they struck against the batons.

"Bring them in alive if you can!" Hux demanded. "We need information on the Resistance."

Kaila kicked back a trooper. " _This_ guy is the leader of the First Order now? I guess they'll follow anyone, won't they?"

"That one you can kill!" Hux snarled, pointing at Kaila. "A commendation for the one who does."

Finn could see Kaila smile. At first he was confused by her mirth at the situation, but quickly it made sense. The troops that had been fighting Rey and Ben turned their attention onto her. They all wanted to prove themselves to their leader. Typical stormtrooper behaviour. This allowed Rey and Ben to get in behind them.

Kaila turned her lightsaber around so the hilt faced outwards. She began swinging it in a way Finn had never seen before.

Ben swung his saber at a troop and grabbed his blaster as he fell. "Kaila!" threw his lightsaber. It remained ignited, cutting through a swath of troops. Kaila deftly caught the saber in her free hand, using it as a twin to her own. Ben began to shoot the troops in the back as they crowded in, while Rey continued to cut them down.

With the troops focusing their attentions, Finn took the opportunity. He raced from the ramp to join Rey and Ben. He cut through the troopers that were still focused on taking the ship. His heart was thrumming in his chest, the thrill of battle coursing through him.

As he was running, he heard a thump behind him. He looked back briefly to see a trooper had fallen close by. He looked ahead and saw Ben looking at him. "Watch your back, Lieutenant."

The troops were nearly decimated, only a fraction of their number left from the initial fight. But there wasn't time to rest. Another shuttle was landing on the sands.

Kaila cut her way through the troops, joining Ben, Rey and Finn. "That was a bit of a workout."

"There's more troops coming," Finn pointed out as the ship landed.

Ben's face went pale. He shook his head. "Not more troops."

The shuttle opened and six black-clad figures marched out. One by one they ignited their crimson lightsabers. The tallest-- the one in the middle-- pointed his blade towards them. "Ben Solo... In the name of the Knights of Ren, I sentence you to death."

The Knights of Ren. They had always been spoken about in whispers. Finn had never seen them. Only Kylo Ren had revealed himself to the First Order at large. The death squad of dark side users was only used to exterminate Jedi. He might not have possessed the Force, but he could feel the fear radiating off the others.

"Finn, you need to run." Finn had never heard fear in Kaila's voice before. She had seemed so confident when the fight had begun, but the presence of the Knights of Ren had changed everything. "Ben, take your lightsaber back."

"You should really use both," Ben replied. "Miss Tano's lessons shouldn't be wasted and you're going to want to use everything you have."

Kaila didn't pay attention to him. "Finn, I told you to _leave_. _Now_."

Finn looked to Ben. He held out the lightsaber Rey had given him. If he was really going to run, he didn't need the weapon. His Jedi friends did. "Kick their asses."

Ben handed over his blaster. "Keep the troops off of us. But get as far away from here as you can."

Rey gave him a nod. "Go. Don't look back."

Finn started to move back, firing at troops as he went. He pointed his blaster towards Hux. He could do it before he left. But Hux saw him, pushing one of his guards into his way.

"Finn _leave!_ " Kaila shouted.

It hurt to leave. Finn had run so much. He'd run from the First Order. He'd tried to run from the Resistance several times. Finally, he wanted to take a stand... And he was told to run away. He knew he couldn't survive against the Knights of Ren, but he wasn't sure Rey, Kaila and Ben could either.

They were outnumbers two to one. The Dark Side users would use every dirty trick they could. They needed him... But still, he ran.

He ran all the way to Niima Outpost. If they were going to survive, they needed back-up. He needed to get in contact with the Rebellion. Even if they managed to take out all of Hux's troopers and the Knights of Ren, the Star Destroyer overhead would take out their ship before they were able to escape.

In the outpost, Finn noticed the concession stand. He'd only seen it briefly upon his first visit there, but he knew it from Rey's description. That was where Unkar Plutt worked. He contacted junkers from all over the galaxy to take the scrap he had people like Rey salvage. He pushed scavengers out of the way in the line for rations to get to the front. He leaned into the window to confront the Crolute. "I need to use your comm unit."

"Who the hell are you?" Plutt demanded.

Finn pointed his blaster at Plutt. "I don't have time. I'm using your comm system now!"

Plutt opened up a door to allow Finn inside. He knelt next to the unit and went to punch in frequencies. He would need to remember to erase them, so Plutt didn't track the Rebellion...

Oh. Finn looked at current frequencies. They were First Order. Realization dawned on him. He pointed the blaster at Plutt once again. "You were the one who called them. You were going to turn Rey over to the First Order."

"I did my duty," Plutt growled. "That girl is wanted by important people."

"Important people who will pay you a lot of credits."

Finn didn't know if he had ever been angrier. That horrible creature kept Rey as essentially a slave for years. He then sold her to the First Order.

Finn didn't hesitate. He fired his blaster, hitting Plutt square in the chest. He toppled over dead. Finn felt no remorse at the killing. He looked to the shocked faces of the scavengers. He grabbed one of the boxes of rations, dumping them out the window. "He's got years worth in here. He's been holding out on you all."

While the scavengers scrambled to grab the rations, Finn went back to the comm. He punched in the frequency, waiting with bated breath for an answer.

" _Finn, Buddy... Where are you calling from?_ " It was Poe at the comm.

"We're on Jakku," Finn replied. "The First Order is here. Rey got reported on. They made me run. They were afraid I'd get..." He finally took a breath. "It's the Knights of Ren. All of them."

There was silence on Poe's end for a long moment.

"Poe? Poe?" Finn shouted.

" _What's going on?_ " It was now Kaydel on the comm. " _Poe just ran out of the comm room and told me to take over._ "

"We're in trouble, Kaydel."

* * *

 

Something inside Ben rebelled against fighting against the Knights of Ren. He knew who they were-- what they were. They would kill him, Kaila, Rey and everyone in the Rebellion if they had the opportunity.

But that didn't change the fact they had been as close as he had to family for years. Even before they had turned to the Dark Side, he had lived with the Knights, studied with them. He knew them as well as he knew anyone.

Exar Ren-- Kyp-- raised his lightsaber. "You betrayed us, Ben."

Ben raised the lightsaber Finn had given him. "I did what was right. You can still do it too, Kyp. There's time to save yourself."

"Saved from what?" Exan laughed darkly. It hurt to hear that noise. Kyp had once been a good man. But Ben had robbed him of any goodness.

It was his fault. Every single one of them.

Daka Ren... Garowyn... Trust Luke to believe a Nightsister could become a Jedi... And for Ben to destroy that notion.

Jadus Ren... Welk... He had followed Ben without question.

Traya Ren... Alema... She and Kaila had been friends when they had been training.

Vectivus Ren... Zekk... He had trusted Ben. He was as close to a friend as Ben had ever had.

Asajj Ren... Tahiri... She had only been a _child_ when she chose to follow him.

Exar Ren... Kyp... He'd led the charge to protect Ben when he found out what Luke had done. Ben had twisted that.

"Leave, Hux," Exar commanded.

Hux's face took on a miraculously paler shade. "Excuse me? I am the Supreme Leader of..."

" _Leave_." There was no mistaking the Force manipulation in this command.

Hux gestured to the few remaining troops and they got into the shuttle and retreated from the battlefield, leaving nothing but the corpses between Jedi and Knight of Ren.

Ben couldn't hesitate. They wouldn't. The six Knights charged towards them. Ben clashed sabers with Exar. He was the fiercest of his knights. He needed to keep him away from Rey and Kaila. Ben would die to protect them. Despite his own battle, he kept an eye on the others.

Kaila and Rey were firm in their resolve. Rey was savage, meeting Jadus and Asajj with as much ferocity as they did her. There was something beautiful about the fire in her as she fought. Ben knew he shouldn't find it alluring. They were in a light or death situation... The feelings also grazed against the Dark Side.

Kaila faced Vectivus and Traya, wielding both her own and Ben's lightsaber. While Master Bridger had been her teacher, this fight showed how much Miss Tano had taught her. When the fight was over-- if it came out in their favour-- Kaila needed to build a second lightsaber. Jar'Kai was a difficult form, but it suited Kaila's acrobatic style.

"I'll kill them both," Exar hissed. "And I will make you watch. The little girl... I'll take her apart piece by piece."

Kylo felt the anger rise in him. He lost sight of the girls. They could handle themselves on their own. He needed to destroy Exar. Ben knew he wasn't just taunting him. He meant every single word of it. Given the chance, he would torture Rey for hours just to hurt him.

In that moment, Ben didn't see the mask of Exar Ren. Instead, he saw his own helmet. The one he had destroyed after Snoke had called him a child in a mask...

His blows were brutal, blue blade clashing against red.

It was his fault. None of these people would have fallen if it weren't for him. He was to blame for all of it. The Knights. The destruction of Hosnian Prime. The death of his father. The death of Luke.

The Knights might have deserved to die, but Kylo Ren deserved the same fate. There was no denying it.

Ben felt pain go through him. He knew it wasn't happening to him, but it felt it just as acutely. A moment later he heard the cry. His attention was pulled from his battle with Exar Ren. He turned just in time to see Jadus's lightsaber slice through Rey's arm.

" _Rey!_ " He cried.

In that moment, there was nothing Ben Solo could do to contain the Force shockwave Kylo Ren released. The fights were ended as the combatants were knocked off their feet, sliding through the sand.

Kylo ignored Exar. He ignored Kaila. He even ignored Rey. He focused his attention instead of Jadus, who struggled to get to his feet.

"Stay down," Kylo demanded. Jadus was frozen to the spot.

Kylo grabbed a hold of Jadus's helmet, pulling it off of him. He was only a few years younger than Ben, but in that moment the fear made him appear even younger.

"Master!" Jadus pleaded.

"Not anymore." Kylo shook his head. He brought his lightsaber down, burying it deep into Jadus's chest, straight through to the sand.

He wretched Jadus's lightsaber from his dead grip. Wielding both blue and red sabers, Kylo turned his attention to the other knights. "Who's next?"

" _Ben!"_

Ben heard the anguish in Rey's voice. He turned to look at her. She'd struggled to her feet, holding what was left of her arm to her chest. Kaila was crawling across the sand towards her. Rey shook her head. "Don't do this, Ben."

She'd said those words to him before. He hadn't listened to her then. But he would listen to her now. Regret at his actions filled him.

He'd given into the Dark Side once again. He'd savagely murdered one of his own disciples. Someone he'd known since he was a boy.

"Worry about it later," Kaila panted. "We have to get out of here."

She was right. They couldn't defeat all of the Knights. Not with Rey injured. Ben clipped both his and Jadus's lightsaber to his belt and swept Rey up into his arms.

"Onto the ship!" Kaila gestured for Ben to follow her.

"A Firespray against a Star Destroyer?" Ben couldn't hide the disdainful disbelief in his voice. "They'll blow us out of the sky the second we break the atmosphere."

Kaila jumped into the pilot's seat and began takeoff procedures. "Who said anything about breaking the atmosphere?"

The ship took off into the air, but instead of continuing its ascent, the ship skimmed across the dunes of Jakku.

Ben held Rey close to him. He closed his eyes, feeling relief that she was safe and that they were escaping. But the guilt continued to gnaw at him. It seemed Kylo Ren was not as gone as he wanted him to be.


	48. Jakku: Disturbance

Luke wanted to reach out and touch Ezra's hand, to give him comfort. But if he corporlized himself, he would reveal himself to Thrawn. It hurt. He'd told Ezra he'd stay with him, comfort him. He only hoped his presence was enough in this moment.

Thrawn had taken Ezra from his pod, bound him and put him before the holoscreen in his office. Ezra was defiant, watching every moment of the battle with his head held high. "Kaila's is doing a good job of cutting through your bucketheads."

Ezra's boldness sent a thrill through Luke. That attitude had been what attracted him to Ezra-- and what had frequently drove him crazy when they fought. But seeing it against Thrawn was amazing. It made him wish he'd seen the man when they had been teenagers. Of course, at the time, Luke had just been a pathetic farmboy while Ezra had been a powerful Rebel Padawan.

Seeing the fight between the stormtroopers and the few remaining Jedi was incredible. He didn't think it was nearly as demoralizing as Thrawn had hoped. Luke had only glimpsed Ben for a moment after his turn. He'd watched his nephew disassemble his lightsaber, the last remaining symbol of his darkness. Now he fought with a violet lightsaber, alongside of the woman he called sister and the girl he loved.

Luke had known the moment he saw Rey and Kylo Ren together in Ahch-To the feelings that they shared. He knew it before they did. Seeing them in battle together, the connection was even clearer.

The tone of the battle changed the moment the Knights of Ren appeared. Even from this distance, Luke could feel Ben and Kaila's fear echoing through the Force.

It seemed to happen so quickly. Everything had changed. He felt the pain of Rey's arm severing. He remembered that feeling all too well. Then the wave of dark side strength coming from Ben-- no, Kylo Ren.

Ezra cried out and doubled over. Luke couldn't stop himself. He reached out and grabbed Ezra to comfort him. Or perhaps he was taking comfort himself. He had such hope for Ben, only for this to happen. The wave of the Dark Side touched Luke deep inside. It shook the very fabric of the universe.

"Well..." Thrawn's voice was even and cool. He was utterly nonplussed at a dead Jedi appearing before him. "Master Skywalker. I've heard so much about you. Your exploits are legendary."

Luke withdrew his hand from Ezra. Ezra would understand if he disappeared in this moment. He would return eventually.

But he wasn't dissipating.

Ezra turned, his eyes widening. "Luke..."

Luke was so shocked he didn't see the butt of the stormtrooper's blaster before it hit him in the face. His hand wiped the blood away, staring down at his stained fingers.

Thrawn cocked his head. "You look surprised, Master Skywalker."

Whatever was happening, he needed to react. If he were somehow corporeal, he needed to help Ezra. He needed to help himself.

He reached out towards the stormtrooper to knock him back with the Force and....

Nothing.

Nothing happened.

Luke closed his eyes and realized his heart felt constricted. It felt cold. There was something missing. It had been there for so long, the absence of it was even more painful than the loss of his hand.

Despair. That was the only word Luke could use to describe what he was feeling. He didn't fight as the stormtrooper guards pulled out their batons and began to pummel him. He didn't make a sound even as he felt bones break and skin bleed. He turned to look at Ezra, seeing his horrified expression. It wasn't the beating Luke was receiving that disturbed his lover so.

"Stop it, Thrawn!" Ezra cried.

Thrawn held up a hand to halt the assault on Luke. He breathed heavily as the pain wracked his newly formed body.

"How interesting, Master Bridger. In all the years I have known you, I've never heard such plaintiveness." He grabbed the back of Luke's tunic, pulling him up. Luke did not resist, allowing the Chiss to lift him like a ragdoll. "I suppose it would take something more than friendship to make a man leave death itself for you."

Thrawn cradled Luke's face tenderly, blue fingers running down a deep cut on his forehead. "Not that it has done you much good. He seems so fragile..."

Ezra's cry was inhuman. He threw out his hands and the binders fell off his hands. His lightsaber flew from the shelf, knocking down several of Thrawn's art pieces. Ezra cut down the stormtroopers effortlessly. He then pointed the blade at Thrawn. "Let him go."

Thrawn released Luke. "Just where do you think you'll go, Master Bridger?"

"Luke, come here." Ezra held out a hand to him.

Luke legs were shaking as he rose to join Ezra. He couldn't help himself, falling weakly into his lover's arms. He cursed himself for that weakness. Ezra kept his lightsaber trained on Thrawn as he backed out of the room, carefully carrying Luke along with him.

Once they were out of the office and into the corridor, Luke turned to Ezra. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Thrawn's right. Where will you go, Ezra?"

"Shut up." Ezra leaned in, pressing his mouth Luke's. Luke could feel the desperation in his kiss. Even in that moment of confusion, he reveled in the sensation of his lover's touch once again. "I need a moment to think. But this is the best time to get away. Thrawn is thrown off. And most of the troops will have gone after Kaila and the others. No Knights of Ren here. Just us. Two Jedi Masters."

Luke shook his head. "One Jedi Master and whatever I am. Ezra, I know you can feel it."

"We'll figure it out," Ezra insisted. "I'm sure it's just temporary."

"Ezra, I'm _dead_. That's not a temporary situation. I can't use the Force anymore! I can barely move!"

"I'll take care of it!" Ezra insisted. There was a mad look in Ezra's eyes. Luke knew he had no idea what he was doing and now he was panicking because of it. There was no escaping the Star Destroyer. Not with all of Wraith Squadron. Ezra had acted on instinct and a need to protect Luke.

Luke was the one who was supposed to be protecting Ezra. Was he brought back from the dead just to fail more?

"You should have moved faster, Master Bridger." Thrawn's office door slid open. He jerked his chin casually behind Ezra and Luke.

Luke turned to see at least three dozen stormtroopers marching towards them.

"I never would have released you from your shuttle pod if I did not have back-up, Master Bridger. Unable to use the Force, _Mister_ Skywalker?" Thrawn's lips curled in a cool smile. "Well, that is certainly interesting. Detain him with the other Rebels. As for Master Bridger... You do have to pay for that escape attempt."

Luke felt helpless as he was pulled away from Ezra. "They can't break you, Ezra! Just stay strong! _Ezra!_ "

 

* * *

 

 

Wedge sighed as he leaned against Norra. He was far too old to be imprisoned for so long. How long had it been exactly? Months? Half a year? He didn't know how much longer they could hold out.

Everything was made worse by the visits from Thrawn. He seemed to gain perverse pleasure at telling his prisoners how badly the Resistance was doing.

As he clutched Norra's hand, Wedge wondered about the fate of Snap. His stepson was a brilliant pilot, but hadn't Wedge seen dozens of brilliant pilots die at the hands of the Empire?

Wedge needed to remain strong, if just for his wife's sake. Norra already had the dark thoughts of her son's demise. Wedge would do nothing to encourage those feelings by revealing he shared them.

"There's got to be a way to jam this control." General Syndulla muttered as she stared at the control panel. She seemed to be at alert, thinking. "If Ezra were here, he could get it."

Wedge sighed deeply. Another day of this. "General, all due respect... You haven't gotten it in this long, what makes you think you'll get it now?"

General Syndulla turned to face him. "Wedge, we've known each other for over thirty years and we share a rank. How many times do I have to tell you to call me Hera already?"

Wedge shook his head. "Never going to happen."

General Syndulla and the Ghost crew had brought him into the Rebellion. It had been on her recommendation that he fly in the Battle of Yavin. His respect for her was immeasurable.

"We're going to get out," General Syndulla insisted. "If we don't get ourselves out, the Resistance will come for us."

"We don't know who is _left_ in the Resistance." Norra finally spoke up. She clutched tightly to Wedge's hand. "You were right here with us when Thrawn told us about the Hosnian System and the decimation at Crait."

Hera nodded. "But I was also in his office when he showed me the footage from Coruscant. My daughter is with the Resistance. Poe Dameron is with them as well. They won't stop fighting. As for Snap..." Hera took a breath and knelt down in front of Norra. "I truly believe you would know if something had happened to him. Just don't give up hope. Something's going to turn in our favour."

The door to the cell slid open and the stormtroopers threw a black-clad man into cell. He was beaten and bloodied, lying prone on the floor.

Hera was immediately on her feet, moving to help him. "We need something for bandages! He's bleeding badly."

Wedge was more hesitant approaching the man. Hera was too lost in treating his wounds. She also hadn't flown alongside the man. Hadn't trusted him with her life.

"Luke," Wedge whispered.

Hera paused in her ministrations and looked to Wedge. "Thrawn told us Master Skywalker was dead."

"Look at him, General." Wedge moved to kneel beside Luke. It seemed impossible it should be him. He looked as he did when he resigned his commission. Yes, Wedge had not seen him much since, but surely Jedi must age? Still, Wedge knew deep down it was his friend and commander. "Luke, are you okay?"

A groan escaped the beaten man. "No... I'm definitely not." Still, he forced himself to sit up. He smiled tiredly. "Wedge. It's been a while."

Wedge looked to Norra, as if to ask her for confirmation of what he was seeing. She looked utterly confused by the sight of the Jedi Master. Wedge looked back at Luke. "Thrawn told us you were dead. Is it really you?"

"Honestly, I'm not really sure," Luke sighed. He accepted a torn bit of Hera's sleeve to wipe the blood from his face. "I know you have a million questions. I'll try to answer as many as I can."

Wedge reached out and took Norra's hand. "Right now, I just want to know if we have any hope."

Despite the beating, Luke's youthful face looked even younger for a moment as he smiled again. "You'd be surprised."

 

* * *

  
Even with her injuries, Rey was fighting with Kaila. "My arm!" She clutched to Ben with her good hand. "We're leaving my arm!"

Kaila cringed at the protests. Even if they had been able to retrieve Rey's severed appendage, it wouldn't have done any good. Two inches of flesh above the cut were scarred with burns, closing off the nerves. That would all have to be removed before she could be fit with a prosthesis. Nearly her entire forearm would have to be replaced.

But Rey's injuries would have to wait. The First Order was still on their tail. "Ben, get on the Ion Cannon! I need them off my tail! Rey! _Rey!_ Are you okay enough to fight?"

Rey struggled to stand, but nodded. Both Ben and Rey took the seats for the gunners. Rey's pain was radiating through the Force, but she was holding it together as she took the controls in her good hand.

Kaila focused on the controls. It would have been so much easier in the _Ghost_ . The controls of that ship felt like an extension of herself. But she would get through it. She may have lacked her lover's _I can fly anything_ attitude, but she was handy at the controls.

"We've got a TIE Fighter coming in!" Ben cried as he looked over his display. He gripped the controls and began to fire at their opponent.

Firing was all well and good, but it was going to be evasive maneuvers that would save them. They were utterly outmanned and outgunned. They needed an escape.

"The graveyard!" Rey shouted, her voice pained.

Kaila nodded and hit the thrusters, sending Slave One past Niima Outpost and into the Graveyard of Giants. The enormous ship corpses embedded in the sand would provide a labyrinth for the TIE fighters to follow them through.

The ship shook as it took fire from one of the TIE. Rey wretched her controls and fired. One of the ships disappeared from Kaila's viewscreen. Rey had hit it, but the girl had released her controls.

"Rey!" Kaila cried. But it was no use. The girl was slumping down in her seat, the pain of her severed limb taking its toll on her body.

Kaila was concerned about Rey, but she needed to keep focused on the fight. The Star Destroyer hanging over Jakku was going to keep sending out TIE Fighters to attack them. If they broke atmosphere the Destroyer itself would go after them. Not to mention Finn was still on the planet. Rey may have been in shock from her injury, but they would all be hurt much worse if they did not get away.

Unfortunately, Ben did not share Kaila's dispassionate view of the situation. He leapt from his seat, racing to Rey. "Rey!" He picked her up and began to fuss over her.

"Are you kidding me with this?" Kaila demanded. "I need you, Ben!"

"Rey needs me more!" Ben snapped back angrily.

"I knew you'd be the death of me, Ben Solo!" Kaila snarled. Thankfully, Fett rarely worked with partners and everything on the ship was controllable from the pilot's seat. A Special Forces TIE was close on her tail.

" _Kriff!_ " Kaila swore. It was getting too close for her to fire on it. She took a breath and looked at the controls. There had to be something she could do.

She abandoned the guns, turning instead to the custom tractor beam Fett had installed to capture a ship carrying his target. She locked the TIE in, and hit her controls hard, spinning the ship around so hard she nearly threw Ben and Rey out of their shared seat.

"What are you doing?" Ben demanded, holding tight to Rey.

"I have to do something, don't I?" Kaila replied. She disengaged the tractor beam abruptly. The sharp maneuvering and the drop of the tractor beam sent the TIE off course, careening into the wreckage of a downed AT-AT.

She saw more ships coming in on the sensors, but instead of firing a voice came over the comm.

" _That better be you flying, Kai, because that was really sexy._ "

"Poe?!" Kaila couldn't stop the smile from dominating her face. "What are you doing here?"

" _Finn contacted us. Already picked him up. We've got your back."_

A wave of relief washed over her. She could see it on the monitor now. A half dozen X-Wings were coming in alongside the _Ghost_.

"Poe Dameron, I could kiss you on the mouth!"

" _Wouldn't be the first time_ . _Now come on, break atmo and let's give this Star Destroyer hell._ "

 

* * *

 

Poe pulled the Ghost up into space. He was getting closer and closer to the Star Destroyer. "Rose! Finn! I need you two on guns!"

Rose frowned. "Poe, the Destroyer isn't arming weapons. It's shut them all down."

Chopper whirled and chirped, alerting Poe to the incoming transmission.

Poe shook his head. "Across all channels? From the Destroyer?"

The accented voice filled the cockpit and Poe's stomach filled with dread at the sound.

" _This is Grand Admiral Thrawn of the First Order. Live to fight another day, Rebels. Our fight is not with you. Ben Solo has committed the deepest of treason. We wish to see him punished. The man you are protecting is an enemy of both of us._ "

Poe knew it was coming. He began to hit the controls. "We have to get out of here."

" _We have the team known as Wraith Squadron, including Jedi Master Ezra Bridger._ "

A second voice came over the record. That voice was known to all of them through Kaila's holodocs. It was indeed Master Bridger. " _Don't give them anything!_ "

" _If you lay down your weapons and hand over Ben Solo, we will give you Wraith Squadron. It's a good deal. You should take it._ "

Poe cringed as the next words came out.

" _After all.. Why should any of you wish to protect Kylo Ren?_ "

Rose's hand came down heavily on Poe's shoulder. "We're protecting _who_?"


	49. Takodana: Split

Thrawn's words sent a cold chill through Ben.

He knew this day would come. He knew he couldn't hide from what he was forever. He was not allowed to be happy. He knew-- deep down-- he didn't deserve it. He gently kissed Rey on the forehead, trying to soothe her pain with the Force. He couldn't stay with her. She needed people to trust her. She was the last hope of the Jedi. There was no way she could do what she needed to with the stain of Kylo Ren following her. "I'm sorry, Rey," he murmured softly. "I love you."

He reluctantly pulled away from her, rising to his feet. He took a deep breath and unhooked his lightsaber, holding it out to Kaila. "Negotiate a ceasefire with the Star Destroyer so we can dock with them. We'll make the exchange. Me for Wraith Squadron."

"Like hell," Kaila snapped, furious eyes meeting his. "I've put a lot of work into you, _Nerra_. I'm not giving up so easily."

She flipped the comm switches and sat up straight in her chair. "This is Major Kaila Syndulla broadcasting on all channels." While she spoke, she hit buttons on the console. "Ben Solo is a good man. You'll have to shoot me out of the sky to get him. And that goes for the First Order _and_ the Rebellion Fleet. _No one_ will hurt my Padawan as long as there is breath in me." She gripped the controls. "As for you, Thrawn.... You took my family. Everything they have suffered, I will bring back onto you."

" _Threats from a Jedi? Hardly fitting, Major_."

"Not a threat," Kaila replied. "A promise. Ezra, I'm coming to get you. All of you."

She cut off communications abruptly. "Rey! Ben! You better hold on!"

Ben held tightly onto Rey as Kaila abruptly brought the ship to lightspeed. "What are you thinking, Kaila? You should have just given me over to them."

"I won't trade your life for theirs," Kaila insisted. “We're going to get them the old-fashioned way... With stupid heroics."

"You're insane," Ben declared.

Kaila grinned over her shoulder at him. "Any sane person wouldn't have taken you as a padawan in the first place. Come on, we have to make the rendezvous."

"What rendezvous?"

"Rey needs more help than we can give her on this ship. I was making arrangements while I sent that transmission."

Their journey through lightspeed didn't last long. They couldn't have travelled far. There was only one place they could've arrived at so quickly.

"Should've known we'd end up back here eventually," Ben commented as he helped Rey out of the ship and onto the surface of Takodana.

The _Ghost_ had landed close by and they were greeted by Poe. His eyes were wide with shock at the sight of Rey. He ran towards her, examining her. "What happened?"

"One of the Knights," Ben explained.

Rey moaned softly and leaned heavily into Ben. He nuzzled his cheek against her hair. "It's all right, Rey. We're going to take care of you."

Poe lifted Rey up into his arms. Ben reluctantly let him do so. As much as he wanted to take care of Rey, Poe had far more experience taking care of people than he did. Ben was more used to injuring people.

"Maz!" Poe carried Rey along. "Where can I take her?"

Maz gestured for Poe to follow her. She shook her head. "It's always trouble when you all show up."

Ben was about to follow after Poe, when he saw Rose leave the Ghost. He exhaled hard. "Chief... I can..."

The place where Rose's small palm struck his face stung. He reached up and rubbed his cheek. "Explain... I suppose I deserve that."

"You deserve a lot more than that," Rose hissed. Her face was etched with fury. "How could you not tell me?"

"I told you I was with the First Order," Ben sheepishly replied.

Rose shook her head. "No. This goes beyond being with the First Order. You _were_ the First Order. My parents... My sister... My _planet_. You robbed me of _everything_! You're disgusting."

Ben didn't try to put up a defense. He knew there was nothing he could say. Rose was right about everything. He lowered his head in contrition. "I lied about what I was. But not about who I am. I'm Ben Solo. I don't know if I can make up for what I did as Kylo Ren... But I will die trying."

Rose glowered at him. "Dying would be a good start."

Before another word could be said between them, Kaila's comforting hand touched his shoulder. "Go check on Rey, Ben. We probably don't have long. We didn't travel far and no doubt they were tracking us. We need to work as fast as we can."

Ben nodded silently and walked towards Maz's reconstructed castle. There had been further repairs since the last time he had been there.

"It was you, wasn't it?

Ben turned to look back. He saw Master Kenobi approaching him. He must have been on the _Ghost_. "What was me?"

"I felt it... This wave of pure hatred resonating through the Force. I've never felt the like before and I doubt I ever will again. I shudder to think what repercussions it had." He nodded. "That was you when Rey was hurt."

Ben nodded.

Master Kenobi sighed. "I had hoped I was wrong. There was a reason the Jedi of old eschewed emotional attachments. The power we wield. It is... Beyond us. We are servants of the Force. We have to be dedicated to it. Nothing can come before it. But love means putting one person in this whole galaxy before anything else."

Ben understood what Master Kenobi was saying. The reappearance of Kylo Ren had frightened even Ben himself. But that didn't change how he felt about Rey. Nothing could change that. "Rey makes me a better man, Master Kenobi. Before her, the only thing I was a servant of was the Dark Side."

The pair arrived at the room Maz had taken Rey. There were several people-- doctors Maz had enlisted to help with Rey-- moving around the room trying to stabilize her. Ben sighed heavily. None of this would have happened if it weren't for him. Rey had never touched the Dark Side before him. But now that they were together, she'd felt the need to flee just to escape the pull of the shadows. One of Ben's own apprentices had been the one to take her arm.

Rey might have made him better... But what did he do for her?

 

* * *

 

"Maz's doctors think Rey's going to be okay." Poe set two cups of caf down on the table in the back of the Ghost. "She's stable and we'll be able to move her in a few hours. But..." He took a deep breath. "They've had to amputate another inch of her arm, due to damage caused by the saber beam. No one around here has any limb prosthesis that can be used."

Kaila wrapped green fingers around her mug and nodded. "No one in the Rebellion does either. When I was still running cargo for Leia, the most common thing I was getting was medical supplies. I know what we have and it's not good. Expired Bacta suits and a pitiful amount of carbon stitches. Still, the best place for her to cover is with the Rebellion. The base is secure. With the number of clones, we can put up a good fight against any attack by Thrawn and Hux. You should get her back as soon as possible."

Poe swallowed his caf quickly, putting his mug down. "I should get her back? Why not _we_?"

"I can't." Kaila reached over and brushed his wrist. "The Rebellion knows about Ben now. It's naive to think that someone won't want to make him pay for what he did as Kylo Ren. He can't go back there."

Poe turned his hand over to take hold of Kaila's. He squeezed it hard. "Which means that you can't go back."

"He's my padawan." Kaila laced their fingers together. "I can't leave him alone. I need to keep training him. We'll still help the Rebellion... But... Just not be there. I'm not going to give up on saving my family. But we can't go back to the base."

Poe studied his lover’s face. She’d been running for so long. Ever since Ben became Kylo Ren, she’d been running, trying to keep herself and those she cared about safe. Only now had she found her place in the Rebellion. Only now had they admitted their feelings. Now the spectre of Kylo Ren was going to take it from them.

No. Poe refused. He lifted their joined hands, pressing his mouth against her knuckles. “I’m coming with you.”

Kaila shook her head. “Poe, the Rebellion needs you. You can’t go AWOL.”

“I won’t be going AWOL,” Poe pointed out. “You said it yourself. You’ll still be working for the Rebellion. You just won’t be at the base.” With his free hand, he clutched the ring around her neck. “Kai, we lost so much time. I don’t want to lose anymore.”

Kaila nodded and Poe drew her close, taking in her scent. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Finn, Ben and Obi-Wan enter.

“Rey’s stable,” Finn explained. “She’s unconscious right now, but she’s going to be okay. But the doctor say we need to get her to a proper facility as soon as possible.”

Ben’s expression was one Poe didn’t think he would ever see on the man: utter heartbreak. “She needs to go back to the base. She needs proper treatment.”\

“She’ll understand, Ben,” Kaila replied. “She won’t think you have abandoned her.”

Ben gave a silent nod, but kept his eyes downcast.

“Finn.” Poe reluctantly pulled away from Kaila to stand up. “I’m going with Kaila and Ben. We’re going to go after Wraith Squadron. The rest of you need to get back to base.”\

Finn nodded. “Of course. Are you sure you’re going to be okay without backup?”

“Have to be,” Poe sighed. “Is Rose on _Slave One_?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. She’s...” He cast a glance to Ben. “She’s dealing with some things.”

“Okay.” Poe ruffled his hair in thought. “If Rey is stable enough to move, get her onto the ship and take her, Rose and Master Kenobi back. Go as indirect as you can without risking Rey. We don’t know when the First Order is going to track us down.”

“I would like to remain with you on the Ghost,” Obi-Wan interjected. All eyes turned to him in surprise. “I mean no disrespect, Ben. I do believe you have the noblest of intentions. However, I feel it is my duty to keep watch on you.”

“I understand,” Ben murmured. “I know what I’ve done.”

 

* * *

 

Rey was lost in a sea of pain and confusion. She knew what had happened to her, but her mind refused to cooperate, let her know what had happened after her arm was severed.

She felt hands on her, moving her gently.  They were warm, comforting hands. “It’s going to be okay, Rey.” The voice was dark and smooth, so familiar and soothing.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need you to know... I love you. I’ll be back for you. I promise. I won’t leave you. I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to. If it wouldn’t keep you safe.”

Rey tried to focus her eyes, but all she could see was a dark blur.

“I love you, Rey. I promise... I will come back to you. When I do, I will be the man you deserve.”


End file.
